A\N: I own nothing.

Some of you were foolish enough to encourage me, so I'm inflicting another chapter on you :) I plan to update at least once a month, and more often if possible.

To those who asked, I am currently not planning to introduce any Eyeshield 21 characters beyond Hiruma, Kurita, and Sena. The rest of the Naruto characters are more or less same.

"You called for me, Mizuki-sensei?"

"Ah, yes, Hiruma! Come in, have a seat."

As the twelve-year-old in the loud orange outfit sat down, Mizuki silently studied him. The boy was doing a fair job of appearing bored and uninterested, but any student had to be nervous when asked to meet a teacher just a week before the Shinobi Academy finals. They sat in silence for a long moment, then Hiruma burst out. "Well, what the fuck is it about?"

Mizuki snorted. "Obviously, it's about your grades. Your utterly misleading grades, I might add."

Hiruma's face blanked. "That's between me and Iruka-sensei. What the fuck do you know about it?"

"Iruka doesn't run this academy. Recommendations from all the teachers are considered when deciding who passes, who fails, and what teams they are on. And right now, a lot of the teachers are pissed that you've been making fools of them for years. Most of them want you expelled, passing grades or no."

Hiruma went very still, and studied Mizuki for a long moment. "So, why are you telling me this? You fuckers do whatever you want."

Mizuki sighed and shook his head. "Hiruma, I'm on your side, as is Iruka-sensei. We want to see you succeed. We both spoke for you, and finally, the other teachers agreed. There is a test we have designed, which will test all your shinobi skills. Pass it, and we will overlook the irregularity with your grades and guarantee your graduation. Not only that, but the test comes with a big success bonus."

"Oh? What is it?"

Mizuki-sensei smiled. "Tomorrow, a scroll will be delivered to the Hokage's office at 4 P.M. The scroll will be labeled "Jutsu Scroll TS/28". It will be either on his desk or in the scroll shelves at least until the next morning. You will steal that scroll, and bring it to me by 6 AM to training ground 8."

"Wait, what the fuck? You want me to steal from the fucking Hokage? What kind of messed-up test is that?"

"The Hokage knows about the test, of course. But his ANBU security does not. You will have to evade them, because if they spot you they will use lethal force. I recommend you make your move after the Hokage retires for the evening, there will be less security around his office then. And if you succeed, Hiruma, there will be a reward. That scroll contains top-secret jutsu that are never taught in the academy. But you pull of the heist, and me and Iruka will personally coach you in any one jutsu contained in the scroll, your choice."

"What? Really?"

"Yes, really. If you pass the test, you'll prove you have what it takes to learn from the scroll." Mizuki leaned forward, his voice growing softer. "We know why you hid your true skills. We know that some villagers and many of the students mistreat you, just for being an orphan. By hiding your skills, you could protect yourself better from someone who tries to hurt you. Well, here is a chance to do even better. Pull this off, and I swear on my hitai-ate, you will begin your shinobi career knowing at least one technique no other genin knows."

Hiruma had maintained his poker face, but now, his fists clenched, his breathing grew harder, and his eyes gleamed with excitement, and a thin smile stretched across his face. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to regain his composure, then opened them again. "All right, Mizuki-sensei. I'll get that scroll, and prove myself to you lot."

"Excellent. But do be careful, Hiruma. If it looks too dangerous, back off. Me and Iruka will handle the others."

"No! I won't let you down sensei! Now I gotta go! Gotta make plans! The ANBU won't know what hit 'em! Ya-ha!"

Mizuki smiled indulgently as the enthusiastic boy took his leave. He had never seen the ice-cold Hiruma so excited about anything.

o-o-o-o

Hiruma's excitement lasted exactly until he was out of sight of Mizuki's office. Then the skip in his step died away, and his face fell back into its usual blank mask. He walked aimlessly for over an hour, deep in thought, until his feet led him back to the academy, and the administrative building. He stared up at the top floor, at the large window of the Hokage's office. Standing directly above the window, on the roof, was a black-clad figure in a white ANBU face-mask. Hiruma was certain the shinobi was only the ANBU he was meant to see. He glanced at the window, then looked around. Behind the admin building stood the Hokage Mountain, carved on which were the faces of the four Hokage of Konoha.

