Chapter Nineteen: Gryffindor's New Mascot

The following Saturday after Doug's first Occlumency lesson, everyone was in the Great Hall eating breakfast when Umbridge arrived with an unpleasant look on her face. Deciding to ignore her, Harry picked up today's edition of the Daily Prophet, and saw why Umbridge looked more pleased with herself than normal.

The headline read:

New Hogwarts High Inquisitor Appointed

Harry then read article aloud.

'"A new position of High Inquisitor of Hogwarts has been created by the Ministry of Magic. The position has been filled by Dolores Umbridge, in conjunction with her other duties as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher and Senior Undersecretary to the Minister. When asked why the position had been created, the Minister of Magic said this, "Madam Umbridge has been struggling to gain the respect of students and staff as she strives to make the improvements in education the Ministry demands."

'"We then asked if the new High Inquisitor would have the authority to make the changes that are necessary. The Minister replied, "Madam Umbridge will have all the authority she needs to do what must be done, such as perform inspections of classes, and if necessary, making changes should teachers prove unsatisfactory, she will also have the authority to make new rules and regulations as she sees fit, of course all this is in order with Educational Decree Number Twenty-two."

'"Parents will be pleased that the Ministry of Magic is taking education so seriously. As Lucius Malfoy, 41, told us, "I feel more assured that Albus Dumbledore will be under closer scrutiny from the Ministry, and can only hope reform will benefit my son and his fellow students."'

Harry finished the article with a look of total disgust on his face as did the others who had had heard him read.

It was then that Umbridge got to her feet and called for attention.

'Hem, hem, I am sure you have all read this morning's edition of the Daily Prophet, and I want to assure all of you that I will do my upmost to improve the standards at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and to now inform you of a new rule I am bringing into effect immediately. All forms of public displays of affection between students are strictly prohibited throughout the school and Hogsmeade, and furthermore, boys and girls are not to be within eight inches of each other. Any students caught disobeying this rule will have their privileges revoked, and further infractions thereafter will result in suspension and expulsion from this school, thank you.'

Umbridge then walked out of the Great Hall with an ugly smile on her toad-like face.

All around the hall students were fuming. The teachers were also very angry.

'The Ministry does not have the authority to make Educational Decrees without approval from the school governors and the Wizengamot,' said Hermione, angrily.

'And that bitch does not have the authority to make a rule like that!' growled Harry, who got to his feet.

'Let's put the toad in her place once and for all!' said Ron.

The four then left the Great Hall with very angry looks on their faces.

Meanwhile, Dolores Umbridge was walking back to her office feeling better than she had in a long time. She was pleased that she now had the power to get rid of Dumbledore, the Potters, Weasleys and Longbottoms. She then began to think of other new rules she could implement, such as disbanding all the Quidditch teams – except Slytherin, of course, then making all her classes mandatory to all students, and finding a way to get Mr Filch on her side. Then she would set about recruiting trustworthy students for her own personal Inquisitorial Squad, of course trustworthy students like young Malfoy and other children from respectable pureblood families. Soon she would be in charge and would be able to slowly purge Hogwarts of unruly children, that half-breed oaf, Hagrid, the unsatisfactory and uncooperative teachers, and of course, the Mudbloods.

When she reached her office, she saw four students waiting for her.

'There you are, Dolores, we've been waiting for you,' said Harry.

Before Umbridge could speak she was taken forcibly into her own office by Ron and Ginny, while Hermione disarmed before being forced into a chair, then with a flick of Harry's wand Umbridge was bound to it by chains.

'What is the meaning of this?' screeched Umbridge.

'We're going to put you on trial, Dolores, we know that you are guilty of many crimes and feel you should be held accountable,' replied Harry.

'The only crime being committed here is by you four nasty little liars!'

'Silence!' roared Ron.

'Trial Hearing of Dolores Umbridge to begin immediately for her many crimes, Ronald Bilius Weasley-Flamel presiding,' said Ron, speaking in his usual clear voice.

'Interrogators: Harry James Potter-Black and Hermione Jean Weasley-Flamel,' said Harry.

'Watching from the peanut gallery: Ginevra Molly Potter-Black,' said Ginny, taking out a bag of sweets from her pocket.

'Enough of this nonsense!' exclaimed Umbridge, 'this is not a real trial and when I am free I will have all four of you expelled!'

'You will be silent unless spoken to or you will face further consequences, now, the charges are as follows: Abuse of Power, Bigotry, Corruption, Cuntishness, Deception, Embezzlement, Illegally and Improperly Acquiring a Teaching Post and Without the Necessary Qualifications, Incompetence and Being an Ugly Pain in the Arse,' said Ron.

Harry then approached Umbridge and began his cross-examination.

'You are Dolores Umbridge, currently employed as Minister Fudge's Senior Undersecretary?'

As much as she wanted to scream and shout at them, Umbridge realised she had to cooperate with them, at least until someone came to help her.

'Yes, I am,' she replied.

