Two weeks later Fin could clearly see, or at least feel, the bump that was going to be a baby in less than five months. She hid it well at work though, kept her shirt outside her pants and she showed nothing of the slight backache and leg cramps Fin knew she was struggling with. Her appetite had picked up a lot but since she'd been underweight since the shooting it was only good for her as well as the baby. Fin learnt quickly to buy an extra portion when he brought food over since these days it was her stealing food from him and not the other way around.
Her sister had been in town for a visit over the weekend and he had left the two to themselves. They'd spent so much time together lately he actually felt a bit of withdrawal symptoms. He kept himself busy though, gone out with Ricky and the boys that he had neglected lately. Ricky had as usual asked about Amanda and Fin had let him know she was pregnant. His response had been 'shoot, then that ship has sailed'. Fin's friends knew nothing about him and Amanda and he kept it that way. When Monday came he came in earlier than usual and felt good as he saw Amanda at her desk. He felt even better once he saw her smile as she saw him walking in.
"How did the weekend with your sister go?" he asked as he put his jacket over his chair.
"Okay, wasn't as bad as anticipated," she let him know. She looked relaxed which was a good sign. In the past she'd been high strung whenever her sister was around.
"What did you do?"
"We went to the movies. She forced me to do some baby clothes shopping," she rolled her eyes as she shook her head. She was doing better with the bonding but she still was afraid she would jinx something if she planned too much a head.
"She still around?" he asked.
"Said goodbye this morning. She's leaving on a bus right before lunch. A friend set her up with some job back home so she needed to head back," she let him know.
"Can I stop by later then? See what hideous things she made you buy," he asked and she nodded.
"Sure," she felt like adding 'I missed you' but of course didn't. Liv and Nick walked in and got them back in work mode.
As usual they took their own separate cars to her place after shift to not raise suspicion. He took a detour to pick up some food from a favorite place of Amanda's. He let himself inside as he got to her place but found the kitchen empty. No plates or drinks on the table. He left the paper bag on the table and went further in to try and find her. He found her stretched out on her bed, one hand covering her eyes and the other one rubbing her stomach.
"Hey," he said quietly as he entered to let her know he was there in case she'd missed the front door opening. She moved her hand off her eyes and gave him a faint smile. He could tell she was pale though and the smile was strained. He walked up around the bed and got up beside her. He planted a kiss on her bare arm before he lay down next to her.
"Pain?" he asked and she made a face that tried to downplay it. By now though he knew that face.
"Is it your back again?" he asked and she nodded a little as she took a deep breath.
"And someone decided to start wiggling around to add to it," she sighed but with a tiny smile as she met his eyes. He smiled and looked down on her hand on her stomach. He let his hand go down her arm and then in underneath her hand. He entwined his fingers with hers and moved their hands slowly across her stomach. He stopped as he felt the baby move and he looked up at her with a big grin on his face. She sighed with a smile.
"Running a mile or something," she whispered.
"Like mother like daughter," he smiled and planted a kiss on her lips. They both felt the baby move again and both lips turned upwards still locked. He rose up as he started laughing.
"I've never felt her this much before," she whispered. The little girl she was carrying had made her presence known for some time now but never this strong. It literary felt like she was running on a treadmill in there. Fin kept searching for movement and Amanda enjoyed seeing his eyes pop every time he caught up to one of her kicks. She finally settled down though and Fin brought Amanda's hand up to his lips.
"You want a back massage?" he suggested. She seemed to think about it but then her scrunched nose let him know she decided against it.
"You're hungry!" he said and she smiled. It felt odd that he could read her without her having to say anything but she had to admit it felt good having someone around that got her instantly. She nodded.
"You wanna eat in here?"
"Nah, I better slobber at the table," she said and gave him a crocked smile. She didn't move immediately though but finally took a deep breath and made an attempt to get up. Fin helped her by putting his palm to her shoulder. She gave him a glare but couldn't keep a smile off her lips.
"Hey I'm not a whale yet," she said but couldn't sound annoyed.
"I know I know," he said and got up on his knees behind her, "I take any chance to put my hands on you though." He smiled as he wrapped his arms around her and got his lips to her neck as she tried to get away as she knew it would tickle her. She squirmed in his arms as he tasted her neck and he enjoyed hearing her contagious giggling as his facial hair tickled her sensitive skin. It was something else the pregnancy had brought on. She'd always had sensitive spots but lately it was like her entire skin was sensitive. And he knew how to take advantage of that. Right now though he was hungry too and instead of luring her back to bed he helped her up off it.
Amanda felt blessed that she'd so far had a rather easy pregnancy. She suffered only some slight backaches and the nightly leg cramps didn't interrupt her sleep that much. Most importantly she was still by the 23rd week not showing much. It was only her stomach that was expanding some but she could still easily hide it underneath her shirt. She was still very much an active part of the squad. Fin managed to treat her just the same at work while Cragen hovered a bit. She understood why, it was part of his job as a captain and he managed to do it in a way that didn't feel intrusive.
Olivia treated her just the same while Nick however had changed his tune drastically. She was used to throwing lip with him but he stepped off way too easily these days. For some reason though she didn't really mind and she worried this pregnancy was making her mature or something. But as she got more pregnant she would appreciate those small but kind gestures of his. He clearly had his wife's pregnancy still fresh in mind and seemed able to pick up on what stage in the pregnancy Amanda was at. Like the following week when all of a sudden that pregnancy brain that she'd read about hit her. Suddenly she couldn't find her car keys or misplaced papers for cases and interviews. It made her feel stupid and very much out of character.
"Are you coming?" Fin shouted from the gate as Amanda came back for a second time to her desk to get something she forgot.
"Yeah, yeah," she mumbled as she looked her desk over. Nick had watched them since the two partners first tried to leave the station to go interview a shop owner that employed their latest victim and their suspect. He knew Amanda was a very independent woman and she hated to get special treatment. She frowned at chivalry and she'd bit his head off more than once when he'd just tried to come to her aid in the past. But he'd missed that when she was gone from the squad room after her shooting. Since she'd been back, really back, he had to hide his amusement whenever he heard her sass on the street or tuff lip in the interrogation room. She was needed in their squad family. And he'd been happy but also intrigued when she'd announced she was pregnant. He was very curious of her private life but she rarely opened up. He'd met her sister only briefly and they seemed like total opposites. He knew he shouldn't be this curious about who got her pregnant but he couldn't stop wondering. And he knew exactly what was going on right now.
He'd watched her turn back for the file only to come back for her jacket. Now that she was back again he saw the file on the chair between her and Fin's desk. He got up of his chair and grabbed it. He handed it to her and she looked as though she felt caught doing something wrong.
"Don't worry okay, this is normal. It will last a while, the forgetfulness, but you'll be back to your old self with time," he gave her a little smile and dared to touch her arm.
"Can we get out of here?" Fin shouted from the gate. Amanda gave him a glare over her shoulder and then turned back to Nick. She gestured a little with the file.