Hiruma blinked. He looked closer at the pristine white stone of the carved cliff-face. He stared for several minutes, and slowly, a broad grin spread across his face. Turning around, he walked briskly towards the shopping district.

o-o-o-o

(The next day)

Hiruzen Sarutobi, the third Hokage, most powerful man in Konoha, sat back in his chair and rotated his wrist to get rid of the incipient cramp. He glanced at the clock. Almost five. Most ordinary admin chuunin would be heading home within the hour. He looked at his in-tray and knew he'd be stuck here at least until nine. Not for the first time, he silently cursed his successor for being a noble self-sacrificing idiot and leaving his old bones to take up the slack.

He was just turning back to the next minor crisis that Only The Hokage Can Solve! when several sharp explosions filled the air. Sarutobi glanced at one of his ANBU guards, who immediately got up, opened the window, and climbed out to go and investigate. After closing the window, Sarutobi himself left the office through the door, and at a fast but dignified walk, headed for the stairs. The sight of him steadied many of the office shinobi who had been disturbed by the sounds. As he stepped out of the front door, his investigator returned.

"Hokage-sama, it's the Hokage Mountain. Someone has… we…. you need to come and see it."

Sarutobi blinked. It took a lot to fluster an ANBU. Picking up the pace, he headed around the admin building, to the trail leading up to the mountain. He would have preferred to run, but the sight of the Hokage running was sure to lead to all sorts of panic-stricken rumors. When he got there, a substantial crowd had already gathered. Sarutobi joined them in staring up at the monument, and found himself struggling to maintain his dignified demeanor. The Hokage monument was still there, only now it had some colorful modifications. His own face now resembled some cartoon yami, with a gap-toothed grimace, glaring red eyes and curved horns. And was that rouge and lipstick on the First? Yes it was. The Second sported raccoon-eyes and buck-teeth. The Fourth had gotten of the lightest, the formerly clean-shaven face now possessing a curled moustache and a goatee. Sarutobi noted that the facial hair was in the correct shade of blonde. From the light haze of smoke around the summit, the noise seemed to have been caused by a lot of fireworks or something similar.

"Hokage-sama!" cried one of the better-dressed civilians. "Someone has desecrated the monument! This is an outrage!"

"Indeed." replied Sarutobi sternly. He turned to his guards. "Find the miscreants and bring them to me. But do not harm them!"

"Yes, hokage-sama! We'll catch the hooligans!" Half the ANBU scattered, the others staying by the man they were supposed to protect.

Sarutobi made sure he had himself under control. It wouldn't do for the Hokage to fall down laughing in the middle of the street. He doubted that the ANBU would catch those responsible. Whoever did this had to be a meticulous planner. After admiring the artistry one last time, Sarutobi headed back to his office.

As he stepped back inside, his instincts immediately told him something was wrong. He slowly scanned the room. Nothing seemed out of place… then he realized that while the window was shut, the latch was no longer in place. He was absolutely certain he had seated the latch before leaving. Without hesitation, he reached for his desk and activated the intruder alarm.

o-o-o-o-o

"Are you sure it was Hiruma who stole the scroll?" cried Iruka, aghast.

"Well, I don't know if it was the scroll, but I saw Hiruma with a large scroll on his back, heading east." replied Mizuki.

"But… but why?"

"Bah! He's got the demon in him! He doesn't need a reason to give us grief!" growled an elderly chuunin. It was a gathering of several teachers and administrators, as they met to coordinate the manhunt.

"Quite right! I heard that many of the civilians are terrified of him, and he threatens them into doing things for him! The Hokage has been far too lenient with him!" cried a kunoichi.

"Well, the ANBU will put him down once and for all." said the elder with satisfaction.

"You're wrong. I'm his teacher! He may be rude and foul-mouthed, but he wouldn't betray Konoha!"

"Are you so sure?" said Mizuki quietly. "We know he's been hiding his true abilities from us. He may have turned a long time ago, and simply waiting for his chance to make a big score and flee."

Iruka had no answer to this. Snarling, he headed outside and leaped on to the rooftops to join the search.

o-o-o-o-o

It was the break of dawn when Iruka returned home. He had spent the entire day and night scouring the village, as had many others, but no sign of the boy. Several of Hiruma's classmates, had been interrogated, but all were ignorant of Hiruma's actions. Hunter-nin squads had already left, on the assumption that he was taking his stolen prize to some other village.

