Thank you all for the reviews. I'm glad you are all enjoying the pace of the story as I was worried it was too slow. Anyway continue to enjoy and I'll try to update as much as possible. I have posted everything that I've already written so the updates may not be as frequent. Loves xx
Tear Down The Stars Chapter 7
Ashley's P.O.V
I've being lying on my bed in the dark for over an hour now since Spencer left just going over everything that has happened. Normally I would have ran out of the house but due to my stupid grounding I have no choice but to hide in my room like a child. I just can't deal with the looks from Julia and the snide remarks about me or my behaviour. It's like people don't understand that I know I've made mistakes and that I know that I'm a mess. I probably know that more than anybody that pretends to be concerned for my well being. The thing that confuses me more than anything is that I think that Spencer gets it. She gets that I know my own faults and that at some point I'll deal with or least she hopes that I will at some point.
I actually had fun today hanging with Spencer and the twins. I didn't feel like I had to put on a show for anybody like I normally when I'm out or when I'm with certain people. It was refreshing to be almost free for once and without judgement.
I should probably address the slight 'moment' between Spencer and I because that's all I've been really thinking about and the fact that her supposed best friend is a lying bitch. I didn't mean for that to happen but my childish side got the best of me and I just had to pool in her into the pool. Did I have to hold on to her for as long as I did? Probably not but I couldn't let go. Having my hands anywhere near Spencer just feels good and kind of natural. For me this is scary and I'm trying to pretend that it was nothing but then we both just stood there inches away from each other and I felt something. I'm not sure what but it was different and new but still scary. What made it even scarier was how we spoke to each other after that. For some reason I felt like I actually wanted to be more honest with this girl and I wanted her, no I needed her to know how sorry I was for what I did but mostly I wanted her to know that Carmen was a lying bitch. I nearly told her, I really did then Julia walked in and I have to admit that I have never been so happy to see her perfectly tanned face before. So in true Ashley style I bolted and I've been lying here ever since hoping that I will get some flash of genius that will get me out of this situation. I still have school tomorrow and I can't ditch again otherwise my life will not be worth living. I know that I will see Spencer at school because since she came into my life I'm very aware of what classes we have together. For example tomorrow we have English lit and Art together so there is no way of avoiding her.
I hear a knock at more door and I pray that it's not my Dad coming to tell me how useless I am again or Julia to tell me I did something to upset the twins. I'm relieved when I see Kyla poke her head around the door offering me a smile as she enters the room.
"This is all very emo" She states as she turns on a lamp and switches off my music. I sit up on my large bed so I don't look quite as pathetic.
"Just wanted some quiet"
"For any particular reason?" She's on to me, oh God!
"Just the usual shit" I lie hoping that she doesn't use her yoda skills to disarm me.
"Madi said that she drove you home from school today" Yep she is definitely on to me.
"I was feeling a bit crappy from the hang bump so I came home"
"So how is it going with Spencer? Tried to kill her off yet?" She is semi joking but she knows what I'm like.
"Nope she's actually kind of cool" Oh god I hate my own mouth it betrays me on a regular basis. I look at my sister and I can see her eyes double in size and this stupid big smile spreads across her face.
"You think Spencer Carlin is cool? How hard did you hit your head?"
"Not hard enough to block you out apparently" I smirk at her as I say this but she doesn't let my attitude discourage her.
"She is pretty cute huh?" She tries to say this casually but I can see through it from miles away. I know Kyla better than I know anybody but that also means that she knows me pretty well also.
"Things not going well with Aiden?" I joke getting a look that I know too well.
"I'm just simply making an observation about your new friend" She has a point but she won't get to it any time soon.
"I would hardly call us friends. Are you here for any particular reason or just to add to my headache?" I try to sound mean but I seem to be lacking the extra bite that I normal have which worries me.
"Just wanted to check on you"
"Do you still not know how to use your cell phone?"
