Wait for you

DISCLAIMER: DON'T OWN NOTHING BUT MY CAR LOL. The song is wait for you by Elliott Yamin

Santana Lopez did not condone weakness. If you showed people you were vulnerable they would turn it against you and make you regret it. But She couldn't help but smile when she opened her front door to see Rachel standing with a carry out order from breadstix in her arms. Santana squeezed her hands together in a thankful gesture and took the food.

" I can't stay Santana I am meeting Finn at the movies but my father spoke to your father at the hospital and said you would be home alone tonight and I wanted to make sure you had something to eat for supper" Rachel told her in one breath.

Santana chuckled and rolled her eyes turning to put the food down on the kitchen table. She was sometimes still shocked at how close they had become but after the accident Rachel had been there for her everyday. When she turned she caught rachels eyes just as they looked away as if maybe she had caught Rachel in the middle of staring at her again.

She didn't read too much into it. Their relationship was complicated enough without putting any kind of label on it. Rachel had chosen Finn not that Santana had given her any real reason to choose herself. After all the years of torment, and ridicule, and the fact that she pretended that their hookups had been nothing but a mutual arrangement she didn't blame the other girl for running the other way.

" Well text me later ok Santana" Rachel said looking up into her eyes. Santana felt her heart speed up a bit as she nodded. Rachel wrapped her up in a brief hug before walking out the door. She wondered if Rachel ever thought about those nights they had shared together or if Finn had replaced her entirely.

Closing the door behind her she leaned against it. In her mind, she sang:

" I 've never felt nothing in this world like this before" not even with Brittany and that was saying a lot. Brittany had been the love of her life, had been the first person to look past all the bitchyness, and all the rage, to find the real Santana. It was a love that would probably last forever because it was true and innocent and never had the chance to be anything else but Brittany had been forced out of her life something they had come to terms with when Brit had visited her in the hospital. She sadly pushed the blonde out of her mind and re focused her thoughts on Rachel.

" now Im missing you and wishing you would walk back through my door" She looke out the window hoping against all odds that Rachel may have turned her car around and had decided to stay there with her instead of meeting up with her boyfriend.

" why did yo have to go? You could of let me know so now Im all alone" The words flowed freely within her head and she wished the noise would break free but the doctors kept telling her it was all in good time.

Silently Santana sat down at the table and began to dig through the bag. An order of chicken alfreido, garlic bread and ten breadsticks with a 2liter of mountain dew waited for her. When she pulled out the soda a sticky note fell to the table : San, while this may not be my idea of a quality meal since none of it is vegan friendly I know that it is your favorite xoxo Rachel .

" girl you could have stayed but you wouldn't give me a chance with you not around it's a little bit more then I can stand and all my tears they keep running down my face, why did you turn away"

Santana had often wondered what pushed Rachel to just give up on whatever had been growing between them but figured it had to do with Rachel being straight. Although from some of their time together you could have fooled her.

And then she was sitting on Rachels back porch laughing at something the frankenteen had said. She watched as Rachel snuggled closer to him as they talked. She tried to hate him, tried to find any reason that he was nothing but dirt but she couldn't. finn was Finn and she had known him almost all her life, she may not always get along with him but she couldn't deny he was a good guy. She also couldn't deny the way she caught Rachel staring at her sometimes and wondered if Finn saw it too.

" so why does your pride make you run and hide, are you that afraid of me?" It was as if her heart was singing to her mind and she wished she could just get her mouth to work so she could say these things that she has been hiding out loud, " but I know it's a lie what you keep inside, this is not how you want it to be"

It was true she didn't want things to be this way; didn't want her to be in Finns arms, or kissing Finns lips but she knew it was her fault that she was. If she had been honest and told Rachel that their late night meetings had been more then just friends with benefits then maybe she wouldn't be missing her right now.

In her mind her voice was silky and low, almost pleading, " so baby I will wait for you cause I don't know what else I can do"

Back at home she climbed into bed, her head resting on her pillow, " It's been a long time since you called me?"

" how could you forget about me?" Rachel sang from her own bedroom. She knew that she should be thinking of anything but the nights she would sneak out of her window to meet Santana but she couldn't help it.

" you got me feeling crazy" Santana's mind song crooned. She knew that she shouldn't be thinking of Rachel right now, she knew that she wouldn't cross the line because somehow Finn had become a good friend to her but she wouldn't turn her away if the day came that she told Santana that it was her she wanted.

" crazy" Rachel echoed softly. She loved Finn, liked being his girlfriend but she couldn't shake the way it had felt to hold Santana's hand on that long ago night. She had to be crazy.

Back in Santana's room the light was now off and her face was illuminated by the light of the moon.

" So baby I will wait for you cause I don't know what else I can do, I really need you in my life if I have to wait the rest of my life I'll wait for you"

" I'll be waiting" Rachel sang before turning the light in her own room off. Sometimes life could be so complicated.

TBC