I drove to school today, but my mom took the car with her. She told me to either get a ride from a friend or walk home. I'll probably be walking home at the end of the day.
I walk into my first period and see Trish. I run to her and hug her tightly. "Trish! Oh, my gosh, hey! You're feeling better, I'm guessing?" I say. Trish has been sick for the past four days. I think she had the flu but she refused to go to the doctor.
"Yes, I'm feeling better," she says. "Why haven't you answered my calls and texts?"
"Oh... I've been... a little stressed. I have some things to tell you," I say, "but you have to promise not to kill me. It's not my fault anyway."
"All right, I promise," she says.
The bell rings. "I'll tell you in free period."
"I don't have a free period," she tells me.
"Yes, you do," I say. "Do you remember how you got out of Shop Class? And now you go shopping during that period?"
"Ohhhh, that's a free period?" she asks me.
"Yeah, except you can't go shopping today," I say. "Promise?"
She sighs. "Promise."
I've been able to avoid Austin all day. In fact, I haven't seen him at all today. He's probably having break-up sex with Cassidy or something. I don't know. I mean, I'm guessing, because I haven't seen either of them all day.
But since I've been avoiding Austin, Dallas comes to fill his place. I wait by my locker in free period, waiting for Trish. Instead, Dallas walks up, looking happy as can be.
"I see you and Austin aren't together anymore," he says, smiling brightly.
"Um... no, we're still..." I swallow, forcing myself to say the word. "... together."
"That's... not what I heard," he says, his smile slowly fading.
"Oh, yeah?" I ask. "And what exactly did you hear?"
"I heard that you two were faking it so that Austin could break up with Cassidy," he says.
I raise my eyebrows at him. "Oh, really? Who told you that?"
He stands up straight, completely ready to lie straight to my face. He melts as he looks into my eyes though. "My brain."
"That's what I thought," I say.
"But he really is cheating on you!" he tells me. "He's still with Cassidy! They're in there right now, making out!" I follow his pointing finger to the supply closet next to my locker. Now that it's quiet, I do hear noises coming from the closet. "See for yourself!"
I shrug and open the door, not caring if they're making out. Even though something small does pull on my heart as I rest my hand on the door knob. I pull the door open. Austin's back is bent way too much. He's being pushed back onto a table in the closet by Cassidy. He keeps turning his face away from her. "No, Cassidy!" he shouts. I see that she's trying to kiss him. His eyes are squeezed shut, as if he's actually afraid of kissing her or something. His hands are pinned to the table with her own.
"Come on!" she yells. "Just kiss me! Take me! Do whatever you want with me! I will not lose you to that ugly little bitch, Ally!"
They don't seem to have noticed I've opened the door. "Ally isn't ugly and she's not a bitch!" Austin says. "How are you so strong?!"
"I don't think you want to know," she says.
He stops struggling and looks up at Cassidy, his head tilted a little. "You've been cheating on me," he says calmly. "You've been cheating on me with... You've been giving handies to Wilson, the quarterback, haven't you? I heard he's huge. It would take a lot to give him a handjob. That's why you're so strong." He grins, shaking his head, and chuckles. "I should've known you were a cheater, Cassidy Jones. Most cheerleaders are sluts, and you're the cheerleading captain."
"No, Austin," she says quietly. "No! That's not what's been going on! You have to believe me, Austin."
With a sudden burst of strength, Austin frees his hands and stands up straight, now towering over Cassidy. "Every day, we tease Wilson about not having a girlfriend. And he always tells us that he does have a girlfriend, that he's dating a cheerleader. And now I know." He smiles. "Cassidy, I broke up with you yesterday. And I'm sticking with that decision. Ally's my fiancée and I'm not gonna have two girls. Go find Wilson."
Austin starts to turn, but I'm already running down the hallway. "Austin!" I hear Cassidy wail, tears making her unable to speak as well. It echoes down the near-empty hallway.
"Dallas, what are you doing here?" I hear Austin ask. I look back just in time to see Dallas point down the hall at me. Austin turns his head and I turn mine as well, just in time to see the brick wall at the end of the hall. I crash straight into it. I hear more footsteps bounce off the walls. I rub my head as I stand up. I turn to my right and continue down the hall, half-jogging half-limping.
"Ally, are you okay?" Austin asks from behind me as he catches up.
"Imfunustin," I mumble.
"You're fun?" Austin asks me.
"Fun!" I exclaim. "I'm fun!" Blood drips down onto my shirt.
"Are you trying to say 'fine'?" Austin asks me, walking beside me now. "Uh, your lip's bleeding. Come on, let's go to the nurse."
