Disclaimer- I don't own Death Note

~A/N~ Hi... It's been awhile hasn't it? Well, sorry about that, I just couldn't seem to get my thoughts straight about where I wanted this story to go. I knew how I wanted to finish it, but I just couldn't seem to get there... Sooo I sort of just made stuff up. I time skipped a lot and paraphrased what happened in the few years that are lost.. It's not the best chapter ever, but I figured that since it's been almost a year since I've updated that it was better than nothing. I'm going to try and finish this up real soon too. I think it's about time. Sorry that it's lacking, but I'm really ready to just be done with this story...

Chapter

Moving Forward

November 17, 2008

"You are never touching me again! Ever!" Noriko screeched, her face red as beads of sweat rolled down her face and dropped onto her white and blue hospital gown.

L cringed from where he was crouched on a chair beside her, holding her hand. Actually she was holding his in a tight grip that he was afraid might break his fingers, it was one of the reasons why he hadn't tried to sneak out of the little room with the nurses and doctors working leisurely as if this was the most normal thing in the world. While it was natural, it seemed far from normal to him, but he wasn't a doctor and this was normal for them. He winced as Noriko cried out in pain, her head pushing back into the stack of pillows behind her.

"You're doing great, Noriko, just keep breathing and get ready to push," the doctor in his blue scrubs coached calmly.

L bit on his thumb, making the skin raw as he stared at Noriko's rounded belly. It was the least scary thing to look at in the room in his opinion.

"Ok, Noriko," the doctor spoke up. "Push."

Noriko did as she was instructed, her eyes clenching tightly shut and her teeth grinding together before she let out a pained groan like cry. L didn't know what he should be doing and settled for staying crouched in the chair and biting his thumb.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, holding Noriko's hand and staring at anything except for the doctor and the nurses as they worked, but when Noriko collapsed on to the bed and a baby's cry fillde the room he blinked himself back to reality. He stared at the small child in the nurse's arms as she carried it carefully to a waiting table where she gently wiped the baby clean before wrapping her in a little pink blanket.

"A girl," he muttered to himself, his eyes on the small jostling bundle in the nurse's arms as she brought the bundle to Noriko.

Noriko hummed tiredly and smiled blearily at the little bundle as she took their baby girl into her arms. "She's beautiful," she said, kissing the child's head and running a finger over her tiny hand.

L blinked at the little girl. Child birth was really quite frightening to witness, but the results amazed him. Unfolding himself from his chair, he hunched over Noriko to get a closer look at his daughter. The little girl reached a tiny hand for him and weakly tugged at his unruly hair. She was so small and fragile looking that he was afraid to touch her, but that didn't stop him from letting her take one of his fingers in her hand. He ran his thumb over the small knuckles and found it hard to believe that such a tiny little thing had been given life by he and Noriko.

"Sit down next to me so you can hold your daughter," Noriko told him.

He sunk don't next to her without a word and let her delicately place the bundle that was their child in his arms. He could only stare at her in amazement while Noriko leaned into him with a content smile.

Leaning against L, Noriko let her fingertips caress the short, soft black hair on top of her daughter's head. "Saki. I think she's a Saki."

October 8, 2009

"Matt and Mello have just kidnapped the director of the NPA."

Noriko stopped rocking herself and Saki in the rocking chair she had had placed in nursery and looked up at L with wide eyes. "What?"

"Near has no proof that it was them, but it's something that Mello would do. He believes they've finally started to act."

Standing up with her sleeping daughter in her arms, Noriko carefully placed the little girl into her crib before following L out of the room. A young woman with blond hair pulled into a neat ponytail was walking down the hall towards them, Noriko smiled at her. "I've just laid her down, she was asleep. I'll check in on her in a little while."

"Of course, Ms. Noriko," the young woman replied, smiling and nodding her understanding.

