Disclaimer: Don't own it. Wish I do, but I don't. Oi, don't you rub it in, or I'll…I'll…I'll take away your books! Yeah, that's right, survive without them…please don't take away my books…
A/N: I have been thanked for existing, and Dial M for Marauder got weird looks for laughing at it in public, so I am definitely writing more of this. Also, it's bloody brilliant (turned into Ron for a moment there…) that people are reading this, knowing it's a little bizarre, but still think it's worth sticking with :D I am honoured that I am, indeed, ninja, and hope to continue to be so ^-^ Also, THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SLASH. You have been warned.
Part Four: Obliviate is best served cold with an extra helping of common sense and a side of dangerous arch nemesis in possession of revealing information (wow, these titles are getting longer… O.o)
"Detention, my good man, is good for the soul!" James cried importantly from his position standing on the sofa by the fireplace, a green finger stuck in the air to make his point, "This, Moony, will be your inauguration into manly manhood!"
"Aye, it is!" Sirius exclaimed, joining James and earning a chorus of sighs from the girls and a few of the boys, taking the time to admire the nearly-naked body of their House's local sex god, "We shall join Minnie McGoogly in the depths of hell! Battle the most evilest of demons!"
Remus turned his back, having no reply even with Sirius' boisterous personality inside his mind, looking to Lily and rolling his eyes. She chuckled and watched as the werewolf spun on his heel and fell into armchair opposite Sirius and James who were both occupied with crouching on the back of their sofa, telling epic tales of their various detentions. Meanwhile, a blonde fifth year had perched on the arm of Remus' chair and smiled down at him shyly. He stared at her expectantly until she gestured over to a group of giggling girls across the common room.
"My friends," she said hesitantly, "know I…um…like you and…"
"Sorry, love," Remus smirked, reaching out a hand behind him and plucking someone from the crowd, yanking them onto his lap unceremoniously, "I'm taken."
The girl blinked, seeming to be in shock. Sirius could be heard saying, "and then we grabbed it by the tentacle and forced the spinach back inside before Slughorn turned back round…" before trailing off and quietening with the rest of the room as they all looked around to see Remus Lupin with a red haired boy sat in his lap, looking more than a little surprised at being referred to as Remus' other half.
"You're, err…" the girl said weakly. Remus' smirk morphed into an easy, lopsided smile.
"Gay?" he asked innocently, not seeing Sirius frozen on the sofa opposite, staring at him in shock; no one who was close to Remus would have thought he would ever come out of the closet, yet here he was, announcing it to the whole House. James and Sirius shared a look, both briefly wondering if it was because of the spell put on the other boy. But no, the dare was that he speak his own thoughts in Sirius' words. Definitely Remus speaking.
"Obviously," Remus was continuing, "James is letting me borrow Lils here whilst she's stuck with a cock." He grabbed Lily's arse suddenly, making her jump and squeak, turning bright red, "Absolutely no interest in those lumps of squishy fresh sticking out on your chest, whatsoever."
"REMUS J. LUPIN." James roared, leaping from the sofa and making a move towards Remus, but the werewolf was too fast, tipping Lily onto the floor without so much as a warning and jumping behind Sirius, who was now standing beside the bookshelf near the staircases to the dorms. Sirius snapped out of his surprise and pushed James absent-mindedly back onto Remus' abandoned armchair.
"We've got detention." He told his friends distractedly, "Come on, or we'll be late."
James and Remus gave Sirius questioning looks, but followed – along with Lily – when he exited through the portrait hole and started off toward McGonagall's office. Lily caught up with the brooding boy as James and Remus bickered over ownership of her/his arse.
"That was…surprising." She said quietly. Sirius shrugged.
"Never thought he'd do that." He admitted.
"Well, he has. He's come out to his schoolmates. Now there's nothing standing in your way. Oh, wait, yes there is. You need to tell him." Lily urged, "It's only fair. And anyway, I want to win that bet."
"There's no way, Red." Sirius laughed in amusement, "No, I'm not telling him. Not yet, anyway. Not until we're all ourselves again and Remus can speak normally as himself."
Lily narrowed her eyes, "I will win this."
"Unlikely." Sirius smirked, "I will win because I am sexy and my sexiness always wins by default. Anyway, you should be worrying about your dare, not my love life."
"I haven't had a dare for today." She frowned suspiciously. Sirius lifted a finger and raised his eyebrows as they approached McGonagall's office.
