"Maybe I will," I say.

"Oh, yeah?" he asks, challenging me.

"Yeah," I spit, almost angrily.

"Then why don't you do it?" he asks me.

"Maybe I don't wanna," I say, pushing my eyebrows together in frustration.

"I thought you said you would," he says.

"I did. Doesn't mean I want to," I say firmly.

"So what you're saying is that you're scared," he fires back.

"I'm not scared," I retaliate. "I've done it before."

"Oh, really? Name one time you kissed me," he says. "And when I say you kissed me, I mean you started the kiss."

I open my mouth to name one time, but I'm at a loss. "That time, yesterday, when I told my mom I was busy and then I—"

"Doesn't count," he says.

"That totally counts!"

"No, it doesn't," he tells me. "You were just continuing the kiss that I started."

"Fine. How about when..." I trail off. I haven't started one of our kisses. It was always him. "It isn't fair. You just have a better sense of hearing than I do. You know when someone's about to walk in and you seem to know that they want to talk about the wedding stuff."

"How do you know I don't just want to kiss you?" Austin asks me. That shuts me up. "How do you know that we don't just get lucky that our moms walk in?"

"Actually. You remember that time I started the kiss?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "When was that?"

"Right now," I tell him. I put my hands on either side of his face and pull him a few inches forward. I feel Austin's tongue graze across my lips. I open them and allow him inside. It hurts my bottom lip a little, since it's just starting to close up. Don't breathe in, Ally. Don't breathe in. When I need a breath, I break away from Austin.

"Okay," he says, grinning and shaking his head. "You are way too easy, Allyson."

"You're a jerk," I say, shoving him hard in chest. Geez, my lip hurts now. I must've irritated the sore when I kissed Austin. He doesn't seem to mind that he kissed a disgusting lip though. He laughs and sits back down. "Go home. I don't even care anymore. Get murdered. See if I fucking care!" I throw my hands up in frustration.

Austin frowns, all traces of a grin gone. "Oh. Okay," he says, standing up and slipping his sneakers on. He's at my balcony door in half a second.

"Austin, no, don't leave," I say, standing up. I run to the door in time to watch him jump over the railing. "Austin, I didn't mean it," I call into my dimly-lit front yard. Austin's still close so the flood lights are still shining on him. "Come back. Please. Austin!"

"No, it's fine, Ally. I'm just gonna go out and get murdered. I live to make you happy," he says, sarcastically, putting his hand over his heart. "So if getting murdered does that, then, hell, who needs a long, happy life anyway?! Not me! Life is for losers anyway! No one needs it!"

"Austin, stop it," I say quietly, trying to swallow a lump in my throat. I sink to my knees and look through the bars that hold up the banister. "That isn't funny, Austin."

"Well, it seems to amuse you!" He starts to walk away.

"Austin, get your ass back up here." I meant for it to come out angrily, but, honestly, it was so weak that I'm not even sure he heard. I raise my voice as much as I can, so that he'll hear it. "If you don't get back up here, I'll—I'll—I'll give handies to Wilson until I'm strong enough to beat you up."

Austin stops abruptly. He turns around and walks back into the light, pointing a finger at me. "Now that isn't funny at all. That's—That's just downright insulting."

"I'll do it," I threaten him. "You think I won't?"

I walk back into my room, grabbing a jacket and pulling it on. I walk downstairs and out the door. I start down the sidewalk. Austin catches up to me in a second. "Where are you going?" he asks me.

"Wilson's house," I tell him.

"You don't know where he lives," he says.

"Oh, I don't, do I? Few years ago, he dated a friend of mine before he got popular. She and I used to go to his house all the time," I explain to him.

"You're bluffing," he accuses me.

"If I were bluffing, I'd stop to talk to you," I tell him. "I wouldn't keep walking. Does that make sense?" Austin nods. "Thought so. Now I know that Wilson never sleeps. He stays up all night, exercising. Do you know what he benches? A lot. I can't remember exactly, but he benches a lot.