"I'm fun!" I yell. When I try to say the "f," my teeth graze across my split-open lip and it hurts, so I end up saying "fun" instead of "fine." I whimper, trying to suck the blood from my lip.
"Don't do that," Austin warns me. "It's just gonna hurt worse." Austin tries to lead me in the direction of the nurse's office but I won't let him.
"Damnit," I say. I start to take the top of my shirt and dab my lip with it, but Austin stops me.
"You're gonna leave a stain, Ally," Austin tells me. "Stop it." He leads me over to a bench on the side of the hallway and sits me down. He puts his book bag beside me and rummages through it. "Uh, here."
He hands me a white T-shirt. When I just stare at it, unaware of what he wants me to do, he takes my hand and pushes it up to my lip gently, probably to stop the bleeding. I feel the blood begin to flow slower. He continues to look in his bag for about a minute before he just zips it up. Austin looks at me, sitting down beside me and putting his book bag on the floor.
"So what did you hear?" he asks.
"I just heard you say no to Cassidy and the last thing I heard was..." I decide to lie. Since I'm already talking like I have braces and I'm looking at his T-shirt every few seconds, I don't think he'll be able to notice. "... how you said you tease Wilson about not having a girlfriend. Then I left."
He looks at me closely, trying to study my eyes which I keep glued to the bloody T-shirt. "Are you sure that's the last thing you heard?" he asks.
I nod. He sits back, seemingly relieved by my answer. He opens his mouth to say something but Dallas rounds the corner, out of breath. "You're such a slow runner," Austin says to Dallas, his sweet side leaving us.
"No, you're just fast," Dallas argues. He kneels down in front of me. "Ally, baby, are you okay?" He places his hands on my knees. "Don't ever scare me like that again. You could've—"
"Dallas. Can't you just leave me alone?" I ask, taking Austin's T-shirt away from my lip. Dallas starts to say something about it, but I just keep talking. "I mean, this is exactly why I broke up with you. You were too clingy! And now you still won't leave me alone! You make me want to move to Canada... Or at least transfer schools!" I say.
"Don't transfer!" Austin and Dallas say simultaneously.
Dallas sighs. "If you just give me one last kiss, I'll leave you alone," Dallas promises. "Forever." Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me. I glance at Austin who shakes his head.
I swallow. "I'll have to think about it," I say. He just sits there, staring at me, waiting for my decision. "Fine."
"Ally, you don't have to do this," Austin says.
"He won't leave me alone unless I do," I remind him, "so I think I do."
"No, I can keep him away from you," he tells me.
"Yeah, and why would you do that?" I ask. "You don't owe me anything." He starts to say something but I'm already leaning down to... kiss Dallas. I'm almost at his lips before someone cries, "Wait!"
I look up and see Trish walking toward us. "Sorry I'm late. Mr. Dickwall" —his real name is Mr. Hickwall but Trish doesn't like him so she calls him that— "wouldn't let me leave and then I went to your locker and you weren't there and I couldn't find you," she says. "What the hell are you doing?"
"Um... Dallas said he'd leave me alone if I kissed him," I say, my face still inches from his.
"I tried to stop them," Austin says.
"We can talk about this later," Trish says. She takes Austin's shirt from me and holds up the bloody part. "And this too. This is yours, isn't it, Austin? You might wanna wash that," she says, throwing it at him. She takes my hand and leads me away from Austin and Dallas. She takes me to the empty band room.
There aren't any instruments in here since they just finished painting it. We sit down on the floor and Trish takes in my appearance. "What happened, Ally?" she asks, looking pretty disappointed in me.
"Cassidy was attacking Austin, trying to get him to kiss her. At the end of their conversation, Austin smiled and said, 'Ally's my fiancée and—"
"Ally's his what now?" she asks me, her eyes wide.
"Oh, yeah, um... ourparentsareforcingusintomarriageandtheresnothing wecandoaboutit," I mutter quickly. Trish just stares at me. I sigh. "Our parents are forcing us into marriage and there's nothing we can do about it."
"Awww!" Trish exclaims.
My mouth drops open. "Trish! Do you not remember how I hate Austin?!" I ask.
She just smiles. "Yeah, I remember, but... Austin can be pretty sweet and he's pretty hot," she tells me. "And he's on the football team for God's sake!"
"Austin is mean and... he's cute. I wouldn't go as far as saying he's hot," I grumble like a child who isn't getting her way. "And am I the only one who didn't know he was on the football team?"
"Ally! Where do you think he goes on Monday after school?" she asks me. "And why do you think I always scream at Number Eighteen at football games?"
