"Boy, you got a sweet ride there." Said an old man as he walked by the Benz that Alan was putting gas into. I watched from the gas station counter while waiting for the guys to get what they needed.
"Don't touch it, don't even look at it. Go on. Get away you heard me!" Alan yelled at the elderly man. "Don't look at me either. Yeah you better walk on." He just kept yelling. The cashier was giving me weird looks as I watched him and was trying not to laugh.
"He's actually kind of funny." Phil said, making me shriek because I hadn't noticed him while he was already eating some chips. Yummy!
"Yeah. Except for when he almost got us KILLED! But I guess I can live with that." I replied as I stole a handful of Phil's chips.
"Yeah he means well." Doug shrugged.
"I will hit an old man." We heard Alan shout and all turned around to see him still yelling at the old man making us shake our heads at him.
"Is he all there, like mentally?" Phil asked Doug, while he still ate his chips.
"I think so, he's just an odd guy." He replies making Phil and I shoot him a weird look.
"He's just kind of weird." Doug covers quickly.
"I mean should we be worried?" Phil ask more clearly.
"No, no. Tracy did mention we shouldn't let him gamble or drink too much." Doug explained, while I laughed.
"If we shouldn't let him drink or gamble much then why is he coming to Vegas with us?" I wondered out loud.
"I agree with you there Chris. But jesus he's like a gremlin. He comes with instructions and shit." Phil said. "He kinda looks like one to." he added on making me laugh loudly.
"And one water." Stu said setting a water on the counter along with my red bull and starburst.
"All good with Melissa?" Doug asked.
"Oh yeah, I told her we're two hours outside of wine country and she bought it." Stu gloated. I looked to Phil cause I knew what was comin.
"Don't you think its kind of strange you've been in a relationship for three years and you still have to lie about going to Vegas and that Chris is coming with us?" Phil asked looking at Stu as if he was slow.
"Yeah I do, but trust me its not worth the fight." Stu answered back making me roll my eyes.
"Oh so you cant go to Vegas or hang out with Chris or any women but she can fuck a bellhop on a carnival cruise line?" Phil asked sarcastically, making Stu look like he was thinking hard about what to say back.
"First off Melissa has no problem with Chris of any other women that I happen to hang out with." At this I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "And I didn't tell her that Chris would be coming because she would have felt left out, with not being invited and all. And second he was a bartender and she was wasted and if you must know he didn't even cum inside her." I shivered and made a face. Phil laughed at me while replying, "And you believe that?"
"Uh yeah I do believe that because she's grossed out by seaman." Stu said officially making me go deaf from all the nastiness.
"That'll be $32.50" the cashier said looking grossed out. Phil and I looked at Stu and said together, "$32.50." and walked out the door to the car. We have been driving for a while silence when Alan started to talk about the gambling book he had been reading the whole trip.
"It says here we should work in teams. Who wants to be my spotter?" He asked excitedly.
"I don't think you should be doing too much gambling tonight Alan." Doug said before I could tell Alan that his idea sounded like fun.
"Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It's not gambling if you know your going to win. Counting cards is a fool proof system." Alan finished.
"Its also illegal." Stu spoke
"Its not illegal just frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane." I think it was the fact that Alan said all that with a straight face and didn't once look like he didn't believe what he was saying, that made me brake out laughing like an idiot.
"I'm pretty sure that's illegal to." Phil said trying not to laugh.
"Yeah maybe after 9-11 and everybody got so sensitive. Thanks a lot Bin Laden."
"Either way you have to be super smart to count cards buddy. Okay?" interjected Doug.
"Oh really?" Alan questioned.
"It's not easy." Doug and I say.
"Well maybe we should tell that to rain man because he practically bankrupt the casino and he was a ruh-tard." Alan replied. Holy hell did he say what I think he did?
"What?" Stu asked from beside me.
"He was a ruh-tard." Alan said again as I started laughing harder then I did earlier.
