Amanda had always been good at running. Running as in jogging and quick on her feet. But also good at running from people, situations and even her own feelings. When things got too hard to handle she ran. When feelings overwhelmed her she literary ran. Most people would probably be surprised if they knew this. It wasn't the impression she gave at work. She was the one that confronted you, got in your face, that jumped first at a chance to get down and dirty, and that at times seemed a little bit too eager. But when it came to her private life it was a whole other ballgame.
Since she could remember running had been her defense mechanism. She could remember running out of the house when her parents fought too loudly. She was good at running away in her mind too. Put music on loudly in her headphones to drown out shouting and slurs. She read to Kim when their household was tumbling down, when they had no books around she made up wild stories that took both of them to magic kingdoms in made up parts of the world. Once Kim got a little older they were back to physically running again.
When Kim shoplifted and there was no way out but run Amanda dragged her away from trouble. She tried to teach Kim right from wrong but she just didn't get it. Amanda had probably been the first one that figured out something was wrong with Kim. She lacked some essential insight that her actions actually affected other people. It wasn't like she was evil, she just didn't get it. Even when she meant well she managed to screw it up. So running was a good thing for her too at times.
Amanda ran from her feelings too. She could remember running away after her first kiss in second grade. The good feeling when her classmate's lips landed on hers scared her and she ran. She could have a bad practice and be so darn hard at herself, managing to stay put till it was over but then running away as fast as she could. The few times she actually thought about it, cause that didn't happen often either, she could count numerous other times when she'd fled a scene in one way or another. Her pregnancy had been one of those big denials. She kept her mind occupied with other things but Fin, and the fact her body started changing, made her have to fess up to it finally.
What happen in Atlanta with her deputy chief had been another thing she tried to run from. That time with help from the perpetrator himself. He threatened her sister and her recovery. It wouldn't be the first or last time Amanda put her sister's needs in front of her own. So she ran, she ran from the scene and then she left the state hoping it would stay behind her. But it didn't. It caught up to her. It became something she couldn't run from any longer. Sam didn't let her. Cragen didn't. And Fin didn't. The weeks before the trial had been awful but she got through them by having the most adorable kid and the support of her partner. The trial itself hadn't been fun but she got through that too. She'd decided to not crumble on the stand but she'd been close a few times. All those eyes staring at her as she had to admit to intimate fondle and recite his dirty words. And then having to go back to that crucial moment in her old high school's bathroom.
The AD had been attentive though and he called a break once he could see it got a little too much for her. He knew she had to go through the defense lawyers redirect also and was anxious that she held up through it. The defense lawyer had tried to twist her words, tried to dig up what little dirt there was on her record and then use her family's bad record to incriminate on her. But to no use. The AD made sure to object whenever not vital information was brought up and he got the judge to agree with him every time. Amanda just focused on breathing as calmly as she could and try to avoid looking over her perpetrators way. And she got through it. She had to wait a while in the court house until they were sure they didn't need her back on the stand. She had a feeling it was all Shane's doing, him still trying to get a final dig at her, but she could have just been paranoid.
While waiting Sam let her know there was someone there who'd like to meet her and Amanda had mixed emotions when she saw Jeffrey and Jennifer Camp enter the room. Jennifer, who had been the one that walked into the bathroom as Shane assaulted Amanda and who actually saved her, quickly walked up to her and gave her a hug. It took Amanda a little off guard but it didn't feel as bad as she had anticipated. To be hugged. And it had given her the opportunity to thank her which felt a bit embarrassing, perhaps the notion she actually had been in need of saving, but also good. She'd thanked Jeffrey too as she shook his hand. Amanda didn't think he knew but Jeffrey had actually been the one that walked in on another confrontation Amanda had with the deputy chief.
She was going to wear a bug as she went in to a sting operation and somewhere in the middle of getting wired up Shane made sure they were alone in the bus. She was only in her bra as he told her he would help her plug in the device. She'd turned him down with the excuse she could do it herself, only then had it dawn on her they were alone in there, but he had insisted. His hand had landed on her breast at some point and she'd slapped it away at the same time as she made sure her face told him he'd clearly crossed a line. He had, as usual, come up with some lame excuse but when she didn't buy it he got offensive. She'd felt a bit of panic in her gut as he'd grabbed her wrist, pushed her backwards and his hand again grabbed her breast.
At that time Jeffrey Camp, a detective on the vice squad that they were working with on this particular case, opened the door and Shane had immediately let Amanda go. The sting operation had demanded Amanda's attention and that interaction with Shane had been pushed back into oblivion like so many others with him. But now Amanda just felt it was something weird going on that both Mr and Mrs Camp at some point saved her. Anyway, it was nice to see them and be able to thank them. Mrs Camp was going to take the stand after Amanda to let the court know what she saw in that bathroom and it would collaborate Amanda's story since they had no other evidence of the assault. No photos had been taken so it was word against word. But mrs Camp and Sam would both give testimony to the events of that night.
And deputy chief Shane Hall would get sentenced. He would be found guilty on all charges. Of course the punishment wouldn't be equivalent to the crimes he'd committed but that was nothing new when it came to these kind of cases. He would get a shorter prison sentence and get ordered to pay damages to his victims – money all six women would donate to a charity that worked to stop sexual harassment in the workplace. But most importantly he would never ever work as a police again. One bad seed gone from the police force. If there had ever been an investigation on Hall senior and his involvement in his son's crimes it quickly got shut down. That was a can of worms no one wanted to open. Hall senior was still very much an influential player in Atlanta and even though his son's crimes tainted his record a little he would continue to be for many years to come.