'And you are also employed as the new Defence professor, here at Hogwarts?'

'Yes, I am,' she repeated.

'How did you acquire your posting here?'

'I volunteered after the Minister made Educational Decree number twenty-two,' Umbridge replied.

Hermione then stood and said, 'Did Minister Fudge confer with the school governors and gain approval from them and the Wizengamot to make the aforementioned Educational Decree?'

Umbridge knew the answer was no, but did not wish to give it.

'I do not know,' she replied.

'Liar, liar, pants on fire!' said Ginny in a sing-song voice.

Before Umbridge could say anything in her defence, Ron said, 'It would be wise for you not to lie to us, all four of us are highly accomplished Legillimens, and more than that a spell has been put on you that should you lie to us, your nose will grow longer, but tell the truth and it'll shrink back to its normal size, now tell us the truth.'

'No, he didn't,' she said defeated.

The questions kept on coming from her qualifications and experiences or lack thereof in the area of Defence Against the Dark Arts, to the bribes both she and Fudge had taken, the embezzlements from funds for both Hogwarts and St. Mungo's Hospital that she and Fudge were guilty of, her actual blood status, which is half-blood, her bigotry towards pretty much everyone who was of no use to her, and to her latest stunt in the Great Hall.

'What do you have against courting couples, Madam Umbridge?' asked Hermione.

Umbridge declined to answer, so Hermione continued.

'Is it because you have never been in a relationship with anyone?'

'Boys only want one thing and good girls don't give it to them,' said Umbridge.

'I see, so you've never been kissed?'

'Disgusting,' said Umbridge.

Hermione sent Harry and Ginny a warning message through the friend hub before continuing.

'So you've never been snogged breathless by your soul-mate? Never had someone tell you that you are everything to that person? Never been wooed in French or Italian by your significant other? Never been swooped up in the arms of someone you love and made to feel warm, safe and loved? Never been kissed or caressed or licked all over your body by the love of your life? Never been given an orgasm so powerful that you pass out after shrieking your soul-mate's name? Never been fucked so hard and for so long that you have difficulty walking in a straight line the next day? Never had days where you spend the entire day naked in bed making love with the love of your life? Never been caught unaware by your lover who bends you over the nearest surface and fucks your brains out from behind, before carrying you to either the bedroom or the bathroom to share a lovely, romantic bath? Never –'

'Enough!' screamed Umbridge, cutting across Hermione's taunting line of questioning.

Hermione then sauntered over to Ron and sat on his lap and posed one last question to Umbridge.

'Have you never sat on the lap of the one person who makes you believe that you can do anything that you set your mind to and just kissed him like this?'

Hermione and Ron shared a deep, loving kiss that Umbridge was forced to watch as a lone tear left her eye.

Harry then cleared his throat loudly to get Hermione and Ron to stop.

'Madam Umbridge, do you have anything else to say that may help your defence?' asked Harry.

Knowing there was nothing she could say that would not be a lie, Umbridge shook her head.

'Very well, the prosecution rests,' said Harry, who sat next to Ginny and pulled her on to his lap, before Ron, who still had Hermione sitting on his lap spoke once more.

'Due to your confessions, Madam Umbridge, our court finds you guilty of all charges, and the sentence that shall be passed upon you is that the punishment fit the crime. You are an ugly toad, and therefore that is something you shall forever be!'

Ron then took out his wand and pointed it at Umbridge, then with a casual flick and flash of light, Umbridge vanished only to be replaced by a large, fat toad sitting on the chair in her place.

Harry then looked over at Ron and asked, 'Did you use the version where the only way she can be transformed back is if you do it with your wand, and making her indistinguishable from real toads?'

'Yep,' said Ron, popping the 'p'.

'Cool,' said Harry.

Hermione then slid off of Ron's lap and conjured a tank for the Umbridge-toad before levitating it inside before replacing the lid.

'What are you going to do with it?' asked Ginny.

'Donate it to Gryffindor as a new mascot in honour of favourite teacher,' said Hermione.

'Telling everyone that we found it and named it Dolores,' said Ron, who had gotten to his feet and then picked up the tank.

Harry and Ginny both burst out laughing before Hermione said, 'Shall we?'

'Er, no, you go on ahead, we'll catch you up,' said Ginny.

'What?' exclaimed Hermione, 'in here, really?'

Harry and Ginny just shared a look, which made Ron roll his eyes and murmur, 'Bloody hell, I don't want to fucking know,' before saying to Hermione, 'C'mon, love.'

Ron and Hermione left leaving Harry and Ginny alone in Umbridge's office.

'Were they really creeped out by us wanting to do it over the toad's desk?' Ginny asked.

'Apparently,' said Harry shrugging.

With that, Harry bent Ginny over Umbridge's desk, lifted her skirt, pulled down her knickers, before taking down his trousers and boxers together and proceeded to fuck her senseless with neither of them knowing that Ron and Hermione had already done it over Snape's desk.