"Thanks for this, and for…" she wasn't sure what to say but he got it and nodded. "Better run," she smiled and headed out.
Two weeks later she could no longer hide her growing belly. She tried her best but larger shirts just made her look even bigger and the summer heat wouldn't ease its grip so she couldn't hide under a fall jacket either. She didn't want to force Cragen to order her off the streets so she stepped into his office one day and told him she was ready. That didn't mean she had to like it though. They came to an arrangement that she would stop handling perps but she could still take witness statements and do door to door and things like that for a few more weeks. It made her feel a little bit better cause then she wouldn't be totally useless. She knew she was helpful with her computer skills but there was only so much information you could get electronically. She loved interrogating people, especially the sneaky ones.
Fin wasn't enjoying her pregnancy that much these days. And that was mostly because overnight she'd gone from sexy mama to 'touch me and you die'. They spent more time apart these days. She seemed to need her space and he hoped he read her right. He tried to ask in his own subtle way. Some days he sensed she had a rough night or was just a little out of balance and those days he forced himself on her even if she shot him down. He made sure she ate, tried to do whatever homeservice that was needed and made sure she got some rest anyway he was able to.
As she entered her third trimester she was bound to desk work whether she liked it or not. That was the deal she'd made with Cragen. Sitting at her desk she could fool an outsider cause it was still mostly her stomach that was expanding. Nothing on the face or arms. Fin noticed though that her breast size had increased some but it was probably not something anyone else spotted. Cragen had fixed her a more comfortable chair that she'd gladly accepted cause it did wonders for her back ache and sitting down in it she felt almost nothing of it. She was still a bit forgetful but made lists to make sure she got tasks done and just tried to focus hard and leave things in the same spot all the time so not to lose them.
She had some trouble with dizzy spells lately but it was never to the point she felt like she was fainting thankfully. Clumsiness was another unwelcomed guest. She tripped on her own feet and bumped in to things. She'd always had good control of her body so this was a hard one for her. And it made her cause a scene ever so often. Dropping her cup of iced tea made people turn their heads and come to her aid. The sound a chair made when she bumped into it, and even worse, the profanities that came out of her mouth when she hurt a toe or an elbow and she couldn't bite the sudden pain down. It all caused a scene and she hated it.
She appreciated though that the entire squad room tried their best to treat her just the same. It was almost as she suspected that Fin had threaten them all to just act normal around her. It was only common decency to help out when someone spilled or dropped papers on the ground. It was just that it so rarely happen to her and she felt like the biggest klutz ever. But the station was okay, she was safe there. On the outside though she ran into some nutty people who seemed to think her stomach was open territory.
Fin and Amanda had stopped for something to eat on the way over to her place. Amanda's truck had finally collapsed all together and Fin had talked her into getting a more sensible car now that she would have a young one to drive around too. She hadn't made up her mind just yet though and meanwhile Fin was her ride. After they'd eaten Fin had run across the street to buy some groceries for her. She was still drinking buck loads of milk and he didn't want her to carry heavy bags right now. She was going to wait in the car but since the baby kicked up a storm after the food she just had she paced the street a little with her one-cup-a-day cup of iced tea in her hand. As Fin came back he noticed an older man by her side and as he came up on the street he could see his hand was on her stomach. Amanda had a not so friendly smile on her face even though the man looked harmless. Fin saw her extend her hand to his round stomach and patted it as she said something. The man got a shocked look on his face and walked away quickly. Amanda turned to the car and it happen to be the same way Fin was coming from.
"What was that all about?" Fin asked. She shook her head and opened up the car door to get in. He tossed the grocery bag in the back seat and stepped into the driver's seat. He waited to turn the engine on though until she looked at him. He wouldn't drive until she talked and she knew it. She rolled her eyes, sighed and looked out the window.
"I'm just so bloody tired of people thinking they can rub your belly just cause they feel like it. I should bloody arrest their ass for groping," she hissed through clinched teeth. She looked over at him and wasn't pleased with the slight hint of amusement on his face.
"Common, they should bloody hell keep their hands off me," she complained and it sounded more like a whine this time around.
"What did you say to him?" he asked still with a slight smile on his face. She tried to keep a straight face but failed. She sighed and shook her head.
"He asked me when I was having my baby so I just asked him when he was having his," she told him. Fin chuckled as he started the engine.
"You're so bad," he laughed as he drove off.
Two days later she found a plain gift box on her desk.
"What's this?" she asked and looked at Fin who was sitting at his desk.
"Open it," he just said and she did once she realized he wasn't saying more. She got the box open and found a navy blue top in it and as she looked closer she saw the print on the front. She crumbled the top and looked over at him as she shook her head. Again she tried to keep a straight face but couldn't. Fin had a very content smile on his face.
"What is it?" Nick asked as he was curious and got up from his desk and took a few steps towards them.
"Common, show him," Fin urged. Amanda shook her head but then unfolded the top and held it up so both Nick and Liv could read the print. In bold white letters it was written across the stomach "Touch and I'll arrest your ss". Nick started laughing and Liv got a smile on her face. Fin got up off his chair and started telling them what happen the other day on the street with the older man.
"Classic Rollins," Nick said when Fin finished the story. Fin gave him knuckles and both men laughed a little more as they got back to their desks. Liv and Amanda exchanged looks before everyone got back to work.
A little later that day as their shift came to an end Liv walked in to the changing room to get something out of her locker. As she was doing that Amanda stepped out of the bathroom with her pants still only half done.
"Oh sorry, thought I was still alone," Amanda said. Liv just shot her a smile. Amanda walked over to her locker where her bag laid open in front of it. Amanda made a growling sound and Liv looked over.
"Getting tight?" Liv asked with a smile on her face as she could see Amanda struggling to get her pants buttoned up.
"Yeah," Amanda sighed and made one last attempt otherwise she'd just leave the button below her stomach open she'd decided. She made it and sat down with a sigh of relief. Liv shot her another smile and sat down too to put on a different pair of shoes.
"How is everything going with," Liv wasn't sure what to say and ended up gesturing a little towards her stomach. Amanda gave it a quick thought. This was the first time Liv had asked or talked to her about her pregnancy and she caught Amanda a little off guard.
"Well it's going according to plan I guess," Amanda made a mischievous face.
"It has its ups and downs. But I guess that's how it's supposed to be?" Amanda smiled.
"What's the downs?" Liv asked and stopped what she was doing to really listen to Amanda.
"The back aches, forgetfulness and the clumsiness I guess. But it's not that bad. It's a drag sitting behind the desk all the time though," Amanda let her know and Liv nodded.
"And the ups?" she asked and Amanda thought about it. Her hand unconsciously went to her stomach and Liv watched her rub it a little. Amanda wasn't sure how to say it and felt embarrassed as her eyes teared up a little. She shrugged her shoulders and tried a smile to cover her emotions up.