"Thank you." The young woman had been hired to help Noriko care for the little girl they had named Saki since it was rather overwhelming for her to do on her own and she still occasionally helped with cases. Hurrying after L, Noriko followed him into what she called his office since it was where he worked. High tech computer monitors lined one wall and two chairs sat beneath a built in desk top just below them. Making sure the door was closed before she spoke, Noriko finally asked, "What's going on? Matt and Mello kidnapped the director of the NPA? Why?"

"Probably because they're trying to get the Death Note that's still in Mr. Yagami's possession," he answered, sitting in one of the chairs and bringing his feet up so he could assume his usual crouched position. Spinning himself towards the monitors, he typed something quickly on a keyboard and the monitor in front of him lit up.

"They know that Mr. Yagami has it though, why kidnap the director? It doesn't make mush sense," Noriko said, taking a seat herself.

L shrugged a shoulder noncommittally. "It's possible it's not even them. It's also possible that Mello is just trying to get a reaction from the current task force that's headed by Light who is posing as me."

"He knows Near is working on the case now too. From what you've told me about how well they got along I'm going to go out on a limb here and say he's trying to find a way to beat Near and solve the case first."

"It's likely," L agreed.

Noriko sighed and relaxed into her seat. "Well, despite the circumstances it would be nice to know that Mello and Matt are alright. I may not have known them long, but they seemed like good enough kids. Do we know where they are?"

Shaking his head, L absently nibbled on his thumb. "No," he mumbled over the digit.

"They're playing a very dangerous game. The director is nothing to Light, he's not an important player in the game he's playing as Kira. Mello won't get the Death Note by threatening him. He'd have been better off kidnapping someone Light would never kill and there are few of those people left," she said with a forlorn shake of her own head. "The director will be dead within the next few days if he's not already."

"I agree. There are plenty of people to take his place and several of those would be beneficial to Light seeing as how he's acting as L and Kira at the same time. He needs someone who won't suspect him and continue to let him work on the case despite the fact they've gotten no results."

Noriko sat silently in her seat for a few moments, staring at her the man she had married almost three years before. He hadn't changed much, he still wore the same baggy jeans and white shirts. His hair was still as unruly as always and his skin just as pale as when she had first met him. The only thing that had really noticeably changed were the shadows beneath his eyes. They had faded away almost entirely, they made reappearances now and then when he was working a particularly grueling case, but otherwise she had rarely seen them.

Even she hadn't changed much. Child birth had made her a little more plump than she had been in years, but most of the weight had disappeared in the year since she had had Saki. She was a bit taller, her hair was shorter than it had ever been in the past with short layers in the back and longer ones in the front to frame her face. She was in better shape than she had been when she had left Japan, her muscles were toned and lean, a result of not only working out, but getting instruction in many different fighting styles. She also knew how to handle a gun now, quite well in fact. Learning to fight and protect herself had been something L had been very insistent she do. Especially since she was too stubborn to let anyone else look out for her and she had a bad habit of trying to do things all on her own.

She supposed she couldn't really blame him for worrying about her, he loved her and she had tried to escape his clutches when he had kept her under lock and key in the manor they had lived in when first coming to England. The inability to do anything to stop Light and being forced to stay uninvolved had taken a toll on her and she had found it hard to not blame herself for what he was doing and what she had been unable to stop.

Deciding to take things into her own hands she had spent days watching the guards and learning their routines. She also poked around the manor to see what she could use to aid her in her escape. She had stumbled upon new identification cards and a credit card with her picture on them. They had left her first name alone and had only changed her last name from Mori to Hanimura.

She had managed to make it to the airport, but by the time she got there L and Watari had of course already figured out she was gone and were waiting for her outside of the terminal, L inside a sleek black car. It was late at night and the airport was still bustling with people coming and going, but she had seen the two men before the taxi she had hailed even stopped. She thought about telling him to just keep going, but she didn't. When the car had stopped, she had stepped out and pulled the backpack she had brought with her onto her back. She had every intention of ignoring Watari who smiled at her as she glanced at him, but she barely made it five feet before four men circled her and blocked her from going anywhere.

