"Typhoon Lagoon… Blizzard Beach… Disney really likes to use alliteration and rhyming when naming things, don't they?"
Mario turned to his brother, who was looking at the welcome sign to Disney's second water park: Blizzard Beach.
"Yeah, I guess they do."
"But why? I mean, they do it all the time… Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin, Living with the Land, Catastrophe Canyon, Conservation Station…"
"It's a mystery, I suppose…"
"If you want my opinion," Daisy added, "the only mystery I want solved is why we're here already! I hardly got to do any of the slides at Typhoon Lagoon! Or the Shark Reef!"
"Daisy, we didn't do any of that because you insisted on us getting our hair braided!" Peach answered, the beads in her hair clinking as she turned her head.
"Oh, right…" Daisy remembered, running her fingers over her braided head, "Okay, it was worth it, then."
"Well, I don't know about you losers, but I wanna get in there!" Wario grunted, "Let's go already!"
"Say, Wario…" Mario began, pointing at his doppelganger's attire, "You're still wearing your swimsuit…"
"Yeah? So?"
"You didn't change back into your normal clothes when you left Typhoon Lagoon?"
"Naw, I just left them… In the… Locker…"
Wario trailed off as he realized his (and Waluigi's) clothes were still at Typhoon Lagoon.
"Um… Tell ya what, guys, me and Waluigi have to… Uh… Go somewhere… Yeah… Don't do something cool without us, 'k?"
"What? Why do I have to go with you?" Waluigi protested, "You left the stuff there, you go get it!"
"You didn't remind me to get it! It's your fault!"
"My fault!? You never told me to help you remember it!"
"That's because you never reminded me to tell you to remember it!"
"That's because you never told me to remind you to tell me to remind you to… Oh screw it! I'm not going! That's final!"
"Fine, Mr. Speedo! Maybe I'll just 'forget' to grab your stuff while I'm there!"
"GUYS!" Mario shouted, trying to break up the fight, "How about we just go back and get it after we're done here?"
Silence.
"Did Mario actually have a good idea?" Waluigi sputtered.
"Well, if Mario made it, I'm not listening to it!" Wario declared, "Waluigi, go get the stuff."
Daisy, as sick of the argument as Mario was, grabbed the two anti-heroes by their moustaches and dragged them into the park.
"Gah! Hey! Let go!" Wario demanded, "This is embarrassing! I'm getting owned by a girl with dreadlocks!"
"Their braids," Daisy corrected, "do you know what you have to do to your hair to get dreadlocks? Even I'm not that wild."
"Well, that's good to know," Peach replied, letting out a huge (and sincere) sigh of relief.
"So, uh, bro," Luigi began, trying to ignore relative chaos going on around him, "what are we gonna do here first?"
"Something that we can all do together," Mario replied, "the world's longest family raft ride: Teamboat Springs."
The theming of Blizzard Beach was unusual, to say the least. The entire area looked like a giant ski resort, from alpine huts to skis and snowboards being left lying around. Of course, there was a major component missing: Snow. While there was the occasional snow bank or icicle laden rooftop, it all appeared like it was in the process of melting under the hot Florida sun. Even the background music seemed to add to the bi-polar nature of the park: It alternated between Beach Boys songs and Christmas Carols.
At the moment, the Mario and the gang were being carried up via a ski lift to the top of the (semi) snow-covered Mt. Gushmore, which dominated the center of the park. As they were being taken to the top of the mountain, Luigi looked down to get a good view of the park from above.
"Gee, Mario, this place is pretty weird when you think about it…" Luigi pondered, "I mean, why does this place look like a ski resort? This is Florida!"
"Disney has a story behind all their attractions," Mario explained, "the story behind this water park is that a freak snowstorm once swept through Florida, covering everything in a blanket of the fluffy white stuff."
"Are you sure it wasn't just Wario blow-drying his hair again?" Waluigi shouted from the ski chair behind them.
"Don't make me shove you outta this chair, pal," Wario grumbled.
"Right…" Mario mumbled, none to pleased about being interrupted, "Anyway, so Disney decided to build the first ski resort in Florida as a result. Of course, there was just one problem: When the storm ended, the typical Florida heat came back and began melting it all away."
"What a bunch of idiots…" Wario grunted, "Then again, this is the company that decided to kill that ride where you got to visit Hell and replaced it with Winnie the freakin' Pooh."
