Once I get home, I head straight for my room and close the door behind me. I take off my shirt as I walk to the closet and I throw it into my dirty clothes bin. It's then that I see my problem.
I have no clue what to wear. I mean, it's a party. I know. But what kind of party? I pick up my phone and call Austin.
"Hello?" he answers.
"Hey, what do I wear?" I ask.
He hesitates, and I know he's rolling his eyes. "Just wear anything. Preferably a skirt though," he says.
"Why a skirt?" I ask.
"Because they look nice," he says. "I don't know. Just wear a skirt. I'll be over in a minute." He hangs up.
Skirts look nice, I think to myself as I walk back into my closet, Skirts look nice. Oh, now which skirt do I wear? I look at my extensive collection of them.
The doorbell rings and I hear someone running to the door. "I got it!" they call. My mom. Huh, I didn't even know she was home.
About a minute later, someone opens the door to my room. I leave my closet and see Austin standing in my room.
He chuckles and folds his arms over his chest. "Now, Allyson, when I said to wear a skirt, I figured you'd have the common sense to add a shirt to your outfit," he says, looking at my torso. It takes me a moment to figure out why he said that. Then I remember that I pulled my shirt off and never put another one on.
I turn and run into my closet, tripping over nothing. "Ow," I mumble.
"It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces," Austin tells me.
"Shut up." I use my arms to drag myself the rest of the way into my closet. I grab a red blouse pull it over my head. I slide my jeans off, making sure Austin can't see me. Then I put on a red plaid skirt. I step into my brown ankle boots and walk out to show Austin. "Do I look okay?"
Austin looks me up and down once, twice, three times. Then he just nods, seemingly incapable of pronouncing words. I go into the bathroom, sliding my lip gloss wand across my lips. I apply some mascara and walk back out.
"Ready?" I ask.
"Ready," he replies.
We walk down the stairs. "Mom, I'm going to a party!" I call into the seemingly empty house. "Don't wait up!"
"Did you ask Dad if you could go?" she asks.
"Yes, he said I could!" I tell her.
"All right, have fun!" she says.
"I'm using your car, by the way!" I inform her.
"That's fine!"
Austin and I walk out to her car and Austin shows me how to get to Tommy's house. I park outside and look up at the house.
It's completely and totally trashed. People have TP'd it. There's spray-paint on the outside walls (I hope it can be washed off.) There are bras in the bushes and even a few people lying out on the front lawn, half naked.
"We're a little late, but it's not gonna end soon," he tells me. "Come on. Let's get inside."
Austin and I get out of the car. Loud music hits my ears immediately. As we walk across the yard, some guy runs out of the house, completely naked, and runs down the street. I turn away as soon as I notice he isn't wearing a bit of clothing.
"Austin, are you sure about this?" I ask, feeling a little afraid.
"I'm totally sure," he says. "It'll be fine." The volume of the music inside seems like it's enough to blow your eardrums. "Don't drink the punch," Austin advises over the loud music. "Oh, and don't eat the cookies with the green pictures on them. Everything else is fine."
"Got it," I say. "So... what do you do at a party?" I look up at him.
He looks at me as if I'm a stranger who just walked up to him and asked him to help murder some newborn puppies and kittens. "Are you kidding me?" he asks, then he smiles brightly. "You have fun!"
Suddenly, I see a flash of familiar, curly, black hair. "Trish?" I ask, as the blur almost bumps into me. It stops and stares at me. It is Trish! "What are you doing here?"
"This is a Saturday tradition for me!" she exclaims, bouncing up and down with the music. "What are you doing here?"
"Getting inspired," I mutter.
"What?" Trish asks, and I remember the loud music.
"Nothing! I—"
"Ooh, gotta go!" she shouts as some guy pulls off his shirt. She runs in his direction.
"I'm just gonna follow you," I tell Austin. I walk behind Austin as he talks to a few of his friends. Someone grabs my arm and drags me through the crowd. "Hey!" I shout.
Austin turns around. "Ally?" he calls into the crowd. "Ally!" The person who grabbed me pulls me into a room and shuts the door.