Flying back to New York had felt good. To have it behind her even though the wait for the sentence dragged it all out a little. Job kept her busy and Fay kept her busy at home. That summer would be rather tricky though. Being with Fin felt just a bit awkward and she found herself withdrawing a little. She started counseling though and it wasn't that bad actually. She'd gone in with the intention to just sit through the sessions, get them over with since Cragen didn't let her run from them either. But somewhere down by the third or fourth visit she'd found herself opening up a little.
Dr Elizabeth Olivet wasn't one you could trick easily. She wasn't one that pushed you, not straight on anyways. But she had her ways to get to you. Once Amanda found out her previously set five mandatory appointments had become ten or more she realized she wasn't going to get set free until Olivet saw progress in her dealing with what happen in Atlanta. No more running from it. So she dealt instead. Amanda even found herself going slightly into the intimacy problems she had with Fin. Well, not Fin, she used Ricky as an alias because Olivet was after all a department affiliated psychiatrist. And, Amanda be darn, the sessions seemed to help after a while.
Fin's summer wasn't all that great either. He missed Amanda. He struggled with how to handle her after she came back from the trial in Atlanta. She never told him how it went in Atlanta and he never brought it up. Cragen told him the sentencing once that came in. Fin knew Amanda went to the psychiatrist though and it was at least something. He hoped it would help her and not for selfish reasons. For once he actually hoped for her sake it would help and not just so he could get back in the sack with her.
She took Fay up to a cabin in the mountains for two weeks during the summer. Some national park in Smokey Mountains or something. He missed them. It was apparently somewhere she'd gone before when she still lived in Georgia. The change of scenery seemed to do her good though. She came back looking as though she had a little less weight on her shoulders. She'd also came home and let him know she would move. Just to a bigger apartment though. She felt it was time to give Fay her own room. Fin tried to help but since he'd been in his own crib for the last 24 years the whole real estate business felt unfamiliar to him. He could help with the financial part though. Amanda needed to take a loan but the gambling addiction left her with bad credit so he stepped in and co-signed one for her. She turned down his offer to take the entire loan, he after all didn't pay any alimony for Fay, but co-signing she agreed to.
Finding a new place turned out trickier than anticipated though. She found a few she liked but they got bought by someone else under her nose or fell through in other ways. It would turn out to be a blessing though cause one day the perfect apartment fell into her lap. Ken got wind of his co-worker's parents that was moving upstate and wanted to sell their two bedroom apartment. Before it even got on the market Amanda got a chance to look at it and it was perfect. It was just a couple of blocks from her current place, and closer down by the waterfront which was perfect. Two medium sized bedrooms, a spacious living room that had an open planning to the kitchen which would hold a bigger table than the two-person she used to have. One big bathroom and a separate toilet by the front door. Large windows which let in lots of sunlight and it was on the second floor from the roof with little to none insight from neighbors. It seemed to have Amanda and Fay written all over it. And with Ken's connection they got to buy it with no hassle at all. A month before Fay's second birthday the moving truck went down the few blocks.
Nick volunteered to help and Fin had already recruited his friend Ricky and another friend of his. As Liv was at her desk when Fin and Nick talked about it Fin asked Liv if she wanted to help and perhaps bring Cassidy along. Fin didn't miss the sigh from Amaro, he wasn't fond of Cassidy, but Fin liked his old squad member and wouldn't mind hanging out with him this weekend. Liv said 'sure' and would let him know if Cassidy was up for it too. Of course he would be and with Fay temporarily at her babysitter's place seven grownups quickly emptied Amanda's place and got them into her new place. By two o'clock Amanda went to fetch Fay and stopped by the pizzeria to pick up five family sized pizzas for her helpers.
She met Liv in the hallway and happily handed over Fay to her so she could get the heavy load of pizzas into the kitchen. Liv got a brighter smile with Fay in her arms and put her up on the counter so she could take her jacket and shoes off.
"So this is your new home?" Liv said with excitement in her voice to the little girl. Fay shined back at her.
"You'll have your very own room. With a big girl bed and all," Liv mused. Liv could tell though that Fay had gotten her eyes on Fin in the living room and she seemed eager to get over to him. She got her down off the counter once her shoes were off and surely enough she immediately ran into the living room and into Fin's arms. Liv watched with a big smile on her face as Fin swung the little girl up in the air before he brought her back down for a big hug. Liv chuckled as she heard the girl giggle as Fin started tickling her.
"You ever thought of one yourself?" Liv spun around as Amanda's question registered. Liv shrugged her shoulders a little as she walked over to Amanda that was getting a pizza sliced up. Liv took the slicer from her so she could get the rest in order.
"I guess I've thought about it," Liv finally admitted as Amanda brought back a couple of soda cans.
"You should. You're great with kids," Amanda said honestly.
"Thanks," Liv said as her cheeks got a little warmer, "I guess I've just never met the right man to have one with."
"What about the one you have now?" Amanda asked and Liv shot her a quick look before her eyes wandered back into the living room. Right before Amanda arrived back Fin and Cassidy had managed to set up her music system and now they'd gotten some music on. Fay was down on the ground and Cassidy was doing some silly dance moves in front of her.
