AN: This wasn't my initial idea for the cause of Jesse's divorce, but a reader suggested something else and it caused me to think of an entirely different scenario that works so much better.
Hiram, Amy, and Judith eventually decided it was best if Leroy stayed in California with Nathan while they went on the search for Rachel and Noah.
Judy and Hiram were all for him coming along, but Amy put her foot down, refusing to drag a four-year-old on a boat trip that could potentially last months.
"Nathan needs stability," she said. "He needs to be in his own house and sleep in his own bed at night instead of being stuck on a rocking boat for months on end. Besides, I don't want to get his hopes up, just in case we're wrong and they're not out there waiting to be rescued."
Leroy offered to stay behind with Nathan. He got sea-sick easily and didn't look forward to spending three months on a boat puking. He'd keep them updated from Rachel and Noah's house instead. He clearly got the better job in Hiram's opinion.
Amy took a leave of absence from school. Both her mother and the Berry's tried to convince her she should go back, but Amy knew she'd have a mental breakdown if she did. She needed to be doing whatever she could to find her brother, and staying at school was not going to accomplish that. She'd go back and finish her degree as soon as Noah was found, but she needed a break for now.
Amy didn't bring much with her—jeans and tee shirts mainly. She was anticipating spending the next few months in dirty clothes with grimy hair, but it would be worth it if they found Rachel and Noah alive.
Two hours after making the initial call, Hiram drove Amy and her mother to the port in Los Angeles where they were meeting the boat captain. He'd suggested they wait a few days, but Judith wasn't having any of that. She wanted to start the search as soon as possible. Time was of the essence—who knew how long Noah and Rachel were going to last this time?
Amy got out of the car, staring at the boat they were going to be living on for God knew how long. It reminded her of the house boat she'd spent a summer on as a senior in high school with her boyfriend at the time. His family used to go to Lake Tahoe for the summer and live in a boat every summer, so he'd invited Amy to come with them after they'd been together for a year.
It had been the most miserable experience of her life. She'd spent the whole summer nauseous or throwing up from the rocking. The relationship ended two weeks after she'd gotten off the boat.
But she was willing to do this for her brother. Noah was everything to Amy. Amy and Noah's dad had walked out on them early on, so it had just been them and their mother. Judith could be hard to handle at times, so Noah had been everything to Amy.
And Rachel too. Rachel was the sister Amy never had. She spoke to her brother's wife every other day, making sure things were okay. Lately, however, Amy noticed Rachel's voice had changed in their conversations. She knew Rachel and Noah were having problems—they were fighting and growing apart. She hoped they'd power through it, but she had a feeling divorce was coming.
Though maybe this was what they needed. Time away from everything. Time to fall back in love.
As Amy boarded the boat, her stomach already churning, she was comforted by the fact that wherever Rachel and Noah were, they were together.
xxxxx
Puck sat on the beach for almost an hour after Rachel slapped him, his hand running over his cheek. He'd expected her to react a hundred different ways to the kiss, but her slapping him had not been one of the responses he'd expected.
It was like she'd been two different people then. First she kissed him back, then she slapped after she seemed to be enjoying it.
Puck felt like he was in shock. He'd never been slapped for giving a girl a kiss, but he supposed there was a first time for everything.
He started worrying when Rachel didn't return. He knew she needed her space, but they were on a strange island with unknown horrors awaiting them. Hell, for all he knew they could be on the island from Lost with a giant monster made of black smoke waiting to kill them.
If Rachel had just walked down the beach, he wouldn't have worried. The fact that she disappeared into the jungle without any shoes caused him concern. He didn't want to go exploring the jungle when it was starting to get dark out, but he knew if he didn't Rachel would get lost trying to find her way back to their camp.
And even if she had slapped him, she was still his wife and the mother of his child.
So Noah begrudgingly got up and headed into the jungle instead of trying to make a fire or catch some fish for them to eat. He wanted to make sure Rachel was alive and safe before he did anything else. He'd never forgive himself if he left her alone in the jungle and something happened to her. Her fathers would never forgive him, either.
Puck had no idea where to even start looking. This wasn't the old island. It was a completely new island. He'd be lucky if he didn't end up lost himself. He would have called out to her if he knew what was in there. The fact was he didn't, and he didn't feel comfortable announcing his position for whatever hungry animal was living in the jungle.
Instead, Puck quietly made his way through the jungle, moving as quickly as he could. The sun was beginning to set, and once he lost his light, he'd be screwed. He probably wouldn't make it through the night if he was stuck in the jungle in the dark.
