Fay's abduction had of course had great impact on Amanda. For a few hours she'd felt like the rug had literary been pulled from underneath her feet. A life without Fay would be no life. Coming so close to that being the case was life shattering but then having her back absolutely the greatest fortune Amanda had experienced. The day and the following and all the emotions were very draining. Amanda stayed home with Fay that first day afterwards but then was sane enough to realize for her own as well as for Fay she needed to get back to the old routine. Dropping her off at nursery school was one of the toughest things Amanda had gone through.
The school had taken measures after the abduction though. They put twice as many grown-ups out on the yard at recess and the cameras had been redirected and their numbers added so it covered the entire backyard. The fence would be added too later that year, making it a yard higher which had been planned even before Fay's abduction since kids climbed it. The added safety measures still didn't make it any easier for Amanda to drop her daughter off that morning though. She stayed put longer than usual and no one objected. Fay's teacher Ms Beasley almost seemed nervous when Amanda started to pull out of there, almost like she wanted help to watch Fay a little closer today. The teacher's aide Susan let Amanda knew though that Fay would be fine and it was okay for her to head to work. Amanda would receive a text during lunch from Susan that let her know Fay was fine and it even had a photo attached. Amanda had no words for how much she appreciated that gesture.
Little things like that and the fact her squad backed her up made it easier to move on from the tragic events. Cragen also ordered her to see dr Olivet for a few sessions. He knew she was still seeing her every other month but that was still linked with all that happen in Atlanta and he wanted to make sure she dealt with the abduction as well. Since she was still willingly going to dr Olivet Cragen figured they had a good thing going there and he was very pleased. And also very proud of how much Amanda had grown these last couple of years, he hoped he had at least a small part in that growth.
Amanda's sister, Kim, would be on that bus back to Atlanta with that ticket Amanda had bought from her. She would, driven by Amanda's old captain, check in with the Atlanta PD the following day and Amanda would get her bail money back once the case was all pleaded out in court. What Kim had done would forever put a dent in their relationship though but within a few months they were back to talking again. Amanda had never been one for holding grudges. It just took too much energy out of you and it was better to just move on. Something Fin didn't get. He held many grudges and saw no point in forgiving people who didn't deserve it.
Another thing that came out of the abduction was a realization for Amanda that she felt lonely. Sure she had Fay but she didn't really have Fin did she? Even in that crisis situation he hadn't stepped up as the father, perhaps she hadn't given him much room but still. He had been there and surely been affected a large deal about the events that took place but their relationship just never changed. It made her question what they had and what was in the future for them. She wasn't sure she wanted to wait around for something more that might or might not happen and there must be a reason why she felt unable to talk to him about it. Was she truly in love with him or just the security he brought to her life?
This was on her mind the rest of the year. Fay turned three and with the abduction still fresh in mind Amanda wanted to celebrate it a little larger than earlier years. She found an indoor play center that arranged birthday parties within her budget and they invited her entire class. All 16 kids with one or more parents showed up. Of course Eva was there with Esteban and Johnny. And Fin, Ken and Alejandro dropped by too even though they had dinner at Amanda's place the night before in Fay's honor. Fay and the rest of the kids all seemed to have loads of fun and Amanda had time to enjoy it too. Not that crisis' was something to recommend but it did make you value what you had just a little bit more and made you appreciate the happy moments just a little extra.
Fin had stayed to the very end and caught a ride with them since he'd arrived with Ken and Alejandro. He had helped out a lot and played around with the kids and Amanda could tell he was worn down. Fay was tired too and they turned in for an early night. Fin offered to take care of Fay as they hauled her up out of the bath tub so Amanda could take a shower. Sounded great to Amanda and Fin wrapped Fay in a blanket at she saw them disappear down the hallway. She took her time, enjoyed the warm rays cleansing her from today's events but she was still done within half an hour. She'd never been much for long showers anyways. She figured Fin would have started the bedtime reading by now but could tell the room was dark as she got closer.
She walked down the hallway and peeked inside. She heard tiny voices in there but the room was dark. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness she could see the outline of the bed and could see that Fin and Fay were both on it.
"What's going on in here?" she whispered a little higher than their voices. Her daughter hushed her and then whispered something incomprehensible.
"Did you just hush your mama?" Amanda said and tried to sound less amused as she approached the bed. She heard Fin chuckle a little. Amanda sneaked up on the other side of her daughter and lay down on the tiny space left on the bed next to her.
"What are we doing?" Amanda whispered.
"Lamb is fleeping," Fay tried to whisper but it came out more in her normal tone of voice.
"The lamp is sleeping?" Amanda translated what she thought her daughter meant and she felt Fay nod on the pillow next to her, her hair tickling her temple. Amanda raised her head and looked over her daughter to Fin. Even in the dark she could see his eyes were closed.
"So the lamp is sleeping eh?" she whispered and Fin hushed her.
"Yeah right buddy," she said and lay back down on the pillow. Fay came rolling up on her. Put her head on her chest and let her legs fall down on each side of her.
"Perfect, you were supposed to read her to sleep and here I am a hamburger," she sighed but again couldn't hide her amusement. She felt her daughter's fingers entwining in her hair as she usually did as they cozied in.
"Not my fault the lamp needed to sleep," Fin whispered. The room fell silent. He soon came rolling over though and he put his arm carefully over the two of them. She felt his lips touch lightly against her temple and she had to smile. She could feel her daughter slowly falling asleep on top of her and soon her little fingers laid still all entangled in her hair. It sounded as Fin had drifted off to sleep too and Amanda again felt that sense of bliss that had hit her several times today. She turned her head towards Fin and watched his sleeping features. "Why couldn't they have it like this every night?" she thought to herself as bliss turned to a tiny turmoil in her gut. She watched his closed eyes intensely for a few moments to make sure he was really asleep.
"I love you," she whispered just to try it out. It didn't feel as good to say as she had hoped it would. It was something you should tell someone as they paid attention, not like something shameful in the night. She turned her head and watched the ceiling of Fay's room. The moon and the seven stars up there had lost their illuminate light by now but she could see their outlines with the light from the doorway. She'd laid here with Fay so many nights and the two of them had sent wishes to the stars as they drifted off to sleep. Amanda had learnt a long time ago that wishes rarely came through but she wanted her daughter to have that hope that they at least could and maybe in the process she would gain some hope back.
Fay was surely the biggest gift she'd ever gotten in her life and you would never catch Amanda complain about her life out loud but in her head she still hoped for something more. She wanted to be a part of a family. A functional one. She'd longed for it since she was a kid and she'd never felt so close to one as when she was with Fay and Fin. But she needed the validation now. This wasn't enough anymore and the thought felt in a way devastating since she figured Fin was still not ready for more.