Iruka sighed and rubbed his face. He knew the boy was mistreated by almost everyone in the village, but he put up such a bold front that Iruka had not stirred himself to help as he should. He silently blamed himself. If only he had done his job, he might have realized sooner how Hiruma was concealing himself from everyone. If he had given Hiruma someone to talk to, the whole incident could have been avoided.

Turning on the lights, he was just taking off his slippers when he noticed a kunai pinning a message to the wall. Pulling it off, he immediately recognized Hiruma's handwriting.

Iruka-sensei, I did it! I passed the test. I stole the scroll from the Hokage's office, just like Mizuki-sensei told me to. I know he suggested I do it late at night, but my way was more fun. Remember, you now have to teach me a jutsu from the scroll and let me graduate. I'll see you both tomorrow at 6 at training ground 8.

Hiruma

Iruka's heart almost stopped. Mizuki, you treacherous bastard! He looked at his watch. Six o' clock was only minutes away. He should go for the ANBU, but there was no time! Heading out, he leaped on the nearest roof, and started running faster than he had ever run before.

o-o-o-o-o-o

Leaping from branch to branch, Iruka headed through the trees surrounding training ground 8. He almost cried in relief as he saw the blond hair and orange jacket. Hiruma was loitering on the edge of the training ground, a large scroll strapped to his back.

"Hiruma!"

The boy looked up as Iruka landed a few yards away. "Iruka-sensei? Right on time!"

Iruka was about to give Hiruma a piece of his mind, when a flash of movement caught his eye. Rising up from the underbrush, less than ten yards away, was Mizuki, arm drawn back to hurl a brace of kunai at the oblivious boy.

"LOOK OUT!" Diving forward, Iruka shoved the boy out of the way, while drawing his own kunai to deflect the missiles. He managed to deflect one kunai, but the other one buried itself in his right forearm, just behind the wrist. His kunai fell to the ground as his fingers went numb. Immediately, Iruka switched to a southpaw stance, with a kunai in his left hand, as he faced down the traitor.

Hiruma picked himself off the ground. "Mizuki-sensei? What the fuck?"

"Hiruma, take the scroll and get out of here! Mizuki's a traitor, this is no test! Do not let him have the scroll!" cried Iruka.

"Huh. That a fact, Mizuki?" asked Hiruma, as he drew a kunai and opened up some distance between himself and both chuunin. Iruka wanted to scream in frustration. Instead of running, the boy was actually moving into the training area, giving Mizuki a clear shot. Sure enough, Mizuki was unslinging his giant shuriken. Chakra-infused and wire-guided, the weapon was hard to dodge and harder to block.

Mizuki had a shit-eating grin on his face as he looked from the injured Iruka to the young boy. "You really think anyone cares about you enough to give you a second chance, monster? Oh, you don't know do you? When the Kyuubi attacked, the Fourth gave his life to seal it away – inside you! You're a monster, and that's why everyone hates you. You ought to thank me, at least I put you to some use."

Hiruma raised his eyebrows. "Is that supposed to be a fuckin' surprise or somethin'?"

Iruka felt his lips twitching at the Mizuki's shock at how his psychological ploy had fizzled. But Hiruma was still talking: "Well, I suppose its proof enough. Ain't that right, ANBU-san?"

The tiniest of sounds announced a new arrival. Suddenly, standing a few yards behind Mizuki was a tall, forbidding figure in black, armed to the teeth, with a face-mask patterned like a dog. To Iruka's growing delight, the figure was quickly joined by two others, one with a boar-mask, and the third with a falcon-mask. Mizuki had whirled to face them, and his face was that of a man who sees his own death. And then, Mizuki screamed, as a kunai buried itself just behind his right knee.

Iruka whirled to face Hiruma, who was already launching a second kunai at the traitor. Mizuki, now on one knee, whirled his shuriken around as a shield, but at the very last moment, the one kunai split into six. Mizuki managed to block three. One carved a shallow groove along his side. One hit him in the chest, but was prevented from penetrating too deeply by his flak jacket. The third struck him in the face, and Iruka could tell from the sound that it had shattered his jaw. The traitor spun in place, scattering blood and teeth, before collapsing to the ground. Amazingly, he was still conscious, and was struggling to get up when the ANBU squad reached him. The squad had weapons drawn, and chopped and stabbed, until Mizuki's three other limbs had been rendered useless as well. Then, the dog-faced leader reversed his kunai and hammered the blunt end down on Mizuki's head, and the shinobi slumped into unconsciousness.

