A/N: Hey everybody…just read another awesome chapter from quistie's TSOM and gotta say…damn, I'm still smiling…had to run away and try to polish this…well, whatever this is…long weekend ahead, no promises but hopefully Swimmer, TRFW and maybe some more BLDBAL…ygbsm pointed out that Mr. Grumpy Pants Comes To Breakfast would be an ecellant, albiet strange title for a children's story and if I'm super motivated…Mr. Grumpy Pants Comes To Breakfast will become an actual one shot…Casey babysitting Bartowski twins…ok, there's so much…rainy play day, disney movies, Chuckycheese(Casey+wackamole)…might be fun but will pale compared to frea's Violet and the other 7 urchins that are surrounded by singing…gotta go…don't own Chuck and/or any part of the Chuckverse…don't make money doing this…don't even know what this is…do know the difference between this and shinola…still beta-less…still having fun…and still begging for your approval(or disapproval) by begging for your time…please review. JT
Jim, thanks for the nudge.
Bryce Larkin - Douche Bag At Large - Chapter 11
Chuck walked over to the coffee maker and refilled his 'Darth' mug. Turning around, he found both Sarah and his sister staring, Sarah at something on or near the counter where he was standing and Ellie at Sarah.
"Sarah, really, you're going to have to stop doing that…at least in front of me." Ellie said with a clearly exasperated tone.
"Um, what?" Sarah said as she turned to look at the woman who was seated across from her. Seeing Ellie's raised eyebrows she realized that she'd been caught staring at Chuck's ass…by his sister…again.
"Would someone please tell me what's going on" Chuck said as he walked over to the table, pulled out a chair and took a seat. He watched as the two women exchanged knowing looks.
"He really is that dense, isn't he?" Sarah asked with a smile
"As far as 'those' things go, he really is" Ellie replied as she poured some syrup over the stack of pancakes on the plate she'd just put in front of her brother.
"Hey" Chuck said as he tried to pout, "you do realize that 'he' is sitting right here, don't you?"
Both Ellie and Sarah exchanged looks and then started to laugh when Chuck glared at them both. Just as Chuck was about to demand that someone tell him what was so funny, there was a knock on the front door.
"I'll get that" Ellie said as she slid her chair back and got to her feet. "Don't worry Chuck, if it's one of your other 'girls' here for the 'nickel tour', I'll tell her to come back tomorrow" she added over her shoulder as she made her way to the front door. She didn't see the sudden flash confusion that Chuck saw on Sarah's face, a look that disappeared as quickly as it had appeared, replaced with a look of curiosity.
They both heard Ellie's 'morning, can I help you?' that was followed with a gruff 'sorry to disturb you but I need to speak to your brother'. "Casey?" they both said in unison, their faces both showing a look of confusion. "What does Mr. Grumpy Pants want?" Chuck asked Sarah quietly and only got a shoulder shrug in response. They both looked up when Major John Casey followed Ellie Bartowski into the room.
Ellie returned to her seat and waited, curious about what was going on because she was sure that 'something' was definitely going on.
"Walker, what a surprise to see you here…so early in the morning" Casey said, making his sarcasm so evident that a deaf person would have caught on.
"Cut the crap, Casey. What do you want?" Sarah asked.
"I just came over to see if I could borrow a cup of…"
"Spy!" Ellie blurted out and the other three people in the room froze. The lack of response was all the response that she needed. "Just great, another god damn spy. And you are?" she asked, her tone leaving no doubt that she expected to be answered.
"Uh, John Casey, ma'am…I, uh, just moved in across the courtyard and I met your brother yesterday" Casey answered, "I just stopped over to see if I could borrow a cup of sugar" he said, slowly winding down when he saw the look in Ellie Bartowski's eyes.
"Wanna try again, John?"
"Ellie…" Sarah started to say something and quit once Ellie turned her glare on her.
"Calm down, El" Chuck managed to get out before he felt the glare directed his way.
"Chuck, you keep quiet unless I ask you something. I may not be a nerd but you know that I'll compare my IQ with you any day. Sarah…" she said in a menacing tone when she shifted her glare to the blonde, "don't you say a word. Not. A. Word." When she saw that the two people at the table had decided that keeping their mouths shut was a great idea, she turned back to the big man. "Now, John, you may have 'met' my brother yesterday but you obviously know Sarah so, I'll ask this once…who do you work for and why are you in my apartment?"