"It's gonna be a little person," she said a little more quiet, "and we'll have this bond. I hope," she added and shook her head a little.
"You will," Liv smiled. The room went quiet for a little while.
"How does it feel," Liv then suddenly started and after a slight hesitation continued; "to have a baby growing inside you?"
"Weird," Amanda answered spontaneously and both chuckled a little. Amanda got serious quickly though and said;
"It's amazing but terrifying." Liv stared her down, listening closely.
"You have no control. I mean you do what you can but it's moving along in there beyond your control and you can only hope she's doing okay. You feel bloated and uncomfortable and miserable one day and then feel bad for feeling sorry for yourself cause it's truly something amazing going on in there." She took a pause and shot Liv a look. She wasn't sure how personal she dared to get here or why Liv had asked her about her pregnancy. She decided to just wing it.
"I didn't realize I was pregnant you know. I guess I should have known but there was just so much going on after the shooting and all. And then when I found out I just pushed it a way a little I guess. It was too much to handle. Too messy. And I feel bad now for ever thinking I didn't want her here. In my life." Liv nodded. She didn't have to say anything, Amanda felt she understood.
"And now I just want to meet her. Hold her. Protect her. But I'm still terrified," she let out a chuckle, "with my fucked up family I'm just afraid I'll screw her up too."
"You won't," Liv whispered. Amanda shot her an appreciating smile. Amanda suddenly just froze and Liv noticed.
"What?" Liv asked. Amanda smiled a little with her eyes somewhere far off.
"That weird part I told you about," she said and managed to focus her eyes on Liv again. Liv nodded.
"She gets hiccups. It's the weirdest thing to feel that inside you," Amanda smiled.
"She has them right now?" Liv asked and it was Amanda's turn to nod.
"You wanna feel it?" Amanda asked. Liv immediately sat up but then hesitated.
"You won't arrest me will you?" Amanda chuckled and shook her head. She grabbed Liv's hand as she extended it and she placed it to the left of her stomach. She placed her hand above Liv's and pushed it down. It was Liv's turn to gaze into nothing and as soon as she felt the tiny hiccups going on inside Amanda her smile grew wider.
"Weird eh?" Amanda whispered.
"Really weird," Liv smiled. It continued for several minutes and they just sat there, both of them feeling it in different ways. Once the baby girl finally came to rest again Amanda let go off Liv's hand so she could have it back.
"Amazing," Liv smiled.
Hormones hadn't been that much of a problem for Amanda so far in the pregnancy but Fin started to worry they began to get to his partner more and more. Fin saw her put on a strong face at work but knew that wasn't how she felt most days. This was one of those days. One of those days when he could see the small cracks on her face. He figured it might have something to do with the case they were working. It involved a young girl who'd gotten abused for a while and it looked to be a teachers aid. The young girl hadn't been able to give a useable statement. The girl's mother, a single hard working mother, was devastated and blamed herself for not noticing it sooner. Amanda had stayed with the little girl in the interview room while Liv and Nick talked to the mother in one of the interrogation rooms. Fin meanwhile tried to locate the teachers aid who seemed to have gone in to hiding. Fin had been out most of the day and once he finally came back in – without the suspect unfortunately – Liv let him know that the little girl had opened up a lot to Amanda and there were no longer any doubts that they were after the right suspect. Liv added that Amanda had gone home looking a bit gloomy. He tried calling her but only got her voicemail so he decided to head over there.
He found her apartment quiet and unlit and her on top of her bedcover. She was curled up in a fetal position. A position he knew worked best to ease her back pains.
"Hey," he whispered and let his hand sneak up her spine underneath her top. She squirmed away from him quickly though.
"Don't," she whined. He knew better than to take it personal and instead walked around the bed and climbed up in front of her. He reached up to the bed stand and put the light on so he could see her better. She let out a string of sounds that let him know she didn't like it and she covered her eyes with her hand. He laid down in front of her, with space to not crowd her. He put his head in his hand and just waited for her. It took a while but then finally at least her hand came down off her eyes. She kept her eyes closed though. He kept watching her and fought hard to not reach out and touch her face. He'd never got the whole 'pregnant women are glowing' until now. She truly was glowing even now that her face scrunched up. She could feel his eyes on her and she didn't like it.
"Common tell me what's wrong?" he asked her. She squirmed a bit, feeling frustrated.
"Nothing's wrong. I just want to sleep," she complained.
"I don't believe you," he said frankly. She opened her eyes but closed them shut quickly as the light hurt them.
"Why can't you stop bugging me," she sighed and got back into her fetal position. She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt tears burning behind them. He moved his hand down to the space between them to get as close to her as possible without actually touching her. He couldn't stay off her though and soon his finger just barely stroke her arm.
"Please talk to me," he begged. It was something very uncommon for him, to beg her to talk. Right now though it didn't feel weird.
"I'm just having a bad day," she whispered and sounded more sad than whiny.
"And that's okay. You are allowed to have a bad day you know."
"So why don't you just leave me alone then?" The whiny was back in her voice again.
"Cause sometimes it helps to talk." He found a freckle on her arm that he drew a circle around with his finger.
"No. You won't get it," she complained.
"Won't know that until you tell me now do you?"
Her body was aching and she tried rearranging her body to find a more comfortable spot but nothing felt comfortable right now.
"Tell me," he begged again when she just kept squirming. She peeked up at him but then pinched her face back together again.
"No, you'll just bug me," she whined as she tried again to find a comfortable position to ease her discomfort. Fin sighed loudly. He watch her keep squirming for several minutes, at times peeking up at him with an annoyed look on her face.
He got she was tired and cranky and why she was that way but he wasn't known for having that much patience.
"Tell me," he said and now sounded a bit whiny too. She looked up at him with sulky lips and he waited for her to tell him whatever was going on inside that cute head of hers.
"I'm fat," she whispered. His face dropped immediately. When she looked at him and saw his face she started growling slightly.
"You do know you're pregnant right?" he said with a raised eyebrow. She growled again a little louder.
"You have another person in there you know. Or maybe it really is ET in there and it's making all sorts of experiments on you, making you fat and all," he over pronounced fat. She tried to hit him, hard, but it became just a girly pitiful slap and she felt even more useless. He backed off since he could see joking didn't ease her pain right now.
Something else was going on here. He grabbed her wrist gently and just held on to her until she finally met his eyes again.
"Tell me," he whispered.
"She called me fat," she said so quietly he could barely hear her.
"Hannah?" he asked and she nodded. It was the girl from their investigation.
"I told her I had a baby in there. She said she knew where babies came from. That it wasn't a stork. And she asked me if she was going to have a baby now too." Amanda bit down on her lip so hard it lost some color. Fin let go off his grip around her wrist and started stroking her arm.
"No don't," she whined and pulled her arm away from him. His hand was left stranded on the cover between them. He watched her pinch her eyes closed and a tear escaped from one of them.