"He's huge. In more ways than one. I think he'll always be bigger than you. In more ways than one. And he'll always be better than you. In more ways than one."

I'm trying to make Austin feel bad and yell at me and come back to my house. I'm hoping he'll blow up before we get to Wilson's house. He seems to be standing his ground though. I guess he really thinks I'm bluffing. Ha. Ally Dawson doesn't bluff. Most of the time.

Unfortunately, I run out of things to say about Wilson and we reach his house quickly. I remember him saying that his parents are heavy sleepers so I knock on the door.

"Ally," Austin says but I ignore him.

Wilson opens the door, towering over Austin and I both. His muscles are bulging and he's holding a large dumbbell in one hand. "Wilson, hi! Do you remember me?" I ask him.

"Ally!" he exclaims. He drops the dumbbell, picks me up, and spins me around. The breath is knocked out of me. "Haven't seen you in forever! Why don't you and Whitney come by anymore? I mean, I know we broke up, but I really enjoyed your company."

"Well, you got popular!" I say as he sets me down. "And Whitney and I aren't really friends anymore..."

"Why not?" Wilson asks.

"Oh, you know... creative differences... fights... Jeremy Weller," I say.

"Oh, man, she got him, didn't she?" he asks.

"Yeah," I mutter. "She told me the reason I didn't was because I was too fat and too ugly."

"Please, Ally, it's pretty much impossible for you to gain weight and you have a show-stopping face! Any guy would be lucky to have you," Wilson promises me. I smile and look down, blushing a little. "So what's up? Why are you here at—" He looks at his watch. "Jesus, Ally—four in the morning?"

"I... I need to do something," I tell him.

"And what's that?" Wilson asks.

"Ally, you don't have to do this," Austin says.

"Monica!" Wilson exclaims, looking around me at Austin. "Didn't even see you there! What are you doing here with Ally-Cat?"

Austin doesn't say anything. "Yeah, so about that thing I need to do..."

"What is it?" Wilson asks me.

"Uh..." I don't know how to ask him to let me give him a handjob. I especially don't know how to tell him that I'm just doing it to make Austin mad without Austin knowing. I could use the "sexy approach" girls sometimes use. You know, when girls lean up and whisper something sexy in the guy's ear. I lean up on tiptoes and put my lips close to Wilson's ears.

"Listen," I whisper to him, "I told Austin I was going to come over here and give you a handjob, but I only said it because I wanted to piss him off. I told him I wasn't bluffing and, well, here we are. So I'd really appreciate it if you pretended to invite me inside to... you know..." I stand up straight and look up at him.

Wilson's face melts into a smile. "Of course, Ally-Cat," Wilson says to me. "Come on inside and we can... uh..." He glances at Austin. "... get started."

"Awesome," I say. I start to walk inside. I look back over my shoulder at Austin. He has his hands shoved into his pockets. He shrugs at me as if to say, "Go on in. See if I care." I walk the rest of the way inside and close the door behind me.

"Wow," Wilson says as we walk down the hall. "I really thought he was going to try to stop you."

"Yeah," I say. "Guess I underestimated him..."

"So aren't you guys getting married?" he asks me. "I heard that around school and wanted you to confirm or deny it."

"No, it's true..." I mutter. "Our parents are forcing us to."

"Oh, that sucks," Wilson says. "But, you know, that just makes this situation even worse."

"I know, right?!" I say. "Austin is a terrible fian—"

I'm cut off by a knock on the front door. "I guess he isn't as terrible as we think he is," Wilson tells me, turning around and walking back to the door. I follow behind him. Wilson opens the door.

As soon as it's open, Austin grabs my arm and pulls me through the door. "Maybe another time, Wilson. Ally and I can do... that... on our own, thanks," Austin says. He reaches forward and pulls Wilson's door closed. "See you after school Monday," he says before he pulls it completely shut. "What the hell is your problem?" Austin asks me as we walk back toward our house.

"I told you I wasn't bluffing," is all I say.

