Chapter 2

center i Another ditch in the road
Keep moving
Another stop sign
You keep moving on /i /center

When Hagan was finished with her, she got another beating, somewhat halfhearted compared to what she had come to expect from him, but whatever he had tied off in her laundry bag did the job superbly. He finally left, satisfied with the lesson plan for the "No One Leaves John Hagan" Academy; so satisfied, in fact, that he couldn't be bothered with trivial things like shutting doors, or uncuffing Calleigh. She laid helpless, broken and bleeding, watching her world grow dark and fuzzy at the edges and wondering if she had alerted anyone at all…

center i And the years go by so fast
Silent fortress built to last
Wonder how I ever made it /i /center

The open doors were the first alert that all was not well as Horatio screeched around the corner into Calleigh's street. Blocking the driveway with his Hummer, he pulled his gun, making his way cautiously into the garage. Glancing into the car, he took in the boots, the turned off phone, the bloodstains on the driver's seat, and a white hot flood of vengeance coursed through him. He couldn't fathom what had bested the strength of his beloved Bullet Girl, and was suddenly unsure of his ability to go against it while simultaneously knowing full well that he would happily go down in a blaze of glory, or even a fizzle of humiliation, if it meant that Calleigh could live. He had never been inside her sanctuary before, and each smear of blood brought a new wave of fury. He worked through the kitchen, almost losing it when he saw the blood-streaked belt on the floor, putting two and two together and continually coming up with five until he got his first look into the sunken living room and saw the cascade of blond hair. Mind flashing back to his first glimpse of that hair, he forced himself to rush to find a pulse, coming within millimeters of crying when it was there. She whimpered at the touch, and he quickly unlocked the cuffs but was at a complete loss as to where he could touch her without causing more excruciating pain. When she looked up at him, the utter lifelessness in her emerald eyes chilled him to the core.

"H-Horat-io."

"I'm here, Calleigh. You're safe now, and we're going to get the people who did this to you." He reached for his phone. "I need-"

"NO!"

He had never heard that much vehemence from her before, at least not directed at him, and it stopped him dead in his verbal tracks. "Um. Belay my last. Ten-four." He looked down at her, unsure what to do but knowing he never wanted to hear that tone again. She was trembling, and he slowly took the fuzzy blanket with the wolves on it that he knew was her favorite and covered her. She clutched it gratefully, covering her nakedness. "Calleigh?"

Slowly she moved until she was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the couch. "This is not a crime scene." Horatio opened his mouth to protest but was silenced with a bolt of emerald fire. "I apologize for bothering you, Horatio. I will be on time to work tomorrow."

His mouth dropped open. "Calleigh, you need medical attention."

"I need sleep. And a lot of foundation."

The end of the sentence wasn't meant to be heard, but he did anyway. His hands were clenching at his sides as he tried to control his desire to at least process the scene, if not try to heal her by sheer will. "Calleigh?"

She looked away, cursing the way he could fit all the millions of questions stampeding through his head into the inflection he gave her name. "I deserved it, okay? I refuse to become a statistic. If you're so desperate that someone see me, call Alexx."

Heart breaking, he made the call, and the team's pillar of sanity reassured him that she'd be there sooner than humanly possible. Calleigh had a better history of shutouts than any baseball team in history, and the one he was getting now was of epic proportions. He couldn't even consider the thought that something would make Calleigh not okay and she wouldn't fix it. He knew some people were afraid of doctors but he couldn't imagine this woman being afraid of anything.

"I'm really sorry to bother you. I thought I had talked to Eric last. I hope I didn't get you from something important."

She still wasn't looking at him, and he went and kneeled next to her. "Calleigh, there is nothing I would rather do than be here for you. Whoever did this to you needs to be put in prison for life. Or worse." He saw the fear in her eyes and it was worse than a gunshot to the heart. "Calleigh, talk to me. Please."

"Haven't you ever considered that some people are just born bad?" She finally met his eyes, but the sparkling fire that made her Calleigh wasn't in them. She looked utterly defeated, mirroring the quiet desperation that he had seen in the eyes of so many battered women. Battered. Not his Calleigh. The two shouldn't be in the same universe. How could she be sitting here, knowing what she knew, and still think she deserved to be hit?

"Some people, yes. But not you." The voice that could give her chills was so thick with emotion that it got stuck, catching in his throat. It threw her enough that for a split second he could read all the answers to his questions racing through her eyes. "Hagan." It wasn't a question, and she shrank against the couch as her eyes filled again with tears, silently cursing herself for being so damn transparent and not realizing the irony of that thought.

"Leave it alone, Horatio. Just leave it."

He stared at her until she realized that she was shrinking further under his intense scrutiny. He had a hard time tearing his eyes away from her and was saved by a knock. Going to let Alexx in was a welcome distraction from the tension in the room. "Thank you for getting here so fast. She's refusing to go to the hospital."

"Anything for our girl. Did she tell you what happened?"

"She told me to leave it alone. I need you to do a rape kit, Alexx."

Alexx winced. "Okay. I'll take care of her, Horatio. You get out of here for now." She wasn't sure who would be in more pain, Calleigh from what had to be done or Horatio from hearing Calleigh in pain, and she could only handle one of them at a time. She watched his internal war, and finally he nodded and left, only to race her for the living room a split second later when they heard a gunshot. They rounded the corner and saw Calleigh, hands shaking but aim deadly accurate as she held what remained of the coffee table she had just shot at gunpoint. Alexx took one look at her tearstained face and the blanket that wasn't really covering her and practically teleported across the room to take Calleigh in her arms. "Horatio, go. I've got it covered." Alexx knew that walking out while Calleigh sobbed would be one of the hardest things that man would ever have to do. "Shhh, baby, I've got you." She sat Calleigh on the couch and kneeled in front of her, holding her close while her skilled fingers performed the initial assessment. "What happened, honey?"