John Casey was stunned. He wasn't very surprised that Chuck had decided to shut up and find something interesting to look at on the plate in front of him but he just couldn't believe that Sarah Walker, Langstom Graham's wild-card enforcer, had also fallen to the will of the woman who now faced him. The quick glance to the table had revealed that one of the CIA's best agents had joined the nerd in 'plate-gazing', leaving him alone to face the force of nature that was Eleanor Faye Bartowski.
"Major John Casey, ma'am. NSA" he answered, trying to maintain eye-contact with the brunette who didn't seem to be the least bit intimidated by his size.
"So, not only do I have a CIA super spy trying to jump my little brother's bones…"
"Hey" both Chuck and Sarah said at the same time and then quickly went back to their 'plate-gazing' when confronted with Ellie's stare.
"…I now have a NSA spy living just across the way. What's next? Video surveillance of the courtyard?, microphones in my apartment…?" Ellie asked and when she saw the furtive looks between Sarah and Casey and her brother, her hands slammed down onto the table causing everything else resting there to take a quick leap up before rattling back down. All three people watched, waiting for the next step in the 'eruption' of 'Mount St. Ellie' and they were all surprised when she simply took a deep breath and then a second before returning her stare to John Casey.
"I can't do anything about the cameras in the courtyard, can I" she asked, not waiting for an answer since she was already certain what it would be. "However, John, I will be leaving for my shift at the hospital in just a little while and when I return, I know that there won't be any forms of surveillance, anywhere inside of my apartment…will there?"
"Well, ma'am…"
"Will there?" she repeated, making it easy to tell that she really didn't believe that she needed to ask the question a second time.
Sarah sat, frozen in place because she was afraid to attract Ellie's attention, when something unbelievable happened. While she watched, Major John Casey's rock hard resolve was pounded to dust by battering ram of Ellie Bartowski's iron will.
"No ma'am"
"Very good, John. Now that we have that out of the way, would you like some chocolate chip pancakes before I have to leave for work?"
"Pancakes?" Casey asked, not sure what had just happened.
"What, don't you like pancakes?" Ellie asked as she got to her feet and walked towards the stove. Acknowledging the 'yes ma'am' with a nod of her head. "John, there's fresh coffee in the maker and clean mugs in the cabinet right above the maker. Help yourself" she said, not bothering to watch as he made his way over to the counter, grabbed a mug and poured himself some of the offered coffee. After acknowledging the quick 'thank you', Ellie went back to work on filling a plate with pancakes, eggs, bacon and some hash-browns.
Chuck watched as John Casey returned to the table and pulled out a seat for himself. Catching Sarah's eye, he nodded towards the cup in Casey's hand with the 'Nerds Rule The World' logo. Seeing Sarah's answering smile, he was about to say something when Casey beat him to it.
"Shut it, moron. I know what the cup says."
"Then why did you take it? Are you coming out, John? Do you secretly want to be a nerd? Do you have a drawer full of pocket protectors at home that you take out and wear when no one is around?"
"Shut it, Bartowski, before I make your sister an orphan" the big man hissed and then turned to glare at Sarah who was struggling to contain the laughter that so desperately wanted to get out. "And you better shut it as well before I tell them all about…"
"All about what, John?" Ellie said as she dropped the plate in front of him. "All about her old missions?" Ellie asked as she made eye contact with Sarah and noticed the sadness that seemed to have chased away the laughter that had been dancing in her eyes just moments before. "We already know" she said while maintaining her eye contact with the blonde agent, "and we understand and don't care" she finished, making sure that Sarah knew she was speaking more to her than to Casey, "and you're an asshole for threatening to bring it up. Should I be sorry that I invited you into my home and offered you breakfast?"
And for the second time in under ten minutes, John Casey backed down from another human being. "I'm sorry" he said, almost choking on the words, not for saying them but for actually meaning them.
"Ok then" Ellie answered, letting everything go like it had never happened after winking at Sarah Walker and receiving a small smile in return. Sliding back into her chair she reached for her fork and then paused. "John, quick version, what happened last night?"
With a fork full of eggs halfway to his mouth, Casey paused as if to think about what to say and, having come to a snap decision, cleared his throat. "Don't repeat any of this…there was a lot of people in a hotel conference room to listen to a General speak, there was a really nasty bomb that a Serbian demolitions expert built to blow up the General and anyone within a hundred yards of him, your brother helped us find the bomb, he then disabled the bomb with three seconds left on the timer by using porn, everyone was saved, the end" he finished, took a breath and then popped the forkful of eggs into his waiting mouth.