"Oh, really?" Sirius asked in mock concern. He stopped suddenly, causing James to walk into him and almost fall over. The three looked at Sirius as he grinned back, waiting expectantly and well aware that they were now late for their detention.
"I dare Evans to get a date with a girl." He announced smugly, "By midnight tonight."
"What?" Lily snapped in outrage, "This is punishment for the bet isn't it?"
"What bet?" James asked, looking between Sirius and Lily with a slight frown. Remus stepped up and put his hands up to silence them all.
"It has been done!" he said imperiously, "Sorry, Evans, but if you don't do the dare, it's the forfeit for you. Get ready for a bucket load o' grease, darling."
"That isn't fair." Lily growled, advancing on Sirius. He grinned at her, looking more than a little insane, so she switched tactics and advanced on Remus instead, "You! If I'm out of this game, then I'm at least going to win this bet! Tell him! Tell him that you want to shag him, that you're—"
"ARGH!" James squawked, "WHAT?"
"Yes, of course, Lils," Remus snorted with a roll of the eyes, "I want to shag Sirius. I want to undress him on my bed and give him a blowjob. I want to flip him onto his front and stick my—"
"NO, NO, NO I DON'T NEED TO HEAR THIS! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN RUINED, I HATE YOU ALL AND I WILL NEVER HAVE YOUR BABIES! OBLIIIVVVIIIAAATTEEE!"
Remus and Sirius both stared at James as his chest heaved. He calmed after a moment – always one for momentary lapses of judgement and moments of over dramatics – and frowned at the pair of them.
"Right, now that I have enough scarring imagery to ensure I don't sleep tonight, shall we head to detention? Minnie's gonna kill us for being this late. And no more of your jokes, Lil. They mentally disturb me, okay?...Okay…? Lily?"
He turned to see why Lily wasn't responding, to see Remus and Sirius staring, jaws dropped, at a very female Lily Evans standing before them, looking disorientated and vaguely irritated as though she suspected something already.
"What…?" James asked, sounding as though he already knew and was dreading the confirmation.
"You cast an obliviate, Prongs." Sirius said. His voice drew Lily's eyes to him and he closed his mouth promptly.
"Oh, Merlin." James breathed, taking a step back from Lily.
"You obliviated your girlfriend." Remus summed up with a snicker. Lily's eyes widened in shock at the words, staring at her boyfriend. She looked as though she was about to say something (or possibly leap at James and tear out his intestines with her bare fingers), but instead looked down at her clothes and at the way they were hanging off her petite frame.
"We were doing dares, weren't we?" she asked with narrowed eyes. Sirius and Remus took a simultaneous step back as James nodded, his eyes wide much like his stag counterpart. Built into the spell that bound them all to their dares until the end of the week, else there be a forfeit given, was a failsafe that ensured the player's safety if they were compromised in any way. Apparently that included being obliviated, fortunately for Lily. Odd that it hadn't worked for Peter, though. Poor Peter Pettigrew.
"Err…" was all James could muster, still staring at her as though he was prepared to bolt any minute. Lily took a step forward, resembling a dragon hunting her prey. When the story was told in the future, James would swear that he saw smoke coming from her nostrils. Sirius would claim to have seen a tail.
"James Harold Potter, is that why I don't remember anything after we won the Cup?" She growled. James squeaked and gulped at the same time which resulted in an odd choking sound that made Remus momentarily concerned for his health – until James turned tail and scampered away and round the corner, followed by a fuming Lily screaming, "Why would you let me do something so stupid? I bet you got me drunk!"
"I guess James forgot that obliviate is best served cold with an extra helping of common sense and a side of dangerous arch nemesis in possession of revealing information," Remus commented, giving Sirius a side-ways glance, eyeing him up furtively, "You don't do it to your girlfriend."
"It's turned into a game of last man standing." Sirius chuckled, not noticing Remus coming towards him with the same predator-like stalk patented by Lily, but with very different intentions, "I think we should—"
The end of his witty (but not really witty) comment was swallowed by Remus' mouth descending on his as the werewolf leapt at him, stumbling them both against the wall behind Sirius. Surprised, Sirius just stood there, arms hanging limp by his side until Remus pulled away and lifted a challenging eyebrow at him, his fingers (magical, bliss-inducing fingers, Sirius added mentally) sliding down from where they had tangled in his hair to settle on his bare hips.