Lucky for him, Rachel wasn't very far in. He found her sitting on a tree stump about a quarter mile from the beach. Her head was in her hands—she didn't even notice him. Puck couldn't tell if she was crying or merely sleeping.
"Rach," he said hesitantly, placing a cautious hand on her shoulder to let her know he was there. "We need to head back to the beach. It's getting dark and I haven't even made us a fire."
"Leave me alone, Noah," she muttered, pulling her shoulder away from his touch.
"Look, you can carry on this whole bipolar attitude and keep hating my guts when we get back to the beach, but I'm not leaving you in here alone when it's getting dark out. We don't know what's in here and I'd rather not find out at night. Besides, you have to be hungry."
That caused Rachel to look up. "Did you find food?" she asked.
Puck shook his head. "No, but I was going to catch some fish for us to eat. And as soon as we get a fire going, we can cook it so you're not eating raw fish." After they left the island the first time, Rachel had essentially stopped being a vegan. She still didn't eat all that often, but he knew she'd eat the fish if it was the only thing they had.
Puck held out a hand to Rachel. "Come on. I made a promise to you last time that I'd take care of you, and I'm promising you the same thing now. I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Rachel. I'll keep you safe. You just have to trust me."
Rachel bit her lip before taking Noah's hand. He pulled her to her feet and the two of them made their way back to the beach, the sun setting by the time they made it back to the sand.
Puck turned to Rachel once they were there. "Okay, you can either make the fire or spear some fish. I don't have enough time to do both."
Rachel stared at him blankly as if he were speaking a foreign language. "What?"
"Rach, it's going to be dark soon. If you want to eat today, we need to catch some fish before we can't see. We also need to make a fire, both for us to use and to signal any planes that pass overhead." He picked up one of the broken branches from the sand, the tip now a spike. "You try and catch some fish for us," he said, making the decision for her.
"I thought you were giving me a choice," she said sarcastically, taking the spear.
"I was, but you didn't give me an answer so I chose for you. Go," he said, giving her a small shove towards the water.
Rachel shot him a glare, though she did as she was told. Luckily, she'd speared fish before when they were stranded the first time. She hadn't done it since then, but she supposed it was kind of like riding a bike.
Rachel rolled her jeans up a little before wading calf-deep into the water. She glanced around, though it was becoming hard to see without the sun shining above her.
She spotted a school of fish. They weren't very big, but they'd do for a first meal. Focusing, she concentrated on one fish before thrusting the spear into the water. She felt the small vibration that meant she'd speared the fish. Rachel pulled the branch out of the water, grinning as she saw the dead fish on the end. She wasn't one who relished in killing animals, but it meant she was eating tonight.
Rachel repeated the action a few more times before heading back onto the beach, four dead fish skewered onto the end of the spear.
She found Noah on the beach with a small fire. He was adding beach grass to it, trying to make it larger. She walked over to him, dropping the spear at his feet. "I come bearing dinner," she laughed, feeling better knowing she'd have food in her stomach shortly.
Puck grinned as he saw the dead fish on the ground. "Perfect!" he laughed. "Help me build this fire up so I can cook these fish for us to eat."
Rachel walked around the beach and at the edge of the jungle, collecting small branches they could add to the fire. After twenty minutes, the fire was relatively large—large enough for them to cook the food and keep warm, at least.
Puck dragged a few large rocks out of the jungle and set them around the fire as seats. He'd find better seating tomorrow, but this would have to do for now, even if they were uncomfortable to sit on.
Rachel took a seat on one of the rocks as Puck cooked the fish, doing his best not to burn them. Even when he had spices and an actual over, Puck wasn't the greatest cook. He just hoped the fish wasn't so bad it made Rachel throw up.
He put two of the fish on a thin, flat rock, handing them to Rachel. She stared down at the fish, a funny look on her face. They didn't look very appetizing, but food was food and she was hungry.
Without a moment of hesitation, Rachel picked one of the fish up with her bare hands and bit into it. She wanted to throw it right up—they fish tasted terrible. But her stomach was growling so she swallowed it before taking another bite.
Puck watched her with a newfound appreciation for her. Rachel was always so proper at home and complained about everything. Yet here she was eating horribly cooked fish with her hands like it was no big deal.
Puck bit into his own fish, forcing himself to eat all the food on his plate—he didn't want any leftovers to attract hungry animals.
"Tomorrow I can explore the jungle and go hunting. Maybe there's some actual meat on this island. I'll look for some fruit too," he added.
"I'll come," Rachel said.
Puck shook his head. "No, I want you to stay on the beach."