"Is he supposed to be Number Eighteen?" I ask her blankly. She nods, rolling her eyes.
"All right, on to Dallas. Were you really about to kiss him when I could've just scared him away?" she asks.
"I forgot about you... I'm sorry. Would you really do that for me?" I ask.
"Of course. Now tell me: Have you and Austin kissed yet?" she asks.
I blush a little. "Yeah..."
"Ooh, you're blushing! Is he a good kisser?!" she asks me.
I'm snapped back to reality. "No," I say, "he's a terrible kisser."
"I would gladly take your place, Ally, if I could," Trish tells me.
I roll my eyes. "And I would gladly let you," I say. The bell rings. "See you after school?"
"See you after school," Trish agrees.
Dallas has left me alone. I'm guessing Trish has talked to him. Austin, however, walks right up to me the next time I see him. Which is after school. I'm going to regret asking him this, but, "Do you have a ride home?"
"Isn't that you?" he asks me.
"No, my mom has the car," I tell him.
"So what do we do?" he asks.
I shrug. "I guess I'm walking home."
"Da, da, da, da... Da, da, da, da..." Trish walks up, singing the wedding song. I hear Austin chuckle at my side. "Ah, there's the happy couple." Trish looks at me. "Can I have a ride home?"
"No," I say.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry about calling you two a happy couple and singing the wedding song," she says.
"No, I said no because my mom has the car," I tell her. "She didn't leave it here. I guess she had errands to run."
"So we're all stranded here or has Austin got a ride?" Trish asks.
"I'm walking," I tell them. I walk through the parking lot to the road and start toward my house. A tune starts to play in my head and I hum along with it. "What kind of man misunderstands a woman like you?" I sing, not entirely sure where it came from. "Sees her in black and white."
That seems to be the opposite of Austin. He doesn't seem to know how to misunderstand me. He sees through my lies with ease. Maybe I'm thinking of Dallas. He has no idea what I want. I continue humming, unable to think of any more lyrics. Austin and Trish catch up to me.
"What did you just say?" Austin asks me.
"I was singing," I tell him.
"What song?" he asks.
"I can't remember what it's called," I lie, not looking at him. "I just heard it on the radio this morning."
Austin stares at me, walking beside me now. "You're lying," he says. Trish hurries, walking on my other side now, not wanting to miss a thing.
"Am not," I say.
"Ally."
"I'm not lying! I didn't write that!" I yell.
Austin smirks, one corner of his mouth tilting up. This is really the only time I would call him "hot." Smirks can be pretty sexy. "No one said you wrote it, Ally," he tells me.
I swear under my breath. "Okay, I wrote it," I admit. "But I didn't mean to. I just kinda... sang it."
"Now we can be just like Aiden and Ashley," he tells me. "All I have to do is steal your song." He laughs.
"Aiden and Ashley?" Trish asks. "Are you talking about that lame show on Disney Channel?"
"I love that show!" I exclaim. "It isn't lame."
"The only part I like about it is that character, Tara," she tells Austin and I. "And I kinda think that Dan character is pretty cute."
"I think Dan looks like Dez," Austin says.
"Ew, no, he doesn't!" Trish shouts.
I look at Trish. "Yeah, he does," I agree with Austin.
Trish huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. Speaking of Dez, he jumps out of the bushes and points his sword at Austin again. He's still clutching that stupid jar of dirt. "Surrender to me the heart of Davy Jones or ye shall perish!" Dez shouts at him. Austin's hands shoot up in surrender.
"What the hell?" Trish says.
"I don't have it!" Austin yells.
"Ye are a liar!" Dez exclaims. "Ye stole the heart from me jar of dirt!"
"No, I didn't!" Austin says.
"Ye shall walk the plank then!" Dez says. He looks around. "Argh, we have no plank. Ye shall learn and dance the Irish jig in front of the school Monday then!"
"Fine, fine!" Austin shouts. "Just don't slice me up!"
Dez walks behind him and prods Austin in the back with his sword, making Austin walk faster. As they walk faster in front of us, I see that the back of Austin's shirt has a few dots of blood from where the sword dug into him.
"Dez, stop it!" I shout after them.
Dez turns on me, pointing the sword at me now as he walks back to Trish and I. "Excuse me?"
"You're making your best friend bleed! You're going to end up slicing right through his back and his stomach if you don't stop now!" I scream at him. I take a deep breath, watching as Austin spins around in circles, trying to see the blood. "Dez, can I have a hug?" I ask suddenly, shocking everyone.
Austin stops spinning and stares at me, one eyebrow raised. Trish has a look of disgust painted on her face. Austin starts walking toward us again.