"Sorry," Sirius apologised a little breathlessly, "Been so long, I forgot…"
He trailed off, knowing he sounded stupid since their bet with Lily had only been going on for a few days – one day longer than the dares – and he shouldn't have been able to forget so quickly. It wasn't that he had forgotten (after all, who could forget being with the secret hottie Remus Lupin?) but more that he had forgotten than when they were completely alone, they were free to act as they wanted, so he took Remus' face between his hands and pulled him in for another kiss and made it worth the duff one his boyfriend had received a moment ago.
"Mmm." Remus hummed, moving even closer to grind his hips against Sirius', his fingers holding on firmly to his hips, feeling as though they would bruise. Sirius was delighted by the rare public display of affection – even if it was just a result of the spell he was under mixed with them having to keep their relationship a secret for months previously – Remus being the sort of person to keep their escapades where no one else (who didn't know about them, which made those who did know about them to a total of one: Lily) could see them, so he made the most of it and pushed back onto him, enjoying the abandon of—
"Ahem."
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Lupin slowly pulled away from Black with a wet, smacking sound that made Minerva twitch. Lupin smiled in that disturbing Black-fashion he had taken to that day and leant sideways on the wall, folding his arms. Black edged behind him and moved his hands over his crotch, hiding something Minerva would much rather not think about, especially seeing as the only item of clothing he was wearing was a rather revealing thong.
"Evening, Minnie." Lupin smiled charmingly, "What brings you here?"
Minerva twitched again and crooked her finger for them to go into her office. The two boys exchanged worried glances before following and taking their usual seats in front of her desk as she settled behind it. Lupin and Black reclined in identical fashions (one of them still discretely placing his hand over his crotch area), making their transfiguration professor tense and narrow her eyes.
"Potter and Evans?" she asked.
"Evans…came to her senses and decided that she preferred being a woman." Black answered with an easy shrug, his eyes conveying an unusual worry – most likely over what Minerva had happened across in the corridor. Odd, though, for Black to look worried, "She decided that it was James' fault, so they're running around somewhere throwing hexes and screaming."
Unlike their other teachers, who might have panicked about two of the school's brightest and maddest students let loose in the castle armed with wands, desperation (Potter, blatantly) and rage (Evans, most likely), Minerva merely sighed, having nothing to say about the rather predictable matter than, "Well, at least Potter is still being punished and I'll talk with Lily about this tomorrow."
"Good woman." Black nodded, as Lupin flashed his teeth briefly, looking disturbingly wolfish.
"Which leaves you two." Minerva said, her voice lowering as she lifted her wand to close the door. Both boys jumped at the bang and sat, awkwardly waiting in the resounding silence that followed, "If what I saw out there was a result of the spells that have been cast on you, or whatever you have been doing today, then I don't find it funny at all. I don't care about what you do to reap havoc around the school this week, but I refuse to stand by and watch two of whom I believed to be my brightest students play with something so serious as love and affection." She turned her penetrating glare on Lupin, who wore a frown identical to Black's, "And you, Mr Lupin. No matter the charm you have been put under, I would have never expected something so—"
"We weren't pulling a prank, professor." Black interrupted earnestly. Minerva, who usually abhorred being interrupted, stopped to listen anyway – Black had addressed her as professor. She wasn't sure whether to do a dance or sing to Merlin in wonder, but quickly decided that both reactions would cause gossip and inappropriate reputations, so she merely nodded for him to go on, her lips pressed in a thin line that she knew would lead the boys to believe she was angry when she was actually trying not to laugh.
"We're..." Lupin hesitated and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, looking at Black who normally would have been the neck rubber. Although Minerva was highly grateful that Black hadn't moved one of his hands, it was still disturbing to see Lupin doing it instead. She needed to get the bottom of this, even if it was to just calm her nerves for however long this would be going on for. With an encouraging gesture from Minerva, Remus continued.
"We're actually…together," Lupin choked out. Minerva didn't blame him – telling something like this to your Head of House probably wasn't what they'd had planned tonight. But they had a detention, dammit (yeah, yeah, she cursed, get over it; even teachers get angsty) and they were going to suffer if she had anything to do with it. "You know, snogging and shagging and—"
"MR LUPIN." Minerva cried, stopping the boy in his tracks. He and Black gulped and she suddenly felt sorry for them, deciding instantly to take it a little easier on them…if Lupin didn't reveal anything else about their love lives, that is. What could she say? She did have a soft spot for the troublesome four of her House, no matter what they did, so perhaps this could be one of those rare times when she treated them like the adults they were under all those layers of teenage mischief.