"Well, next time, could you just bluff?"

"Honestly, Ally, you're an awful—"

I close the door to my room and turn on him. "Excuse me? Don't even, Austin. You're the one who was about to just let me. Can I tell you the truth, Austin?" I ask.

He nods. "Be my guest." He sits down on my bed and lies back.

"I was bluffing," I tell him. He sits up straight and looks me in the eye, waiting for my next sentences. "I was hoping you'd turn me around and bring me back here. I didn't even think you'd let me get all the way to Wilson's house. I think we've both done bad things tonight. Now get off of my bed. Go home, Austin. Don't get yourself killed; just go the hell home."

"Wh—What if I get murdered?" Austin asks me, standing up with wide eyes. Not the surprised kind of wide; the small child wide.

I look away from him, unable to stand it. I climb into bed and cover myself up with the blanket. "Call the police," I answer. "Oh, turn off the light on your way out please." Suddenly, I'm bathed in darkness and I hear the door open. After a few moments, it closes again and I'm sure Austin's gone. The highlights of my dream—mostly the creepy parts and the part where Austin was murdered—come rushing back to me. "God, please, don't let Austin get murdered..." I whisper to my ceiling.

I feel a weight on my bed and then I feel arms wrap around me. "I won't get murdered," Austin promises me, "because I'm staying right here. On request."

One side of my mouth comes up in a half-smile. "You scared me; I could've had a heart attack. You're a dick, you know that?" I ask.

"I know," Austin says simply.

"Are you a dick on purpose?" I ask.

"Mm, sometimes," he tells me.

The other side of my mouth tilts up and I melt backward into his chest.

I wake up on top of Austin's chest. Our bodies are almost parallel and our legs are wrapped around each other's. I see that I've drooled a bit on his shirt as I raise my head.

I look at Austin's face and see that he's cuter sleeping than he is awake. I rise onto my knees, still on top of Austin, and I push myself up. "No!" he suddenly shouts, scaring me. Austin's arms tighten around my waist, pulling my torso back down. "Dallas, no! Stop it! Ally's mi—!" His eyes shoot open and they stare into mine. He's out of breath.

"Uh, morning," I say.

"Hi," he manages after a few moments.

"You okay?" I ask.

He nods. "I'm fine," he answers.

"Okay... Can you let go of me now?" I ask. "This is really uncomfortable."

"Sure," he says. He releases me from his grasp and I stand up, feeling a little awkward.

"I have to get to work," I tell him.

"What am I supposed to do?" he asks me.

"Leave?" I suggest questioningly.

"No, I mean, I have nothing planned for today," he tells me.

"So?"

"So, what should I do?" he asks.

I'm going to regret saying this. "You can come to work with me," I say.

"Really?!" he asks me. "You never let me come to work with you!"

"That's because, last time you came, you and Dez ruined half the store!" I remind him.

"I tripped!" Austin says in his defense.

"Don't trip this time," I mutter. "You go home and get dressed. I will, too, and I'll come over. We can go together."

"Sounds good," he says. He sits up and pulls on his sneakers. Then he stands up and leaves my room, saying, "Later."

I walk into my closet. I pull on a black blouse with a blue jean skirt and a pair of wedges. I walk to the bathroom to brush my teeth and do my hair. I spray a few sprays of strawberry-smelling perfume.

"Okay," I whisper to myself as I glance at myself in the mirror. I grab my phone and my songbook and walk over to Austin's house. He's sitting on his front porch steps, waiting for me. He's wearing holey, dark-washed jeans with a chain coming from the pocket and a red T-shirt. He's put back on his yellow Converse that he was wearing before he left.

"You have that book again," Austin notices, staring at it. He stands up and we walk toward my mom's car. She probably car-pooled with Mimi so she could leave it for me. "What is it?"

"A book," I answer, "my favorite book."

"What's it about?" Austin asks me.

"Everything," I tell him. We climb into Mom's car. As I turn it on, Austin continues with his questions.

"What do you mean, everything?"