"Of course ye can have a hug!" Dez exclaims, lowering his sword and stepping nearer to me. I wrap my arms around him and he wraps his around me. When we pull away, I yank his sword out of his grasp and hand it to Austin who runs in the opposite direction with it. "Argh, gimme back me sword!" Dez runs after him.
"No! You're going insane!" I hear Austin shout. "You don't need this sword!"
"Wait, is Dez talking about that weird, rubber, purple heart?" Trish asks me.
I shrug. "I dunno. I guess," I say.
"Yeah, I have that," she tells me.
"What?!" I ask. "You do realize you almost got Austin killed because of that heart, right?!"
"Oh. Does the Great Ally Dawson care about Austin?" she asks me.
"No!" I say quickly. "I just don't think he should die over something that isn't his fault."
"If you say so," Trish says. As we walk past her neighborhood, she says, "I'll see you tomorrow at the mall."
"You aren't going to school tomorrow?" I ask.
"Ally, today is Friday," she tells me.
"Oh," I say.
"I think Austin's getting to you," she says, ruffling my hair, "making you go insane."
I lie in bed, staring at the dark ceiling. I wonder if Austin gave Dez back his sword. I wonder if Dez killed Austin with his sword.
Highly unlikely, I know. But I haven't seen him since he ran off with Dez's sword. He didn't come over or anything. I did see Mimi though. Her and my mom had been doing errands, like I thought. They must've been hilarious because they kept giggling when they told me. They didn't go into detail though.
And I had a feeling I didn't want to know them.
I fall asleep.
It's 5am and I can't sleep. Everything's in black and white. For some reason, I'm reading the phone book. The grey morning light shines through my window onto Austin's name.
It says he isn't alone.
Five minutes before, I remember Austin leaving my room angrily. He said our love was a prison, a handicap. He told me, "Goodbye." He said it as if it were the period to his sentence. As I walk to my balcony, my room turns into a prison cell, and I feel like I'm in Alcatraz.
I look out my window and see the rocky waters. I see a cliff. It holds Austin and a stranger. Austin's pushed and he falls to his death as he hits his head on a sharp rock in the water. I try to scream, but all that comes out is a squeak. "Suicide..." the walls in my prison cell whisper. "It was suicide..."
"It was murder!" I shout. "It was murder."
Why was he killed though? I hear mission bells ringing somewhere higher. I let him get away.
I feel like the end of a Hitchcock movie. A little dark and a lot confusing. We were the last of the worst pretenders, so lost in love.
I wake up, hot, sweaty, and gasping for breath. I feel around in the darkness. The first thing my fingers hit is a pencil. And then my songbook. I scribble down a bunch of words on one page, front and back. I'm not sure what I wrote, but it felt important. I put my book and my pencil down. I feel around again and find my phone.
I dial a number and press call. "Hello?" a groggy voice answers after about two rings.
"Austin?" I ask. "Austin!"
"Ally?" he asks, seemingly more alert now. "What are you doing up?" He pauses. "It's 3 in the morning. What's wrong? Are you okay?"
The walls are still whispering, "Suicide." "It was murder!" I exclaim.
"What?" Austin asks. "Ally, I think you should go back to bed."
"No, don't leave," I say quickly, grasping my phone with both hands, as if that'll make him stay on. "Just don't leave. I need to make sure you're okay."
"I'm fine. It's you we should be worrying about," he says.
"I don't believe you," I whisper. "Austin, listen. I had a dream you died and... I just want you..." I trail off as the voices close in on my head. I let out a high-pitched moan, clutching my head. They're giving me a headache.
"Ally? Are you okay?" Austin asks again.
They come from all around now, up, down, right, left. Everywhere. "Suicide..." "Suicide..." "Suicide..." "Suicide..." They overlap, making my headache worse.
I groan again, dropping my phone and trying to massage my temples. The whispers just get louder and they multiply. I hear Austin say something and the line goes dead. "No!" They got Austin! I fall to the floor, looking for my phone. I can't see a thing.
I blink, trying to make my eyes adjust to the darkness. Finally, I can see the outline of most of the things in my room, but I still can't see my phone. I keep looking.
"Suicide, suicide, suicide, suicide..."
I'm going insane! I groan, moan, and lash out on the air in front of me, trying to make the voices, that I know are in my head, shut up. I hear a tap on my balcony door. They're coming for me now... I whimper as I back up until my back hits my bed. The lock slowly unlocks itself and the door opens.