She took a deep breath and sat back in her chair, reaching out to rearrange the position of her ink well on her desk instead of looking at her two very uncomfortable students as she said in a slightly strained voice (being nice to these boys – more so Black than Lupin – was rare and took her a lot of energy), "I'm sure we can discuss this without disclosing, ah…private information. So why don't you both explain and we can talk about it like adults?"
"Yeah, good idea Mrs M." Black nodded. He took in a deep breath that made Minerva nervous about what she was about to hear, "So, um, obviously we're…we're together. Remus and I, I mean."
"Very well," Minerva nodded, feeling her migraine coming back from that morning, "Why did you decide to, ahem, display your affections outside my office."
"Caught up in the moment." Lupin explained apologetically, "We haven't told anyone, see? Well, apart from Evans, but then she's a nosy bitch who—" he stopped himself and then continued as though Minerva wasn't glaring daggers at him, "She found out on her own."
"We're not sure how Prongs and Wormy would take it." Black nodded, looking so miserable that, for once, Minerva didn't try to question him about those bizarre nicknames. She let her stern expression die and relaxed, feeling that now – if ever – was the time to start addressing them like adults. Never mind that Lupin had turned into a sleazier version of his friend and Black was wearing nothing but…well, she had refrained, so far, from looking far down enough to see exactly what it was that was covering his…nether regions.
"I'm sure that your friends would be understanding, Mr Black," she assured him with a small smile. Black blinked at her show of kindness, which she had to admit was a rarity – come on, someone had to be the bad cop at Hogwarts. If it wasn't going to be Albus, it had to be her, "They don't seem like the sort of people who would blindly discriminate."
She added this with a pointed look at Lupin who nodded, seeming to consider something. For a moment, she thought he was going to say something more like his usual sensible self, but was severely disappointed.
"Still, I don't think Jamie would be all too happy to find out that we've tangoed on his bed."
Minerva chose to ignore that, lest she lose control and scream, or worse – laugh. Black sniggered at what must have been a funny memory and shakes his head. Minerva sorely hoped he didn't choose to disclose any details.
"Also, we kind of have this bet going on with Evans. Have since she walked in on me with my mouth—"
"I don't know why, but you seem to keep forgetting who you're talking to." Minerva interrupted quickly. Black chuckled and shrugged, murmuring something in Lupin's ear. Normally, Minerva would snap at the childish means of communication an order him to repeat what he had said, but judging by the slow smile that spread across Lupin's face as he gave Black a sideways eyebrow waggle (something the teachers had named The Black Brow Shake) she instantly decided that she didn't need to hear.
It wasn't that she didn't want to know…no! Mad Minerva! Dear Merlin, she would not morph into those awful giggling girls she heard gushing about the mysterious (and rather obvious, now that she knew – really, now, did platonic male friends sit on each other as frequently as Lupin and Black did? Potter was quite dense for not have spotted it when he spent every waking hour with the boys) relationship between the two sitting in her office.
Well, no woman was immune to the charms of an all boy couple…but she was their teacher; her job was to help them, not gush and beg for details about their first kiss. Minerva shuddered and cleared her throat to recapture their attention.
"You were saying about a bet with Miss Evans?" she prompted, waving a hand.
"Oh yeah," Black giggled – giggled – and continued, "Evans found out and she tried to get us to tell James and Peter, but we weren't ready yet, so she made a bet that James would find out before we were ready."
"There's a lot at stake, prof." Lupin said seriously, "A whole wad of—"
"You said you weren't ready to tell him," Minerva interrupted loudly (the less she know about this bet that her Head Girl had made the better, since she didn't fancy her chances at attempting to stop it from happening), "How long have you been…together?"
"Eleven months, three days and…" Black checked the clock on her office wall, "twenty seven minutes."
Minerva, unable to help herself, glanced at the clock and lifted her eyebrows at the pair of them as they smiled across at each other, obviously remembering some soppy memories, "You got together at exactly eighteen minutes past seven on the sixteenth of June?" she asked sceptically.
"You have to get us an anniversary present, now." Lupin said smugly.
"I've always wanted one of those hats." Black grinned nodding to the brimless, tartan-patterned hat currently sitting atop Minerva's head. She took it off, feeling a little self-conscious of it and set it down on the desk.
