Title: One hot afternoon
Fic Word/Count:2,544
Prompt:- It was one of those hot summer days where even magic could not keep the heat away. A portrait in the Head Dormitory muses at the interaction between the two Heads: Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger.
Rating:T
Summary:A hot afternoon in the Heads' common room. The heat is unbearable. But one of the portraits witnesses an amusing interaction between the two Heads.
Author's Notes:This was written for the Spring/Summer Fest 2013 at DramioneLove Community run by the awesome Rzzmg at LJ. This is the second one-shot ever written and betaed by JaneJenaJeny/faience (LJ).
Disclaimer:"Harry Potter" is a property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. This fic is entirely for fun, no profit intended.
Emmeline was never the one to poke into others' business. She had long been known for her aloofness.
In 1876, under Headmistress Eupraxia Mole, Emmeline had stayed back and helped curb all efforts of Peeves the Poltergist in disrupting classroom activities by putting advanced spells in each classroom for three continuous days, while the caretaker, Carpe, hatched elaborate plans to remove the ghost and evacuate the students safely. Her spells proved to be pioneers to various modern charms that were used even by the Aurors in the present day. Needless to say, her services to the school were highly regarded and she became a legendary Head in her times.
As a dutiful and exemplary Head Girl, her records were the best for years until Albus Dumbledore entered the castle walls. Yet, it was a unanimous decision by the then staff of Hogwarts that as a special tribute to this brilliant witch, a portrait of hers should be hung in the Heads' common room so as to provide inspiration to the elected Heads of each year. It was also asked of the portrait Emmeline to offer useful tips and guidance to each Head student every year.
What the staff did not know is that the portrait of Emmeline had gained immense unpopularity amongst the Heads through the years. She was known to be sarcastic to the inhabitants of the common room-unless, of course, they were studying or doing their assignments.
In fact, because of the very existence of the portrait, none of the Heads could do anything else that would provide them some entertainment. Not even casual talking was allowed. And anyone who dared to call in any of their friends for the day, she would go into a string of endless barking, chasing out everyone from the room. A silencing spell could have done the trick, if only she would not visit her portrait in the Headmaster's room to complain of it.
Ever since, the common room was avoided by both the Head Girl and Boy as much as was possible, and Emmeline was more than happy to read in peace all throughout.
Now, as mentioned earlier, Emmeline was not the sort to participate or be a spectator of any insignificant and paltry discussions. She would rather be absorbed in one of her own five-inch encyclopedia books whilst sitting comfortably in her armchair. But on this particular day, her interest from her book wavered as the current inhabitants were providing an interesting scene in front of her. She could not help but observe both of the Heads keenly.
Really, they were indeed sillier than she had ever imagined!
The current Head Girl, by the name of some Granger, was sitting on the floor near the only available window in the room. Laid out in front of her were parchments, which Emmeline could only guess were homework given by her teachers. Out of both the Heads, Emmeline approved of her more, as the girl had some resemblance in personality to her. Both were stalwart, studious, disciplined and meticulous ladies. However, from looks they were clearly far apart. Especially the hair.
The hair!It was no wonder that the Head boy would endlessly annoy her about that bushy hair of hers. The girl never ever made an effort to tame it! One could mistake her for a Medusa at first glance.
The boy in question was currently sending furtive glances at the Granger girl. He, too, was lying flat on his stomach on the ground, trying to pay equal attention to his book (Guide to Understanding a Young Witch's Hidden Desires by Rowan Risley - bless that boy!) and keeping an eye out for the Head Girl next to him. Amidst the staring, he found some time to fan himself and turn the pages of his book.
Unsurprisingly, his partner was aware of him keeping an eye on her and was doing a rather brilliant job at staying innocent and unaware.
Emmeline wondered once more if she was mistaken about the entire issue in the first place.
Apparently, the fight was about who got the window seat.
A sigh came from her which could be heard by none, not even her (damn that silencing spell!).
Twenty minutes ago, the girl had entered and made a beeline for the table near the window after dropping off her bag on the couch and taking the required parchments out. Unbeknownst to her, exactly at the same moment, the boy had appeared out of his room with the book, fanning himself. On seeing her walk towards the table near the only available window of the entire room, panic and wild determination filled his eyes.
It was as if the next few moments were fast forwarded, all gone in a blur, until it stopped. Both the Heads were lying on the floor, limbs tangled, parchments falling like autumn leaves. Before Emmeline could contemplate where on earth their dignity disappeared to, both finally detached themselves from each other and crawled towards the table, whose value suddenly multiplied so high that it could have beat the Triwizard Tournament Cup, had it been in the same room.