Iruka gave a sigh of relief, and as the adrenaline drained away, his right hand started complaining of the kunai still buried in it. "Uh… ANBU-san… I don't suppose any of you know any medical jutsu?" he asked, as he carefully approached the trio.

"Sorry, Iruka-sensei, they don't cover that in the fucking academy." Iruka froze, gaping like a fish, as one by one, all three ANBU tapped themselves, and the Henge ninjutsu fell away, revealing three identical copies of Hiruma.

"Wha-wha-b-Bunshin? All of you?"

"Not just regular bunshin." said one of the non-ANBU with Hiruma's trademark sneer.

"We're Kage Bunshin." said a second.

"I'm the original." said the third.

The Hiruma with the scroll shrugged. "Sorry ya hurt yourself for nothin', sensei."

"I suspected the bastard from the start. No way was I letting him get a first shot at either me or the scroll."

"The scroll? You mean… that's not the real scroll?" asked Mizuki, pointing at the scroll on the clone's back.

"Nope. Kage Bunshin there as well." replied the clone, as he reached behind to slap the scroll, making it vanish in a puff of smoke. Iruka realized that of the six kunai thrown at Mizuki, there was only one left lying in the grass.

"I left the original scroll in your underwear drawer, when I dropped off the letter." clarified a Hiruma.

"Speaking of the letter, why the fuck are you here on your own, sensei? I figured you'd bring the ANBU with you. This was the fucking backup plan." spoke up another.

Carrying on a conversation with four clones was giving Iruka a headache. "I saw your letter very late, I barely made it here. Where on earth did you learn Kage Bunshin? That's a jounin-level Forbidden jutsu."

"It was the easiest jutsu in the scroll I pinched. Also, pretty much the only one I was sure I had chakra for."

By this time, the Hirumas had finished stripping Mizuki of his weapons and binding him. Now, one of them picked up the discarded gear, and the other three picked up Mizuki.

"Come on, sensei. Let's go find the real ANBU. I'll send the reserves to scout ahead."

"Reserves?"

"Yeah, I got three clones in reserve. That's all I could make without falling over."

Mizuki shook his head in amazement. Six Kage Bunshin was a feat beyond most chuunin. Even jounin rarely bothered with the technique, it was so chakra-intensive. The threat of death by chakra exhaustion was the reason it was a Forbidden Technique.

They had been walking for perhaps fifteen minutes, when the original Hiruma stiffened and winced. "One of my scouts found the ANBU. Or rather, they found him. Better talk fast sensei, this lot looks a lot harder to pacify than Mizuki."

o-o-o-o-o-o

Two hours later, Iruka was sitting nervously in front of the Hokage. His nervousness stemmed neither from the Hokage, nor from the ANBU guard, but rather from the man next to him. Ibiki, head of Torture and Interrogation, had that effect on people. The tall, saturnine man was finishing his report. "In summary, I believe Hiruma-kun is telling the truth when he says it was Mizuki who tried to trick him into stealing the scroll, and that he only went through with it in order to gather enough evidence to trap the traitor. I judge he is correct when he says that no one would have believed him if he had approached the authorities with just his word."

Iruka snorted. "I would have believed him. But that's just me." he muttered.

Ibiki ignored the interjection. "We don't know why Mizuki wanted the scroll, but I'll get it out of him once he regains consciousness. I should note that even if we clear Hiruma's name and put the blame for the theft on Mizuki, there will be those who will want to prosecute him for the damage to the Hokage monument. We have several witnesses who saw him near the monument shortly before the start of the whole incident."

The Hokage puffed on his pipe for a moment before replying. "Did you find out how he pulled off the prank in the first place?"

"Yes. He spent the entire morning painting the faces, while concealing his work under a Henge. He dropped the Henge when the time was right, along with a firework barrage to draw attention."

"Ingenious. But yes, the council will try to use it as a pretext to expel or exile the boy. I wish they'd get a new hobby, I've forgotten how many times they've already tried."

"Ummm…." Iruka coughed politely. When the Hokage nodded, he continued. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but Hiruma only damaged the monument as part of his ploy to catch a traitor. Doesn't that mean he was effectively acting as a counter-intelligence agent for Konoha? Don't we have a budget for things like that?"