"My new one came this morning," she told them, "but I'm not sure it's—"
"Nonsense, Minnie!" Lupin gushed, flapping his hands a bit that made Minerva feel like an idiot for not realising that he was gay, "You'd look sexalicious in anything, darling."
Sexalicious? She thought dubiously, one corner of her mouth trying to twitch upwards, but instead said, "I'm sure, Mr Lupin, but I'm not convinced it's appropriate for school."
"Get it out." Black urged bouncing a little in his seat. Minerva hesitated, wondering if she was seriously about to take fashion advice from a couple of her students, but then decided that it would be fine (right? Right?). She had, after all, discussed far stranger things with them in the past, including speculations about the length of Albus' body hair in comparison to his hair and beard (a conversation after which she could never look Albus in the eye for at least a year), so surely she could show them a hat.
"Oooo," Black cooed as she pulled the new green hat from under her desk and put it on, "Going for the wide brim now, are we? I must say, I wasn't sure about the new wide brim fashion that seems to be taking over, but it looks like it was made for you."
"Gorgeous." Lupin nodded with a wink, "I especially like the feather. Very chic."
Minerva was not blushing at a wink from a student.
"Have the pair of you always been...of that persuasion?" she asked carefully.
"What? Gay?" Black asked in amusement, "Well, Rem here has been openly gay to us for a while now and came out to the rest of Gryffindor about twenty minutes ago. I'm Moony-sexual." He added with a flutter of his lashes at his partner, who rolled his eyes with embellishment, an action Minerva hadn't previously realised could be embellished.
"He means he's bi." Lupin corrected, "What is it you say, Pads? Twice the sexuality, twice the sex, right?"
"Lovely." Minerva sighed. So she had actually blushed at a wink from a gay student. What was her life coming to? Spending so much time at the school with people like this was addling her brain. She really needed to get laid…
"Well, once it was obvious that neither gender could resist me, I thought, why not?" Black smirked, flipping his hair over his shoulder, "Even stoic old Moony couldn't keep his hands off."
"Is there anything you want to shag more than your-bloody-arsing-self?" Lupin asked, slumping in his chair in a mock tantrum and crossing his arms tightly. Minerva sighed and made herself comfortable. There was never any point in trying to interrupt when they got like this.
"I like loads of things more than myself!" Black gasped incredulously, "I like you! I like my hair. I like Minnie – of course – and old Dumbles, he's cool. I like my leopard print covered soldier. I like that cuddly wolf you got me for Christmas. You know I can't sleep without it. And I luuurrrvvve your arse, of course my dear."
"Of course." Lupin nodded sombrely, getting to his feet, "Have you seen it? It's magnificent."
"We shall all bow down before it." Black swore, also standing.
"Statues will be made!" Lupin cried, slamming his fist onto the desk.
"Songs will be sung!" Black yelled, lifting his arms in the air.
It was when the pair of them started to yodel – yes, yodel – about the magnificence of Lupin's hindquarters, when Minerva decided that she had probably had enough of discussing her new hat with the two boys, especially since Black had stood up – she had seen enough leopard print to last her a lifetime.
"Right." She said firmly, silencing the deafening yodels. They froze, stuck in their position of Lupin about to leap from her desk into Black's arms, "I think we have had more than enough of each other's company, so why don't you go back to the common room?"
"No one can have enough of us." Lupin stated stubbornly.
"What about detention?" Black asked suspiciously.
"I've decide against it." Minerva sighed, waving her hand to get them to leave, not wanting to admit that they had actually brightened up her evening, "Now go. And be careful where you display your affections for one another – you don't want Potter and Pettigrew finding out, do you?"
Black grinned and swept her hand up in his and planted a soft kiss on it as Lupin hopped to the floor and gave a low bow. Minerva hoped to Merlin that she wasn't blushing, otherwise she might have to sign up to that fan club she'd seen the posters for…
"Just go before I change my mind." She warned. They grinned and raced to open the door. Minerva called out before they left and she gave them a small smile when they turned back around, "And thanks for the advice about the hat."
"Anytime, Minnie." Lupin said with a salute, moments before they left. Minerva propped her chin on her hand and reached into a drawer on her desk with the other.
"Thank Merlin, I've been craving this all day." She sighed happily, producing a large bar of Honeyduke's Finest chocolate and peeling the wrapper off. There was one school rule implemented by Albus three years ago that everyone – everyone – always adhered to: never eat chocolate in front of Remus J Lupin if you want to keep your fingers.