I see the outline of a tall, dark figure. He closes the door behind him and makes his way across the room. He kneels in front of me and I try to shrink down, try to make myself disappear. "I'm not ready to die," I whisper. I notice I've started crying.
"You're not gonna die," someone says.
"How can you say that after you killed Austin?" I ask.
"What?" they ask. "Ally, it's me. It's Austin."
"You're lying," I say, my voice wavering.
"You don't believe me?" the voice asks me.
"No," I say quietly.
The figure takes something out of his pocket and I jump. It could be anything. "Don't," I whisper, shaking my head. A light comes from the object they took from their pocket. They shine the light on their face and I see that it is Austin. I lunge forward and wrap my arms around his neck. He puts his around my waist.
"Oh, my God," I say. "You're alive."
"Of course I'm alive," he says into my ear. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Well, I had that dream, and then the line went dead and—"
"This isn't a dream," he tells me. "This is real life. And I hung up. I told you I was coming and I hung up. The line didn't go dead, Ally."
I start shaking. "I'm sorry," I whisper. He tightens his grip on my waist and I tighten mine as well.
"Don't be sorry," he says. "You had a bad dream and it scared you. I have dreams like that all the time."
"Really?" I ask. "What do you have bad dreams about?"
"I'd rather not say," he tells me. "But they're a little like yours."
"Later?" I ask, sniffling.
"Later," he promises.
I nod. I squeeze my eyes shut as my headache fades. When I found out it really was Austin, the voices all stopped at once. Austin picks me up and sits down on my bed with me in his lap.
"You know what?" Austin asks. "I bet Dez made you have that bad dream. You were freaking out about him making me bleed. Maybe you thought he could've killed me."
"Yeah." I nod. I rest my head on his shoulder. "Don't die," I say. "Don't ever die."
"I'll have to some day," he reminds me.
"Don't let it be murder. Don't let it be suicide. Let it be natural causes," I say. "Promise?"
"Promise." He swallows. "So what happened in your dream?"
I recount every little detail of my dream to him. "So someone pushed me into the rocky waters off Alcatraz? Why were you in prison in the first place?" he asks.
I shake my head. "No clue."
"Wait, did you say that I said our love was a prison?" he asks. I nod. "Maybe that's the Alcatraz part." I hear something and I jump. I struggle to get out of Austin's arms, but he just holds me tight.
"Ally, calm down. It was just..." He pauses, leaning down to pick something up. "... this book. A book fell."
"The light," I say. "I need to turn the light on." I manage to get out of his arms this time and I turn it on. "Don't touch my book," I say, snatching it from his grasp.
"What kind of book is that?" he asks me. "Why is it so important?"
I don't answer him. I just flip to the last page and look at what I wrote in the dark. It's surprisingly neat and it's a song. I want to sing it. But I glance at Austin... and realize that it's 3 in the morning.
Reality hits me at the same moment. Austin... is in my room... on my bed... at three in the morning...
"You can..." go now. But I don't want him to. If he leaves my room, he'll die. Well, that's what my mind is telling me. I know he won't, but...
"I can what?" Austin asks me.
I'll sing it at work tomorrow. "Nothing," I say. "I was going to say you can go now but..." I just trail off.
"You don't want me to." It was a statement. Not a question. He knew.
I get onto my bed and sit at the head of it, my back on the wall.
"I won't." He takes off his sneakers and pulls his feet up onto my bed. I actually look at him and take in his clothes. He's wearing pajama pants with fire trucks on them. But his shirt is just a white T-shirt. And if you look closely enough, you can see stains that look a little like ketchup.
"Are you wearing my blood shirt?" I ask, a look of disgust crossing my face.
"I washed it!" he says.
"That's disgusting," I tell him.
He rolls his eyes. "It was warm," he says. "I had just taken it out of the dryer and my house was freezing. So I put it on. Chill."
"Are you sure you didn't put it on just because you're in love with me and wanted to wear something I'd used?" I joke.
"Maybe I did," he jokes back, on his hands and knees now, close to my face. He looks my face over once, twice. "You know, you could kiss me if you wanted."
If you're wondering how I got Austin's football number, I just added up all of the letters in Ally's name. A1 L2 L3 Y4 S5 O6 N7 M8 A9 R10 I11 E12 D13 A14 W15 S16 O17 N18
Anyhoodles, we the internet guys lied. They won't be coming until this Wednesday. Possibly. They said last Wednesday. Then they moved it to Thursday. Now it's Wednesday. I wouldn't be surprised if the internet didn't come until next month. -_- Anyway, I'm going to upload some more chapters to my Document Manager so I can possibly update tomorrow. Anyhoodles, review!
LoVe, KeNzIe