Numb

Author: LonelyWriter

Summary: Her life was like the blade of grass she had crushed. She had taken it from what it knew and now all it could do was wither on the ground and no one would care about its death.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did it would have ended a long time ago with Neji and Hinata's wedding and an epilogue showing their fifteen children.

…

"Why are you moping?" Hinata's head snapped up at the sound of her father's voice. "It is not like you Hinata."

She sighed and continued stripping the piece of grass in her hand. She felt her father sit next to her meaning she couldn't ignore him.

"I am not moping," she sighed. "Just thinking about something."

She couldn't see her father or his raised eyebrow through the fan of her unbound hair.

"A message came for me from the Hokage's office. It seems that Neji and his team are being sent to the border for an undisclosed amount of time. Kō will be watching over you again."

"Kō," she repeated, defeated. So he had left without any explanation for why he was acting the way he had. She understood that he felt like he couldn't be around her without compromising her, but he could have told her why all the sudden he was worried about it.

"Your mother's garden is beautiful this time of year. You have done a good job keeping it up," Hiashi's voice was soft as it always was when he spoke of his wife. She knew he was trying to cheer her up but it wouldn't work. Not even the praise she had so desperately wanted since childhood could help her now.

"Mother did all the hard work," she whispered. "I only have to make sure that weeds do not take it over."

"Hinata," her father's voice was vexed. "Take the complement for what it is."

"Why are you so worried about Mother's garden now? You've never cared before."

Hiashi was pleased that his elder daughter had finally stopped acting like a scared child around him though he did mind her snarky attitude. "You are sixteen now." His statement shouldn't have been that profound yet her head snapped up and she looked at him in confusion.

"So, you finally figured out how old I am?" Her voice broke slightly with her last word and she bowed her head again. "I am sorry. I should not speak to my elders in such a way."

"You are sixteen," he said as if she had never spoken. "You are at the age that the betrothal of the heir takes place. Names have been considered. Men interviewed. The council demands that I make a selection soon."

Hinata's shoulders slumped in defeat. So that was the reason that her father had come out here where he rarely went. So he could remind her that she was not in charge of her own life and was expected to marry a man of the council's choice. The blade of grass she had been playing with was destroyed and she tossed it to the ground. It reminded her of her life. Earlier it had been blissfully unaware of anything but the warm sun and the refreshing water soaked up by its roots. Then she had come and plucked it from the ground and everything it had known. She had taken it and crushed it, and now all it could do was wither on the ground and no one would care about its death.

"Despite the process," Hiashi continued, "No one man had all the qualities that we wanted. Out of all of them none were even close save one. Even he had flaws that would have removed him from the consideration except for one thing. You are quite close to him and we have noticed a growing friendship between the two of you. Despite this even he had to be removed from the consideration. Finally at the end of the deliberations and no suitable man could be found for the heiress to marry I finally suggested that she be allowed to choose herself. It was met with opposition but I believe that it would be a good idea for you to be allowed in on the process. You will be marrying the man after all. I would hope that the two of you could at least get along."

"You will allow me to choose?" She whispered slowly in disbelief.

"Yes. I am not a cruel father that would marry his daughter to a man that she could not live with. You do not believe me to be cruel, do you?"

She stared at him. She wouldn't tell him that she had always found his expectations for her outrageous and when he started comparing her to Hanabi…They were two different people. Of course she would never be able to be as good as Hanabi because Hanabi was her own person. Hinata had different strengths than her sister. She was her own person.

Hinata started picking at her nails absently as she thought about her father's words. Deep down she knew he had always wanted what was best for her and he had pushed her so she could be her best. But sometimes she was less than happy with him.

"I think you have always wanted what is best for me but you forget that I am not Hanabi. I can never be Hanabi. I am Hinata. Not Hanabi. I cannot be a genius like her. I can only do with what I was born with. And that is what I have done. I have become the best person I can be with what I was given at birth. You are not cruel, Father. But you need to realize you have two daughters, not one."

"You have grown so much Hinata," Hiashi said proudly. "When you were younger you could not be in my presence without being nervous and just now you told me what was on your heart honestly and clearly. I have always known you were not Hanabi. The reason I pushed you so hard is because you are just like your mother, a very fragile woman who broke at the slightest pressure. I did it to make you stronger so you would not break. I could not lose you, Hinata. You or Hanabi. The two of you are all I have left of your mother."

Hinata gave him a soft smile. "You won't lose us, Father. We will always be here. We are Hyūga. We stick together."

"Good," Hiashi pulled a scroll out of his robe and handed it to her. "Have you any thoughts on a husband?"

"Just one," she said as she opened the scroll and saw the name she wanted written on it. Her eyes went to his with a questioning look.

"I want you to be happy. I can see that he makes you happy. And if this is what you want, I will agree to it and not allow the council to have any say in the matter." Hiashi offered her a slight smile. "Think of it as an apology for not being the father I should have been."

Hinata glanced at the scroll again before throwing her arms around his neck. "Thank you."

"Now, all we have to do is wait for the groom to return," Hiashi said dryly.

Hinata giggled. "I'm sure you can take care of that, can't you?"

Hiashi contemplated it for several seconds before smiling at his elder daughter. "Of course."