She had gotten into the car with L willingly enough, but had refused to speak to him throughout the entire time they were in the car. When they had reached the manor once again, she had gotten out and stalked back to her room. After throwing her bag into the corner and collapsing onto her bed, she had had no desire to see or speak to L or anyone else for that matter. She had stayed in her bed for the rest of the night and didn't leave her room until the following night when she had ventured out for some tea because she was having a hard time sleeping. All she could think about was the look in L's eyes when she had gotten into the car, he had looked relieved and a bit sad all at the same time. He had also tried to say something to her when she had left the car in a rush, but she hadn't listened though she thought she heard him sigh and whisper that he loved her and was sorry.

Her mind wouldn't quiet down. It was as if there were hundreds of voices in her head all talking at once. It made sleep impossible, so she settled for staring up at the ceiling while she tried to sort through all of the voices and their conflicting opinions and advice.

It was exhausting trying to figure out how she felt. She cared about L, but did she love him? She had loved Light, did she still? And Kira, did she really have the heart to expose Light and to see that he paid for his crimes? They had grown up together, shared their first kiss together, could she live with herself if she helped sentence him to death? Would she ever be able to face his family? His mother, his father and his sister that had all loved her as if she were a part of their family, could she do that to them? What about L? Would he understand the dilemma she found herself in? Would he still love her if she betrayed her childhood friend, her first love? She wasn't sure even she would be able to look at herself again, she would understand if he couldn't either.

With a tired huff, she pulled a pillow over her face in hopes that she could smother her thoughts or at least quiet them enough so that she could sleep. After only a few minutes, however, it became too difficult to breathe under the pillow and she threw it off of herself with an annoyed grunt. A glance at her clock told her it was almost 3am.

Knowing that sleep was unlikely, she tossed her covers off and got out of bed. Sliding her feet into a pair of soft black slippers, she shuffled out of her room. Her feet took her to the kitchen where she made herself a pot of green tea that she nearly spilled all over herself when L slouched unexpectedly through the door as she was lifting the kettle off the stove.

L lifted a brow at her look of surprise, but didn't say anything as he wandered over to take a seat at a little round table with two chairs. Noriko joined him a moment later, setting a cup of steaming tea in front of him as well as a spoon and a bowl of sugar cubes she had found in the cupboard.

She took a seat in the other chair at the table and sipped at her tea. She watched L drop sugar cube after sugar cube into his tea and shook her head at him. "I still don't understand how you can consume as much sugar and sweets as you do and you're skinny as a rail."

"I burn a lot of calories thinking," he replied, dropping a sugar cube onto his tongue and biting into it.

Noriko snorted. "By your logic I should be as thin as paper considering that my head won't shut up," she grumbled.

Silence fell again, Noriko sipped absently at her tea while staring at the table top and L stared at her. Her eyes were bloodshot and she had bags forming under her eyes. It was obvious she hadn't been able to sleep and that she was exhausted.

"Am I any different from Light?" She asked softly, her eyes still staring blankly at the table top. "I mean... He's responsible for so much death and I... I haven't done anything to stop him. I'm allowing him to keep killing people and doing nothing." Tears leaked unnoticed from her eyes, leaving shiny trails on her cheeks to mark their paths. "I don't know what to do or even where to start. I want to stop what he's doing and I want him to atone for everything he's done, but... I know what that means and it makes me feel like I'm betraying him... His family... I feel every bit like the murderer he is, I-" She sucked in a breath when L stood suddenly, his chair scraping against the floor. She looked up at the dark eyed detective as he slouched over her.

His face hovered a few inches above Noriko's and he frowned at the tears spilling from her eyes. Letting his forehead lightly collide with Noriko's he looked into her green eyes and tried to think of something to say. He didn't think she was anything like Light, he didn't think she was a murderer and he certainly didn't think she was betraying anyone. She was doing what was right. How to put that into words that didn't sound falsely reassuring was beyond him. "So am I murderer, too? And Watari, is he?"