New York was struck by a hard but short winter that year. The snow disappeared as quickly as it came, to Fay's dismay. She loved snow and went through a period when she was very fascinated with polar bears, Eskimos and the ice age. This led to the fridge 'accident' at Eva's place when Fay and Johnny emptied her fridge to play Eskimos. Her newly found fascination was also the reason she kept yelling out "qani" every time she saw a snowflake and "api" as she pointed to the ground. These were the Eskimo, or more politically correct Inuit words for snowflake and snow on the ground. They'd read it online as they explored the Inuit culture together. Fin told her to watch out so the kid wouldn't start speaking Eskimo before she spoke English.
Well no more qani for the season and the api would soon thaw out. And with that Fay re-directed her fascination back to unicorns. Springs early entrance also meant romance was back on the streets. People holding hands on the streets, sitting close together in the park and kissing in the street corner as the love birds came out of hiding. Of course Amanda was very aware of them since her own love life had been on her mind for several months now. But also since there was a spree of violence directed at these couples. It had moved a little over the city, jumping from borough to borough. And it was directed towards interracial couples. More specific, Hispanic men with white women.
Manhattan had two cases reported early spring, and at least ten were reported in other boroughs. There were four, sometimes five, men with hoods and bandanas that had jumped the couples to begin with. Both the male and female in the couple had been punched around while warned that they should stick to their own kind. As the crime spree reemerged in Manhattan a third time though it seemed the pattern changed or perhaps was refined. Now the female was sexually assaulted after the man had been given a bad beating and the case turned to fall underneath the SVU squad.
The assaults had always been during the weekends, Friday and Saturday evenings as couples walked back home or around after a dinner date. The victims varied from first time daters to married well over ten years. The similarity between them was the racial factor and that they had been holding hands or held on to each other when they were jumped. The descriptions of the perpetrators were vague. Average height and size, they wore hoods and their noses and mouths were covered with bandanas. They spoke fluent English but for some reason victims still thought they were Hispanic men. The bandana probably threw them off though, the first profiler thought the men were Caucasian. In the beginning they used only fists but lately they were using bats as well as knuckle brass causing even more severe physical harm to their victims.
Another five assaults were reported in Manhattan over the next three weekends and Cragen decided it was time to try a different method than having police cars in the area. They had after all the perfect undercover couple in their own squad.
Inwood and East Harlem had been the locations for these last couple of assaults and that's where they targeted their efforts. Cragen left Liv in charge of the operation and the plan was to have Nick and Amanda walk around the different areas at night time playing a couple. This meant Amanda had to work Friday night and possible Saturday too. She felt as though she used Eva enough already and instead figured she'd see if Ken and Alejandro were up for some overnight babysitting. Of course they were and even arranged a genuine bed for her to sleep in even if it was only for a night or two. Amanda was thankful they wanted too but also figured she was doing them a little favor. She didn't think it would take too long until they announced a kid of their own. They both were so in love with kids, especially Fay, and Amanda was sure they would be great parents. This would give them a chance to practice for their own.
She dropped her off in the afternoon and then drove over to the meeting point. They had a briefing the day before with everyone involved. These guys were quick and doing great harm so they needed to be on their toes. Liv and a technician would be surveillance bus while Fin and three other plain clothed detectives took turn on the street. Two unmarked cars with two detectives each would be standing by to jump in as well. The plan was to hit East Harlem first. Nick and Amanda would have dinner at the same place as another couple had visited before their assault. After dinner they'd walk the same route, if nothing happen then they'd have a drink at a coffee bar nearby and then keep walking around the area.
Amanda liked undercover jobs. She saw it as a chance to play someone else for a little while but still knew to keep focus and busting the bad guy was the best reward ever. Being a decoy often meant you got to take the perp out yourself and Amanda loved that. That rush as you got to turn from victim to detective to try and take the guy down. One of the best experiences in her job she figured.
Nick had a lot of experience with undercover work but had a different outlook on it than Amanda. He always felt tense and on alert and could never enjoy the experience until the day after when he knew the perp was behind bars. He knew you had to be able to trust your partner, especially during undercover work. He knew he would be left out there with Amanda and they were actually inviting these perpetrators to beat the shit out of him and sexually harass, or worse, Amanda. It wasn't a task he took lightly.
Doing it with Amanda, knowing he had to play as though they were in love and with her past experience with that shady chief of staff of hers in Atlanta made him feel extra nervous. He knew it was a job they were assigned but he didn't want to cross a line but still had to make it look real.
They had been able to use an empty lot in the neighborhood of the restaurant they were visiting. Nick had called in a reservation, making sure the waiter knew he wanted a nice table by the window for him and his date. He couldn't say my Caucasian girlfriend even if he wanted to. They had looked at the staff but still suspected someone tipped the perpetrators off and it would go quicker if Nick and Amanda hooked them early on.
Nick had been waiting outside the bus while Liv wired Amanda and then helped her slip into her dress. He took the time to put some more aftershave on while outside, figured it was something someone did to smell good for their loved one. It had been so long since he'd been on a date he felt a bit nervous. He thought maybe he should have worn a tie but straighten the collar of his shirt underneath his jacket and hoped he looked sharp enough to pass as Amanda's date. He'd left the door with a little gap and heard Liv say "All done, Nick" so he'd know it was safe to come back in.
Liv helped Amanda straighten one of the shoulder straps and then looked her over mostly to make sure the wire wasn't showing underneath but she couldn't help but reflect how good Amanda looked.
"You look really cute in this dress," Liv had to let her know. Amanda got a shy smile on her face and shook her head so her locks fell all over the place. Liv was about to say something since she could tell she made Amanda blush but Nick came over and interrupted them. He managed to swallow the 'wow' that was about to slip out as he laid eyes on Amanda and just shot the two ladies a smile. Amanda had a dark green dress on that showed just enough skin to be tempting. The heels made her legs look long and seductive. Her hair was curly and looked so soft you wanted to touch it. The color of the dress along with the rather heavy make-up made her eyes turn green somehow and she looked radiant all over.
"Will I pass?" he said and put out his hands. Liv shot him a look. He did look sharp in his pants, white shirt and jacket.
"As her date, nah," she winked and went over to their man at the control panel to check that Amanda's receiver worked as it should. Amanda stroked her hair behind her ears and gave Nick a smile.
"She's right but we're pretending so," he smiled at Amanda as he walked up to her.
"Yepp, are we ready?" she looked from Nick to Liv, anxious to get started.
"Give us another minute, we need to make sure you can hear us too," Liv said and looked back to the monitors.
"So just a quick question," Nick said grasping the moment to ask somehow what had been troubling him, "or guideline maybe. Since we're acting like a couple I might have to… well I'm just wondering where the line is so to speak." Liv overheard her partner's question and had an eye on them curious on how Amanda would respond.