"You mean Mr. Toad's Wild Ride?" Peach asked, listening in on the conversation from her chair.
"Yeah, that one… And they replaced that awesome child-scaring Alien ride with Stitch, so doing something as stupid as Mario is saying wouldn't be outta their league."
"However…" Mario continued, trying his hardest ignore the commentary, "Since all the melting, gushing snow was flowing down the mountain like slides and collecting into pools at the bottom, they decided to change the place from a ski resort to a water park!"
"I see…" Luigi mused, "… Making a water park that looks like a ski resort and coming up with an almost plausible explanation for it… Man, where does Disney come up with this stuff?"
At this point, the ski chairs had reached the peek of the mountain, allowing the group to get off and head over to Teamboat Springs' entrance. Along the way, however, Luigi spotted the entrance to another slide, one that had a rather long line.
"Hmm? What's that one?" Luigi asked.
"Summit Plummet," Mario answered, "that's the major slide here. It's basically just a near-vertical drop from the top of a ski jump to the base of the mountain."
"Ahh…" Luigi gasped, "Right… Ignoring that one now…"
However, he noticed that Daisy was looking rather longingly at the slide.
"Oh yeah…" she muttered under her breath, "I am so going on that."
"Come on guys!" Peach called out, "The line's still short for Teamboat Springs! Let's go!"
"Right! Coming!" Luigi called out, gladly getting away from Summit Plummet as quickly as possible.
As the group approached the slide, they were given a huge, circular raft that could easily seat all of them comfortably. When it was their turn, all six vacationers put the raft in the water and climbed in.
"Hey, lard-butt," Waluigi grunted to his brother, "move over. You're in my space."
"No I'm not," Wario retorted, "you move over."
"No! You move---"
One quick glare from Daisy got them both to be quiet.
"Okay, are we all in?" Mario asked, "Then let's-a go!"
The raft moved forward and began to go down the slide. The fact that it was the world's longest family raft ride became really apparent as the raft spent the next two minutes sliding down what appeared to have been a bobsled course for the ski resort, twisting and turning during the mad descent. Of course, as is common in raft rides, whenever they hit a banked turn, a huge wave of water crashed over the raft, soaking all onboard. The fact that Wario was so heavy made the waves even larger than normal, delivering an even bigger payload on Mario and crew.
"Way to go, Wario…" Waluigi spat, literally, considering water came shooting out of his mouth as he spoke, "If I wanted to get this wet, I would've just dived into the pool!"
"Hey, you're not the only one, so shut up," Wario snapped back.
Eventually, the raft reached the bottom of the course, allowing everyone to climb out and get back on 'dry' land.
"Well, that was fun!" Peach chirped.
"And wet…" Waluigi added, ringing out his moustache.
"So, what do you guys want to do next?" Mario asked.
"I know what I'm doing!" Daisy announced, "Summit Plummet, here I come!"
Daisy ran off, not even waiting for anyone else, to get in line for the infamous slide.
"She must be crazy," Peach concluded, "I'm not going on that, that's for sure."
"Me neither," Mario added, "Wario?"
"Okay, have you ever seen that movie Morbit where Eddie Murphy plays that nerdy guy and that fat woman?" Wario rhetorically asked, "Ever see the scene where she goes on the waterslide, goes flying through the air, and winds up emptying out a kiddy pool and sending kids flying everywhere? That's what would happen if I went on that. Now, I really wouldn't care if I sent a bunch of runny-nosed brats into deep space, but I'm not in the mood to fracture my tailbone, thank you very much."
"Dude, you saw that movie?" Waluigi inquired with obvious disgust.
"It was an accident!"
"I'm not talking to you."
"Oh yeah? And are you going on that slide?"
Waluigi struck a dramatic pose.
"Of course! I'm not a coward, nor am I fat! I'll go on and make you all look like fools!"
"You're gonna go on that slide in Speedos?" Mario questioned, "I don't think that's the best swimwear to do that in…"
"Ha! You can't discourage me! I'll show you all!"
With that, Waluigi marched off with an air of superiority around him.
"Well, there he goes…" Mario sighed, "And I know you probably don't wanna do it, right Luigi?"
No response.
"Luigi?"
Mario turned around to discover that his brother wasn't standing next to him anymore!
"Huh? Luigi's gone! But… Where'd he go?"