Noriko was taken aback by the suggestion and she shook her head. "No, of course n-"

"But we've been unable to stop Light and he's still able to kill people because of our inability to catch him. What you just said would imply that we're murderers too. As for his family... We'll try to spare them as much of the truth as we can. They shouldn't have to suffer for his mistakes. If all goes well we may be able to apprehend him in secret and handle everything secretly."

"That's nice, but I would still know that I took Light from them-"

"Light has taken many people away from their families," L pointed out.

"I am not Light!" Noriko shouted, looking away with her jaw clenched after her emotional outburst.

"Exactly. You are not Light and you are not like him. You're idea of justice and his are not the same, you are doing what is right while he is acting as if he's a god and judging those he has no right to judge. You are not betraying him or his family by trying to stop him and seeing that he pays for his crimes."

"People are dying because I can't stop him. So many people have lost their lives and I can't do anything. I can't protect them, I can't protect anyone!"

"You protected me," L reminded her evenly. "And Watari. You also protected the Yotsuba group. That's-"

"That's nothing compared to the number of people Light is responsible for murdering while I sit around here and do nothing but look out of a window or complain about how helpless I am. I may not have killed them myself, but it feels like it's my fault just the same."

"Is that why you tried to leave? To stop him?"

She looked away, the answer was obvious enough in her opinion.

"You're an idiot."

Noriko blinked up at L uncertainly. "What?"

"If you truly believe you're at fault for the deaths of the people Light has killed, you're an idiot."

She bristled angrily. "I am not an idiot. I'm-"

"An idiot."

"No-"

"Yes. What would you have done when you got to Japan? Gone straight to Light and demand he stop what he's doing? It wouldn't have worked. It would just make faking your death mean nothing because you would have walked right back to the person you were trying to escape. He wouldn't let you leave again and you know it. You wouldn't have been able to stop him. You would have just sacrificed your own life just to try something that was bound to fail."

"And how do you know?" Noriko cried, tears still leaking from her eyes. She paused to brush them angrily away and the pause allowed L to speak again.

"Genius, remember?" L pointed up at his face with a pale finger to emphasis his point.

"More like an ass," Noriko snapped, standing up from her seat. "I'm going back to bed." She was walking to the door when arms wrapped around her from behind and froze her in place. Her eyes widened and she sucked in a shaky breath. L's arms were warm, comforting and she found herself leaning into his chest and grasping onto him to steady herself. "I know it must sound stupid, but it's so hard to not be doing something to stop Light. At the same time though, it's hard to work towards stopping him because I'm afraid of what will happen to him then. We grew up together.. We've been best friends forever and I feel like I'm going to be responsible for his death because I don't see him giving up willingly and I don't see the world's governments wanting to let him live. It makes it hard to look at myself, knowing I'm going to destroy someone I cared about, someone I loved... But he's destroying lives, he's tearing families apart and making people afraid to even tell a lie because they're afraid Kira will kill them."

"Nori-san is not alone. You have me."

She nodded, wiping tears from her eyes and turning around to hug L and bury her head in his neck. "You won't leave again?" Being in his arms was nice, secure. She realized how much she had really missed him when she had thought he was dead and she realized that the thought of him not being there with her made her heart ache.

"Will you?"

She thought for a moment before shaking her head. "No... But you can't keep me locked up like this L, I'm going to go crazy. I need to do something, I need to know that this will end."

"We're not working on the Kira case."

"What? But-"

"Neither one of us can objectively look at the case any longer."

That had been the beginning for them. Their lives had changed after that and while it was difficult for Noriko to try and make a new life for herself while Light was still destroying so many others, she managed to begin moving on. She had begun to help out at the orphanage that L, Matt and Mello had all grown up at and had enjoyed spending time with the children there that were all so incredible in their own ways.