"Stay away from the hoo-hoo and titts. A little ass action is okay but don't get too handsy," Amanda said frankly and was surprised how quickly it had all just slipped out and how she'd managed to sound so serious. She couldn't believe she'd used 'hoo-hoo' for the female organ though, it was the word she used with Fay and it had just slipped out. And who said 'titts' these days? Amanda hoped she hadn't made a fool out of herself.
Liv bit down a chuckle. She was impressed though. Straight answers were the best but it was a trait she was used to from men and not so much women. Perhaps she just didn't spend enough time around other women though?
Nick nodded and appreciated the straightforwardness. He'd been worried about exposing her to something that would remind her of what happen in Atlanta but now he felt at ease. Her professionalism impressed him.
"No hoo-hoo, no titts and just a little ass, that I can do," he smiled and Amanda could breathe once she knew he got her right. The technician guy shot Liv a look and then a smile as their eyes met. He'd found the brief exchange just as entertaining as she did.
Once they made sure the wires and ear pieces worked properly Nick and Amanda ducked out on to the street. Fin had been in the front of the bus but now joined Liv and the technician in the back. Amanda's outfit and all hadn't gone unnoticed by him. Of course she could turn him on in a muumuu but with just a little effort she was a complete knock-out to anyone who got the privilege to lay their eyes on her. Tonight was no exception. In fact, he wasn't sure he'd ever seen her quite this gorgeous and he caught himself wishing he could be the one taking her arm as he saw Nick do just that as they turned the corner.
They'd started out on a good note and it kept going that way. He offered her his arm just as they got out on the street since there was a crack in the pavement and once she grabbed it she didn't let him go. She had a thin, knitted cardigan on and he could feel her cold hand as he briefly grabbed it to get them over the crack.
"You're not cold are you?" he asked but she immediately shook her head.
"It's okay, I'll be fine," she said to let him know she wouldn't have a problem with walking around after dinner. It seemed her body just always had to adjust to the temperature but then she rarely felt cold or too warm. As long as you're not talking extreme heat or cold of course. Tonight would be fine and she was excited to get started. They just had to get through dinner first.
They took a stroll around the restaurant though beforehand hoping to attract some attention of the right people. Amanda held on to Nick's arm and they kept small talking about the neighborhood as they went, not loosing focus on the task at hand meanwhile though. Liv interrupted just once to let them know they had a suspicious man across the street. One of the plain clothed had spotted him and gave Liv the information to relay. They stopped underneath a street light to give him a good look at their skin tones in case he was interested. Nick gave her a hug and she let her hands snake around his waist. It felt a bit weird being so close to her and for a moment his mind was fully occupied with how good she smelled. He snapped out of it quickly though but started to chuckle and hoped it wouldn't be obvious that was his nervous chuckle. She smiled and just played a long having no idea what had just been on his mind.
The suspicious man turned out to not be so suspicious though as he met up with the friend he'd been waiting for. They made sure the two left the area though as Nick and Amanda walked hand in hand towards the restaurant. He held the door open for her and she shot him a smile. The head waiter greeted them at the door and took Nick's reservation before he guided them to their table. Nick was quickly there to hold out the chair for Amanda even though the waiter clearly had been ready to do it. Amanda thanked him and then the waiter as he handed her the menu. Nick took his place across from her. They had a perfect table for the occasion. The candle was lit on the table making it obvious it was a date and everyone in the restaurant could see them as well as anyone outside on the street.
Amanda got her cardigan off and hung it on the back of the chair. She was carrying a little purse that had fell to the floor once already since she was not used to be having one around. Captain was picking up the tab so they could order anything but they didn't want to spend the entire night at the restaurant and went straight for the main course. He asked what she was in the mood for but she had a hard time deciding. She was never hungry at the job, at least not when you were right in the middle of it, but decided to go with the broiled salmon after Nick had helped her with the semi-Hispanic menu. He went with the crusted sea bass so he could also order a bottle of white wine with their food. Nick also noticed they had mini bacalaitos on the menu and just had to order a plate for them to share.
It brought him back to his childhood. His mom had made the best bacalaitos. Amanda enjoyed hearing him tell her about how his mom made them, how the dish is common all over Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic and what seasonings was the best in his own opinion. He got really caught up and was happy when the waiter interrupted to serve them their wine. For a second he forgot there were actually people listening in. Amanda didn't mind though, it was just good that they had something to talk about. She hadn't been sure how well that part of the operation would work out but so far so good.
The waiter let Nick taste the wine and once he gave the approval of the bottle Amanda was served a full glass and then Nick. The waiter left the bottle in a bucket by their table. The bucket, the white cloth and the lit candle. Yes this had the looks of a real date. And then she reached out her hand and put it over his at the table. He looked from her hand and then up to her eyes and gave her a smile.
"What else did your mom make you? She sounds like a great cook?" she asked.
"Oh we don't have to talk about that," he said a bit embarrassed but still raised his hand a little so their fingers could entwine.
"Why not? We have a dinner to sit through," she said skipping on the part 'I'd love to hear more' and hoped he just got it anyway. He gave her a serious look but then quickly changed his demeanor and kept telling her about his mom's kitchen magic. They kept holding hands as Nick told her about how his mom did a bit of catering business since the neighbors liked her food so much. They had some wine meanwhile but knew to take it easy on the alcohol. Soon the waiter came with their bacalaitos and told them the main course would soon follow. Amanda let Nick feed her a piece of the mini pancake looking course.
"Hm, not bad, not bad at all," Amanda chirped to Nick's delight. He tried a piece himself and really savored the flavor in his mouth.
"Yeah these aren't bad," he said. "You should taste my mom's though. She makes the right size too," he winked at her and she smiled as she helped herself to another piece of the newly discovered dish. She wasn't afraid to try new things these days but as a kid she wasn't really treated to anything culinary. Her mom made pasta at the most and to that whatever can was closest to grab in the cabinet. Amanda started to learn simple dishes by herself to keep herself and her sister from going hungry. She learnt to handle the oven and stove by burning herself and the food multiple times. The microwave was a God sent once they got one. Today she enjoyed cooking though even if she would never claim to be good at it. Fin liked her cooking but the man was basically a human waste disposal, he'd eat anything put in front of him if he just was hungry enough. Fay was a good critic but she had refused Amanda's food at times.
Their food did arrive only minutes later and the next dish didn't disappoint either. Nick let Amanda have a taste at his bass by feeding her a fork and she gave him a taste of her salmon. They laughed at it and how cheesy they were acting, unaware that people in the restaurant were watching them and fully buying into them as lovers. Another one that was listening and thinking they got along a little too well tonight was Fin. He was still in the bus with Olivia and the technician and just waiting for them to leave the restaurant so he could get out of this claustrophobic bus. Liv could tell he was getting restless and told him to take a walk past the restaurant and have a look. Told him to keep a look out for anyone suspicious.