The Hokage beamed. "Excellent thinking, Iruka. Ibiki, classify the whole incident with the monument as a necessary part of a counter-intelligence operation. Cover the cleaning costs from your ops budget. And while you're at it, make out a pay voucher to both Hiruma and Iruka here for a C-rank mission. Make sure the paperwork is perfect."

Ibiki looked like he'd swallowed several lemons, but he stiffly nodded acceptance. Iruka could have sworn he heard one of the ANBU snicker.

"How do we handle the matter of Hiruma's grades?" he asked.

"The lad's already proven he possesses chuunin-level chakra reserves, and significant skills with kunai and ninjutsu. I'd say you now have enough information to make a private assessment." replied the Hokage. "But let his official grades stay as they are. Let him know he still needs to pass the finals to graduate."

"As you say, Hokage-sama. And his request regarding Kurita?" asked Iruka.

"You stand by your earlier assessment that Kurita will do better with Hiruma than with Shikamaru and Ino?"

"Yes, Hokage. And now that I've seen Hiruma's real skill, I would add that if Kurita is assigned elsewhere, I don't want to be in the village when Hiruma finds out."

"All right. Hiruma will be with Kurita. I want you to think carefully about who should be the third member, and I want your recommendation by the end of the week."

Dismissed, Iruka took his leave. Ibiki stood up to do the same, but then paused. "There is one more thing, Hokage-sama. It is just a feeling, but I think while Hiruma is telling the truth, he's not telling us the entire truth."

Sarutobi pondered for a moment, and then sighed. "Few people can tell the entire truth, even about themselves, and that boy is twistier than most. I'll tell ANBU to keep a closer eye on him in future."

Ibiki nodded and left.

o-o-o-o-o-o

"HIRUMA-SAAAAN!" Hiruma quickly ducked out of the way of Kurita's embrace, as the enormous boy crashed to the ground.

"What are you doing here, traitor?" cried Ino, as she brushed off the tea and cakes that she had made to try and console Kurita.

"You know there's no fucking way I'd miss our weekly games. Ain't that right, pineapple-head?"

Shikamaru sighed, plucking a doughnut out of his hair that Kurita had spilled in his excitement. "I take it, then, that someone else was responsible for the theft of the scroll?"

"Yep. They mistook some other guy for me. All cleared up now."

"There is someone else in the village with blonde hair and bright orange clothes?" sneered Ino.

"Must be. Small world, isn't it? So, what'll it be, Shikamaru, chess or poker?"

o-o-o-o-o

Some time later, and elsewhere in the village, a short, plump black-haired gent dressed like a civilian trader, was just finishing his third cup of coffee. He'd been at the café for the better part of two hours. He'd spent all that time writing in a little black notebook. He would often pause as if recalling something from memory. Sometimes, he would refer to a few pages of notes. Now, it seemed as if he had finished. He asked for matches and an ashtray, then set the notes on fire and carefully watched them burn, then dumped the ashes into the dregs of his coffee. He slipped the notebook inside an envelope. He then walked across a street to a bank, and placed the envelope inside a safety deposit box. Another five minute's walk brought him to a post office, where he mailed the safety deposit box's key to an address in Konoha. The civilian walk out of the post office, and stepped into a deserted alley. Checking to make sure he was unobserved, the civilian's hands made a half-seal and he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

o-o-o-o-o

Hiruma suddenly stiffened and looked up, and for just a moment, he broke into a feral grin.

"Hmmm? Something wrong?" asked Shikamaru, looking up from the chess-board.

"Nope. Make your move."

The black-haired boy thought for a second, then moved his rook three spaces forward. "Mate in five."

Hiruma studied the board for a minute. "Well, fuck." he muttered, tipping over his king in capitulation. "Where's that leave us?"

"2-0 today. 117-12 overall and 18 draws. Are you sure you don't want to play poker instead?" asked Shikamaru, a trifle smugly.

"Naw, fuckit. Let's stick with chess today. We can play poker next week."

A\N: Welp, we have the first major deviation from canon. Basically, the Fourth's Kyuubi seal is a lot tighter this time around, leaving Hiruma with only a tiny fraction of Naruto's chakra reserves. He's still got quite a bit by regular genin standards, but that's it.

Next chapter: Sena Hyuuga and genin team formation!