"You talking about him?" Liv said and shot her a quick look. Amanda smiled a little.
"He's the biggest kid of them all," Liv said and looked back. Amanda looked over the same way but her eyes quickly went from Cassidy to Fin who was making the exact same moves right next to him. 'Tell me about it' she wanted to say but kept it to herself.
"You could always do it on your own though," Amanda said as she fetched the last of the sodas from the fridge. Liv seemed thoughtful as she caught Amanda's eyes again.
"I guess I could. I'm a bit old though," Liv pondered.
"Bull," Amanda said quickly, "A woman in India was 70 when she had twins." Liv let out a loud chuckle.
"I'm just saying," Amanda added and tossed her shoulders. They didn't get further as Cassidy came in, drawn by the smell of pizza. Before he grabbed a piece though he did place a kiss on Liv's temple. A small but sweet gesture of affection that Amanda of course picked up on.
"You're a good cook," Cassidy said as he took a bite and as he passed Amanda to grab a soda he gave her a light slap on her behind. Amanda froze for just a second and the next she met Liv's narrowed eyes. This was Cassidy, the easy breezy Cassidy and they both knew that slap meant nothing more than a thank you. But they both had Amanda's trial fresh in mind and it made them both wary. Amanda didn't want to be the sensitive type though and she tried shooting Liv a smile. It came out strained though, she knew it and could tell Liv wasn't convinced. Liv would later scold Cassidy for his action, even though it came from a good place he needed to be aware of what reprisals it could have. She would never address it with Amanda though and just hoped the younger detective knew she could turn to her if she ever was in need.
So by Fay's second birthday they were settled into their new apartment. Amanda invited Teresa, Ken and Alejandro over to celebrate the two year old and to see the new apartment. Fay was doing so much progress and Amanda was very proud of her sweet personality. She was running fairly well by now and she'd started to throw overhand a few months back which made Amanda see a potential softball player in her after all. And she was very active. You needed to keep your eye on her all the time if out because she had a habit of pushing her own boundaries and it landed her in some risky situation at times. Amanda preferred a kid that was forward and not shy though so it just made her proud she wasn't scared to try new things. But of course she wanted her in one piece though.
She was very social too and interacted good with other kids which was a blessing. She loved playing games were she got to run around a lot but if she was in the right mood she could sit still with paper and crayons for at least thirty minutes. And storybooks still captivated her but she needed to be in control of the pages which was a bit of a hassle in nursery school but thankfully she was easily distracted and far from a grumpy kid.
She was still mommy's girl and loved to be carried around but at the same time she was very independent too. She wanted to feed herself and she also preferred to dress and undress herself. She had both these task somewhat under control. The dressing one left her at times in clothes inside out and once the item was on you could not get her to change so it meant she often showed up in school like this. It was just not a fight Amanda chose to take and she was just felt blessed this tiny little person was a part of her life. Even with her clothes inside out she was perfect.
They had started potty training a while back and Fay was doing really well with not many accidents. Fin had been a good help which was mostly because Amanda brought home a book that caught his attention. "You gotta be kidding me," had been his response when she handed it to him. The book was 'Where's the poop?' and the title was enough to get him onboard. He was truly a big kid at times. He had fun helping but predicted they would all miss what he called 'saved by diaper'. With Fay being so active she often fell and her adventuress side landed her on the diaper clothed butt ever so often. Once she even got caught in the diaper and hung from a railing and it saved her from falling the rest of the way down onto the hard ground. But being without the diaper didn't stop Fay, when falling she just bounced right back up and continued her journey in this life.
Most relieving for Amanda had been that Fay finally said her 2nd word. They were packing Fay's things together before the move when she suddenly said 'unicorn' clear as day. Amanda got her to repeat it a couple of times just to make sure she'd really heard it. Amanda hoped she didn't overdo the cheering and scared Fay into silence again but she was just overjoyed and felt such relief. Fay would still be far from speaking fluently and would have a tendency to mispronounce words as she grew older but she was on her way and that was the important thing to keep in mind.
Another good thing with the move was Amanda found a new friend a floor down. Eva was her name and she was a single mother too but with two sons. She'd moved here from Chile when she was pregnant with her youngest. There had been too much violence around her and when her husband had been killed by a stray bullet she'd packed up her things and moved to… New York. Amanda had questioned her choice of city if she wanted to get away from violence but since Eva had connections through an uncle to a job here it had been the only way for her to get a greencard. And she'd found the city familiar in a way. She never went outside at night though and she kept her boys on a tight leash.
Her eldest, Esteban, was nine and even though he collected matchboxes not a future arsonist, Amanda had looked for signs. He was a cute kid with good manners and intelligence. Eva's younger son was named Johnny and he was the same age as Fay. Johnny was a little bit like Fay, a free spirit and the two combined played very good together but could also get in trouble together if they got to run free. A year from now they would get in some trouble when they wanted to play Eskimos and used Eva's fridge as an igloo while she was busy sewing in the back room. She was a seamstress and worked a lot from her home. Some of the food was salvageable and Amanda had bought some good meat for her even though Eva had declined any reimbursement. Escapades like that of course amused Fin.
Amanda appreciated having Eva in her building. They would have a coffee every now and then and could just sit and talk for hours. Not that their kids let them though. But those minutes they got were much appreciated by both of them. She figured Eva was a bit lonely seeing how she was mostly caught up in her own home. She never complained though. She always had a smile to share and Amanda could always count on her day or night. And with the job she had she needed someone like that. She tried to repay Eva by taking Johnny and Esteban out sometimes so Eva could work. Fin would also end up being a bit like a big brother for Esteban who had some trouble with bullies in school.