He regretted leaving the bus though as soon as he walked past the restaurant and spotted the two in the window. The candle catching Amanda's face making her skin glow and her hair shine. She looked awesome. And she looked as she was having fun, laughing at a joke Nick just made. A lame joke in Fin's opinion. He would never have laughed at that and neither would the Amanda he knew. He tried to focus on scanning the street, blocking out the voice of Nick trying to impress Amanda. He couldn't spot anyone suspicious and soon headed back to the bus. He took his hoodie off and changed into his regular jacket and put a cap on his head so he'd be ready to follow them after they left the restaurant. He took a seat next to Liv again and just waited.
"Guess who he blamed?" Nick asked and Amanda shook her head.
"Who?" she asked very intrigued by Nick's college story.
"Or I should say what. The school mascot."
"The octopus? Get out, and they bought it?" Amanda asked.
"Yupp," Nick said and smiled as Amanda laughed a little too loud and fell back into her chair.
"My Goodness," she whispered as she sat back up and put her fork in her food to have another bite.
"But I bet you never got caught in such an awkward predicament?" Amanda shot him a cheeky smile.
"Me? Never," he said and tried to look cheeky too but didn't do it as well as Amanda he imagined. He took another bite and scanned the street a little. He found himself forgetting from time to time why they were there. It had been a while since they had physical contact and Nick found his hand wander over to her side of the table. She wasn't slow to respond and their fingers entwined again. Nick shot her a smile as she took another bite of her food.
"How about you? Got any gory college stories to share?" he asked and was genuinely interested. They couldn't discuss work in case someone was listening in so, so far they'd discussed Nick's mom's cooking, how his mom still tried to adapt to the American culture and a story from Nick's college days. It was time for her to share something he figured.
"Nah, I mostly played softball and had my head in the books," she said and he thought he saw a hint of blush on her cheeks.
"Oh common you must have something?" he smiled. She took a breath and checked the street a little before her eyes came back to meet his.
"I was there on a scholarship, I got away from…," she left whatever she was thinking of saying unsaid and continued, "there was no way in hell I would risk anything to lose that dorm room."
She broke away from his gaze but looked back as he squeezed her hand a little. He gave her a warm smile and was awarded one back. He let go of her hand and before he really knew what he was doing he'd reached out and touched her cheek. She turned her head a little so she fell into his palm. It was a very intimate gesture and response and they both held it until it became awkward. He pulled his hand back slowly, caressing her skin with his fingers as he left and having the time to reflect how soft her skin felt underneath his fingertips.
"I need the can," she said abruptly but he still managed to get up before her and pulled out her chair like a gentleman. His hand brushed her arm before she departure and he kissed the side of her head so he could whisper 'just watch your back' to make sure she did. He sat back down and watched her pass through the restaurant as he took a small zip from his wine. It was a really good wine and he wouldn't have mind being able to empty the bottle. Especially not with this great food and the good company he had. He tried to get his mind back at the reason they were here in the first place and he scanned the restaurant to see if anyone was watching them. The restaurant was almost full but everyone seemed occupied with their dinner date and the two single eaters had their eyes on either their phone or a book by the side of the plate.
He went on to check the street but couldn't find anyone suspicious out there. He looked over towards the bathroom but still didn't see Amanda. He brought his napkin up to his mouth to cover when he asked whoever was listening if they had tabs on her. He soon heard Liv and she told him that Amanda was fine and on her way back out.
In the bus Fin sighed at Nick's concern about Amanda. 'You should have just gone with her if you that concern' he thought to himself but straighten up in his chair once Liv gave him a look. He feared he'd said it out loud but Liv turned her attention back to the control panel again. She checked in with the detectives out on the street. Nothing suspicious going on. She had really hoped they would have picked up something by now but at least no assaults had been reported in the neighborhood. Perhaps the perps had just taken a day or a weekend off?
Once Amanda was back at the table she put her fork and knife together as to signal she was done with her food.
"Had enough?" Nick asked with a smile and Amanda nodded.
"You want more wine?" he asked and she looked to her glass as she thought.
"Yeah," she finally settled with thinking she could handle some more wine. He refilled her glass and then his own. They clinked their glasses and then had a zip. The waiter soon came over to take their plates and took the opportunity to ask if they wanted dessert.
"I have that planned for somewhere else," Nick said with a grin and a wink towards Amanda to try and fool the waiter. They wanted to get back out onto the streets soon.
"Of course sir," the waiter said, "just let me know when you like to pay." Nick knew he had full tabs on just how much the wine bottle still held. They stayed put a while, nothing much were said but their hands connected.
"Maybe we should get going?" Amanda finally said as she felt a bit eager to get out of there. Nick nodded and got the waiter's attention. He used the bills Liv had handed him earlier and made sure to take the receipt. Amanda put her cardigan over her arm and grabbed her purse. Nick put his hand on her lower back and guided them out of there as Amanda shot a thank you towards the waiter who smiled back.
Just as they got out a cold breeze blew by and Amanda shivered slightly.
"You cold?" he asked but she shook her head and he watched as the street light caught her hair and made it lit up.
"No, just a breeze," she smiled back.
"Where to?" she asked and let him decide. Nick spotted one of the detectives down one way and chose the opposite way. He put his arm around her shoulders and they started to walk down the street.
"Food was good right?" he said after they'd walked a few blocks without spotting anything.
"Yeah it was, especially the bacalaitos," she said with a smile. He corrected her pronouncement accompanied with a squeeze around her shoulder to let her know it was just cute the way she said it.
"I just never had an ear for language," she said a bit embarrassed, "my daughter speaks Inuit though." He gave her a look and then a chuckle.
"Really?"
"Really. Well just a few words for snow but they're clearer than her English thus far," Amanda over pronounced 'thus far' to sound cultivated and it made Nick chuckle again. They walked another few blocks small talking about languages and Nick shared another funny story about a time his mom's bad English landed her in a bit of hassle. Amanda didn't get to hear the punch line to it though as Liv's voice came in their headpieces.
"Sorry to break you up but you might have picked up a prowler." Neither Nick nor Amanda made any sudden moves and just kept walking down the street. Amanda did find Nick's grip around her shoulder tense up a bit though, in a protective manner. They reached a small shop and stopped to look inside its window so they at the same time could get a glimpse on whoever was behind them. They saw a man with a hood pulled up over his head a little further down the street. He kept walking towards them a few steps but then seemed to stop to have a look at his phone. There could be something shady about him. Nick moved a little into Amanda so it looked as though he whispered something to her but it was just to cover up his actual plans.
"We'll stop by the next alley and see if he makes a move," he let Liv knew.