"It's... sort of an autobiography," I say.

"About who?"

"Could you calm down with the stupid questions?" I explode. "It's a book that's still being written and it'll never be published."

"A diary?" Austin asks, a grin appearing on his face. "Your diary?"

I roll my eyes and start driving. When I pull out onto a busy road, Austin reaches over and grabs my book. "Austin!" I shout, trying to keep my eyes on the road and snatch my book from him at the same time. "Gimme my book!"

"'Austin... Austin... Austin...'" Austin reads as he flips through the pages. "Gee, Ally, you write about me a lot. Are you in love with me or something?" he teases.

"I don't write about you that much! If I write about you a lot, it's because I'm writing about something you've done to piss me off!" I yell. "And I'll write about this later!"

"Hold on," Austin says. "Is this what I think it is?" He gasps. "A song?! Allyson Dawson wrote a song?! Why, I never..."

"Don't. Read. That." I almost swerve off the road because of the anger I'm feeling.

"And if I do?" he asks.

"If you read that, I'll hate you forever and I'll never talk to you again and I'll just die," I tell him.

He doesn't say anything for a moment. He starts flipping through the pages again. "Geez, I'm not even reading them and I see the word 'love' or something like that in them," he says. "Wait... This first part sounds familiar..." He takes a deep breath. "I had a dream you died," he sings. "And I just wanna be with you tonight." He just took a guess at the tune. And he guessed correctly. This is the tune I had stuck in my head yesterday. I guess that's where he got it from. He reads it through. "Hey, isn't that the part you were singing yesterday?"

"Isn't that where you got the tune from?" I ask.

Austin shakes his head. "No, I just thought it sounded good," he tells me. "But I just read that part and I guess that is where I got it from. Mission bells were ringin' somewhere higher," he continues. "I let you get away. Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I let you get away. Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh."

"Hey!" I exclaim. "Don't go adding oh's and whoa's to my song. I write the songs. I decide whether or not I think the oh's and whoa's are necessary."

"Isn't that what you said to me last night?" Austin asks. "Or this morning, really. You said, 'I had a dream you died. And I just want to be with you...' Isn't that what you said?"

"Yes, it's what I said!" I say, frustrated now. "Gimme my damn book." I snatch it from him and slide it under my thigh.

Austin tilts his head, smiling at me. "You wrote a song about me," he says. "I'm touched. Really."

"It isn't..." about you. But it is. "Whatever."

"That's cute," he tells me. "You wrote a song about the love of your life."

I pull over to the side of the road. "Get out," I say.

"What?"

"Did I stutter?" I ask.

"But—"

"Out!" I say. "You read my book, you read my diary entries, and you read one of my songs! You violated my privacy. Get. Out!" I look at him with angry eyes.

He opens the door quickly and practically falls out of the car. I reach over and close the door, driving away. Unfortunately, we're pretty close to the mall so he won't have to walk very far. I feel like screaming as I pull into the mall parking lot. I can't believe I let him spend the night. That was a huge mistake. I let my guard down and now the enemy soldiers—Austin—have gotten in and killed me.

I walk into Sonic Boom and see Trish waiting for me by the counter where my dad is working. "Hey, Dad, I'm here for my shift," I tell him.

"Oh, thank the Lord," he says. "They're having a sale in the food court and I wouldn't wanna miss it!" He runs out of Sonic Boom and I walk behind the counter.

Trish takes one look at me and asks, "What's got you in a bad mood?"

"Austin had my book," I mutter. "He read my diary and he skimmed through and read some of my songs. I warned him that if he read one of my songs that I'd hate him forever and never talk to him again. And I'm sticking to that."

"You're not gonna talk to him anymore?" she asks me. "And you hate him? How? How do you manage that? Can I have him? How are you not gonna talk to him? You're together, like, 24/7."

I don't think she thought I heard that question about letting her have him. "You can have him," I tell her. "And it won't be that hard. I'll just pretend, around my parents, that I'm too distracted by our love to speak. Blech."