Amanda still had Nellie as a reliable babysitter and she'd found another one – Grace - in the neighborhood that she trusted and that Fay liked a lot. Nellie wouldn't be around for much longer though since she was probably leaving for the university next year and both Amanda and Fay would miss her terrible if that happen. Grace was in high school still but showed the maturity and responsibility of an older soul and Amanda trusted her with her daughter's life. They were two good students and often had time even if Amanda had to call the day before. As a single parent you appreciated things like that. Sure Fin was always there to help out too but when she was at work he was working too.
Fin had felt as though Amanda, and as extension of her Fay, had started to drift away from him but by Fay's 2nd birthday he started to feel like they were back in their old form again. They were intimate again and her past didn't seem to bother either of them that much as some time had passed since the trail. He had a few opportunities when he could have asked, perhaps should have asked, her about it all but he let them slip by him and he thought maybe it was for the best. She was still seeing the department psychiatrist and perhaps that was all she needed.
Thanksgiving was coming up and they were as usual invited to spend it at Teresa's place. But the week before the holiday they had to make a roadtrip up state to interview a family in regards to an upcoming trail. On their way back Fin's car broke down on a deserted road. After a check under the hood the diagnosis was oil leakage and they were now waiting for a tow truck to get them out of there.
Amanda growled for about the fifth time and jumped up on the back of the car. Fin had walked a couple of steps away from the car to distance himself from her. She was oozing bad karma and the chilly November air was getting to both of them. He heard her growl yet again and he sighed and crossed his arms as he turned around back towards the car. His troubled demeanor changed as he saw her up on that car though. Heels on the bumper, legs wide apart and elbows on her knees like a benchwarmer for a football team.
"What you smiling about?" she said with some snark that only added to the fact she clearly didn't enjoying being stranded on a deserted road in the middle of nowhere.
"You sit like a dude," he said with a mischievous smile. She rolled her eyes at him and leaned back on her palms which only gave her an even more nonchalant guy feeling over her presence.
"Whatever. At least I don't drive like a girl. Oil leak my ass," she said as she made a face at him. She looked down the road and when she looked back he was still staring at her.
"What?" she said and sat back up as she felt a little self-conscious. She straightened her jacket a bit when he kept looking at her without saying anything.
"What Fin?" she asked again as she couldn't take his silence right now. She was already irritated by being stuck there and the cold was starting to get to her a bit.
"You look hot like that," he smirked. Her irritation changed to a confused smile in an instance.
"Get out Fin," she grunted and stroke back a strand that had escaped her ponytail.
"Really hot," he said.
"Fin, we're in public," she said. He looked at her and then down the road both ways.
"Okay," she said knowing what he was hinting at. She took a deep breath and looked down the empty road before she turned to him again and said: "Well then why don't you stop acting like a girl and get over here?"
Fin got an amused look over his face and uncrossed his arms as he slowly made his way over to her. She kept her legs wide apart so he could easily slip in-between them. He snaked his arm around her as he looked her face over intensely. She wrapped her arms around his neck and waited for him to get finished with the staring. It felt weird holding on to him out in the daylight like that, weird in a good way though. She unconsciously wet her lips as his eyes went over them. His eyes finally landed back on hers and he closed the distance between them slowly.
His lips felt warm against hers as they finally landed. Her hands went up over his scalp and she let her fingertips play slowly over his cleancut head. She loved how sharp every single hair felt under her fingertips. His lips tasted her ever so carefully. She didn't recognize this slow pace but she enjoyed it. Sure there had been times when he slowed down. When he took his time undressing her piece by piece, eating her with his eyes before he tasted her for real. But that was sensual and erotic building up to some frenzy most of the time. This was slow and with so much emotion from his side it threaten to overwhelm her. She kept her eyes open, which was rare when she kissed, and she met his eyes every now and then as he slowly kept tasting her lips. She feared a car would come driving by right now because she didn't want this to end. His hands had gone in underneath her jacket but he kept them still against her lower back, his fingers just rubbing her slightly but sending shivers through her entire body. Finally he separated her lips with his tongue and she came to greet him as he came inside.
She tried keeping her eyes open cause she wanted to see him but they kept falling shut as the desire grew inside her and the heat started to cloud her vision. He tasted so good she just wanted more and more. But he kept it slow and explored her mouth little by little. One of his hands came around to her front. She felt the back of his hand rest against her stomach above her shirt and then he started moving it slowly upwards. It came up between her breasts but didn't make a detour to either side like it usually did but instead it ran up all the way to her neck. His palm landed on her throat and his thumb drew tiny circles to the side of the throat. His hand came up over her jaw and she felt his grip tighten slightly as his tongue withdrew. He held on to her face as he distanced himself from her. His eyes again searched her face slowly. She didn't feel self-conscious under his eyes but she still blushed. He got a kind smile over his face as he picked up on her blushing. He let her jaw go and caressed her red cheek gently.
"You're acting weird," she whispered.
"Do I bug you?" he asked as his finger ran over her eyebrow and down over her nose.