It was the Halloween of that year, 2006, also L's birthday that she had finally agreed to marry L. They were attending a party for the orphanage's residents that Noriko had helped to organize, Noriko had actually dragged him with her to the event. She spent the evening playing games with the kids, dancing, laughing and just enjoying life again for one of the first times in a long time. At the end of the night a large white frosted cake was brought out and the happy birthday song sung to L, who was by now looking rather pouty about having to remain in the presence of so many people. His face had brightened when he had seen the cake and Noriko was almost certain he had begun to drool, but that could have just been her imagination.

It was a simple vanilla cake that she and several of the young kids had baked together that morning. L had blown out the candles and was impatiently waiting for a piece of the cake that Noriko was cutting. When she handed him a piece of the cake, she had also given him a quick kiss on the cheek while wishing him a happy birthday. Some of the kids had giggled, but she shot them fake glares and they quieted while she handed out cake to everyone. The final piece she took for herself after making sure that everyone who wanted cake had gotten some.

L was by now hunched up in a chair and had finished his cake and was looking rather pathetically at his empty plate. With a sigh, she had held her piece out to him. He had looked at the cake and then up at her.

"It's alright, it's your birthday after all so take it."

"Nori-san?" He had drawled.

"What?"

"Will you marry me now?"

She had blinked at him in surprise and when she noticed that the room had gone silent and several bright pairs of eyes were on her she had felt her cheeks burn. "Um..."

"Ms. Nori, you should say yes!" A young girl declared, she was six years old with bright blue eyes and beautiful golden hair. She was quite attached to Noriko who had been the first person to get the young girl to speak and smile after weeks of prodding. She ran up to Noriko, little hands clasping one of hers and tugging on it with a grin. "You are gonna say yes, right?"

"Um..."

"Say yes, Ms. Nori!" Another child shouted.

The shout was followed by cheers and urges to say yes to the proposal.

Looking back down at L, Noriko stared into his eyes for a few seconds before shaking her head. A grin broke out onto her face and she laughed, her white angel wings she had worn bouncing on her back. "Well, I guess I have no choice. Yes, I will marry you, but first..." She trailed off and smirked wickedly before shoving her cake into L's face with a satisfying squishing sound. When the paper plate fell to the floor followed by a few globs of cakes, Noriko smirked at L's surprised face and leaned down so only he would be able to hear her. "You are in so much trouble for this."

"But you'll still marry me?"

"Oh, I'll marry you, but keep in mind that that means you are stuck with me for the rest of your life. All of it."

"Isn't that the point?" L grumbled, gathering some of the frosting from his face with a finger and popping the finger in his mouth.

Noriko grinned. "Yes, but I think you forget how annoying I can be."

"Mm. No, I haven't forgotten. I'm well aware that you are incredibly annoying."

"Then why marry me?"

"Because I love you for some reason."

She tweaked a brow. "I know the feeling. I still have no idea how I fell in love with you, or when, but I did because marrying you sounds like a great idea and makes me happy."

"Does that mean you'll bake me a cake since the last piece ended up on my face?"

"Maybe, or maybe I'll start learning how to cook nice, healthy meals so I can be sure my dear husband to be is well feed."

"I'd rather you learned how to make cake," L grumbled, grimacing at the idea of eating healthy.

Noriko sighed and shook her head to bring herself back to the present. "I know you've been overseeing the case, but this is the first time in a long time you felt the need to include me. Why is that?"

L fidgeted in his seat, but didn't look at her which made her frown at his back. "You're having the dreams again, aren't you?"

Her jaw clenched and her teeth ground together, she forced herself to relax and swallowed. "Yeah, I've been having dreams again."

"Do you remember them?"

She sighed and sunk into her chair. "No. It's like when this whole Kira business started. I can't remember the dreams at all. Why?"

"The other night you were dreaming and you called out Mello's name. You were crying."

Cringing at the idea of what that could have meant, Noriko closed her eyes. "You're worried he's going to get found out?"