Dallas. And he's drunk, I believe.
I look around and see that we're in a small bathroom. It's dimly lit and the walls and floor have white tiles on them. The sink seems clean enough but the toilet has puke all over it and it's got a foul smell that's stinking up the whole bathroom. The music is kind of blocked out. All you can really hear is the beat.
Dallas pushes me up against the wall, breathing his disgusting, alcohol-smelling breath into my face. Honestly, I'd rather have the cinnamon (that'll make me do anything) than this right now.
"Why don't you love me?" Dallas murmurs, his head moving to the side of mine. His lips touch my neck.
"Stop it," I say, trying to shove him away, as he begins to kiss my neck now.
"Tell me why you don't love me," he demands, barely budging as I throw all of my weight against him.
"Because you're too damn clingy," I tell him.
"That isn't enough, Ally," he says slowly. He kisses from the middle of my neck to my earlobe then down my jaw.
"Dallas, stop it!" I exclaim.
"Why?" he asks. "Don't you like it when Austin does this to you?"
"Austin doesn't do this," I tell him. "All he does is kiss me. And I don't even like that."
"So you'd rather me kiss you," he says, kissing my cheek briefly then my lips.
I try to shove him away by the shoulders, but he just keeps kissing me. "Dallas, quit!" I shout into his mouth. He takes this as an opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth. My eyes widen as his touches mine and I realize that Austin's tongue is sweeter than Dallas's. I punch Dallas's face but he doesn't seem to care.
I kick him in the shins and anywhere else my legs can reach. Dallas's hands slide down over my thighs and he pulls my skirt up and tries to put his hands beneath my underwear.
"Dallas!" I say into his mouth. Once he realizes that he's too drunk to figure out how to place his hands in my underwear, he reaches up a little to the top of my underwear and rips them off. Austin bursts into the bathroom. I make random noises since I know that if I tried to speak, he wouldn't understand a word I was saying. Then I realize how this must look to him.
Dallas's hands on my lower half, his lips on mine, my underwear on the floor. In fact, Austin looks horrified at the sight before him. "I-I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't know I was... interrupting. I thought... Never mind. I'll just..." He points out the door and starts to close it. With a sudden burst of adrenaline, I shove Dallas away from me.
"Austin, no!" I shout before he can close the door all the way. He opens it back quickly and comes back in, only halfway though. "This isn't... what it looks like. Dallas and I weren't... He was just... He's drunk. I thought you said you knew me. You should know I wouldn't... you know..."
"I was hoping," Austin says, coming inside and closing the door behind him. "In that case..." I walk over and stand behind Austin as he goes forward to tower over Dallas.
"Oh, will Austin be joining us?" Dallas asks and he lets out a loud laugh.
"Dallas, if you ever touch Ally again, ever, I will come for you," Austin says slowly. "And I will kick. Your. Ass. Got it?" Dallas just laughs again. Austin holds up a fists and pretends as if he's about to punch Dallas. He flinches and runs out of the bathroom. Austin turns to me. "Are you okay?" he asks. "Did he hurt you?"
"No, I'm fine," I tell him. "But my underwear isn't." I lean down and pick them up. They were the orange pair with yellow hearts on them. "They were my favorite pair..." I frown as I toss them in the trash.
Austin rolls his eyes. "I can buy you a new pair," he says. "Now come on. Let's go home."
"Why? We just got here," I say.
"Well, I just figured you wouldn't wanna walk around with no underwear on..." he tells me.
"Uh, I'll be fine," I say. "As long as I don't have to bend over."
We walk out of the bathroom. "Can I be behind you if you do bend over?" Austin jokes. I turn around and punch him as hard as I can in the chest, unable to keep the smile off my face as I do.
"Shut up," I say. We both laugh. I stop as I notice something. I can hear the conversations of others. I mean, I could hear them before. But now I can hear them more clearly. And it's because the music has gone off. "What's going on?" I ask Austin.
"I don't know," he admits. "I'm gonna ask Tommy. If I can find him." A loud whistle sounds. Everyone shuts up and looks up. A guy is standing on top of the table. "There he is," I hear Austin says beside me.