"You always bug me," she grinned as his finger reached her lip and went on downwards. Her hands had sneaked down a little inside the back of his pants and she rested them against this warm skin getting some heat back to her numb fingers. His hand went down her throat again and landed on the rim of her button up shirt. She watched his face get a bit of cheekiness to it as he unbuttoned her top button. He went on to the second button.
"Fin, I'm not doing it out here," she let him know.
"No?" he said and raised his eyebrow without letting his eyes go from the second button that he now undid.
"No," she repeated and pulled out one of her hands from his pants so she could put it over his as he got down to her third button. She chuckled at the face of disappointment he made.
"Someone can drive down this street any minute Fin," she whispered.
"They would get a hell of a show?" he suggested and started to lean in as his mouth wanted to taste her neck but she put her palm to his forehead and pushed him away.
"I don't give shows," she smiled at him.
"You've given me plenty of shows," he said and quickly attacked her neck so she didn't have time to stop him. His lips caught her skin and then he used his teeth to tickle her. She squirmed a bit but settled down as he stopped and just let his lips run up behind her ear.
"Private shows are different," she breathed as his hot breath behind her ear send shivers down her back.
"We could use the backseat for a private show," he suggested as his lips left her skin for a few seconds.
"Not private enough." She bent her head backwards as his mouth started to wander forward over her throat. He placed a few kisses down her chest in the gap he'd made unbuttoning her shirt. His hand went up the outside of her legs and around her butt as his lips worked their way up to her mouth again.
"Well you better find somewhere private enough for you cause I'm going to keep bugging you until I can do you," he said into her mouth.
"There's nothing but wood around here Fin," she proclaimed.
"Wood would work," he said and bit down on her lip.
"You seriously want to go into the woods with me city boy?" she questioned him.
"I'll show you wood," he said and grabbed her ass and pulled her into him.
"Desperate much?" she chuckled as his mouth traveled down to her neck again and nibbled at her skin. He kept going for a while as her skin tasted so good.
He finally came back up to her face though and he held her eyes for a while before he let his eyes follow his hand as it ran down the side of her face. She sensed this was something different and she looked at him as he let his fingers trace the side of her face. He came back up to her eyes again.
"It's nice to have you back. I missed you," he said quietly and she knew what he meant. It felt so good to hear him say it though that her chest got a little tight. He leaned in and kissed her gently. Such a soft kiss filled with emotions.
"Let's get you back home to that daughter of yours," he whispered and gave her another quick kiss before he let her go. The only thing that could have made that moment even more special were if he'd used the term 'ours' instead.
XXX
Right from the start, you were a thief, you stole my heart and I'm your willing victim. I let you see the parts of me that weren't all that pretty. And with every touch you fixed them. Tear ducts and rust, I'll fix it for us. We're collecting dust but our love's enough. It's still written in the scars of my heart. We're not broken, just bent and we can learn to love again. ~ Pink's Just Give Me a Reason
XXX
They were making slow but steady progress to get back to their normal. Amanda had come back to her hold self in the squad room, not withdrawing so much as she'd been doing unconsciously since the trial in Atlanta. Her appointments with dr Olivet were spread out to once a month now and both Cragen and Fin were very pleased she was still going. She felt as though she was grounded again. She had a new apartment that she felt very comfortable in, she had Fay, she had Fin and felt as though she was back to her old self at work. Nothing seemed to cloud her mind finally.
But then something from his past would come back and give Fin a dark cloud over his head. Fin had a past in narcotics, he rarely talked about his undercover days but Amanda knew something big had happen that made him finally say 'enough, is enough'. She knew it involved a bullet that his partner took for him. The man who had blown Fin's cover and tried to kill him was Benito Escobar. He had died by the hands of another inmate at Attica State prison many years ago. She knew Fin felt no regret for him and Amanda agreed it was Escobar who had placed himself at the prison and gotten on the other inmate's bad side so Fin should absolutely not feel guilty for his death. However not everyone felt this way. Escobar's daughter Mimi had just been a teenager when her dad was sentenced to life and just barely in her twenties when he died. Escobar were a man without scruples, he'd used his own kids as drug mules before they were barely out of their diapers. His daughter had followed in his footsteps. Since Fin left narc he'd lost track of all of that though but fate or pure dumb coincidence would bring him back there.
In April they hit a prostitution ring and they managed to hit it at the same time as Mimi and one of her accomplices were there to deliver the weekly ration of drugs. Mimi recognized Fin and it seemed to spark a vengeance in her. In holdup she tried to frame Fin for sexual harassment but thankfully Amanda had been present during the entire arrest and transport of her and the others and could verify nothing happen. The accusation had been filed though and Mimi wouldn't give up there. She started threatening Fin, had someone mess up his car and drove by the station. It turned physical one night as he got knocked over the head with something, thankfully a by passer saw the initial blow and came to aid before it escalated.
The attacker got away though so they couldn't link it to Mimi even though everyone figured she was behind it. Fin was left with a slight concussion, a bruised ego for getting snuck up upon and it made him withdraw even more from Amanda and Fay. He'd let Amanda knew even before the attack that he didn't want her to come around to his place since Mimi sat outside ever so often and he wouldn't be seen in public with Fay in case Mimi would get any funny ideas about attacking someone close to him. It was really getting to him. He went straight home from work, didn't answer his phone and being on guard 24/7 started to drain him mentally and physically. Amanda saw it happening in front of her eyes and felt completely helpless.