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"I can't believe you two got away scot free." James grumbled, clutching at his potato with a frown. Remus and Sirius glanced at each, then back at James (who currently had half the forest and a custard-covered spoon stuck in his afro) and then back at each other collapsing against each other in hysterics, clutching at their sides.
James sulked, lobbing the potato at a first year and telling him to get his friends to stop throwing their cutlery, kindly given by an irate Lily who had gotten her memories back about the dares, at him. Remus snorted and calmed down moderately, while Sirius tumbled from the arm of the chair Remus was lounging in.
"It's not our fault Red hexed you." Sirius snorted from the floor, his head feet dangerously close to the common room fire, "Five points for a spoon in the hair, ten points for a goblet and fifty for Dumble's new hat."
"She would never have done it if she wasn't so bloody clever." James sighed miserably, "Sigh. Why do my standards have to be so high?"
"Mine are higher." Remus grinned, winking at Sirius at his feet, who had his hand up the leg of his boyfriend's trousers from his position on the floor and preceded to massage him there. Sirius 'aww-ed' and pretended to blush. James, of course, noticed nothing of this exchange, too preoccupied with himself to realise that his friends were flirting. Quit heavily.
"I think I'm gonna go to bed." Sirius said with a pointed look up at Remus who winked back. He climbed to his feet and glanced at James who was standing, too, "Err, I think Evans is waiting for you in the library, Prongs. Heard she wants to apologise."
Remus glared at Sirius – Lily Evans? Apologise? Waaayyy too farfetched to be believable. Now they were never going to get the dorm to themselves.
"Good. This is getting humiliating." James muttered, turning to exit through the portrait hole. Well, apparently James was more stupid than he looked… Neither boy complained of Prongs' idiocy as Remus grasped Sirius' hand and pulled him to their dormitory, closing the door with a slam. They weren't sure why keeping 'them' as a secret had been so hard, since no one had even noticed them stealing a quick kiss up on the staircase. Lily would be furious. Actually, best she not know in case she made it harder for them to win the bet.
"This is weird," Sirius mused as Remus pushed him back onto his bed and climbed on top, "Usually it's me initiating this."
Remus pouted and rolled off to instead lie beside Sirius, arms and legs flopped lifelessly, tongue hanging from his mouth, "Would you prefer for me to be dead?"
"Ew, no." Sirius grimaced, propping himself up on his elbow, "Dead guys can't get it up, so how am I supposed to have any fun?"
"Why am I not surprised?" Remus wailed, an arm flung dramatically over his eyes, "My boyfriend shags dead people."
"Are you listening to me?" Sirius asked doubtfully as Remus leapt up and bounded over the window. He flung it open and cupped his hands around his mouth to cry to the night: "Sirius Black likes 'em limp!"
"Moony!" Sirius mock, gasped, pulling Remus down and closer to him. He gave a wide grin and whipped a piece of parchment from behind his back, "Before we have a discussion about why it is wrong to tell people such scarring things about the great and sexy Sirius Black, look what I just found on your bed."
Remus snatched the parchment away and scanned it quickly before reading it aloud, "'Dares for tomorrow. James Potter is dared to perform a strip tease during a meal until stopped by Dumbledore and only Dumbledore'."
"Ouch." Sirius cringed, "Poor Prongs."
"'Remus Lupin is to eat and drink everything as though it arouses him all day.' Oh, fabulous. 'And Sirius Black is to dance every movement he makes, including everything from walking to pointing at something, also all day'."
"Easy." Sirius scoffed.
"It's from Evans." Remus chuckled, looking at the signature at the bottom, "Do these dares actually count? She's not in the game anymore."
"Is someone chickening out?" Sirius teased, taking the parchment and throwing it on James' bed.
"Never." Remus grinned, fisting Sirius hair in his hands and pulling him closer, "We'll say the dares ourselves later. Right now I need to ravish you like one of those dead guys you like."
"I'd rather you be very much alive," Sirius smirked, walking them over to his bed, "I find a response to my godlike love-making is preferable."
"I can do that."
A/N2: Yes, I realise that this chapter hasn't exactly been all that funny, but stay tuned – the Remus and Sirius relationship reveal is out of the way now, so I can get on with the dares again ^-^ R&R with any ideas if you want; I do have an entire week to fill up with dares, after all and Day One has taken up four looong chapters. Plus, I'd love to use some of your ideas! 3