And they said Quidditch was a rough game. Come summer and you'd find unqualified, but expert wrestlers everywhere.
Emmeline was stunned by the raucous behaviour by both of them. However, what stunned her more was when both of them managed to spare some time to turn towards the portrait, wands out and a wild look on their faces.
Silencio!
The effect of it shook the portrait, and Emmeline had to balance her chair to prevent it from toppling off the platform her chair was kept on. Shocked by the sudden turn of events, she watched as both the heads got involved in a tug of war with the legs of the chair. Predictably, two of the legs split apart from the chair, making both of them fly in the opposite directions in surprise.
"Do NOT move, Malfoy, or I swear by Merlin I shall carry you to the Astronomy Tower and take delight in seeing you fall off it."
Emmeline was brought back to the present with a jolt at the Head Girl's shrill command.
The Head Girl was sending a death glare at the Malfoy boy, whilst he, the portrait observed, was crouched in a position which clearly showed he was intending to make a fast move towards the target chair. However, on hearing his partner's voice he let out a groan and went back to lying flat on his stomach muttering what Emmeline could clearly imagine obscenities under his breath.
After a few moments of silence- "Granger, I bet you're aware that this is extremely silly."
"Yes."
Malfoy turned towards her, disgusted. "Pity. I never tagged you as the silly type. Barmy, maybe, but not silly. At least not Hufflepuff type of silly."
Without even raising her head from her work, she said nonchalantly, "It's a general consensus amongst Muggle experts that you need to behave idiotically among mentally challenged people to prove your point, Malfoy. You're no exception."
Filing away the insult for future argument, the Head Boy replied with mock surprise, "Oh, you people have experts amongst you? How interesting. And here I thought all you Muggles do is try and reproduce magical beings, failing all the time, except when they unfortunately produce trolls like you."
Both Emmeline and Hermione glared at Draco for the racist remark.
"Did you know that when someone annoys you it takes only forty-two muscles to glare, but it only takes four muscles to extend you arm and smack them on the head?"
"Frown. Forty-two muscles to frown, Granger."
"Whatever. My reputation of being a know-it-all prohibits me to admit that I am wrong."
Both the portrait and the Head Boy snorted, the only difference being that Emmeline's could not be heard.
"Granger, for heavens' sake, I am melting here-"
"Good riddance!"
"-if you'll grow up and allow me to sit near the window, we can both do ourselves a favour." Malfoy looked at her with an expression that said, Admit-it-woman-that-is-the-best-option-we-have-at- hand.
The Head Girl finally got up from her place and towered over his lying form. "Draco Malfoy, explain how is that a favour for me?"
Malfoy looked up at her innocently. "Oh, is it not? Then I guess you have no choice but to leave my planet."
Wrong thing to say. Emmeline rolled her eyes as the annoyed witch kicked him hard and was rewarded with a yell from him. Really, in all her life as a portrait watching idiots come and go as Heads, these two were by far the superlatives of them all. In fact, calling them idiots would be an insult to their predecessors.
The Head Boy stood up, facing his partner angrily. "Granger, don't you realise that there are enough people to hate in the world already, without you putting in so much effort? I am not going to lie on the floor any longer just because both of us can't find a way to sit near the window.
"Oh, and you're such a smart-arse, I bet you could sit on a tub of ice cream and tell me what flavour it is." said Granger hatefully. "So pray tell me, Malfoy, what could get us both a good seat in this room where we aren't melted to death, or are killed off by each other in a fight?"
"I don't know," he said simply. "You tell me and I'll decide. I am really interested to see things from your point of view." A snort came from his partner. "But I can't seem to get my head that far up your arse."
HAH!
If looks could kill, Emmeline was sure the school would have been entertaining chaos at an event of the Head Boy's death by the Head Girl. Granger was positively livid with anger, but after taking a deep breath-a really deep one (the blond's eyebrow rose to the heavens)-she put on a calculative face as she thought of an acceptable solution. Emmeline was sure she was thinking the same. At this rate, neither of them would complete their work, and neither would survive the day.
"There is this one solution," she said after some time, "where I could sit by the window while I send you to someplace comfortable for your sake. But I have a feeling you won't take it well."
He just confirmed it by giving her a look.