Rachel let out an annoyed sigh. "Yes sir. Whatever you say."
Puck set the empty rock on the ground, turning his attention to Rachel. "Go ahead and say it. I know you're not going to be happy until you get whatever's bothering you off your chest."
"No, now's not the right time."
"Now's the perfect time, Rachel. We're stuck on an island with nothing but time. Go on. I know you want to."
Rachel set her rock on the ground, turning so she was facing Noah. "You're always telling me what to do. You act like you're giving me a choice but really you're making the decision for me. And I don't just mean from the crash. I mean all the time. And whenever I don't do what you tell me to, you make me feel guilty for doing what I want. Like when I went to the premiere for Kurt's movie instead of staying home because your mother was there that weekend."
"Yeah well—"
Rachel held up a hand, cutting him off. "Stop, please. It's my turn to talk right now. You can say whatever you want when I'm finished." Puck fell silent, watching her as she spoke, clearly unable to stop now that she'd started.
"And you never trust me anymore. You always think I'm cheating on you when I've never even looked at another man since I've been with you. You treat me like the devil anytime I choose to do something for my career instead of staying home and watching television with you. Things never used to be like this, Noah. They've gotten so bad. I feel like when you're not interrogating me about where I've been, you're smothering me or trying to tell me what to do. And then you assume all these things about me and act so disappointed when I let you down."
"You done?" he asked.
Rachel nodded her head, catching her breath.
"Rachel, why didn't you tell me this before? You know, when you started feeling like this, why didn't you tell me instead of suffering in silence?"
"Would it have mattered? You don't listen to anyone. You always think you're right. And when you're wrong, you're still right. Anything I would have said you'd have interpreted as me being hormonal or overreacting. It wouldn't have helped."
"Well, it's not all my fault," he said defensively. "You can be difficult to live with."
Rachel let out a huff. "See, there you go again. You never listen o anything I say! I never said you were totally at fault. It's my fault too we're like this, but you have to accept some of the fault instead of putting all the blame on me."
Puck seemed to think about it for a minute. "You know what. We need to get this all out there. I want you to tell me everything you don't like about me."
"Right now?" Rachel asked.
Puck nodded his head. "Yes, right now. Then I'll tell you everything I don't like about you."
Rachel's jaw twitched for a moment before she nodded her head. "Alright. You're stubborn, you always think you're right, you never listen, you're bossy and controlling at times, you think everyone should do what you want, you make unrealistic assumptions about people so you're constantly being let down by them."
"Fair enough," he said. "You're a spoiled diva, you don't like doing what other people tell you to do even if it's the right thing to do, you're stubborn and refuse to change for anyone, you're selfish, you're a brat, you always put yourself above everyone else, you're a snob, and you always put your family last on your list of priorities."
"That it?" Rachel asked, her voice a bit short.
"One more. I hate how you're always jumping through hoops to do whatever Jesse St. James asks you to do, but you act like it's torture when I ask you to do one simple thing."
"That's not true," Rachel said defensively. "And I hate how you're always assuming I'm having an affair with Jesse."
"You don't act like you're not. You're always spending time with him and then when Dianna left him and people said he was having an affair with a close friend of his…"
"So you assume it's me! God Noah, it's like you don't trust me."
"I do trust you, Rachel. It's him I don't trust."
"Then you don't trust me to not give in to him if he ever made a move. Which he hasn't."
"Then who was he sleeping with if it wasn't you? I know you know, Rachel."
"I can't tell you," she mumbled. "I promised."
Noah let out an exasperated sigh. "Rachel, how are we supposed to fix this if you're not going to be honest with me? If you're not telling me what really happened with Dianna and Jesse, then I can only assume it's because you broke up their marriage."
"The fact that you could even think I was capable of that means you really don't know me anymore," Rachel said coldly, standing up and heading for the small shelter Puck had built.
He jumped to his feet, grabbing her arm to prevent her from walking away. "Rachel, please. I don't want to think that about you, but you keep acting like it's true. What am I supposed to think?"
"You're supposed to trust your wife. You're supposed to believe that I would never break our vows. I haven't done anything to make you doubt that, Noah. You just think that because I have a close male friend that I'm inevitably going to fall into bed with him because you can't be around a woman without thinking about sex. Not all people are like that."
"I do not fall into bed with every woman I meet," Noah muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. "Please, Rachel. I need to know."
Rachel shook her head. "I can't. I can't betray his trust. If anyone found out, it would destroy him."
"Who's going to find out? It's me and you stuck on this island for who knows how long. Marriage is about honesty, Rachel. If you can't be honest about something like this, then maybe we never were really meant to be."