"Just be careful with alleys," Liv warned. Nick pulled Amanda with him and both kept big eyes on the alley in front of them. When they didn't spot anyone in there Nick pulled Amanda with him to the wall. Her back landed to the wall and he stepped into her as though he was about to kiss her. Her hands landed on his chest as one of his landed around her midsection and the other one against the cold brick wall beside her body.
"Tap my chest once he's behind us," he said right next to her. Cheeks so close they touched. He could feel her breath by his ear and all he could see, and smell, was her hair. She felt his chest rise and fall underneath her palms and she kept an eye on the pavement beside them. The hooded man came slowly towards them and when he was only two steps from them Amanda tapped his chest with her finger. Nick immediately spun around and was anticipating to fend off a blow to his body. But the hooded man just jumped back and seemed very spooked.
"Sorry man, you startled me," Nick smiled once he realized this wasn't one of the perps.
"I startled you?" the black man asked as he swiped his hood off his clean cut head.
"I'm sorry," Nick said again but the man just grunted and kept walking. Nick turned to Amanda with his hands out. She gave him a cheeky smile and then took a deep breath to get rid of some adrenalin that had just rushed through her body.
"Well that was fun," Fin sighed back in the bus and he got another look from Liv. What was his problem? she thought to herself and then called Derek, one of the other detectives, back to swop places with Fin. She needed to get rid of his restless being in the bus she felt and either way it was time to make a swap. Fin liked the idea, he had enough of hearing Nick breathing too close to Amanda's ear anyway.
Nick meanwhile extended his hand towards her and pulled her off the wall as soon as she grabbed it.
"Hey, why don't you head over to the coffee place and sit down for a bit?" Liv suggested and Nick shot Amanda a look to make sure she liked the idea too.
"Will do," Nick said without trying to move his mouth too much. They kept walking hand in hand the few blocks over to the designated coffee bar making sure to scan the streets and alleys as they went. The coffee bar had a large window area that made it easy for outsiders to see who was in there and what they were doing. There was two men ahead of them in line but Amanda stayed by Nick's side instead of taking a table so they could hold on to each other like she figured a couple in love would do. When it was their turn Amanda still hadn't made up her mind on what to get. They had loads of different types of coffees and brands. She loved coffee as much as iced tea and loved mixing it up.
Nick smiled at her excitement over all the different kinds and as she gave the guy behind the counter a compliment on everything up there.
"Okay, I'm done, I know what I want. Can I get a café hazel bombón but with just a little bit more coffee than milk?" Her smile grew wider as the guy nodded. The guy couldn't stop smiling either and Nick caught him checking her out later once he came over with their drinks.
"I'll have a plain coffee," Nick said and handed some bills over to the guy. Amanda gave him a look.
"What?" he asked. She kept looking at him and he couldn't help but chuckle.
"You've got all of that," she gestured towards the menu that took up the entire wall behind the counter, "and you go with a plain?"
"Well I happen to like plain," he said still smiling and took the change back from the counter guy. He dropped some of it in the cup that said 'tip' on the counter.
"Live a little Nick," she said but gave him a look that told him she was mostly kidding before she turned to get a table. He shot the guy a look and then headed her way. Again they sat by the window to attract eyes and before their drinks came over Nick had the time to get Amanda to tell him her favorite coffee experiences. She had a few from New York and one or two from Atlanta. It was fun to listen to her talk about something that excited her, even if it was just coffee.
She got him to laugh again a little later as she took the first zip of her bombón and let out a sound that took his imagination to dirty places. Nick caught the counter guy looking over with probably the same thought in his mind. There was a little When Harry met Sally over the situation and Nick enjoyed it.
"It's so good," she let the counter guy know like he didn't already.
"He already heard it," Nick said and chuckled. Amanda shook her head a little and pulled a few strands of her curly hair behind her ear to try and cover up her cheeks turning a bit redder.
"I have to stop doing that, Fay's picking it up and she's continuously doing it with milk and everything," Amanda admitted.
"It's nothing wrong with it. It's cute. Her doing it. And you," he said and made her cheeks turn even redder. He watched her with a smile as his mind wandered a bit.
He was so curious about Fay and who her dad was. Nick had never really seen her with anyone. Like with with. He thought he picked up something there when her old captain came to visit many years ago but once her whole Atlanta PD ordeal unraveled he felt bad for even thinking she would ever get with her own captain. And then it was Fin. Surely at some point they at least have had to crossed a line or two, they were so in sync. Almost made for each other really. But Fin couldn't be Fay's father right? I mean how could you keep something like that a secret? He'd seen that Rick or Ricky guy around a bit. Nick thought it was a friend of Fin but he'd seen Rick hug Amanda at times. He'd been around when they moved Amanda's stuff the other year and Nick had seen him at the bar from time to time always talking to either Fin or Amanda. Judging by Fay's complexion he could be the father.
"How's Fay doing by the way?" he asked to get his mind off what was none of his business. Amanda's face immediately lit up.
"She's doing well, really well," Amanda let him know.
"That's great. It was really scary what happen there back in November," Nick said and Amanda's smile dropped a little as she nodded.
"Yeah, really scary," she just echoed and then took a zip of her coffee.
"Kids seem to have an uncanny talent to jump back quickly though thankfully," Nick said after a bit of silence. He didn't want to bring her down but still was curious about Fay. Amanda nodded.
"So she's three right now right?" he asked and again she nodded. She scanned the street quickly and then put her hand on the table, palm up. He got the sign and put his hand in hers as he leaned forward. He wasn't sure if this meant she wanted to get off topic or if it was just to keep up appearance.
"Three going on thirteen everyone keeps saying. Is that true?" she suddenly said though and gave him a look as though he'd know. He chuckled.
"Not just yet I think. You have a few more years to enjoy. Zara's ten and that's more going on thirteen in my experience," he smiled.
"That bad eh?" she asked as she held her cup to her bottom lip.
"No, not really. She's a good kid. Three was a fun age though. Growing independent and all, still making all those humongous leap forwards in their developments," he reminisced.
"The terrible twos were over but if I recall right it was about four when she went through this phase where she wouldn't share anything with anyone. And she collected things. Wouldn't let me or Maria throw away anything. Not even dolls with missing heads," he chuckled at the memory of Zara falling asleep with a headless doll in her arms and still tears on her cheeks from the tantrum she'd just had when Maria tried to throw that doll away.
"No way," Amanda said, "Fay is such a hoarder right now." Nick chuckled at her use of hoarder to describe her own daughter.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah! Thankfully she shares stuff at school and all but at home. Geesh."
"Don't worry, it will pass," he calmed her with.
"You mean it eases? I thought hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throwing away anything, ever. I smuggle out broken crayons like a Mexican drug lord," Amanda said and Nick almost chocked on his own coffee as he started laughing out loud. Nick's laugh made Amanda start laughing too and their fingers entwined meanwhile.