I have to be insane.
That was the thought running through Luigi's head as he sat alone on the ski lift, riding it to the top of the mountain again.
How many times has she told me I don't have to impress her by doing all these crazy rides? First on the Tower of Terror, then on Expedition: Everest… Why the heck am I doing this if she lo… likes me just the way I am? Why?
He reached the top of the ski lift, subconsciously getting off and walking almost automatically towards the slide he previously feared. As he got closer, he could see Daisy's brown, braided hair poking up out of the crowd. He shouted out to her, hoping that she would hear him.
She did.
Turning around, she looked at him straight in the eyes and let out the biggest smile. It was a smile that made Luigi's heart skip a beat, not out of fear, but out of joy. Quickly, she made her way back out of the line, so that they could wait for the slide together.
Luigi smiled. He remembered why.
It's because she makes me brave.
"I still don't believe that he's going on Summit Plummet."
"Peach, I looked everywhere else; this has to be where he is!"
"No offense Mario, but it's your brother. Do you think he could really do this ride?"
"I dunno… Daisy went on it, and there's no guessing what he would do for her."
"Eh… I say he's probably throwing up in a bathroom somewhere after getting sick on Teabag Springs."
"It's 'Teamboat Springs', Wario."
"Yeah, whatever."
Mario, Peach, and Wario were standing at the base of Mt. Gushmore, right next to the bottom of Summit Plummet. Although the ride technically ended at the very bottom of the mountain, the slide continued straight ahead for about a hundred feet to give riders time to slow down after rocketing down the mountain. It was clear, judging from other riders splashing down, that all that extra tubing was needed.
"I'm just worried that he won't be able to handle it," Peach explained, "I mean, are you sure he won't get a heart attack or something?"
"Peach, I know Luigi isn't the bravest guy on the face of the earth," Mario admitted, "but he can build up the courage when he needs it. If he can survive a haunted mans… house," he corrected to avoid making a rather lame pun, "to rescue me, I'm sure he can manage a water slide to impress Daisy."
"I guess you're right…"
Suddenly, a reverberating "YEEHA!!!" could be heard coming down the slide.
"I recognize that shout anywhere…" Peach began, "That's Daisy."
Peach was right. Daisy came shooting out of the slide, water rushing around her feet like the aura around a comet, until she eventually came to a stop along the 'splashdown zone'.
"Oh yeah!" Daisy cheered, "That was incredible!"
"Daisy!" Mario called out as the princess climbed out of the slide, "Uh… Did you happen to see Luigi anywhere? We kinda lost track of him."
"Luigi? Oh, he should be coming right… about… NOW!"
Sure enough, another person came shooting out of the slide. It didn't take long to realize that the green streak rushing down the splashdown zone was Luigi. He eventually came to a stop right next to Mario and Daisy.
"LUIGI!" Mario shouted, "You okay!?"
"So? How was it?" Daisy asked, shoving Mario aside and giving Luigi her hand to help him up.
"N-N-Not t-t-too b-b-bad…" Luigi shuttered, accepting her help and rubbing his bottom for a third time that day, "B-B-But l-l-let's n-n-not d-d-do i-i-it a-a-again, o-o-okay?"
"Fair enough," Daisy agreed walking the still shaking plumber off, hand-in-hand, "come on, you wanna do the lazy river now?"
Mario just sighed.
"Bro… The things you do for love…"
Suddenly, another, very high-pitched scream was heard coming down the slide. Soon after, Waluigi came flopping out less than majestically and coming to a stop almost immediately.
"Hmm? Waluigi?" Wario grunted, looking at his bro, "What's wrong? You're eyes are as big as dinner plates."
Waluigi very-stiffly got up, keeping his legs as far apart as possible, and gasped one word.
"Wedgie…"
He immediately fainted, another victim to the near-deathly combination of Summit Plummet and Speedos.
Author's Note: And again I miss my deadline. I fail to meet my promises so much, I think I'd make a good politician! (cue laugh track) Anyway, I think I have a pretty good excuse this time, though... I was AT Disney World! And rest assured, I'm so pumped up from that trip, I think I'll be able to bring this fanfic home before the year is through! The Summer, even! Actually... Maybe I shouldn't say that last line. I'm about as good at keeping benchmarks as the Iraq military is. Still, this fic is on the home strech, and I won't stop until I see it through!