Rachel looked up at Noah before closing her eyes. "Dianna caught him in bed with someone else. He'd been having an affair for over a year. I knew about it from the beginning."
"How?" Puck asked.
"Because I was there the night they got together."
"Who is it, Rachel? What was Jesse sleeping with?"
"Kurt."
Noah's eyes went wide as he tried to register what Rachel was telling him. Jesse was…gay?
"He's been confused for a long time. He never thought he was gay, he just thought he wasn't interested in girls yet." She gestured for him to follow her back to the fire, taking a seat on a rock, Noah sitting beside her. "When we dated in high school, he was trying to figure himself out. His marriage to Dianna was a sham. He used to have to get drunk before they had sex just so he could rise to the occasion. When you and Nathan were in Lima for your mother's birthday, Kurt and Jesse were over our house. Kurt had just gotten his Emmy nomination, so we were celebrating. I guess all those years of sexual tension finally exploded or something because Jesse and Kurt hooked up that night. Jesse swore it was going to be a one-night thing, but he told me two months later they were seeing each other. I told him he should tell Dianna, but he was too worried about what people would say when they found out he was gay. I promised him I wouldn't say anything, and I didn't until now."
Puck stayed silent as Rachel finished her story, his hand resting on her knee the whole time. Rachel didn't even realize it was there until she'd finished talking. Though she didn't pull her leg away. She let Puck keep his hand there.
"Please say something," Rachel whispered, leaning a little closer to Puck.
"Wow," he finally said. "Can't say that I was expecting that. So she caught them in bed together?"
Rachel nodded her head. "Kicked him out that day. Though when she found out I knew all along, she leaked the story about him banging a friend to the press, assuming people would think he was screwing me. I think she was trying to ruin my marriage since I'd helped ruin hers. Basically, she's just a bitch. Though you thinking I was sleeping with Jesse hasn't been the only problem with us. I guess it was just another thing to be added to the list."
Puck placed a hand on the back of his neck, letting out a sigh. "Look, Rach, about what I said before we left…"
She placed a finger on his lips. "You'll get your divorce. Just because I told you the truth doesn't mean I'm going to keep you imprisoned in a marriage you so desperately want out of. I may be selfish, but I'm not that selfish."
Noah shook his head. "That's not what I was going to say, Rachel. I know I told you I was miserable and wanted a divorce before we left, but now I'm not so sure. Maybe it's this island or the fact that you're the only other person here besides me. Or maybe it's because I really do love you more than life itself. But I don't know if I want a divorce anymore."
"Then what do you want, Noah?"
"Hell if I know, Rachel. All I know is I'm confused. I mean, you kissed me earlier after going on and on about our first kiss and then flipped a shit and stormed off when I didn't kiss you back. Then, when I kiss you, you slap me. You're giving me mixed signals which isn't helping me."
Rachel's cheeks turned pink. "Yeah, sorry about that. I wasn't sure if I liked it or not, and the side that wants to hate you won that battle, this the slap. I didn't hurt you too bad, did I?"
Puck let out a chuckle. "You barely weight 100 pounds. It would take a lot more than a simple slap for you to hurt me," he teased.
Rachel made a face at him before giving him a nod, indicating for him to continue.
"I want to figure us out, Rachel. I don't want to give up on us, but I want to be happy. And I haven't been happy for the past two years, really."
"What do you propose we do, then?"
"Well, we're going to be here for God knows how long. Maybe we use that time to get to know each other again. I mean, when we fell in love, we were kids. We were stuck on an island with only each other for company."
"Much like we are now," she added.
"Right. But we were young then. We're older now. I want to get to know you again, to remember the woman I fell in love with back then. I know she's in there somewhere. And maybe if I can find her again I can remember why I chose to spend the rest of my life with you."
Rachel gave Noah a small smile. "And maybe I can remember why I thought the boy with the Mohawk was the greatest thing since sliced bread," she teased, standing up. "So what, does that mean we're going to be in that awkward dating stage like we were the first time?"
Puck laughed and shook his head. "No. Back then I was trying to get into your pants. I've been there and done that, Rach. I guess I'm going to try and woo you. Make you fall in love with me like I did before. So get ready, Berry. I'm going to make you go weak in the knees."
Rachel let out a laugh. "Bring it, Puckerman." Rachel headed into the small shelter, leaving Noah alone on the beach to tend the fire. He wanted to be alone now, anyways. He had to plan.
Rachel deserved epic romance. And that was exactly what he was going to bring to the table.