"We're gonna get him Amanda. And he'll pay for what he did."
"It won't help her. What he put her through, that will never go away." She opened her eyes but kept them away from him.
"It won't but you got her talking. And with help and more talking she has a fair chance now. And it does help to get the perp. Getting him to own up to what he did and make him pay. That will help her," Fin got her attention and for a few seconds she seemed to drift off somewhere else. She took a breath and came back to present. He noticed her hand go down to her stomach.
"Nothing can happen to her," she said once his eyes came back up to hers again.
"It won't, we got her," he said with that voice that could make her believe anything. He wanted to touch her but didn't dare too. She closed her eyes again. This time her face looked calm though. He figured she was falling asleep but then suddenly she started to roll over. He watched her tummy as she came over on her back and he smiled once he saw that cute bellybutton of hers. He'd teased her about it once he'd first seen that it had turned into an outie, he learnt that lesson though and wouldn't mention it again. He still found it cute though. She turned her back to him and he felt a sting of disappointment until she then slowly started to make her way backwards to him. He moved his hand so she could get all the way over to him. He saw her hand come up and he extended his and let her place his arm where she wanted it. She snuggled in a little closer to him and rearranged herself and his arm a few times until she finally seemed to find a spot that suited her. He put down his other hand and placed his head right behind hers on the bed. He stroke down some of her hair on the bed and came in a little closer.
"Smell me and I'll kill you," came her sleepy voice as she knew exactly what he was up to. He loved burying his face in her hair and inhale her scent. She felt his body chuckle next to hers right before she fell into a well needed slumber.
Another few weeks passed by and by week 33 she was starting to find it unbelievable that she could, and would, get even bigger. But she knew she was still small in comparison to other moms-to-be. She still had trouble with forgetfulness and the clumsiness was tiresome. Sometimes even dangerous. One day she slipped on the stairs to the station and was lucky she was able to grab the railing or those last three stone steps could have caused some serious injury. She wasn't sleeping well either, bathroom runs and leg cramps disturbed her sleep. Braxton hicks contractions bugged her too. They came during the most inconvenient times, like when they had a table gathering and the only thing that seemed to help was to stand up and she always got eyes on her when doing that. Nick knew what was going on and later gave her a tip that had helped his wife.
With the help of Fin she had started to get her apartment ready for the baby. They'd bought some of the basic stuff you needed and a few basic clothing. A crib had been bought but still stood undone in her bedroom. She had to admit it was sorta fun to look at baby stuff. And Fin didn't seem to mind that much. Amanda also enjoyed that store clerks probably figured they were a real couple but it also made her a bit sad that she couldn't just touch him a little out in public. Show some of that affection she felt for him. But she knew it was too dangerous. If she bent the rule just a little it was so easy to slip at work and that couldn't happen.
He'd gone with her to an ob/gyn appointment though. He'd been like a fish out of water in that examination room. Amanda had fun watching him stir in his chair. They'd talked about him being in the delivery room and when she told doctor Sandra she'd asked to meet him. Fin had been on a case when Ken was born and missed his birth so this would be a first for him. Ally gave him some material to read and she suggested they got busy with some childbirth classes straight away. Amanda had a hard time picturing the two of them in a class like that but sure enough next week they attended their first one. She had the hardest time keeping a straight face cause Fin looked like he was going to faint when their teacher showed them some images on a screen. They were both too immature to be there and at one point Amanda thought the teacher would throw them out. It was good though, she needed that laugh. They both wowed to each other that they would act a little better on the next class. This was something she needed to do with some distance though cause to be honest the birth freaked her out a little. She could handle the pain she figured but the responsibility that came once it was over scared the hell out of her.
So far they'd met Ken & Alejandro twice for dinner and Teresa had made Ken call Amanda to make sure she came from Thanksgiving this year just as last year. Amanda was looking forward to it but also somewhat nervous. It was still a few weeks away thankfully. Ken had called his dad though early that week and asked if he could see them one of these evenings, Fin figured he had a gift for Amanda or the baby. They'd set it up for the following Thursday but then Cragen had ordered Fin and Nick to drive up to Auburn correctional facility to interview an inmate that had information on a case they were working. It was at least a four hour drive one way and if the interview ran late she might have to meet Ken on her own. That made her feel nervous for some reason.
Amanda hadn't slept well that night. Crazy dreams had haunted her, the baby had moved around a lot and to add to it she had to make three bathroom runs during the night. She didn't feel rested at all when the alarm clock rang and came in tired to the station. She'd felt dizzy as she got up out of bed which wasn't that uncommon but it had lingered a bit longer than usual and the shower this morning had taken extra time just because of that. Through a text from Liv she learnt Liv and Cragen started their day over at court and a meeting with Barba so at least no one caught her coming in late. She knew Fin and Amaro had made a very early start this morning and she texted Fin to see where they were at. He soon texted back that they weren't even on the highway yet. His text was short but oozed of boredom. She still felt a sting of envy though, she would have loved to do that interview. There was something so intriguing about prisons, being locked in and what that did to the human psyche. Just one of many fascinations she had.
Liv had left her a few leads to follow up on Amanda's desk and she sat down to get going. She felt oddly unfocused though. The baby had finally settled down but this rhythmic lower back pain had taken over and it didn't ease up as she sat. She felt happy when Munch suddenly walked in, he'd more or less transferred to cold case by now and she missed him. They all did and Munch seemed to miss them some too because he looked sad to find the squad room almost empty. He probably sensed she was feeling lonely and he stayed put for a while to keep her company. He got an update on how the baby and mother-to-be were doing and then she listen to some of his stories from the long, dark corridors of cold case.
Soon she was alone again though and she had to make a bathroom run. She still felt dizzy and even a bit nauseous. She felt a bit better once back at her desk and she dove into the work she had at hand. She managed to get deep in it and only popped her head back up as she got a text. It was Fin and it simply read "Eat". She checked the clock and realized it was time for lunch. She usually got very hungry even before it was mealtime but apparently not today. She texted him back with a little white lie that she was already on it and added a question if they were at the prison yet. He texted back soon to let her know they'd stopped for lunch and had about an hour left. Traffic out had been really bad apparently and they were running late. She decided to go out for some lunch but had to do a bathroom run first. As she was trying to walk more than waddle across the parking lot her phone rang.
"You checking up on me?" she answered with as she saw who was calling.
"I don't hear chewing," he said. She didn't care that he sounded overbearing, she just liked hearing Fin's voice.
"Done chewing, waddling back to the station as we speak," she said.
"You don't waddle, I don't know why you think that," he sighed.
"You done with lunch too?" she said and sat down on the brick wall out on the street outside the station. Her back was killing her today.
"Yeah, Amaro's on the can. He's worse than you, we had to stop twice on the way. You think he's pregnant?" Amanda chuckled. On his side, Fin smiled. He liked to hear her chuckle.