"If you think that'll work..." Trish says.

"It will! I'll be fine," I say. It's about ten minutes before Austin walks in, dripping with sweat.

"How could you just leave me on the side of the road?" Austin asks me, stomping up to the counter. Trish stifles a giggle. "It's a hundred thousand degrees out!" I don't say a word. "Ally!" he shouts. "Say something!"

I nudge Trish. "Ally isn't speaking to you," she tells him.

"What?" Austin asks. "Why not?"

"Because you read one of her songs," Trish explains. "And she warned you that she'd never talk to you again if you read her songs. And you did it anyway."

I lean closer to Trish. "He even sang it," I whisper to her.

"You even sang it!" Trish exclaims, throwing up her hands. "You should be ashamed of yourself, Mister. You know how Ally is about her private things. And you know that she's probably dying inside right now of embarrassment!"

"It was a song about me though," Austin tells her.

"Even worse!" Trish shouts.

"How was I not supposed to read it?"

What Austin said finally registers in her mind and she looks at him blankly. "Excuse us." She looks at me. "You wrote a song about him?"

"I didn't mean to," I whisper to her.

"That is so—" I shoot her a look. "—not cute. That isn't cute at all." She looks back at Austin and jabs a finger into his chest, walking forward, making Austin walk backwards, as she speaks to him. "You don't read Ally's book." Jab. "You don't touch Ally's book." Jab. "You don't look at Ally's book." Jab. "You don't even think about Ally's book." Jab. Austin's back hits the door. "You got that?" Trish asks him.

"Got it," he says quickly.

"Good," she says. "You're sweaty."

"Thanks," Austin says, rolling his eyes. "Do I have permission to think about Ally's book one more time? I have to apologize..."

"No!" Trish screams.

Austin jumps. "Uh, okay, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and take a shower... type thing," he says, beginning to walk to the back to the bathroom. He grins as he turns to look at me. "I know how Ally doesn't like sweaty guys."

"Ugh!" I groan. I pick up the bowl of guitar picks and throw it at Austin's head. He runs to the bathroom, and the bowl misses, hitting the wall and shattering into a million tiny pieces. "I can't stand him," I tell Trish. "He read that in my diary."

I walk to the back with a broom and a dustpan. Setting the items aside for now, I start picking up the larger shards of glass. I hope he didn't read some of the diary entries. I've written a few things about him that I'd never say to his face. And I know he's going to use that against me.

Tears begin to roll down my cheeks. It takes me a minute to realize that the tears are because I'm in pain. I've been angrily squeezing the glass shards and there are a few cuts in my hands now. Austin could've read some of my deepest darkest secrets. The thought of that brings more tears to my eyes, a different kind of tears, sad tears.

I let out small crying noises. I don't like those crying noises. They make me sad. They make me want to cry more—that is, if I'm the one crying.

Just then, the bathroom door opens. Austin looks around and his eyes land on me. His blond hair looks brown at the tips from where they're drenched with water. It's stuck to his face. He isn't wearing a shirt and his entire upper half is wet too.

"Ally, are you crying?" he asks me. I ignore him and pour the large glass shards into the dustpan. He notices that they have blood on them. "Trish, what kind of friend are you? Ally's over here bleeding and crying!"

"I didn't notice!" Trish exclaims and she runs over to me. "Ally, what's wrong?" I just point to the glass and then I point to Austin. "You're bleeding because you were mad and now you're crying because Austin read your book?" I nod.

"How did you—?" Austin starts to ask, but Trish cuts him off.

"Hush," Trish says. "I think you should leave."

"But I haven't gotten the chance to say that I'm sorry!" he exclaims.

"You don't get to say sorry," Trish tells him. "Don't you get it? Ally hates you. She's never gonna talk to you again. Did you not listen to her warning?"

"I didn't think it was real!" Austin says. "I was just teasing her. I thought her songs would be pretty good, so I figured, 'What the heck?' And I read one and I found out I was right. I thought she knew that so I thought she wouldn't care." Austin turns to me. "Can I at least have a hug before I go?" he asks me.