Of course the squad had already tried to come to his aid. They'd talked to narcotics, Nick had used his connections since Fin's mostly had retired by now. Mimi was a smart cookie. She'd inherit her father's wicked mind and made sure her tracks were covered. A few years ago narcotics had made a big bust but Mimi had managed to slip through their fingers while many of her accomplices had gone down. This meant Mimi the last couple of years had built up almost an empire and she sovereign many blocks in Bronx. She was now in her thirties and had major street cred. Many had tried to take her down but she remained standing and now that narcotics really got on her case it seemed to only fuel her animosity towards Fin.
Amanda feared that Mimi would try and take Fin out as a payback for her father's death. And with the state Fin was in she feared he would be an easy target or perhaps he'd turn the tables and do something stupid that would land in him a shit load of trouble.
"Fin… Fin. Fin!" her third yelp snapped him out of his thoughts.
"You're hurting me," she managed to say as he stopped pounding her with the previous intensity. She was able to easy up on the firm grip around the sheets at the same time as his harsh grip in her hair eased up. She'd clutched the sheets harder as the delightful feeling of having him rear her from the back went over to painful as he seemed to get lost in frenzy. She'd liked it to begin with, some pain could be very erotic, but as her arousal turned to fear of actual physical harm she felt a need to make him ease up a bit. He'd seemed unable to reach first though and as his careless grip in her hair increased, bending her head backwards harder so the angle of his erection inside her grew increasingly painful, she felt a bit of panic. So she scolded his name and finally she seemed to reach him.
He stopped the repetitive motion as quickly as he was able to, let go of her hair and withdrew from her. He fell down on his back to the side of her panting 'I'm sorry' over and over again. She fell down on her stomach panting just as hard as he was.
"You didn't have to stop," she panted and reached out and placed her palm on his sweaty chest, "I just needed you to ease up a little." And that was all she really wanted him to do. She truly didn't mind some pain. He'd covered his eyes with his hand and he shook his head a little. They both needed to catch their breaths and remained quiet for a while. Amanda rested her cheek on her hand as she let the other one slip off his chest. Her eyes went over his naked body that was gleaming of sweat. He was still sporting a slight hard-on, his stomach and chest were rising and declining rapidly and she could only see part of his jaw cause of the covering hand over his face.
She'd felt numb in her lower regions but now started to get some sensation back and could feel the effect his hard treatment had on her. She didn't want him to feel bad though and let her hand sneak up upon his chest again.
"It's okay Fin, really," she whispered, now with full control of her voice as her breathing had come down. He finally let his hand uncover his face and he turned his head towards her as he let his hand drop on top of her head.
"You sure?" he asked with a concern look on his face as he rubbed her head gently. She nodded and squeezed his chest a little. Her fingers slipped a little over his sweaty chest. He let his hand stay on her head but turned away his head as he took a big, deep breath.
"Is it Mimi?" she asked as she had a hunch where his mind had taken him earlier and she got a slight nod as an answer.
"She contact you again?" she asked as she rubbed her hand a little over his chest in some attempt to comfort him a little. He cleared his throat and rearranged himself a little on the bed. He pulled his hand back and she missed it instantly.
"Yeah," he said and she waited for him to continue, "she sat in the car outside the station as I drove out." He sighed.
"Don't worry though," he said quickly and turned his head to her, "she didn't follow me and I cleared the street."
"I'm not worried," she let him know, "About me," she added though to let him know she was concerned about his safety though. He'd called her a little earlier and asked her if she could come over for a bit. She'd heard in his voice he was in need of some company and she'd left Fay with her neighbor for a while. It had been some time now since he'd called her over. He'd told her to drive down into the garage though just as a precaution in case Mimi was staking out his house after all. It was clear once she got there though he didn't want to talk, he needed something else and she'd been up for it knowing beforehand what to expect. They'd been rumbling on the bed within minutes after she got there.
He'd been forceful from the start, demanding and eager. First round went well but then as he flipped her over for a second round things got intense a little too quickly. But she didn't want him to stop, just ease down a few notches, then she could have handled him. She didn't like to see him this upset and she could cope with a lot if it only meant he'd get some relief. She wished they were better at communicating though. Like really communicating emotions and stuff. She had hoped it would get better one day but for some reason it only felt like it was getting harder. They stayed away from talking about any sensitive matters. She feared she had a part in it, not letting him in on the ordeal in Atlanta, just letting him read the transcript and nothing else. She tried to stop the negative thinking and think about the matter at hand.
"You sure you're okay?" he suddenly asked and shot her a look as his hand came down on her head again.
"Well it depends," she said a bit cryptic. The crease between his eyes grew deeper as he watched her with deeper concern. She'd kept her face blank to throw him off and drew a circle with her nail on his chest. She raised her eyes from her finger to meet his eyes as she spoke;
"You left me kinda hot and bothered you know." She pouted her lips a little but couldn't keep them that way as a mischievous smile spread over her face. His crease eased a little but he kept the concern look as long as he could before she spotted the mischievousness in his eyes.
"That's not so nice you know," she said and bit down on her lip as she tried to keep from laughing as his smile widen.
"We can't have that now can we?" he said with a raspy voice as he turned towards her. She quickly turned around so she landed on her back as he came up over her again. She couldn't keep her laughter down as his hands tickled her on their way up her body and his mouth helped tickle her as it landed on her neck.
"Hot. Bothered. Sexy. Naked," he said a word between half kisses half bites and his hands roamed her naked body up and down meanwhile. She could feel his hard-on grow again against her thigh.