"I'm worried that despite how smart he is, he'll let his emotions control him and will do something rash."

"What do you want me to do?" Noriko asked, she knew he wouldn't have involved her if he wasn't worried something was going to happen that she could help prevent.

Her powers had been all but useless to her since her faked death almost actually killed her, but she could still sense that she could use her abilities as a Protector to help others, she had told L this, but she had also told him that she had a feeling they would be more effective if she was closer to whomever it was she was trying to help. Her reasoning had come from how she could sense the Death Notes and their power. When in Japan and the notebook had been close, she had sensed it clear as day, but now being in England it felt like the notebook was buried beneath a ton of sand. Often times the feeling was so small that she forgot the notebooks even existed. It made her believe that in order for her to stop the power in the notebooks from doing as it was instructed she had to be either near the notebook itself or the person who was being targeted.

"... Nothing."

Frowning, she nodded and stood up. Walking to him, she kissed the top of his head and squeezed his shoulders. "I'm going to go check on Saki before going to Wammy's, I'm supposed to help decorate for Halloween tonight while the kids are asleep." Walking to the door, she paused and looked back over her shoulder at L, he looked tense and for the first time in a long time she felt the need to be a part of bringing the reign of Kira to an end. She chose not to voice that thought out loud though and settled for smiling wanly at her husband's back before leaving the room.

October 17, 2009

"He what?" Noriko shouted, nearly falling out of her chair in her surprise. "Why didn't you tell me?"

L grimaced at Noriko's raised voice. "I didn't tell you because I knew you would be upset."

Noriko scoffed. "Of course I'd be upset! He kidnapped Sayu for crying out loud! She had nothing to do with any of this, she shouldn't have been involved." She released a heavy sigh and shook her head while rubbing at her temples. "So Mello has one of the Death Note's now? What does he plan on doing with it?"

".. Near's team has been almost entirely wiped out. Only a few of the agents remain."

"He... He killed the SPK members? He wants to beat Near so badly that he would murder innocent people?"

"It appears that way," L answered.

"I want to go to America," Noriko said suddenly.

"No," L countered immediately. "You're not-"

"Near needs help and with the way Mello is acting he needs some sense smacked into him and I'd be happy to be the one to do the smacking. Not to mention that Light probably feels humiliated and wants revenge, given his position in the task force I'm willing to bet they try to recover the notebook. If Matt or Mello are seen they're done for and you know it. I can stop that from happening. Besides, L, they may be good, but they're not you and they aren't Light. They, Matt, Mello and even Near, won't be able to beat them without some help. I know you're overseeing everything with Near, but-"

"You're not going. It's too dangerous," L cut in.

"So will you go?" Noriko asked harshly. "It's more dangerous for you to get directly involved than it is for me. We may both be dead in the eyes of everyone in Japan, but you can still be effected by the Death Notes while I cannot. Not only that you can't stop the Death Notes from working on their targets, I can."

"What about Saki?"

"Don't even start with that. I love Saki and I wouldn't leave her if I didn't think it was absolutely necessary and you know it. You and Saki are my life, but I refuse to sit around and watch people die if I know I could have helped them. I'm going," she insisted.

"..I'm not going to be able to change your mind, am I?" L inquired dejectedly.

"No. I'm assuming you can have Watari make all of the arrangements while I go make sure that Elizabeth will be able to stay with Saki until I get back?"

"Yes," L replied morosely.

"I'll be fine," Noriko assured him softly, scooting her chair closer to his. Turning him to face her, she took his face in her hands and kissed him gently. "I wouldn't get involved if I didn't think it was important. Besides if the task force is now aware of Wammy's House and the fact that Near and Mello were to be your successors, I'm going to assume that it's no longer safe for me to help out there. Someone will be coming to visit the place trying to get information on them and I can't be seen there. I'll go help out Near and then come home. I've got this feeling that I need to go and that everything will be over soon."

"I hope you're right."

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