"What did you eat?" he asked and Amanda tried to think fast but she had pregnancy brain and she was blank.
"Why did you lie to me?" he asked.
"I didn't, I'm just running late. Everything takes so much damn time that's all. I'm still on my way out you know but then I had to hit the can and then I forgot my money and well I'm on my way now okay?" she vented. She needed that and took a deep breath. She didn't like the silence on the other side of the line though.
"You don't have to lie to me though you know?" he said and she got tears in her eyes and she cursed her hormones.
"Amanda?" he asked when he got no answer.
"Yeah. And I know," she said and managed to keep her voice under control.
"There's still a chance I'll make dinner tonight okay."
"Okay."
"Okay, pregnant man is back, gotta skip," Fin let her know.
"Okay, see you later."
"Later," Fin said and hung up.
She put her phone down but just stayed put a while. She didn't notice that Liv drove by. Liv saw her though and after she'd parked her car she came back out to see if she was still there. And she was.
"Amanda, you okay?" she asked and made her jump.
"Oh I'm so sorry," Liv smiled and took a few steps closer. Amanda shook her head.
"Don't worry I was just a thousand miles away," she felt embarrassed.
"You feeling okay?" Liv asked with concern in her voice. Amanda nodded.
"I'm on my way to get some lunch, and the phone just rang," she tried to excuse herself.
"You want me to get you some lunch?" Liv asked.
"You've eaten?" Amanda asked and Liv nodded.
"We ate over at the court," she let her know and Amanda knew she was just offering to help and even though Amanda knew it was a kind gesture she didn't want special treatment.
"No, I need the air. I'm just going across the street," Amanda said and got up. Of course a shooting pain had to emerge right then and Amanda couldn't help put pinch her face.
"You sure you're okay?" Liv asked and put her hand briefly on Amanda's elbow.
"Yeah yeah, just the joys of being bloated," Amanda tried to keep her voice light and started to walk through the pain. She figured maybe she ought to tell someone about the pain but then again it was probably nothing. She told herself lunch would fix it.
Back at the station she had to use the bathroom again. Liv was at her desk but Cragen had continued to another meeting Liv informed her. Amanda felt Liv watching her and she tried to not show how much her back was hurting her. Soon though she had to visit the bathroom yet again and as she was walking back to her desk she felt another sharp pain through her stomach and she grabbed on to the wall as the other hand grabbed around her belly. She took a few breaths as the pain subsided. She still felt stings all around her stomach though. The door to the bunks was right across the hall and she managed to slowly walk over there. She was happy to find the room empty. She sat down on the first bunk as another sharp pain shot through her stomach. Okay so she probably needed to check this out she told herself. She figured Fin was probably at the prison by now and she couldn't call him. She knew she had a high threshold for pain so she knew this pain was severe since she had to sit down. She waited as another sharp pain subsided and then made herself get back over to the door. She got the door open and hung on to the door frame as she took a step out in the hall.
"Liv?" she tried calling out but her voice didn't reach all the way to Liv at her desk. Amanda took a deep breath and tried again a little bit louder. This time Liv looked up but looked towards the gate as she thought the sound came from there. Finally her eyes reached Amanda down the hallway. Liv could tell by the way she was hunched over and holding on to her belly that something was wrong and she rushed over to her. Amanda retracted back into the bunks as she felt like she needed to sit down again.
"What's going on?" Liv said and kneelt down in front of her.
"I'm not sure but there's this shooting pain in my stomach," Amanda let her know. Liv could tell she wasn't doing all that good, she was pale and her forehead looked clammed.
"Did you have this pain out on the street earlier?" she asked and Amanda thought about it but knew this wasn't the right time to act stoic. She still shook her head though.
"It wasn't the same kind of pain. Earlier it was like light and rhythmic, now it's killing me," Amanda tried to explain.
"Are you in labor?" Liv asked and could tell the question worried Amanda.
"I'm not do yet," Amanda's lower lip started to tremble as she felt a wave of fear wash over her.
"It's going to be fine Amanda," Liv smiled at her: "Let's just get you to the hospital to make sure okay?" Amanda nodded.
"Can I take you or do you want me to call an ambulance?" Liv asked.
"No ambulance please," Amanda felt embarrassed enough as it was.
"Okay I'll drive you then. Let's get you downstairs okay?" Liv tried to hide her own worry with a smile. She got up off the floor and lent Amanda a hand to get her upright.
"Take your time," Liv said as she put her arm underneath Amanda's and helped her out of there.
"Do you need something off your desk?" Liv asked once they reached the squad room.
"My jacket I guess and my phone," Amanda said through deep breathing.
"Okay, I'll get it. You want to sit down?" Liv asked but Amanda shook her head. Liv got to her desk first and got her own stuff. She then got over to Amanda's desk and grabbed her things. Meanwhile Amanda tried to slowly make her way to the gate on her own. It felt like her gut was pressing down and making it hard for her to walk though. Liv caught up to her and told the uniform at the desk by the gate to let Cragen knew they were taking Amanda to the hospital. The uniform asked if he could help but Amanda shook him off. They managed to make their way downstairs. Amanda tried to act as nonchalant as ever in the elevator since they weren't alone but Liv could tell she was in pain. After a short break right inside the entrance they got out on the pavement. Liv asked if she should just pull the car out but Amanda insisted on going with her to the parking lot. Liv knew it was better to just have her way than to increase her anxiety level by fighting with her.
"Do you want me to call someone?" Liv asked as they slowly walked over the pavement.
"No, I'm sure this is nothing," Amanda said as calmly as possible. Liv got the passenger door open for her and made sure she got in properly. She wasn't that big but it was obvious that something, pain perhaps, were preventing her from moving around much right now. Liv rushed around the car and got in.
"Okay we're off," Liv had already asked on their way down which hospital and she'd already figured out the fastest route in her head. It was quite a lot of traffic out and Liv got stressed but tried not to show it. Liv had asked if they should use the lights but Amanda said no. Amanda was moving her hand around a sore spot in her belly and tried to keep her heavy breathing in check.
"When are you do?" Liv finally dared to ask.
"I just reached 34 weeks," Amanda said and shot Liv a worried look.
"You'll be fine," Liv said and gave her the most comfortable smile she could right now.
"Do you have someone that's supposed to be with you doing labor?" Liv asked as they waited for a red light to turn.
"Fin," Amanda confessed, "I mean he's offered but I hadn't really decided yet."
"You want me to call him just to be on the safe side?" Amanda shook her head immediately.
"He's probably at the prison by now. We shouldn't bother them," she said and had to turn her head away as another sharp pain shot through her stomach.
"You okay?" Liv asked though as she'd picked up on the gap in Amanda's breathing. Amanda tried to nod. They'd started moving again but Liv reached out and put her hand on Amanda's arm.
"This is not the time to act brave Amanda, tell me," Liv asked with her eyes going back and forth between Amanda and the road. When Amanda finally turned her head Liv picked up on her teary eyes. Liv rubbed her arm a little.