Fin was listening in out on the street and let out a grunt. As he saw them laughing in the bright light of the coffee shop though he had to look away as he felt a thug in his gut. He didn't like this feeling.
"Can we like start doing what we came here for so we can get off the streets by the morning at least?" Fin asked into his microphone knowing it would only be the ones in the bus that would hear him.
"What's your problem?" Liv thought where she sat back in the buss but knew better than to say it out loud. Fin was so impatient which was rare, he was usually the laid back one with Amanda jumping at anything and everything. She thought about telling him they were doing what they came here for, using Nick and Amanda as bait, but she figured it was just better to ignore him.
Once they were done with their coffee Nick used the bathroom and then they headed back out. Nick caught the counter guy again checking out Amanda as they left and Nick closed the door behind them. He'd talked to Amanda while Nick was in the bathroom and as they got outside Nick put his hand to his mouth and told Liv that they might want to check the guy out. He fit the vague description.
"He paid Amanda a lot of attention," he let Liv knew.
"Do you blame him?" Liv answered without thinking and hoped she hadn't crossed a line. Foremost with Amanda. Amanda shot Nick a smile though as she heard Liv through her ear-piece. He kept her eyes with his as he got back to Liv.
"No but still," he simply said and then lowered his hand so he could grab a hold of Amanda's. She just shook her head with a smile and that annoying blush on her cheeks back.
They walked around for another three hours, only briefly sitting down on a park bench at one point and then at another time Nick lifted her up on a higher stone wall and rested by leaning into her with her legs on either side of his body. It was just one of several moments during the night that got him a bit hot and bothered. He wasn't sure if he'd ever had such an enjoyable time during an undercover operation.
At midnight Liv finally decided it was time to call it quits. All the assaults had been between seven and eleven pm. They'd never attacked any of the party people and Liv hoped it would stay that way. She called Nick and Amanda and the rest of the detectives back to the bus. Thankfully there were no reported assaults that fitted their criteria that night. Perhaps they'd just taken the night or weekend off but Liv still decided they would give it a try the next night too. And that they would stick with East Harlem seeing how most assaults took place there.
What they didn't know was that five men wearing hoodies with their hoods down and bandanas in their back pockets had searched the streets in Inwood that night looking for Hispanic men with blonde bombshells by their sides. The frequent drive-bys by police cars made them miss the only two opportunities they got though. One of the men was angrier than the rest as they headed back home to their own borough around ten pm. "We'll head back to East Harlem tomorrow," he let the rest know before they all shattered.
When Nick and Amanda came back to the bus Fin had already taken off. Amanda had planned to offer him a ride home since she knew he didn't have a car with him, and perhaps she might have stayed the night seeing how Fay wasn't waiting at home. But she figured he might be as tired as her and figured she'd see him tomorrow as they met Ken, Alejandro and Fay for lunch. They'd made the date earlier today. Amanda figured Ken and Alejandro would just be happy they would get to keep Fay another night and Amanda hoped Fay would be okay with it too.
Both Liv and Nick made sure Amanda got to her car properly after Liv had helped her get her wire off. Amanda had insisted she could get to her car without a chaperone but they still followed her. Liv knew that undercover and decoy work could attract weirdos and she wanted to make sure Amanda got out of there okay. Amanda waved at them as she drove off. On the way home she thought about the motif for these perpetrators they were after. Just like the profiler she'd immediately thought this was Caucasians. And probably not just young punks that were after a thrill. No these guys targeted Hispanic men first and foremost.
In the beginning the women had been left with just a single punch in the gut or held down with a knee or foot if they just didn't fight back. Then the women had gotten a bigger part as the perps started groping them, making them out to be sluts for letting 'that sort' touch her. And then two weekends ago it had gone from 'just' groping with hands to one of the men penetrating one of the women, he didn't have time to ejaculate though but they'd gotten a hair from the man as the woman's pubic hair was combed. They had his DNA for the time when they could finally arrest these bastards. This last weekend a woman had a bottle that one of the men found in the alley inserted between her legs. Amanda shivered slightly at the thought and pulled up her car window to keep the cold breeze outside.
She'd never got racism. Okay she got how it worked and that people hated each other simply cause the color of their skin. She got hate, she'd hated people and circumstances but just because the color of someone's skin? She did not get that. She'd met assholes from every culture, it came from the inside – the bullshit. The color of your skin didn't determine how much bullshit you had on the inside.
But she did come from Georgia and she knew there was plenty of racism in her home state. Growing up in Loganville she'd been blissfully unaware for a number of years. If she recalled right in her hometown, with a population less than 10,000 people, the demographic had been more than 80 % whites. Today it was down to about 70 % but still not good enough. The town was segregated for sure. She'd gone to an all white elementary school where the adopted Russian boy in the grade above her stood out most. And he was white as a sheet from what she could recall. With only two public high schools in town though she'd seen racism up front. And she'd done nothing about it which she thought of as being a part of the problem.
Atlanta wasn't any better. Profiling certainly existed in the police department. Probably everywhere though and in New York too. But it was talked about more in New York even if she'd seen more of it with her own eyes in Atlanta. Talking about the problem was a good thing though. In a city, Loganville, where the motto is Where people matter they should probably approach the matter of racism a little harder so they could brag about something else than that they got a TJ Maxx twenty years ago.
During her younger years she hadn't seen much of any racism though. Her mom scolded and trash talked everyone, not specifically black people but Amanda had heard her use 'negro' form time to time which Amanda believed was a slur and not a word you should use.
One of her dad's drinking buddies had been African American. Lewis. She remembered him, she'd liked him. He wasn't a mean drunk like the rest of 'em. He'd taught her the 'High five, to the side, the other side, down low, too slow' rhyme or game or whatever it was called. Being drunk though he'd only caught her being too slow a few times before she caught up and hit him every time. It had only made him laugh out loud though, showing of that missing tooth of his. He'd died. Alcohol killed him. She remembered it well since it was that week's topic when her mom yelled at her dad. She usually blocked it out but for some reason this one stuck with her and she could still hear her mom's voice saying it; "It will kill you just like that negro friend of yours. I'll come home, or one of the girls, and you'll be here dead. Choked on your own vomit."
Amanda hadn't known until then that alcohol could kill you and certainly not that vomit could. It was in a way good to know but it had made her freak out every time she heard her dad throw up which was rather often. She was six years old.
Again Amanda shivered and she checked the temperature in the car as she tried to get back to business. These assaults. They needed to stop them, and yesterday. Well hopefully tomorrow Amanda thought as she drove down her parking garage and she suddenly felt very sleepy. She couldn't wait to get straight to bed and it felt kinda good Fay wasn't at home. She couldn't wait to see her at lunch tomorrow though.
