Chapter 7
Oh my gosh my head is killing me, along with my sides. Was the only thing I could remember thinking as someone ran into me making me roll over onto Phil with Alan a few inches away from us without pants on?
Phil and I groaned as we sat up to see what the matter with Alan was, when I noticed that I only had on one of Phil's shirts and a pair of his boxers on. Alan was standing there pointing at the bathroom babbling about something. "Control yourself. God damn Alan put some pants on." Phil said when he looked over. "Phil do not go into the bathroom." Alan practically yelled.
"Alan just calm down." Phil said while holding up his hands to either block his eyes from the sun or Alan's junk. My head was killing me so I just lay back down and listened with my eyes closed. "Phil there is a tiger in the bathroom." Alan continued to yell. "Alan please be quiet, you're hurting my head." I moaned. "What's going on?" I could hear Stu from a far. "There's a jungle cat in the bathroom!" Alan yelled to Stu. Phil stood up and moved towards the bathroom telling Alan he would check it out trying to get him to shut up, all the while Alan pleading from him not to.
Phil opened the door and I could hear a roar, he closed it fast and replied laughing, "Holy fuck he's not kidding. There's a tiger in there." "No there isn't." Stu denied. "Yeah." Alan said back nodding his head as Phil turned to pick up his shirt. I held up my hands for him to help me up and when he did I grabbed on to him so I wouldn't fall back down on my ass. "You okay there babe?" Phil asked as he slipped his shirt on and helped me towards the couch. "Yeah, just really dizzy. My head is killing me." I replied as I lay down on the couch and put my head on his lap. I could hear him asking Stu if he was okay and then Stu answer but it was all a blur. Next thing I know, I hear Phil asking Alan to put on some pants.
"Pants at a time like this I don't have any." I laughed a little. I looked around the apartment to see what the damage was. "Hey Phil, is that a chicken?" I asked not sure if I was just seeing things, but when he nodded I just looked away.
"What the fuck happened last night." Phil asked looking at Stu as I sat up. Stu turned to look at us. "Hey guys am I missing a tooth?" I opened my eyes and looked at him for the first time today, and couldn't help but break out laughing when I saw he was really missing a tooth. "I can't… holy shit." Phil said starting to laugh. Stu said something but I was too busy laughing until I hear. "Okay, okay. We just need to calm down. We're fine. Everything's fine. Alan, go wake up Doug. Let's just go get some coffee, figure everything out." Phil said taking control. I sat up and put a straight face on. "What am I going to tell Melissa? I have no idea how it happened." I turned to Stu and replied, "You tell her to suck it." Phil looked at me and laughed, then turned back to Stu. "You're freaking me out man, I got a massive head ach. Let's just calm down." Stu started freaking out again. "How am I supposed to calm down? Look around you." We all looked up when Alan came into the room. "Hey guys, he's not in there."
"Did you check all the rooms?" Phil asked. "Yeah I looked everywhere, plus his matric is gone." Alan said. "Oh whatever. He probably went down to the pool to get something to eat. Let's call him." Phil dug his phone out of his pocket and dialed Doug's number putting it up to his ear waiting for an answer. "I look like a nerdy hillbilly." I heard Stu say, making me snort and Phil laugh.
We all looked over to where Alan was standing when we heard a phone ringing. Alan seeing the phone picked it up and answered it. "Hello?" Phil rolled his eyes while I tried not to laugh. "Alan." Phil said. "Hey." Alan said. "It's Phil." "Oh, hey Phil." I laughed. Alan took the phone away from his ear and looked at it. "Doug's phone. This is Doug's phone." He said turning to us. "No shit." Phil and I said at the same time. Then out of nowhere we all heard a baby start crying.
"What the fuck is that?" Stu asked. We all ran to the closet it was coming from and found a little baby in a car seat. "Whose fucking baby is that?" Phil questioned. Alan then turned to me and asked the dumbest thing, "Is it yours Chris?" I shook my head and rolled my eyes. "No Alan, that's not my fucking baby." I swear I heard Stu laugh.
"Alan, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the sweet?" Stu asked. "Yeah I checked all the rooms no one's here. Check its collar or something." Alan replies still staring at the baby. Stu bends down and starts talking to the baby. "Stu we don't have time for this. Look lets go down and see if we can find Doug, and we'll deal with the baby later." I looked at him like he had an extra head. "Phil we're not going to leave a baby in the room, there's a fucking tiger in the bathroom." Stu argued. "It's not our baby." I slapped Phil on the back of the head as Alan replied that he was siding with Stu on this one. "Shut up Phil." I said as I went and picked up the baby.
"Alright fine we'll take it with us. Could you at least go find some pants?" Phil gave in and walked away. I had the baby in my arms and went to my bedroom to get some clothes on. When I was done I walked out to see everyone dressed and Alan asking them if they had seen his satchel.
"Can I carry the baby?" Alan asked as he walked over to me with a little baby carrier thing on. I looked over to Stu and Phil to see if it was a good idea. Seeing them both shrug, I handed the baby over and we made our way to the elevator.