"Do you think you're in labor Amanda?" Liv asked seriously but with comfort in her tone.
"I don't know. I just know something is wrong," Amanda's lower lip trembled visible now.
"It's going to be fine okay. It's gonna be fine," Liv squeezed her arm one last time before she had to switch grip on her wheel so she could put the light up in the window to get them faster to the hospital. With the blue light speed picked up and they soon reached the hospital. Liv took the closest lot she could find to the emergency entrance. She ran around the car as she'd parked and got around to help Amanda get up out off her seat. As soon as they got inside the emergency doors a nurse spotted them and came forward.
"She's 34 weeks pregnant and something's up," Liv told the bright eyed nurse.
"We'll get that sorted out don't you worry. What's your name?" the nurse turned her attention to Amanda as she came up on her other side and helped them further in.
"Amanda," she said.
"Okay Amanda, welcome. How's your breathing?"
"A bit strained," she let the nurse know.
"And how's the pain level?"
"Up there somewhere," Amanda tried a smile at the nurse, she smiled back. Another nurse came rushing towards them with a wheelchair and Liv stepped away from Amanda as the two nurses helped her sit down. Liv followed them to the check-in desk and listen in on the questions the nurse kept hammering Amanda with. All of them of course to try and figure out what was going on. A third nurse came around with a portable oxygen tank and a breathing mask that she told Amanda to breathe into. Liv was always impressed how doctors and nurses just kept appearing with things out of nowhere without anything being said. Like they had a sixth sense what was needed. A nurse checked her blood pressure while another one put a temp in her ear. Everything was noted down on a piece of paper that later would hang on the back of Amanda's wheelchair.
"Is your doctor in this hospital?" the nurse asked and Amanda nodded. She removed the oxygen mask and said:
"Levitt, Sandra Levitt." The nurse nodded as she recognized the doctor's name. Amanda had briefly put the oxygen mask back on but then removed it again.
"I haven't felt her in a while," she said nervously and the nurse immediately squatted down by her side to hear what she said.
"I haven't felt her," she said and put her hand to her belly so the nurse would understand who she was talking about. The nurse got her stethoscope out of her big coat pocket and put them on herself.
"May I?" she asked for permission before she reached in underneath Amanda's top with the diaphragm of the stethoscope. Liv saw her move around a bit underneath there and she saw Amanda's worried face. Liv figured she had about the same worried face at her colleague. Then the nurse called out a name calmly and the other nurse took the ear tips out of the nurse's ears and carefully put them in Amanda's instead while the first nurse held the diaphragm steady.
"You hear that? Strong and steady," the nurse said with a big smile on her face. Liv's face brighten just as much as Amanda's with the news. The nurse let Amanda listen a while longer to her baby's heartbeat since it had a calming effect on her but then they had to take her upstairs. Liv helped pull the oxygen tank so the nurse could take Amanda and then they headed to the elevators. As soon as they got out of the elevator a doctor and a nurse who was waiting at a desk down the hall came walking up to them. They both had friendly smiles on their faces.
"So she doesn't feel like waiting any longer now does she?" the doctor smiled and touched Amanda's leg as Amanda was busy holding on to the oxygen mask.
"Hi I'm Sandra," the doctor said and extended her hand to Liv who took it and introduced herself and her affiliation to Amanda.
"And this is Abby," Sandra said and gestured to the nurse who was now taking over Amanda's wheelchair. Abby nodded to Liv who nodded back.
"Thank you. Hope you get a calm evening," the doctor wished the nurse who'd put a hand on Amanda's shoulder and wished her good luck.
"Don't we always," the nurse told the doctor as she got back into the elevator to go downstairs to a surely intense evening shift.
"So let's get you two checked over. Find out what's going on right," Sandra said and led the way down the hall.
"Can you do without it for a bit?" Sandra asked about the breathing mask as they got inside a room and they wanted to move Amanda over to a table. Amanda nodded and let go of it. The nurse brought it over to the side.
"Let's get you into a gown first," Sandra suggested and the nurse was quickly on it. Liv thought about asking Amanda if she should wait out in the hall for a while but she didn't get the chance before Abby had pulled Amanda's top over her head. Liv tried not to stare but she'd always had a hard time looking away whenever she saw a pregnant belly. She figured it had something to do with her own want of carrying one around. And as she saw Amanda's, with tape across the scar on her lower half, it dawn on Liv just how recent it was Amanda was in this hospital fighting for her life. And now here she was giving life. Such a blessed turned of events Liv thought to herself.
She couldn't help but look at the scar between Amanda's breasts too. It wasn't covered with tape and you could see just how wide it was and even where the bigger staples had been. Amanda looked beautiful even with the scar or maybe even because of her scars. It just made her look like a warrior, a fighter, and Liv had always admired women who fought through battles. She was caught looking by Amanda's eyes but Liv just gave her a comforting smile and Amanda gave her a shy one back as the nurse covered her with the gown. Liv stepped in and helped the nurse with Amanda's shoes seeing how the doctor had turned her attention to the sheet on Amanda's wheelchair. Liv took Amanda's boots to the side and let them be as the nurse undressed her completely. She then came back when it was time to get Amanda up on the table. Liv couldn't help but smile as she helped her colleague up. She'd seen Amanda's stomach grow in the squad room but she'd never seemed just as pregnant as right now.
"Okay, let's see what's going on then Amanda," the doctor said and dragged a low chair to the end of her bed.
"Let's get a monitor on the baby Abby," she said and the nurse nodded. A second nurse walked in.
"You remember Genevieve Amanda?" the doctor asked and Amanda nodded as the new but older nurse walked up to her and squeezed her arm gently.
"Ginny meet another detective. Olivia Benson," the doctor said as she carried on with hers and the nurse gave Liv just as a bright smile as she'd just shot Amanda. This was the type of nurse you always wanted with you in crisis Liv thought to herself. She had that old school, kind but assertive vibe around her.
"So two of NYPD finest in one room then, I feel safer already," Ginny said and looked back at Amanda as she put a warm hand on her cheek briefly. Briefly because Abby handed Amanda a new more petite breathing mask compared to the first one. Ginny helped Abby uncover Amanda's stomach and they strapped a gadget around her. Abby hooked it up to a machine and soon they saw and heard what Liv thought was the baby's heart rhythm.
"You want us to hook her up too?" Ginny asked but Sandra told them to let her check her out first and just put a clamp on her finger in the meantime.
"Baby's looking good Amanda, you don't have to worry about her okay?" Sandra let Amanda know before she asked Amanda to put her legs up in the stirrups and the nurses helped her out. Liv stayed by the wall at Amanda's head to give Amanda some privacy. Liv watched the doctors face though as she probed and examined. Ginny held a hand on the side of Amanda's head while Abby was over at the counter prepping some other stuff Liv imagined.