The following day Amanda took the subway over to Ken and Alejandro's part of the city. She'd slept too long she didn't have time for a run and she figured at least this way she'd get some distance in her legs. She needed to be back in East Harlem by 5:30 so she figured she would have plenty of time to go back home after lunch and get ready for tonight's operation. Amanda got to the restaurant Ken had picked out first of everyone. It didn't take long until she saw Ken and Alejandro walking in though, Fay on Alejandro's arm sporting a new cute hoodie with zebra print and ears on her hood. They always got Fay the cutest clothes. And she loved being on Alej's arm. As soon as she saw her mom though she wiggled her feet to get put down and came rushing over and jumped in her mom's arms.
With Fay still around her neck she got up to greet the grown-ups and she got a kiss on the cheek from Ken and then Alejandro. She pointed at Fay's new hoodie with a smile. Alejandro gave her a mischievous smile and winked with his gorgeous eyelashes as he usually did to get out of trouble.
"Hey precious, how was the sleep-over at Ken's and Alej's?" Amanda asked once she was seated again and Fay finally let her go so she could look her in the eyes.
"Good," Fay said simply and got up to stand on her legs so she could reach her mom's ponytail. Of course she had spotted her hair was curly. So had Alejandro.
"Your hair is gorgeous like that," he let her know as they got situated next to her.
"Thanks, it's for the undercover operation though," Amanda said and tried to brush it off a little.
"God that sounds so exciting," Alejandro chirped, "what are you? A hooker or something?" Ken let out a loud chuckle and Amanda smiled as she shot him a look.
"Oh God I'm sorry, I did not mean you look like a hooker or anything, my head just wandered," Alejandro said and put a hand on her arm.
"Don't worry about it," Amanda smiled, "I've been there too but yesterday I was just dolled up." Fay lost interest in her hair as Ken had started laughing and climbed down only to climb up on the chair next to Amanda that Ken had left open for her. Ken touched Fay's cheek endearing as she sat down properly.
"She's been good?" Amanda asked.
"The best, right Fay?" Alejandro said and got a nod from Fay.
"Everything's been really good, she asked about you last night but she fell asleep just fine," Ken let her know and it made her happy to hear.
"Well do you mind doing it all over for another night? We have to go out tonight as well," Amanda made a sorry face but Ken and Alejandro looked quite the opposite.
"We would love to, Al was actually saying how much he wanted to check out that children's museum you talked about and it would be less suspicious if Fay tagged along for that," Ken gave her a wink and Al looked overjoyed.
"So sweetheart, is that okay with you?" Amanda asked and got Fay to look at her. "Mama has to work tonight so you'll sleep at Ken's and Alej's another night?" Fay just looked at her a little confused. She gave Al a quick look and then turned to Ken. She made her eyebrows go that way Ken had seen his dad do so many times before and it always made him smile when he saw it on the little girl.
"Pajama party," Fay then said suddenly and it made Ken chuckle again.
"Yes, we'll have another night of pajama party," Ken said and again had to touch her cheek. Fay gave her mom a smile and then puckered her lips like she did when she wanted a kiss but not before she said;
"Miss you."
"Well I'm not going just yet my dear," Amanda smiled and placed her lips on her daughter's, "we'll have lunch and we're going to the park afterwards remember?"
"I remember," Fay said but had already moved on to explore what was on the table. A waiter came up to them and asked if he could get them anything to drink as he placed some crayons and a piece of paper in front of Fay, she immediately lost interest in anything else on the table. The grown-ups looked at each other and then Ken checked his watch. Fin was late but that was usual.
"Well I guess we can get drinks at least?" he said to the others and then turned to the waiter, "we're waiting for a fifth person but we'll do drinks. What do you want Fay Fay?" They ordered drinks and then Amanda turned her attention to her daughter and told her what a beautiful hoodie she had and asked if it was a gift from uncle Ken and Alejandro. Fay nodded at the same time as she tried to move a blue crayon with her left hand simultaneous with a red one in her right. It wasn't working that good but she looked darn cute trying to.
"I saw it and I just had to buy it for her, it was the last one they had and it was just her size so it was destiny I tell you," Alejandro chirped. Amanda had noticed Ken lip-adding to 'it was destiny' and she smiled as she figured it wasn't the first time he'd heard it. Oh how she loved these two men and they were such a cute couple.
They kept small-talking a bit, got their drinks and by twenty past Ken checked his phone again.
"Why can't he ever be on time?" he complained. Ken wouldn't have a problem if it was just the grown-ups but there was a three year old present and it wasn't fair to her to keep her grounded on a chair for too long.
"I'll try calling him, see where he's at," Ken said and brought his phone up to his ear. It kept ringing until it finally went to voice mail. Ken left a short message that let Fin know they were waiting for him at the restaurant and then hung up.
"Did it run late last night?" Ken asked Amanda. She shrugged her shoulders.
"She's here though," Alejandro said since he found it rude Fin being late to their lunch date and it wasn't the first time either.
"Okay, let's just order, he'll catch up when he gets here," Ken said and reached for the menus. He handed them out and Amanda tried to get Fay to look at some of the dishes on the menu. She found a drawn fish in the swirly pattern on the side of the menu though and made a happy sound as she pointed on it. She found another one and then another and Amanda had some trouble reading the menu with Fay's arm in the way but she managed having been through it before. Amanda got a chicken salad for herself and a pasta dish for Fay. Alejandro ordered a salad too while Ken went for a warm sandwich.
The food had time to arrive before Ken finally got a sign that his dad was alive. He got a text that simply said he wasn't going to make it. They left it at that not wanting it to spoil their lunch. The food was really good and as normal Fay wanted to share her food. This time though Amanda got a pass as Ken was nearby too and Fay chuckled as she put her fork in Ken's mouth and he made a delightful sound. She was such a little charmer.
A little later they were all at the park. Amanda came back over to the bench were Ken was sitting, having left her daughter in the safe hands of Alejandro as she climbed up the play set. Amanda heard Fay scream something that sounded like 'Mama' and 'Ken' and right before she sat down she turned and saw her daughter wave at her from the very top of the play set. She waved back and so did Ken. She had a seat about an arm's length from him and shot him a smile.
"I can't believe how much she's growing and evolving," Ken said as he looked back over at Fay.
"I know," Amanda said with her eyes also back on Fay.
"And her speech, it's coming a long great," Ken said and out of the corner of his eye he saw her nod.
"Thanks for warning me about chips though," Ken chuckled and met Amanda's eyes.
"We had it for dinner last night and Al almost put his milk in the wrong pipe when she said it. It was funny," Ken said and kept chuckling as he recalled Al's face.
"Yeah it cracks your dad up also," Amanda let him know and then turned her head back to her daughter who now went down a slide only to speed back up the play set again with Al right behind her.