"You are impossible Ashley. I'll be here at 7 to pick you up for school be ready and no more ditching" Kyla warns me but she's smiling so I know that she is not really bothered by my bad mood. I nod in agreement and she leaves me alone. I could easily tell Kyla about what I think is happening between Spencer and I but she would get involved which isn't something I need in my life. Hell I don't even know what is going on and half the time I'm pretty sure that I'm just imagining the was she checks me out or the way that she looks at me intensely at me when I really laugh. There is no way that she is laughing a genuine laugh when I make a joke or do something dumb and there is absolutely no way that her skin burnt the way my hands did earlier when I touched her. These sorts of things never happen to me and I suppose you could say its because I won't let them but that's part of self preservation. I know deep down that there is no way that Spencer would ever feel anything towards me because I'm not that lucky. So I will continue to be the way I am because it's easier and it's what's expected.
I wake up the next day and the bruise above my eyes seems less obvious which is one good thing. I get dressed for school and I actually try on a number of outfits finally settling on a tight denim skirt and band tee with my chucks. Normally I rock up to school in whatever I feel like but today I want to look good so I make the extra effort to curl my hair and I know that I look good. I put this down to just wanting to feel good which is completely plausible because what girl doesn't want to feel good.
I head down to the kitchen and I hear the normal noise of the twins eating breakfast and messing about while Julia is on some 'important' phone call.
"Hey little ones" I smile as I give them both hugs because they make me feel good.
"Hey Ashwee" They say back in unison.
"Ashley can I please have a word?" Julia asks as she places her cell on to the table next to her coffee. I grab my own coffee and join her. Normally I wouldn't be so compliant but I'm trying to get time knocked off my punishment for good behaviour.
"Look I just wanted to say thank you for helping out Spencer with the twins. I know they can be a hand full sometimes and Spencer does really well but it's good that you were willing to help her. I'm sorry for commenting on your behaviour yesterday but Spencer put me in my place. She's a fiery one that one which is surprising considering you're not even friends. Anyway my point is that I appreciate that you are making more of an effort and as a reward I'm lifting your grounding for tonight, just don't tell you Father" Everything that comes out of Julia's mouth surprises me and I am actually speechless. She has never thanked me, she has never rewarded me and she has NEVER apologised.
"Thank you Julia" Is all I can say before Kyla walks into the room. As I go to leave Julia stops me and hands me some money. I take it because I don't what else to do plus my Dad took my credit card so any donations to the Ashley foundation are welcome. I don't know what comes over me but I actually hug her and she kind of hugs me back. I register that this is awkward for both of us so I pull back and mutter goodbye before darting out of the room but I quickly turn back.
"Later little monsters" I tell the twins and they wave back at me as they munch on their fruit. Kyla gives me a look that I think may be similar to my own expression. We get in the car and I know I still look confused.
"Have a walked into backwards world?" Kyla asks looking back at the house.
"Possibly. Julia actually just said nice things to me Kyla. That has never happened Ky and she gave me money and lifted my punishment for one night" I explain trying to make sense of it but having no luck.
"Guess it's just one of those things"
"These things happen to other people not me"
"Well get used to it because it's happening Ashley. Today could be a good day for you" Kyla warns me and I actually believe her for a moment or two.
After parking up and making our way towards the quad I spot Spencer sat alone at one of the benches. I tell Kyla that I will be over in a moment and head towards Spencer. She doesn't notice my presence so I tap her on the shoulder making her jump which makes me laugh. She looks at me with angry blue eyes but then her frosty exterior melts then she semi smiles at me.
"Sorry to bother you but I just wanted to thank you" I tell her and she looks confused.
"For anything in particular?" She questions as she squints at the sun.
"Julia said that you stuck up for me last night" I inform her and she looks almost embarrassed.
"You weren't supposed know that" She smiles shyly.
"Why not?" I ask and I take a seat so doesn't haven't keep staring into the sun.
"I prefer to be a secret superhero unlike you" She's referring to my own personal reference to being a super hero and I smile because she remembered something I said even if it was dumb.
"Don't worry your secret is safe with me" I whisper and I think I see her blush.
"Good I would hate people to think that I like you" I know she's joking but I actually believe that she does like me just as a friend maybe but that will do.