"Retard." I heard Doug Correct him while trying hard not to laugh along with me, like Phil and Stu had.
The sun had set by the time we pulled into the Caesar's Palace. Getting our bags from the trunk so the valet could take the car and made out way to the front counter.
"Hi welcome to Caesar's." The girl behind the counter greeted us and after receiving a greeting from us she continued. "Checking in?"
"We have a reservation under Dr. Price." Stu replied. "Okay, let me look that up for you." The clerk replied.
I knew that as soon as Stu told the lady that the reservations were under Dr. Price that Phil would have something smartassed to say to him about it.
"Dr. Price?" Phil questioned while looking over at Stu with an eyebrow raised. "Stu you're a dentist. Don't try and get fancy."
"It's not fancy if it's true." Stu said trying to impress the girl behind the desk with his fancy title.
"He's a dentist, don't get too excited and if someone has a heart attack you should call 9-1-1." Phil contradicted quickly with a smirk. "We'll be sure to do that."
"Phil why do you always have to pick on Stu? I mean damn isn't it bad enough that he's a dentist without you being so mean?" I said giggling. This is how it always is. When Phil is picking on Stu I'm on his side, then when Stu is picking on Phil I'm on Stu's side.
"Thanks Chris!" Stu said sarcastically, but I knew he wasn't really mad because he was smiling.
"Can I ask you a question? Is the hotel pager friendly?" Alan asked holding a pager. Stu and I shared a look.
"What do you mean?" She asked confused.
"I'm not getting a sig on my beeper." Alan replied.
"I'm not sure." Oh that poor girl.
"Is there a payphone bank? A bunch of payphones? Business." I tried really hard. I really did! But I couldn't hold it in any longer and broke out in hysterical laughter. "Um there's a phone in your room." She said, and Alan nodded, "That'll work."
The girl spoke. "So I have you in a two bedroom suit on floor twelve."
"Sounds perfect." Doug replied as he smiled sweetly at the girl.
"Actually I was wondering if you had any villas available?" Phil asked putting on his charm. "Phil we're not even going to be in the room." Stu tried to reason with him.
"It's not necessary." Doug and I said agreeing with Stu.
"If we share beds, I'm bunking with Phil. You good with that?" Alan spoke out. Oh lord! I thought as I was leaning on Dougie laughing.
"No, I'm not good with that. Guys we are not sharing beds. What are we twelve years old?" Phil almost yelled. Almost glaring at me the whole time because I was having a giggle fit.
Looking at the nametag, Phil spoke. "Lisa I apologize, how much is the villa?" He asked giving her a sweet smile.
"Well we have one villa available and its $4,200 for the night." Lisa said. "Is it awesome?" Alan asked. "Its pretty awesome." Lisa said.
"We'll take it. Give her you credit card." Phil told Stu.
"I cant give her my credit card." Stu told Phil looking at him.
"We'll split it." Doug said. "Are you crazy? This is on us." Phil said looking at Doug.
"You don't get it. Melissa checks my statements." Stu said looking ashamed.
"Well we just need the credit card on file. We wont charge you anything until you check out. So you can figure it out then." Good job Lisa.
"Perfect. That's perfect Lisa, thank you. And we'll deal with it tomorrow, come on." Phil said hurrying Stu along. "Fine." He said finally giving in and giving Lisa his card.
"Can I ask you another question?" Alan asked, while I replied "You just did dumb nut!"
"Sure." Lisa said.
"You probably get this a lot, this isn't the real Caesars Palace is it?" Lisa looked confused while I knew what was coming and was already in a fit of giggles leaning on Phil and Doug.
"What do you mean?" Lisa asked sweetly. "Um did Caesar live her?" Alan asked looking over his shoulder at us for backup. "Um, no." Lisa answered, hiding a smile. "I didn't think so." I could no longer stand so Phil had to pick me up and carry me cause I was laughing so hard. Holy shit! What's wrong with that dude?