Sue Ellen only required one look, one view of her sister's appearance from a distance, in order for everything to make sense; why Kristin had contacted Pam, of all people, and why she had returned to Dallas - Kristin was childless. Any resentments Sue Ellen harboured for her younger sister's betrayal were immediately erased. "The baby died," Kristin confirmed, her voice barely audible.
"Kristin... I'm so sorry," Sue Ellen automatically embraced the grieving mother with sympathetic warmth. It surprised her, somewhat, how sincere her statement was. After all, Kristin's child wouldn't have merely been her niece or nephew but her step-child, fathered by J.R., and a definite crack in her marriage. Still, Sue Ellen mourned the loss of her sister's unborn child. How her husband would react to the loss, Sue Ellen couldn't be sure but she momentarily steered her mind away from him. "How?"
"The doctors don't know the exact reason. Apparently, I mustn't blame myself." Kristin bitterly relayed the advice of the nurse after the delivery of such callous news.
"You shouldn't!" Pam insistently interjected, after her silence upon the sisters reunion. "Women miscarry for any number of reasons and it isn't their fault." Kristin curled her lips into a small, thankful smile, which soon evaporated. "I'll leave you two to catch-up," Pam eventually backed away.
Kristin paced toward the window of her hotel room which overlooked the crowded streets of Dallas, and exhaled. "Pam's been very kind. I didn't have anyone to turn to when I came back to Dallas. I knew I couldn't face mama. When I found out you and J.R. had left Southfork, I planned to fly back to California but Pam insisted I stay here until you returned." She matter-of-factly faced Sue Ellen, "I don't think I could ever repay her. It must have cost her a small fortune to hide me out here, especially without Bobby knowing."
"Pamela's always been one to think of others," Sue Ellen noted in agreement. "Don't you worry about her and Bobby; I'm sure you would be the least of their problems." She carefully set her purse to one side and seated herself on the bed, soothing the unbearable ache in the soles of her feet. There was an injustice in her six-month pregnant belly. "Kristin, I don't know what I can say to comfort you. I must admit, I'm curious as to why you came back to Dallas. We were on such bad terms when you left for California." There was little love and certainly no trust between the two sisters, regardless of Kristin's horrific loss.
"I'm not sure why," Kristin admitted, "Maybe, I need my sister."
"What about J.R.?" Sue Ellen addressed the elephant in the room, "He deserves to know, too. The baby was his, wasn't it?" Kristin softly nodded her head, ashamed. A part of her wondered whether the baby's death had been her punishment for the cruelty she had inflicted on Sue Ellen. "Would you like me tell him?" Once again, Kristin nodded her head. She was surprised, too, that J.R.'s private eyes wasn't observant as he perceived them to be.
"You must hate me. I did all I could to rip your family apart at the seams," Kristin verbalised her shameful behaviour.
"I don't hate you, Kristin. I could never hate you," she gingerly conceded. "You're my sister. We're family. Besides, J.R. and I have had plenty of time to reflect and we've reached a point in our relationship where we're able to dispose of all those bad memories. This baby has been a new start." Instinctively, her hand curled over the curve of her stomach and Kristin's envy was visible. She had been abandoned to nurse her wounds alone and the bereavement had taken its toll. The world rested heavy on her shoulders, her eyelids heavy and rimmed with raw, redness. "What will you do?"
"I'll visit mama, eventually." Grief would subside and, once it had, Kristin would return to their mothers' arms with a wide smile and expert pretence.
"Mama doesn't know about the baby, does she?" Kristin shook her head. "Oh, Kristin..." she muttered, concerned and disappointed.
"It'll only be temporary, until I can find my own place. I made friends in California, I may fly back out there in a few months. I worked in a bar a while ago, they promised to rehire me once the baby was born." Her childlike sense of adventure had been lost, her future bleak. She looked worn out. Her eyes rejected Sue Ellen's worry and she retrieved the box stuffed with baby clothes, toys and accessories she had purchased. "Here, I have this for you. Most of the clothes are suitable for a boy or girl, and there are a few soft toys, too."
Sue Ellen vigorously shook her head, "Kristin, I couldn't."
"Of course you could," Kristin persisted, unaffected. "J.R. paid for it, you may as well keep it. Please, Sue Ellen, it's the least I can do."
Contemplation consumed Sue Ellen, until she countered Kristin's offer. "Alright, I'll accept these on one condition. You stay in Dallas. Come back to Southfork with me."
"Sue Ellen, don't be ridiculous!" Kristin cried, her eyes widened in disbelief. "I'm not welcome at Southfork. Hell, I'm not welcome in Dallas!" She wasn't certain whether the Dallas Police Department had cause to arrest her for attempt murder, or whether J.R. had nipped their inquiries in the bud. "It's a miracle Pam's been able to hide me here without a word to Bobby or Jock." Kristin didn't dare to consider the patriarch's wrath.
"Kristin, please," her elder sister appealed further. "You should be with family at times like this."
"I will be, I'll be with mama." Kristin squeezed Sue Ellen's outstretched hand, her sister all-too-forgiving. "You should concentrate on yourself, not me."
Although Sue Ellen couldn't pinpoint the reason why, there was a desperation to establish a sisterly bond she and Kristin had never truly shared. The past year had caused considerable differences in herself, J.R. and Kristin too. It eased her mistrust and paranoia. "Please, Kristin, let me take care of you. That's why you came back, isn't it, because you needed me?" Kristin sat beside her, as per Sue Ellen's urging, and she wrapped an arm around her sisters shoulders. "Well, here I am."