I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest, ignoring the sting in my hands as the cuts touch the fabric. I mumble something incomprehensible to even me.

"Please?" Austin asks. "I'll leave you alone for the rest of forever. And when we get married—if we get married—I won't ever make you have sex with me."

I look at him, my mouth wide and my eyebrows knitted together in anger. Did he really think we were going to have sex if this wedding thing came through? God, he's such an idiot.

"That was the wrong thing to say," he notices. "Um, I'll give you..." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet. He counts out all of the money inside. "... fifty bucks." I look away from him. "Come on, Ally," he adds when I hesitate. "This is all I have. I'll literally give you everything I have on me if you just give me a hug." He empties out his pockets and I figure he put on some jeans he's already worn this week.

He pulls out his wallet, cinnamon-flavored gum, his watch (I'm not entirely sure why he wasn't wearing it though), his phone, a coupon (which is one punch away from getting a free ice cream!), five extra dollars, earphones, and a receipt for a video game.

"Geez, do you have Narnia in there too?" Trish asks, looking at all the things he's spread out on the grand piano.

"Not today," Austin says, sounding completely serious. "So?" He looks at me.

I look down at the many items. I grab the gum (so that he can't use it against me anymore... until he buys more...), the ice cream coupon, the five dollar bill, and the earphones. I slide the rest of the pile back to him.

"You don't want the fifty bucks?" he asks, about to put it back into his wallet. I shake my head. I shove items I grabbed into the pockets of my skirt and open my arms. Not wide, but wide enough for Austin to slip into.

And he does. Okay, so this is just gonna be a quick hug. He slides his arms around my waist, squeezes me gently, and then he's on his—I breathe in through my nose.

He did this on purpose. He knew he smelled like cinnamon. He knew it would drive me crazy. He knew. He freaking knew.

Austin starts to pull away, but I don't let him. I hold on to him more tightly, sniffing the cinnamon continuously. I wonder if this is bad for my brain cells, like other drugs. I'll have to check up on that...

"Oh, wipe that smirk off your face," Trish says to Austin. "You're not gonna grope her or anything while I'm back here!"

"That's not what I'm smirking about," Austin replies, and I hear his grin getting wider.

I close my eyes, push out as much air as I can, and step away from Austin, not breathing in until I'm a full three feet away from him. I think another foot will do it. I step back. That's better.

"So, Ally, are you sure you don't want to forgive me?" Austin asks, breathing out as much as possible.

"I'm sure," I say... in my mind. But all that actually came out was a squeak that kind of sounded like, "No." If I hadn't forgiven him, I wouldn't even have said a word to him. Duh, Ally.

"So... you forgive me," he concludes, stepping two steps closer to me.

I sigh. "Yeah, I forgive you," I mutter, turning my head away from him to breathe. "I mean, I'm sure Trish has read it before."

"What?" she says in a high-pitched voice before turning away from me.

"We're good, right?" Austin asks me.

"Yeah," I say, "we're good. Now go put your shirt back on." I had just realized that I hugged a shirtless Austin.

That fact alone was bugging me a year's worth of bugging.

He just chuckles. "All right," he says, walking back into the bathroom.

I realize Austin has two things on me while I only have one. Austin has the cinnamon scent that intoxicates me and the child eyes that make me want to cry. I have the anger that scares him. Austin—2; Ally—1.

He walks out and sniffs the air of Sonic Boom. He cocks his head to the side like a confused puppy, and raises an eyebrow.

He asks, "Is anyone else craving... strawberries?"

Sorry I haven't updated. You know how I said I was supposed to be getting internet Wednesday? Well, apparently, there's too many trees around my house for a good connection. Fml. -_- So I'll try to get a trip to McDonald's in at least once a week. But I've been writing a lot so I have three more chapters ready for you. I'll give you one more tonight... Unless you'd like two? Hm? Review and tell me if you want one or two. xD

LoVe, KeNzIe