"Okay, everybody, we're having a small problem with the stereo, but we'll get it fixed!" Tommy says into a microphone. "I'm going to try to find someone to play you some music. Anyone here in a band? Or something like that?" No one says a word. "Anyone know how to play an instrument at all? Or sing? Come on up." I feel Austin take my hand. He pulls me up toward Tommy.
"Hey, Tommy," Austin says.
"Oh, God, Austin, I'm so glad you're here," Tommy says to Austin. "I know you can play any instrument. Whatever's left, you can play. And you'll probably be the one singing too, if you don't mind." Austin shrugs, and I know he's glad to show off his skills. "If we can get a few more people to—" Three people walk up out of the crowd.
"Drums," one says simply.
"Bass guitar," another says.
"Piano," the last says.
"Austin, electric guitar good for you?" Tommy asks. Austin nods. "Awesome, I have the instruments in my room. The drums are already down here so you can go ahead and get yourself ready with them, Alex." Tommy points at something and I suppose he's pointing in the direction of the drums. The red-headed girl who said she could play the drums nods and walks toward them. "Austin, Steve, Zack, follow me and we'll get the other instruments."
Austin tries to pull me with him, but I just shake my head, telling him I'll wait down here. After they walk up the stairs, I go over to Alex and see her pulling drum sticks out of her pockets. When I said she had red hair, I meant she had red hair. Not orange, but cherry red. But there are streaks of black in her hair and the bangs that cover her forehead are half-black.
"Do you carry those everywhere with you?" I ask her.
She jumps, not knowing I was standing beside her. She nods. "Yeah," she says. "Sometimes, I get a beat in my head, and I have to drum it out so I won't forget it for later."
"That makes sense," I tell her. "So are you in a band?"
"My friends and I are trying to start one," she says. "But we can't decide on a name."
"Oh, that's cool," I say. I start to say something else, but Austin, Tommy, Steve, and Zack come back downstairs. They plug in their instruments and Zack sets the keyboard stand down, placing the keyboard on top of it.
"What song should we play?" Austin, being the lead singer/electric guitarist, asks. Everyone shrugs.
"Play Dirty Little Secret!" some drunk guy in the audience shouts.
"I guess we're playing Dirty Little Secret," Austin says, pulling the guitar's strap over his head. "You guys know the song? I mean, I know you probably know the song, but can you play it?" Everyone nods. "Good. Let's get started." Austin waves me over to him and I walk to him. "Think you can write a song now?" he asks me.
"What?" I ask. "Now?"
"Yeah," Austin says.
"Uh... uh... I—I can try," I tell him. "But I can't promise anything."
"All right, fine," he says. "Go get started."
"Okay," I say, walking away as Tommy and another boy pushes the table he was standing on out of the way along with the chairs. I grab a napkin from the kitchen and a pen and sit down in one of the chairs Tommy just got finished moving. I set to work as Alex, Austin, Steve, and Zack start to play.
Let me know that I've done wrong
When I've known this all along
I go around a time or two
Just to waste my time with you
Tell me all that you've thrown away
Find out games you don't wanna play
You are the only one that needs to know...
I'll keep you my dirty little secret
Don't tell anyone
Or you'll be just another regret
My dirty little secret
Who has to know...?
Austin glances over at me and smiles when he sees that I'm writing. I'm about halfway done when the crowd begins to cheer and Austin looks over at me again and raises his eyebrows, silently asking Are you done yet?
Almost, I mouth to him.
"Any more requests?" Austin asks the crowd. People shout out random songs, but the one that catches my attention is, "Demons!" It seems to have caught Austin's too. "Uh, Demons?" Austin asks. "Who sings that?"
"Imagine Dragons!" the same person shouts.
Austin thinks for a second before saying, "Oh, I know that song!" I don't. Austin looks at the other members of his temporary band to make sure they know it. A moment later, Zack starts playing the piano. I look back down at my napkin and continue writing.
When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold
When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood's run stale
Austin's soft singing makes me snap my head up. I don't think I've ever hear his voice that soft. Even though he isn't looking at me, I feel like he's singing straight to my heart. I feel my eyes closing and I begin to sway a little. Steve brings the bass guitar in.