"No woman will be left unsatisfied in my bed," he smiled as he came up to look at her. She'd stopped laughing but kept smiling as she felt her own breath pick up with the arousal his mouth and hands triggered. He caught her mouth with his but before she could wrap her arms around him he started travelling downwards. He left a trail of kisses down over her breast, paid a visit to each nipple before he made his way down her trimmed stomach. He let his tongue explore her bellybutton as his hands came in underneath her butt cheeks. He used his upper arms to spread her legs wider as he went down even further and her impulse was to pull them together as a wave of desire was triggered by his lips reaching her pubic hair. Her hands played over his scalp as he trailed kisses to the side of her well trimmed bush.
She had to let him go though and grab a hold of the sheets as his mouth found its way in-between her folds. She arched her back as his tongue came down over her clit and sent shivers of pleasure through her entire body. She couldn't keep from whimpering as he dug in deeper and he eagerly worked her and within a minute he had her crying out his name in a whole other tone than earlier. Once he had caressed her down from the extreme high he'd taken her too they swooped positions. When she left his place half an hour later they were both very much satisfied.
But she knew sex was a quick fix to make him feel better. His current problems needed more than a quick fix. Mimi needed to be taken care off before she entrapped him again or, even worse, made those subtle death threats come true. Fay needed him around and as long as Mimi was around Fin would not take Fay anywhere public.
Amanda had an idea though. She knew it was probably a bit stupid and hasty but she needed to do something, and quickly since she could see how badly this affected Fin. Mimi's right hand - Anton "Risky" Raymond. They'd come across him a few weeks back. Mimi and he rarely got together in public and he was never with her in the car as she rode by Fin's. So she was rather certain Mimi hadn't involved him in this vendetta she had against Fin but of course she couldn't be sure. But she'd seen him talk up this blonde on the street and another time she'd seen him with not one but two blondes so she was hoping he had a preference to blondes. She'd stalked him a bit this last week and she found he hung around a lot at this club called C-lounge. He never travelled alone though, he had at least three or four guys by his side. All kinda thug looking with their tattoos and hoodies.
She made sure everyone left before she snuck down and got a dress from the wardrobe that they used on different sting operations. She found one that would cover her scar on the chest but showed lots of skin over the stomach area. She'd seen the girls Anton talked up and she had to dress the part. She hid it under her arm and went back up to the bunks to change. She'd brought a big hoodie that she covered herself with as she exited. She would get the shoes, hair and make-up done in her car to not raise suspicion or raised eyebrows. She only had a vague idea how she would play this and felt nerves as she left all her belongings in the car and quickly let the premises to catch the bus the rest of the way to the club. She felt a bit relieved as she sat down on the bus just that she'd gotten away, hopefully, unseen from the station's parking lot. She did not feel like explaining her current outfit to anyone.
The dress she'd chosen showed a lot of skin and she still didn't feel all that comfortable in the get up. She'd skipped the pantyhose since she still didn't feel all that comfortable wearing them after the incident in Atlanta. She regretted that now though as the spring evening wasn't that warm. The heels were high but she could handle them, the hair was nicely done and her face was covered with a rather thick layer of make-up. She could tell she earned some looks but all she could think about right now was one set of eyes she needed to attract and that was Anton's.
She got off the bus at the end of the street and tried to get in character as she walked down the street. As she stepped into the club she didn't have to hide that she was looking for someone because her plan was to act as though she got stood up by someone. She wasn't wearing anything than her dress and a little purse so she just smiled as she walked by the bouncer. It was a weekday and too early to be crowded yet so she easily found a spot by the bar when her eyes couldn't find Anton in there. She ordered a red wine and a glass of water and just tried to relax. Inside she felt nervous though, what if Anton wouldn't show? She couldn't stay too long cause Grace had something with school and couldn't stay too late to watch Fay tonight. To her surprise she got hit on by a guy but turned him down gently. She turned back to the counter with a smile just as Anton entered. She almost froze for a second when their eyes met but she managed to spin her chair all the way around to the bar and had a zip of her wine.
Easier than expected she'd caught Anton's eye and she could feel him keep looking as he and his crew took a seat at a table nearby. For some reason she felt calm once she knew he was there and she played her role well. She made sure her legs were stretched out and skirt hitched up so he could get a good look. She tossed her hair at times and chatted up the bartender a little so Anton would know she was sociable. It didn't take long until he was at the bar ordering something even though Amanda had seen that his crew got served at their table.
"Is that clock right?" she asked the bartender and hinted to the big one behind him. When the bartender nodded she made a loud noise letting Anton knew she was disappointed over something. He took the bait.
"You expecting someone?" he asked. Hook, line and sinker she thought, feeling very proud of herself before she slanted her head slightly and gave him a look. She let a few seconds go as she scanned him a little, making sure he knew she was checking him out, before she gave him a slight nod and made a face that verified the answer.
"He's an idiot," Anton said and leaned in a little her way. Amanda let out a chuckle as she tossed her head back a little letting him have a good look at her front. She unfolded her legs and then folded them the other way and when she peeked back at him he still had his eyes down by her legs.
"Guy's still living with his mom, I should have known," she said and made a face. Anton thanked the bartender as he'd brought him a bottled beer. He took a swipe of the beer and then took a step closer to her.