"Okay Amanda," Sandra said not long after as she removed her gloves: "You're in labor." Ginny helped the doctor get Amanda's legs out of the stirrups for now and Ginny folded them down as Sandra stepped up to Amanda's side.
"Not to worry okay. We're going to try and prevent it okay, give you some medicine," Sandra smiled at Amanda and then turned briefly to Abby and gave her some dosage of a medicine she wanted her to give Amanda. She then turned to Ginny and asked her to hook Amanda up to a bag of fluids too. Sandra then turned back to Amanda.
"We're going to do an ultra sound and see what's going on in there. If you're too far down to stop it it's okay. You've reached 34 and we see perfectly healthy babies here even earlier than that," Sandra grabbed Amanda's hand. Liv couldn't see Amanda's face but imagined she felt probably even more anxious than Liv felt by this news. Abby pulled out the ultra sound machine and Sandra got a new set of gloves on as Abby prepped it. Ginny open the gown and exposed Amanda's belly again. Sandra got to work and soon got a clear picture on the monitor that stood to the side of the bed.
"Yeah as I expected. A full turn. This is good though, then at least we don't have to turn her for you," Sandra said and Liv watched the monitor closely. A perfect little being. It brought tears to Liv's eyes and she was somewhat disappointed when the monitor went black.
"Okay Amanda we're going to hook you up to all sorts of machines okay. But you've had it worse right," she was hinting to her last stint at this very same hospital. Sandra had grabbed Amanda's hand and didn't let it go as she turned to her nurses: "Let's alert NICU Abby and let's start antibiotics. Do GBS too. And will you draw some blood Ginny?" the nurses got busy. Liv stepped up on Amanda's other side as Sandra called her over.
"Just to be prepared for all scenarios, the last time I saw you you hadn't really settled on the birthing partner. Have you had time to think it over?" Sandra asked with a smile. Amanda's eyes came over to Liv's side of the bed.
"You want me to call Fin?" Liv asked and it didn't take long until Amanda nodded.
"How long does he have to get here? I mean when do you think…" Liv directed her question to the doctor.
"I'm afraid that's impossible to say, hopefully the medicine will work but if not it can go fast," the doctor informed both of them.
"Okay he's on a drive just out of the city but I'm sure he'll get a jet to get him over here in time if it's necessary," Liv said and smiled since she thought it to be true.
"I'll slip out in the hall and call him," Liv said and squeezed Amanda's shoulder before she left.
She realized how sweaty her palms were as she got the phone up out of her pocket. She wiped them on her pants and then dialed Fin. It got to voicemail after the first ring and it dawn on her he might be inside the prison and probably didn't have his phone with him. She didn't want to worry him and since she didn't trust her own voice she hung up. She sent him a text asking him to phone her back as soon as he was able to. She thought about calling Cragen and getting his help to reach Fin inside the prison but thought that maybe was a bit extreme and went back inside instead. Ginny was drawing blood from Amanda's arm as she got back in and Abby was putting monitors on Amanda's chest that was hooked up to a machine. Sandra was over at the counter filling in some chart. Amanda met Liv's eyes as she got back.
"I couldn't reach him but I sent him a text to call back okay," Liv said and Amanda nodded with a bit of disappointment over her face. Sandra came over to the table to let Amanda know she'd step out for a moment but Abby or Ginny would stay with her the entire time so she didn't need to worry and she wouldn't be far away. Ginny stepped out too to get Amanda's blood down to the laboratory.
"Can I get you anything? Something to drink maybe?" Abby asked.
"Some water would be good thanks," Amanda said with some strain to her voice. Liv stepped closer to the bed as Abby was getting a cup from the cabinet. Liv rubbed Amanda's arm gently. Amanda smiled shyly and tried to sit up a little.
"How you holding up?" Liv asked. Amanda wasn't sure how to answer. She really wasn't feeling that hot. Her entire body was aching it felt like and she did her best to just swallow the anxiety that was threatening to take over if she let it. And she felt embarrassed for not realizing sooner she was in labor and having put Liv through all of this hassle. She shrugged her shoulders as she tried to brush a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. She suddenly felt very self-conscious, wondered how she looked in Liv's eyes. She was about to say something about Liv not having to be there when she suddenly felt the room get very blurry.
Liv still had her hand on Amanda's arm when her eyes suddenly rolled back into her head.
"Amanda?" Liv yelled a little. Abby dropped the cup in the sink as she was just filling it and came rushing over. Abby started to lower the bed as she checked the monitors.
"Stats looks good," Liv heard Abby say but Amanda had still fainted which couldn't be good. Abby put her fingers on Amanda's throat to find her pulse just to make sure the monitor wasn't lying and Liv saw her push the alarm button above her bed which wasn't a good sign either.
"What's happening?" Liv asked not being able to just stand by. She realized she'd grabbed Amanda's hand and was now holding on to the limb hand.
"I'm not sure but pulse is steady. Can you help me roll her over to your side?" Abby came around and together they carefully rolled Amanda over to her left side. Liv let Abby past so she could grab the oxygen mask and she placed it over her mouth as another nurse came running in. Liv stepped down to Amanda's feet so not to be in her way. The new nurse seemed to know exactly what to do. She called out Amanda's name and checked her eyes with a light.
"Is Sandra coming?" Abby asked and got a nod from the new nurse. Liv felt useless just standing there but didn't want to be in the way. Once Sandra came running in Liv felt a bit of relief.
"What happen?" she asked as she got her stethoscope on.
"Her eyes just rolled back as she was about to say something," Liv raised her voice.
"Amanda, can you hear me?" Sandra asked as she too checked her eyes. Sandra looked back up at Liv.
"I think she just passed out once she relaxed a bit. It's not common but I've known it to happen. Vitals look fine and the baby as well. Maybe the blood test will show something but I'm fairly sure it's just the strain of the moment," Sandra smiled a little at Liv, "we've put her on her left side to get blood to her heart and with the oxygen I'm sure she'll come back soon. Speaking of, hello there." Sandra looked down at Amanda who stirred a bit on the table.
"No, just stay down for a bit Amanda, you passed out," Sandra said and put a hand on her arm when she tried to move.
If Amanda hadn't felt awkward enough to start with now she felt really awkward. Once the room settled down again and Abby got her some well needed water Liv let Amanda knew she would try and get a hold of Fin again. She walked out in to the corridor and checked her phone. One missed call from the captain. She dialed Fin but again got no answer. She dialed Cragen and he picked up immediately.
"What's going on?" Cragen asked quickly as he answered.
"She's having her baby and I can't get a hold of Fin," Liv said without fuss.
"They should be out by now," Cragen said after he'd checked his watch.
"He's not picking up though and I've texted him," Liv explained. She heard Cragen sigh deeply.
"How is she doing?" he asked.
"I'm not sure. Okay I guess. But she's only 34 weeks and it looks as it can get complicated." Liv felt in unnecessary to mention she'd fainted and the somewhat private information about her uterus and all.