I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There's nowhere we can hide
I open my eyes and see Austin staring straight at me. When our eyes lock, he smiles. I feel my cheeks heat up a bit and I look back down.
No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom, come
Alex starts using the kick drum.
This is my kingdom, come
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
The lyrics kind of make me want to cry. I force myself not to look at Austin and concentrate on the song. But I can't. I close my eyes again and sway.
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
The song suddenly slows down and it's just Zack playing again.
Curtain's call
Is the last of all
When the lights fade out
All the sinners crawl
So they dug your grave
And the masquerade
Will come calling out
At the mess you've made
I look up at Austin again and see that he's looking at me again. But this time, when our eyes lock, I'm unable to look away.
Don't wanna let you down
But I am hell bound
He's seriously making me want to cry right now. This song is a lot sadder than it seems if you listen closely.
Though this is all for you
Don't wanna hide the truth
No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom, come
This is my kingdom, come
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
I'm so into the song that I almost see something hiding behind his eyes and they darken.
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go
"Don't let me go," I whisper.
Your eyes
They shine so bright
I feel my fingers reach up to touch the skin around my eyes gingerly, wondering if my eyes really shine as bright as Austin makes them seem.
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how!
I want to show you how! I want to walk over to you and show you how to escape, Austin!
When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide...
The song ends and I clap and cheer. That was amazing. Austin points down and it takes me a minute to realize that he's asking if I finished the song.
Damn it, Ally! You can't get wrapped up in the songs Austin sings. I don't care how beautifully he sings them... And I don't care if it seems like Austin's singing... straight to your heart...
You have to finish this song.
I shake my head at Austin.
"Okay, I think we need one more request," Austin says.
Someone screams, as loud as they can, "If It Means A Lot To You!" Someone really wanted that song sang.
"That's kind of a quiet song and I don't have anyone to sing it with," Austin says. "How about another song?"
"If. It. Means. A. Lot. To. You!" the person yells. "Sing it!"
"Okay, okay," Austin says. "Alex, you want to sing it with me?" Austin looks at Alex. She shakes her head quickly. Austin looks over and gives me a small smile. I shake my head. He runs over to me. "Please?" he asks me. "Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please?"
"O-okay," I say.
"Come on," he says. He puts my napkin on the table and pulls me over to where he was standing before, in front of the microphone. Austin motions for Steve to start playing. Instead of playing the acoustic guitar for the song, they just use the bass guitar and the drums for some parts.
(Austin=Italics; Ally=Bold; Both=Both)
And hey, darling
I hope you're good tonight
And I know you don't feel right
When I'm leavin'
Yeah, I want it but no, I don't need it
Tell me somethin' sweet to get me by
'Cause I can't come back home
Till they're singin'
La
La, la, la
La, la, la
Till everyone is singin'
If you can wait till I get home
Then I swear to you
That we can make this last
If you can wait till I get home
Then I swear come tomorrow
This will all be in our past
Well, it might be for the best
And hey, sweetie
Well, I need you here tonight
And I know that you don't wanna be leavin' me
Yeah, you want it, but I can't help it
I just feel complete when you're by my side
But I know you can't come home
Till they're singin'
La
La, la, la
La, la, la
Till everyone is singin'
La
La, la, la
La, la, la
If you can wait till I get home
Then I swear to you
That we can make this last
If you can wait till I get home
Then I swear come tomorrow
This will all be in our past
Well, it might be for the best
You know you can't give me what I need
I shake my head at Austin as I sing.
And even though you mean so much to me
I can't wait through everything
Is this really happening?
Austin looks genuinely sad, as if I'm actually breaking up with him. Even if I could, I wouldn't.
Wait, what?
I mean, I could if I would.
Yeah, that's what I meant.
I swear I'll never be happy again
And don't you dare say we can just be friends
I'm not some boy that you can sway
We knew it'd happen eventually
The crowd begins to sing with Austin and I, those who know the song.