"If you don't mind me asking, how are things going with you two or you three really?" Ken asked and hoped he wouldn't offend her by bringing it up. He felt as though he could talk to her about almost anything but this subject he'd never touched on. She was taken a back a little by the question but she loved Ken and knew it was out of concern he asked.
"Things are," she started but lost track as she met his eyes and realized she didn't know the answer to that question.
"I don't know really," she finally admitted. Ken nodded.
"I can't believe he didn't show up today, who'd want to miss spending time with that little bundle of joy?" he said and they both shot Fay a look where she was over at the swings now.
"He does spend time with her though, he's around quite a lot," she said to Fin's defense. Ken gave her a serious stare though that she had to look away from finally as it felt as though he pierced right through her, just like his dad did at times.
"But he's still not officially her dad right?" Ken asked and after a bit of hesitation Amanda could only shake her head a little. Ken sighed.
"So I knew he was my dad but he was never around. Fay has him around but doesn't know he's her dad. Honestly I'm not sure what deal sucks more," Ken grunted. Amanda thought about what he just said.
"What happens when she starts asking about her dad? I mean she's speeding up with her talking, loads of questions in that little body already, it will probably start sooner than you think. Then what will you say?" he asked and it was just the questions that troubled Amanda when she thought too much. Ken's arm landed on the rim of the bench, his fingers just reaching her shoulder. Amanda shot him a look and hoped he couldn't see the tears in her eyes as she just shrugged her shoulders.
"You never talk about it?" he asked and she shook her head. Ken sighed.
"He's such a coward when it comes to serious talk, he's always been."
"He's not the only one to blame in this situation though," Amanda jumped in as she felt she was just as big of a coward in that department. She couldn't handle holding his gaze and looked over at her daughter up on that swing. Alejandro was pushing her and Amanda could tell Fay wanted to go higher but he was afraid something would happen if she went any higher. She felt Ken squeeze her shoulder gently and she looked back over at him.
"I'm here for you, you know that right? For Fay but also for you if you need anything. Fay connects us, not my dad. Just know that. I love the two of you," Ken said and Amanda felt her eyes tear up. She couldn't believe how honest he was and without showing any weakness on his face. She wished she had that in her too. Ken could see he made her emotional.
"And that big goof loves the two of you as well," he said to light things up and pointed towards Alejandro who was making funny faces at Fay every time her face popped up behind the swing. Amanda chuckled a little. Before the moment was lost though she caught Ken's hand on her shoulder and held it hard for a while.
"Thank you Ken," she said and gave him a serious look. Ken just nodded and gave her a smile.
As she made her way back home a while later she thought about how different Fin and Ken were as people. She could see some physical resemblance but father and son had such different personalities. She'd already figured out though that Ken took much from his mom and Amanda would get another experience of that the following week as Teresa out of the blue called her up and asked if she liked to come over for dinner one night. Just her and Fay, no Fin, Teresa made clear. Amanda accepted before she could think it over properly which was probably a good thing since she might have chicken out otherwise.
Amanda figured Ken had told his mom something about the playground and the talk they had there and that Teresa would probe. But she didn't. She'd just made a delightful dinner for the three of them and then they'd headed over to Teresa's neighbor who just happened to be a hairdresser used to working with afros. She'd made small braids in some of Fay's hair that now finally had gotten long enough so it weight itself down a little. Teresa had earlier taught Amanda to handle Fay's hair but Amanda had never mastered the art of those tiny braids. Fay was so good, sitting still almost the entire time and was happy with the purple beads she'd chosen herself for the tips of the braids. After Amanda made sure the neighbor didn't want any money for the work she'd done they headed back to Teresa's place.
They had coffee and then Teresa had told Amanda almost the same as Ken had told her at the playground. That she was there for her no matter what Fin did or didn't do. Amanda felt blessed. She'd figured she had these three people in her life but now they'd all made it clear for her. No reason to doubt and that felt good. Why couldn't that be the case with Fin?
But now it was still Saturday and Amanda got herself dolled up for yet another date night with Nick. It had been fun last night, both the work part and the chance to sorta play date. She hadn't dated for a long time and it felt odd but also… exciting. She'd chosen a one shoulder dress for tonight, in deep purple. It wasn't hers but as she watched herself in the mirror she sorta wished it was. She felt comfortable in it but also a bit sexy. Her hair still had some curls from yesterday and she pinned it up with some hair clips she'd found in the bottom of her toilet bag. She put her regular shoes on and grabbed the high heels in her hand and headed down stairs to get her car.
She got to the sight early and to her surprise she spotted Fin sitting on the hood of another car on the empty lot where they had their surveillance bus hidden. She parked, got out and walked over to him.
"Hi stranger," she said, still feeling refreshed from the lunch and playground visit with Ken, Alejandro and Fay. When he looked up he eyed her a little too long behind his sunglasses without changing his face and she got a strange feeling in her gut.
"All dolled up for another night turning tricks I see," he said and she didn't like his tone of voice. She chose to ignore him as she put her high heels on the hood next to him so she could found whatever it was that was irritating a spot on her shoulder blade.
"Where were you today at lunch?" she asked once she couldn't find anything where the itch had been.
"Maybe I was on a date," he said without looking at her.
"What's your problem Fin?" she said having enough of his childish behavior. He gave her a look with those stupid sunglasses still on even though it was getting dark. He quickly turned away though as Liv peaked out of the bus.
"Great you're here. Want me to hook you up?" she asked and Amanda nodded.
"Give me a sec?" she asked and Liv nodded before she disappeared inside the back of the bus again. Amanda turned her eyes back at Fin. She waited for him to say something.
"Why didn't I know that thing about Fay and her crayons?" he suddenly asked and Amanda didn't get what he meant at first. She was about to ask 'what?' when she realized he must be talking about what she'd shared with Nick last night.
"Well, you're not there 24 hours a day Fin," she said.
"You could have told me," he said without looking her way.
"Well I'm sorry but it didn't cross my mind. I mean new things happen every day. She's growing constantly. You see her, what, like twice a week. I'm with her every day, every night. And frankly when I see you alone you're not really keen on discussing her so I don't think it's fair you blame me for that." It looked as though he listen to her but she couldn't really tell as he still wasn't looking straight at her.
"I want to know stuff like that," he said. He didn't sound sad or anything though, he still had an accusation in his voice and it rubbed her the wrong way.
"Well then man up Fin," she said and he finally turned his head towards her, "or at least grow up." She grabbed her shoes and headed for the bus. She wasn't sure if she'd been fair to him but with the Ken talk still fresh in mind and her debating her relationship with Fin inside her head for months it had all just boiled over. What she'd said was the truth. She needed him to man up. She wanted him to man up. But with the way he behaved just now she feared that would never happen.
XXX
Hope you liked it, part 2 will be up in a day or two.