"I was bad. I ruined my Daddy's case, and I was mean to John."

"Well, can I check you out?" Alexx felt her heart shatter as she noticed how completely broken Calleigh was. Calleigh nodded, too tired of fighting. Alexx took Calleigh's hand and led her to the huge master bathroom, where she knew there was lots of counter space and a bench where Calleigh could sit comfortably while the evidence was collected. Watching Calleigh, Alexx realized that she had never ever seen her friend look so small. She was small, of course, but she had a way of seeming ten feet tall and bulletproof. Alexx prepared for the exam carefully, explaining everything before she did it. She knew Calleigh knew it all, but she had almost reverted mentally to early childhood from the trauma and Alexx didn't want to make it worse than it already was. There was no way to not cause an excruciating amount of pain; there were details of Calleigh's medical history known only to the two of them, details that made even routine medical exams difficult and painful as well as preventing her from taking most medications. Alexx had stopped to fill a scrip of the strongest pain meds Calleigh could tolerate on the way over, determined to make the ordeal as easy as possible for her. She would have given anything to have traded places with her. "Okay, honey, I want you to take some medicine for me to start with alright?"

Calleigh recoiled, panic in her eyes. "Nooooooooo, no please…"

Alexx blinked back tears. "Baby you're hurting a lot right now." Calleigh nodded slowly. "Want to make it better?" Calleigh nodded again. "I have to examine you and you're in no shape to deal with what that causes right now. This will make it better."

"But Ima get sick and it's scary." The inflection in her voice reminded Alexx of when her own children were about four.

"I know it is sugar, but I promise I won't leave you until you're okay again."

Calleigh sighed, twirling a lock of her hair around her finger. "Promise?"

"I promise." Slowly Calleigh nodded acceptance. Alexx pulled a syringe out of her bag. "I know you hate needles, baby, but you can't swallow it."

The fear in Calleigh's eyes had increased tenfold as she stared at the needle. Alexx didn't trust her voice to not show her tears as she quickly administered the drug into Calleigh's hip. Calleigh bit back a scream, and she finished as fast as she could, pulling Calleigh into a hug. "Good girl, sugar. Now I'm going to examine you okay?"

Calleigh nodded against Alexx's shoulder. She was losing a lot of blood, and Alexx was more concerned with trying to repair the damage than with collecting evidence, but she knew she had to tread carefully or risk losing Calleigh completely. She was dangerously close already. Calleigh had stopped responding verbally, but her eyes never left Alexx, following her from behind a long blond curtain. She was frighteningly quiet when Alexx stitched up the worst of the cuts without anesthetic; Alexx couldn't give her any and it killed her. She tried hard to finish quickly, almost crying when she saw the silent tears running down the younger woman's face. Finally the evidence was collected and all the open wounds were bandaged, and Alexx helped Calleigh into loose cotton drawstring shorts and a soft tank top, then led her to bed and sat next to her. Calleigh nestled herself close to Alexx, finally breathing easier. "Calleigh, can you please tell me what happened?"

"I screwed up my Daddy's first case." Calleigh didn't sound four anymore, but she wasn't even close to usual. Her accent barely colored words devoid of any inflection or emotion. "John pulled him out of a bar, which he didn't have to do considering how mean I was to him, but he did it so then I took Dad home. He had a stash in his room and came out swinging. I shouldn't have cried or tried to fight. I should be grateful that he loves me enough to try to make sure my incompetence doesn't hurt anyone else." Alexx turned her head away, wiping tears as Calleigh continued. "I cleaned up and came home, and John was waiting for me. He shouldn't still care this much after how I treated him, but he does. Daddy threw cologne at me and John smelled it and said he'd do better so I didn't think I have to cheat on him. I should be grateful. Alexx, if I wasn't so bad they wouldn't have to." Calleigh looked up at her rock, eyes wide and innocent. "I'm a bad girl, I'm so lucky to have him when I'm so bad."

"Calleigh, baby, do you remember Bella Kelly?"

"Of course. Bella's boyfriend raped and beat her every day. But we got him." Calleigh sounded more like herself when discussing a case, and suddenly sat bolt upright. "Did he get out? Cause I promised that girl I'd keep her safe…"

"No, baby. The bastard is still locked up. But Calleigh, how is it that Bella deserves that protection and you don't?"

Calleigh's hand immediately went to the cut above her eye. "Because Bella's a good person."

"Calleigh, think about all the people you've saved. You're one of the best people I know." Alexx cradled her as she thought about it.

"If John hurts me, he's not going to hurt anyone else. So if I take my punishment like a good girl when I deserve it I can protect people. And then maybe I'll be better so I won't need it anymore."

"It's not that simple sugar. When you're hurt, it hurts me, and Eric, and Speed, and Horatio."

A horrified look flashed through Calleigh's eyes as all her justification was ripped away. "Fuck."

Alexx had to laugh. Calleigh could swear with the best of them quite creatively, but the word combined with the look on her face was priceless. Alexx pulled the patchwork quilt around them both. "Can we go after Hagan?"

Calleigh sat up, staring straight into Alexx's eyes. "Hagan. Not my Daddy."

"Hagan," Alexx repeated. As Calleigh trembled in her arms, she called Horatio.