Granger sighed. "I don't know, Malfoy. Maybe we should just go outside and do our stuff-"
"No way, Granger! I just escaped Pansy an hour back after she grabbed on and tried to slobber all over me. She would be way too excited to consider her surroundings if I returned."
"Eww, Malfoy, can you at least not give mental images as such!"
"Trust me the real image is much worse," he said frowning.
"Oh, shut up!" Granger seemed too tired to bicker with this impossible boy.
None of them noticed that the woman in the portrait by now looked ready to smash out of the frame and shake them until some sense hit them from somewhere. As much as she was enjoying seeing them nearly ripping each other's throats, she just wished they had enough brains to remember that they were witches and wizards, for Merlin's sake!
All the while, as Emmeline was weeping for the present state of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry under the current Heads, and the criteria they considered these days to select some nincompoops to lead the students, Draco Malfoy had momentarily glanced across the room, his eyes finally falling on the portrait of that irritable ex-Head Girl of Hogwarts. An idea formed in his mind, an idea so terrible that he wondered if he'd be murdered for it by Granger if he suggested it to her.
But as the world was already officially coming to an end, especially since he had been paired up with Granger for over five months now, he decided not to prolong the inevitable any longer anyway.
"Granger," he whispered without looking at her even.
Hermione Granger frowned at him.
"I have... an idea … umm… which may do the trick," he said, unsure.
"And your dastardly, whiny-arsed idea would be?"
Draco glared at her. He jerked his head towards the direction of the portrait.
Once she knew what he was talking about, her expression turned priceless.
"Granger, if you don't stop your eyes from getting bigger I swear they'll pop out in a second."
"Are you out of your freaking mind?!" she replied, in pure panic. "No. Absolute no! We're not going to ask her for help! You know what she's like."
"Yes, I know," he said, running a hand through his hair, "but how else are we going to get our work done in this heat when we clearly have nothing to solve our present crisis."
Hermione looked ready to cry.
"If you bleed tears on me Granger, I swear I'll hex you," he warned her.
Sighing in defeat, Hermione turned towards their doom, the portrait. Emmeline was currently lost in thought and peaceful, but Hermione was sure that once the Silencing spell was removed, the walls of the room would be reverberating with her endless screams and lecturing.
"Fine. But you have to be the one to ask her."
Draco blanched at the thought. "You'll be dead by night time, trust me. And please make sure to shower as many apologies and flattery you can to that bloody woman after the spell is removed. You people are good at those."
Hermione glared at him but followed as he tentatively approached the portrait. By this point, Emmeline noticed the sudden quiet in the room. On suddenly seeing the Heads approach her and realizing that she was finally being acknowledged. She put on her best face-the face of wrath.
888888
Fifteen minutes later of apologizing, being lectured and screamed at, both the Heads sat at two different desks, far away from the window. Completely engrossed in their work, both were flushed red. On the other hand, Emmeline wore a self-satisfied smirk as she enjoyed normalcy in the room again.
"A stupid Temperature Charm," muttered Draco and glared at Granger as if it all was her fault.
Hermione turned red in embarrassment. "Don't you dare blame me, Malfoy. You could not think of it either."
"You're supposed to be the smartest witch of our age."
"And you the daftest?"
"I am not even a witch. Witches are problematic."
"Oh, shut up!"
"Of course, your Royal Highness. Anything else? Maybe ask Lord Potty and Weasel to come clean your arse."
This time Emmeline was ready with a glass of wine as a new scene unfolded and Hermione Granger launched on Draco Malfoy viciously. As much as she was fed up with both of them, one cannot deny, they were both entertaining at their best.
This time she, herself, put a Silencing spell on her portrait to avoid her cheers and guffaws to be heard by both.
~Fin~
A/N: Firstly, ENCHANTED has NOT been dropped to those wondering. I do keep track of the reviews and I am thankful to each of you for dropping in a word about it. I am probably going to continue posting it again here around sometime next year, however I am halfway done drafting the story and have a clear idea of how I want it to proceed. The reason I am postponing it is because I'd be giving my high school exams or GCSE and as most would know, it is really, really important and career-defining. So most of my attention is being diverted to that and not be involved in a novel-length fic for now.. Yet I found some time to use my writing skills and plot bunnies on some one-shots and seeing that I am deadline-challenged, I thought joining in some Fests would be fun as well good for my time issues. So here's one I which I wrote for Spring/Summer Fest at DramioneLove community. Enjoy! And review in your thoughts! Love you all! :)