"Oh God totally. In fact I shouldn't even be sat near you, don't want to ruin your rep" I play along and she laughs, she even pushes my arm softly and I want her to do it again.
"Well I think that both of our secrets are safe. As you can see I'm hardly surrounded by people" She tells me and I feel bad and responsible because I know that in a way her lack of friends is my fault. If I had been nice to her when she started then she would be surrounded by people because she's nice and sweet.
"You should be" I mutter and I know she hears because she blushes again at my compliment but now she's silent and so am I.
"Can I buy you lunch today?" I ask and I am prepared for no.
"Why?" She questions me like I'm playing some sort of joke on her.
"As a thank you" I make up an excuse because I don't want to admit that I actually want to spend time with her.
"You don't have to" Great now she looks upset and I feel bad.
"Spencer I want to okay? I want to have lunch with because I had fun yesterday and I think you did as well. The fact that you are the first person to ever stand up for me is a huge deal so yes I want to thank you but that's not the only reason" I blurt all this crap out without a second thought and I regret it already. Her blue eyes are burning into my brown and I feel my heart speed up again, stupid heart.
"okay you don't have to beg" She smiles and I finally breathe then I laugh at her comment and so does she.
"I know a place off campus if that's cool? I can borrow Kyla's car" I offer and she shrugs her apathy.
"I have my car" She tells me and I'm happy because that means less questions from people at lunch.
"You don't mind driving?"
"Not at all. Meet you here at lunch" She says looking distracted. I follow her gaze and I see Carmen staring at us. She looks hurt and Spencer looks guilty for whatever reason. I feel like I am in the middle of something and I can't bring myself to leave because if they talk then Spencer may cancel our lunch plans. Before I can say anything else Spencer is gone and she is following Carmen who is walking away from her. I watch them until they round the corner and I hope that Spencer doesn't catch up with Carmen.
I zone out during the classes that don't have Spencer in because I'm too busy worrying whether she will actually come to lunch with me. I know that it is just me saying thank you and that after going out tonight I will be over what ever this is. I will find a hot girl to flush my mind of any remaining Spencer thoughts and I will be fixed again. I actually believe this theory until I walk into English lit and I see her. She's sat towards the back of the room and she's talking to Kyla. They look quite relaxed like they have spoken a thousand times before and they probably have for all I know. They both spot me and wave me over to a spare seat next to them. I head over as if I had no choice and I take the seat pulling out my book as if it's the most valuable thing in world because the longer I focus on the book the less I focus on Spencer.
"Do my eyes deceive me or has my sister actually brought her book to a class?" Kyla is teasing me and hate her for a moment. I was hoping that they would just carry on with their conversation and leave me alone.
"Stranger things have happened" I mumble focusing my attention on the teacher that has just entered the classroom. I barely recognise this guy and I don't know his name but I'm grateful that he shushes the class and everybody focus their attention on him including Spencer. I feel Kyla nudge me and she hands me a note.
Stranger things like you asking Spencer on a date?lol
I put my hand on over the letter so nobody can read the words then scribble back.
It's not a date. I owe her one so I'm buying her lunch. Now shut up and pay attention.
She reads the letter and smiles at me like she's in on a secret. The thing is there is no secret, not yet because nothing is happening and I need to keep it that way. I almost won't to pass a note to Spencer saying that I can't do lunch but when I catch a glimpse of her I can't. I want to go to lunch with her, I want to spend some more time with her so I can see her smile some more. Pull yourself together Davies! I yell this in my head and I feel like an idiot. I feel like an idiot because I don't do this, I don't get crushes...is this even a crush? I need to get over this but I really want to especially in this second. Spencer has realised that she doesn't have her book so she scoots closer to me to share mine. She is leaning over me and her hand is sort of touching mine and I feel that fire again. I can smell her shampoo and perfume, it's so sweet and it's taking over my sense. I want to put my hand up and escape to the bathroom but something stops me so I'm stuck sitting so close to Spencer and I'm kind of enjoying it. I am so screwed!