10/10/2013 - What's a duck to do when a vital piece of clothing goes missing?
Mallory fell back into the overstuffed, white leather chair with a relaxed sigh as she put her feet up on the matching ottoman. They had just won a very difficult game against the Quahogs and she was exhausted as well as starving.
On home game nights, Kari and the rest of the kitchen staff would cook up a post game meal. Tonight, in a twist of irony, it was clam chowder with cheddar biscuits. These meals were always served in the privacy of the player lounge, a safe haven from the prying questions and cameras of newscasters.
Carefully balancing the bowl of soup, a biscuit, and the remote, she flipped channels until she found one broadcasting their game. Duke was on the screen, talking to a sea of microphones thrust under his beak. Bits of Duke's hockey gear hung on the hooks of his stall behind him. He still wore his black body suit. It was with a small bit of amusement that Mallory noticed him combing through his rather flat, sweaty hair with his fingers in an attempt to make it look better on screen.
"Yeah," the gray drake nodded. "It was tough. But Nosedive and Mallory did a great job with the assists."
"And how do you feel about that penalty called against-" The reporter halted his question at Duke's puzzled and distant gaze as something off camera caught his attention. The camera swung around to broadcast an almost-naked Nosedive for all of the fangirl's enjoyment.
Nosedive's hair was soaking wet and plastered to his face. A white towel wrapped around his waist was the closest thing to clothing he had donned. That normally cheerful, prankish face wore an annoyed frown.
"Uh, problem, Nosedive?" Duke raised an eyebrow.
Wildwing running through the lounge distracted Mallory from the screen. He bolted through the room at near top speed before reaching the door on the other side. After opening it, he paused and turned around, jogging through the lounge once more. He stopped at the refrigerator and removed something leafy and green from the interior, stuck the vegetation in the freezer, and turned to leave. The smell of clam chowder caused him to stop and inspect the food Kari had left out for them. Smiling, he lifted the lid of the soup tureen and inhaled the delicious aroma. A quick glance towards the door seemed to settle the agitated drake and he calmly walked across the room once more, heading for the exit.
"Care to explain what that was all about?" Mallory was beyond perplexed. She'd expect this behavior from Nosedive, not Wildwing. Besides, it was completely unlike him to go running around in his still smelly, green bodysuit. At her question, the hand holding some sort of black cloth quickly vanished behind his back.
"Uh, no." It was amazing how much he looked like Nosedive when he smiled like that. "You didn't see me in here, okay?"
"Um... Okay?" She tilted her head curiously.
"That's an order, McMallard," he jokingly laughed as he once more opened the door and left the player lounge, jogging down the hallway and glancing both ways to make sure nobody else had seen him.
"Something smells good," Tanya's voice came from the kitchenette area. The blond tech ladled a serving for herself into her bowl and snagged a biscuit before sitting down on the loveseat catty-corner to Mallory's chair. "Guess Duke got the short end of the hockey stick this time, huh?"
"Looks like it." Mallory took another bite of soup. "We'll probably all have to go back out there in a little bit and sign autographs if Phil has anything to say about it."
"Please, no," Tanya groaned, her head tilting back to rest on the couch cushion. "I've had enough for tonight."
"All right," Nosedive demanded as he stormed into the player lounge. "Where are they?"
"Where's who?" Mallory questioned. Upon turning around, she saw that he was still in the state of undress he'd displayed on television earlier. "Nosedive! Go put some clothes on!"
"I'd be happy to, Mal-o-ry. Just give me back my underwear!"
"Why would I even want your underwear?" She turned back to her meal and the television, dismissing his demands.
"I don't know, but someone took it! I already checked the cooler in the locker room and the ice box in the hallway." He growled in frustration as he crossed his muscular arms over his bare chest. "Duke's been with those reporters since the end of the game, so I know he didn't do it. Grin never plays pranks and Wildwing wouldn't come up with something like this. So, that leaves you or Tanya."
"Did you try the refrigerator?" Tanya asked, shocked at the blatant dismissal of an agreed upon rule. Nobody appeared outside of the showers without their body suits at the minimum. It was a basic courtesy since both genders shared the locker room and dressing room.
"Tanya," he seemed surprised. "You?" Nonetheless, he opened the refrigerator and checked.
"No, I didn't steal your underwear." Tanya did nothing to hide her condescending tone.
Upon discovering nothing other than food in the stainless steel appliance, Nosedive investigated the freezer. Frowning, he pulled out the leafy green that Wildwing had stashed in there moments ago.
"He's gonna get it," Nosedive smirked as he slowly shook his head back and forth.
"Who?" Tanya had missed the whole Wildwing-running-through-the-room incident.
"Wildwing." He held up the palm-sized foliage. "I put cabbage on his sandwich instead of lettuce yesterday. Where'd he go?"
"Haven't seen him," Mallory tried to hide her smile behind a cheesy biscuit. "Might want to check the rink. He could have left it on the ice."
Sighing in frustration, the young duck left the lounge, still searching for his underwear. As soon as the door closed, Mallory burst out laughing.
Tanya stared at her teammate through purple-tinted glasses, perplexed by her reaction. She had half a mind to go scold Nosedive for appearing in the lounge as naked as the day he hatched, even if he did have a towel wrapped around his waist.
"Wait," the blond's eyes suddenly went wide. "Do you think he's actually going, to, you know, check the rink?"
"If he does," Mallory tried to get her smile under control so she could enjoy some more soup. "You can be sure it'll end up on TV!"
End AN: Yet another prank inspired by real life! Check out the youtube video "Have you seen Paul Bissonnette's Missing Underwear?" if you would like to see the inspiration for this tale.