"Looser and an idiot," he said with a grin on his face. Amanda pulled her hair behind her ear as she nodded in agreement. She brought her glass up to her mouth and kept it there for a while before she took a zip. She let her tongue run over her bottom lip and as she turned a little towards Anton she could see that's where his eyes were. She bit down on her lip a little before she gave him a shy smile. That seemed to pull him from whatever thoughts he'd been stuck in and he let out a chuckle before he took a slug of his beer.
"So does that mean this seat's free?" he asked once he put his beer down. Amanda took another good look at him, checked him out again before she gave a slight nod. He smiled as he took the seat next to her.
"I passed the bar?" he joked and she gave him a cheeky smile for an answer.
"Idiots loss, my gain," he added. They would do a little small talk to begin with, he was a real smooth talker but she would learn it was only a front. This was a player for sure. He'd asked her if he could refill her drink and he seemed to like it when she said she didn't have to act a lady any longer and she'd have a beer like him. Once Anton ordered he told the bartender he would pay for her previous drinks too. Amanda thanked him by brushing her hand slightly over his. It didn't take him long to offer her drugs. Two tiny, white pills that he balanced with ease on his fingertip. She shook him off with a nonchalant face and reached for her beer.
"Trying to stay clean for my daughter," she said and took a zip.
"You're a mama?" he said and she nodded thinking it would work well as a cover even if she hadn't planned to reveal that fact. She felt his hand go up her leg a little and he leaned in a little and whispered;
"Mama needs to have fun too sometimes." She smiled a little and replied:
"There's other ways to have fun." She could tell by the big grin on his face he liked that answer. He squeezed her thigh a little and then sat back up with a chuckle before he grabbed his beer. Not before he'd put a pill in his mouth though. She knew she didn't have much time to play with. She needed to get home to Fay and she needed to get the information out of him right here, she would not go anywhere with him that was for sure.
"Haven't we met before?" she said and gave him a suspicious eye.
"Believe me, had I met you I would remember," he said and gave her a look before he spun around on his chair so he could watch the small crowd that had now started to form in the club. Thankfully the music was still very low and there were no dancing. She took the opportunity as he browsed the crowd to check her phone and as she did she hit the recorder and then put it down on the counter.
"You know Tizz?" she said and it got his attention immediately.
"You know Tizz?" he shot back and turned his body slightly towards her. Teodor Zane Barrow, aka TZ or Tizz, was a well known name in Mimi and Anton's scene. He was currently serving 7 to 15 for a level C violent felony drug charge and he was Mimi's boyfriend once back when she started to get a rep in the community.
Amanda nodded at Anton as she took a zip from her beer.
"I knew I'd seen you somewhere. You hang with Mimi right?" she said and it got him to fully turn towards her.
"You know Mimi?" he seemed surprised and she knew she would have to sell this good.
"Oh I know Mims, wish I didn't though," she said and let her face tell him how she felt about her too. He let out a chuckle and rubbed his hands together as he said:
"Oh I'd love to hear this." She tried to keep it cool. Let him know Mimi hadn't greeted her well as she hooked up with TZ. Told him they had some physical altercations too. Anton seemed overjoyed to listen to her, seemed he took some pleasure in hearing someone dig at his partner. TZ had been one of the kingpins a few years back and Amanda threw out a lot of names and places that she'd seen on the police records just to sell Anton in on her as TZ's girlfriend. Amanda tried to ignore the fact Anton's hands were getting a little too touchy feely for her comfort. He'd pulled his chair a little closer to hers so that his legs connected with her legs underneath the bar and her ass on the back of the chair.
She told him she'd been to TZ's stash and in passing she asked if Mims still kept her stash on this last current address they had. Thankfully it seemed Anton's guard was completely down and within twenty minutes he'd spilled a few of Mimi's locations and given at least two names Amanda hadn't heard before. Meanwhile though his hand had travelled up her leg, slightly going in underneath her skirt, a few times and his other hand was mostly up around the back of her neck. That was when he didn't reach for his beer. He was on his third now, Amanda on her second.
It seemed as though she might have gotten all she needed out of him and she needed to plan a refined escape to get out of being groped any further. He came in for a kiss and she felt as though he'd get suspicious if she didn't collaborate a little seeing how she had sent out rather obvious signals. So she didn't resist and tried to relax as he bit down on her lip and then intensified the kiss quickly. It didn't feel as odd as she thought it would but it did feel like she was cheating in a way. Cheating on Fin. He let her go rather quickly though and she tried to smile as she saw his hand go up to his mouth. The second later though he came back in and this time he immediately pushed his tongue inside her. She quickly realized why. She tried to keep calm as she felt the pill, or pills perhaps, swirl around in her mouth. He'd grabbed a hold of her hair and held her fixed to his mouth for what felt like a very long time. His other hand was far up her dress but thankfully her legs were closed and the way they were sitting made it impossible, even if she would want to, to uncross her legs. It was impossible for her to keep track of the pills in her mouth as Anton's tongue swirled around in there.
Once he finally let her go she had to gasp a little for air. She kept her eyes on him as she tried to unnoticed search her own mouth with her tongue to hopefully find the pills still not down her throat. But she couldn't find anything.
"Baby mamas need to party too," he grinned and then rotated his chair to signal the bartender for another beer. Amanda had a hard time breathing. It felt as though the walls were caving in on her a little but she knew it was an illusion because no drug worked that quickly if absorbed orally. Or could they?
She could only think of one thing - she needed help. She needed Fin.