La
La, la, la
La, la, la
Now everybody's singin'
La
La, la, la
La, la, la
Now everybody's singin'
La
La, la, la
La, la, la
If you can wait till I get home
Now everybody's singin'
La
La, la, la
Then I swear we can make this last
La, la, la
Now everybody's singin'
La
La, la, la
If you can wait till I get home
La, la, la
Now everybody's singin'
La
Then I swear we can make this last
La, la, la
La, la, la
Now everybody's singin'
La...
Everyone claps and cheers and Austin and I have to rip our eyes away from each other. "Did you finish the song?" Austin asks me, looking at his feet.
"I just need to finish the ending and—"
I'm cut off by loud music. Tommy runs up to us. "Good news! The stereo's working again!" he exclaims. "You guys can start partying again! Whoo!" Tommy pulls his shirt off and runs into the crowd.
"All right then," Austin says. "I guess I can just sing it for the talent show then. So... what did you think of my singing? And my playing?"
"It was awesome," I tell him, remembering how he played Demons. "I—I really liked Demons. You just... You sang it so perfectly and... amazingly... and... beautifully." I realize that my head has drooped a little and I'm staring up at him, as if in a daze.
"Uh... yeah," he says. "I'll... be right back. I have to go put Tommy's guitar back."
"Mmkay," I murmur. Austin hurries up the stairs. I walk back over to where I put the napkin. I fold it up and put it in my pocket.
"Ally, come here," someone says in my ear, taking my forearm in their hand.
"Okay," I say immediately, recognizing Austin's voice. He leads me back to the bathroom. He closes the door behind him. I feel my cheeks burn red.
I look up into his eyes and get lost. When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide. I hear Austin say something and it's as softly as he sang the song. It's music to my ears.
"Ally!" Austin exclaims, snapping his fingers in my face. "Did you hear me?"
"Nope," I tell him truthfully.
"I asked if you drank any of the punch," he tells me.
"Um... nope," I say.
"Did you eat any of the cookies?" he asks.
"Nope."
"Did you put anything in your mouth while you were here?" Austin asks me. "Did you smell anything funny? Did you take a pill?"
"No, no, and definitely no," I say in a bit of a sing-song voice. "Well, unless you count Dallas's tongue." I let out a sound of disgust. He picks me up suddenly. "Whoa," I say. Then he sets me down on the sink.
He pushes my right eyelid up with his thumb, looking around my eyeball. Then he pushes my left eyelid up and does the same thing. He opens my mouth. "Blow," he instructs. I blow. He has a confused look on his face. "I think we need to get you home," he says. "You're acting... funny."
"I think you're the one acting funny," I tell him. I put my hands on his chest and push them up until they're on the back of his neck. "Can I tell you something?"
Austin stands up straighter and clears his throat. "Um, sure." His eyes slide closed as he waits for my reply.
"I..." I tangle my fingers in his hair and wrap my legs around his body. "I think I like you." I pull his head down toward mine and I kiss him. It's less than a moment before he kisses me back, wrapping his arms around my waist. I open my mouth, not even waiting for him to lick my lips.
Oh, yeah. His tongue is definitely sweeter than Dallas's.
I keep my eyes shut as Austin pulls away and starts kissing my neck. This reminds me of earlier when Dallas said something about Austin kissing me like this. I said he doesn't and that I wouldn't like it. Well, he does and I love it.
Wait... What am I...?
"Didn't you say something about getting me home?" I ask Austin.
He stops kissing my neck abruptly and looks at me. "Yeah, let's go," he says. "Before..." He just trails off. Austin opens the bathroom door and walks out. I slowly leave the bathroom and start for my mom's car, touching my bottom lip, the one he had bit gently before kissing my neck.
I may or may not have ONE MORE up tonight. Depends on if I finish it or not. Or would you rather I leave it for tomorrow? Or later today, if you have the same time I do. It's, like, 12:18 where I am... Anyway, another chapter or wait until later? It's up to you guys! Majority rules!
LoVe, KeNzIe
P.S. The first song was Dirty Little Secret by The All-American Rejects, the second song was Demons by Imagine Dragons, and the last song was If It Means A Lot To You by A Day To Remember.