"Will you stay with her?" Cragen asked and Liv's answer came quickly.
"Of course." They decided Cragen would try and get a hold of Fin too. Liv walked back in to find Amanda looking a bit more alert again. Liv could feel Amanda's eyes looking for her and any information on Fin so Liv shook her head slightly as she walked up to her.
"Still can't get a hold of him but I talked to Cragen and he'll try on his end too," Liv informed her. Amanda looked disappointed again but nodded.
"How are you feeling?" Liv said and gently put her hand over Amanda's which was resting on the bed next to her head. She felt really warm under Liv's touch. Amanda removed the oxygen mask that she was holding to her face with her other hand and cleared her throat a little before she spoke.
"Embarrassed as hell," she admitted and Liv smiled.
"Don't be. You're in labor for Christ sake. For once you're allowed to raise hell without anyone making eyes at you," Liv tried to make her feel more at ease. Amanda appreciated it but still felt uncomfortable. Liv put the back of her fingers against Amanda's temple.
"You feel warm," Liv stated.
"She's running a slight fever. It's normal," Abby said as she'd overheard Liv.
"We can get you a wet cloth for your forehead, most women says it helps a little," Abby suggested and Amanda took her up on her offer. Liv grabbed the cloth from Abby when she came back with it and held it against Amanda's forehead. Sandra had been over by the computer on the counter for a while but now came over.
"Amanda, your blood test shows you're running low on red blood cells so that's probably why you fainted. You still feel dizzy?" the doctor asked. Liv removed the cloth so Amanda could look up.
"No, not dizzy," Amanda started.
"Something else?" Sandra had started to get to know Amanda during these last months and she could hear a question was hanging in the air.
"Well," Amanda started and you could hear she was out of breath, "there's this pain in my… lower regions." Liv could tell she felt uncomfortable asking about it.
"It's your pelvic Amanda. Your body, your baby, wants to go through natural birth. It's a good sign even if it's a little too soon. Hopefully it will ease though. Is the pain too much to handle though?" Sandra had stepped around to Liv's side so it would be easier for Amanda to look at her without having to keep her head up. Amanda immediately shook her head.
"You sure about that?" Sandra asked to make sure and Amanda nodded with a smile visible underneath her oxygen mask. Sandra reached out and stroked her arm kindly.
"Well you let us know if it gets too much. I know you can take a lot but there's nothing wrong with easing the pain if we can," Sandra ended with a pat on her hand and then excused herself again and headed out. Liv put the cloth at the back of Amanda's neck for a while and she could see by the way Amanda closed her eyes that it felt good. Liv used the cloth to wipe away some hair from her face and then went over to run some fresh water through it. Abby was the only nurse still in the room now and she pushed around the doctors stool for Liv to sit on. Liv thanked her and had a seat after she'd placed the cloth back on Amanda's forehead.
"Thanks," Amanda said through the oxygen mask.
"Feels good eh?" Liv smiled and Amanda nodded. Liv had a look around at all the machines and stuff around her bed.
"Not as much gadgets as after your shooting but almost," Liv smiled. She could see Amanda smiled too. Amanda would soon drift off to sleep and Abby whispered it was good for her.
Liv took the time to check her phone and noticed she had three missed calls from Fin. She let Abby know she would be right outside and had dialed Fin back before she even got out of there. He picked up after the first ring.
"How is she?" was the first thing he said and she could hear the concern in his voice. She could also hear it sounded like they were in the car driving.
"She's doing okay but under… well pressure. Getting some rest right now though," Liv informed him looking back at the door from where she'd just exited.
"But she's in labor?"
"Yeah. The doctor says so. They're hoping they can reverse it though. Where are you?"
"We're still four hours out Liv," he sounded disappointed.
"Just drive safely and fast. Did you finish the interview?"
"Never mind. Where's her head at Liv?"
"I think she's hanging in there. She doesn't say much really."
"Don't let her fool you Liv. Giving birth freaks her out and now being rushed like this. And then it's the whole mother thing too. She's terrified Liv," he felt too stressed to keep his thoughts inside at this time and let her in on everything.
"What would you do if you were here?" she asked.
"Just talk to her. Try and get her talking, get her out of her own head," Fin knew it wouldn't be easy. Liv promised to try and they agreed to call each other in an hour again. Liv headed back in. Amanda was awake again.
"I got a hold of him," she let her know, "they're driving as fast as possible." Liv took the now lukewarm cloth from Amanda's neck and went over to get fresh water on it again.
"Both Fin and Nick sends their love and I promised to call back within the hour," Liv continued as she came walking back. She sat down and whisked Amanda's bangs out of the way before she put the cloth down on her forehead.
"He's really jealous I'm here with you instead of him," Liv winked at her. Abby was getting a tray ready over at the counter and Liv heard something metallic clink together at times.
"How's the pain?" she asked after a while.
"Not so bad," Amanda said through the oxygen mask.
"How does it feel?" Liv asked, "I mean being in labor." Amanda seemed to think about it and then she lifted her oxygen mask just slightly off her face.
"It's a little like being shot I guess. You feel the origin of the pain but then it radiates through your entire body. A numbing pain." Amanda had to take a few deep breaths.
"I fear extracting a baby will be harder than a bullet though," Amanda breathed.
"Said the woman who spent seventeen days in a coma," Liv smiled.
"Well there were two bullets," Amanda countered quickly. Liv shook her head with that smile still attached. Liv held her eyes but then Amanda deviated hers elsewhere. Liv thought about what else she could ask that wouldn't probe too much but still got Amanda talking. Liv was very curious on a personal level about pregnancies but didn't want Amanda to feel more uncomfortable than she was already feeling.
"You got a name for her?" she asked as soon as she thought about it. Amanda shook her head a little.
"No? I thought all new parents had like twenty lined up," Liv hoped she wouldn't take offense to her spontaneous reply but Amanda didn't seem to as she was still smiling underneath her mask.
"But I guess you figured you'd have a few more weeks to think about it?" Amanda looked as though she was thinking about saying something and Liv just waited. Liv didn't recognize this modest side of the detective. In the squad room she took her space and made her voice heard and the few times they'd been out after work Amanda seemed to be able to claim her space too.
"I just…," she started but seemed to feel unsure how to express herself, "well most things in my life doesn't exactly go smoothly. I didn't want to jinx her by naming her too soon." Liv put her hand on Amanda's arm.
"She'll be fine. You will too Amanda," Liv tried to encourage her.
The situation wouldn't be fine though as a few minutes later Amanda's water broke. There was nothing they could do to prevent labor now.
XXX
A lot of fluff but we're getting there. Baby Finanda. Hm, that's a good name, maybe I'll call her that. Ha.
Sorry I kept you waiting so long for this chapter. I've started writing another fanfic and it's so dark and so intriguing but now I'm back and committed to this one till the end. Promise. Need to finish one at a time. I'll be back asap with the next chapter.