Chuck felt like ducking as he waited for what he was sure would be an epic outburst from his sister. He figured she'd start with telling him how stupid he was for throwing himself into harms way, then she'd graduate to yelling at Sarah and Casey for getting him involved and then she finish off the display with a long and colorful cursing out of the absent 'Bryce Larkin, Douche Bag At Large'. Instead, he watched from the corner of his eye as his sister seemed to digest Casey's cliff notes version and then take a swallow of her coffee. After what seemed like forever and not having the patience to wait any longer, Chuck finally blurted out "what?"
"What?" his sister replied.
"Aren't you going to yell at me…or something?"
"Why would I do that Chuck? Sure, even the short version of last night's events is pretty terrifying but the truth is, you're still alive and, according to Sarah and John, you're the reason that a lot of other people are alive as well. Me getting upset, as much as I might like to, won't change a thing. The fact that you're sitting here is what's most important. I would of course appreciate it if you would refrain from doing scary shit like that again"
Thank you Ellie, that's what I was trying to tell him this morning" Sarah said with a self satisfied smile.
"Oh really?" Ellie asked with a mischievous grin, "is that what the kids today are calling what I caught you two doing this morning?"
"Hey" both Sarah and Chuck said, trying to pull off a tandem innocent look and failing miserably.
"Next time, close the door…and leave a sock on it" Ellie answered and then realized what she'd said, "on the door, leave a sock on the door."
Casey was refusing to pay attention to the back and forth going on around him, concentrating instead on the delicious food that was rapidly disappearing form his plate. He silently thanked whatever gods were watching over him because if he hadn't planted the bugs yesterday, he wouldn't have felt the need to 'show up' this morning to make sure that Walker and the idiot didn't say anything they shouldn't…of course, he hadn't expected that Ellie Bartowski would be so formidable and he certainly never expected to apologize but, 'what the hell' he told himself, this food was definitely worth it. 'Besides', he reasoned with himself, 'the bugs I take out today could always go back in, some time in the future'. Just as he asked himself if he dared ask for seconds, the idiot dropped the 'bomb'.
"A sock, CB, is that really necessary?" Chuck asked and then froze when he realized what he'd just let slip. Ellie rounded on him and stared. "El, I'm sorry, I was just kidding"
Even Casey found himself watching as Chuck began slowly moving out of arms reach of his sister, a worried look on his face.
"That's really gross, Chuck. To call your only sister, the woman who practically raised you," Ellie began laying it on thick and only Sarah realized that she was yanking her brother's chain, thanks to a brief glance from the brunette, "the woman who made so many sacrifices for you…I just don't get it. So, I have to ask, if I'm 'CB', does that make you…BB?" she finished with a snort that turned into laughter when she saw the look on Chuck's face as he realized what she'd just said. Sarah soon joined the laughter and even John Casey had a small smile on his face which he attempted to hide by shoveling the last of the food from his plate into mouth.
"Oh, laugh it up, everyone. Make fun of the guy who diffused a bomb last night…"
"Using porn" Ellie blurted out and then went back to laughing.
Chuck thought about possible come backs, he thought about using maturity and letting the jokes roll right off his back and then he chose his course of action…he pouted. Of course it was just an act but he was hoping that maybe Sarah might fall for it. He knew his sister wouldn't and he was sure that John Casey couldn't care less but maybe, just maybe, Sarah would. She didn't and he gave up and decided to fight dirty.
"Ok, ok. You got me El. I'm sorry I said it" he said as he stared at his sister and gave her a quick wink. "And to make it up to you, I promise that it won't ever be a problem again. I won't ever have Sarah over, again."
"What?" Sarah asked, the smile suddenly gone from her face. Before she could say anything else, Chuck and Ellie both turned towards her and smiled. "Oh, very funny" she said and then tried to use 'the pout' but gave up when Ellie and Chuck both started laughing. Her head whipped around when she heard Casey start chuckling and then she gave him the classic 'one-fingered' salute which only served to make all three people at the table laugh even more. Knowing it was useless to get mad, she just allowed herself to smile and then join in the laughter, realizing that she couldn't remember the last time she'd actually had this much fun.
0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
Chuck and Sarah stood side by side at the sink, finishing the washing and drying of the last few dishes. Ellie had left for work almost a half hour earlier and Casey had just walked out after reminding them that General Diane Beckman and Director Langstom Graham had scheduled a video conference for later that morning.
"Can you believe how much food Casey put away? I thought he was going to explode…seriously, I think if he'd had one more bite, even a little mint, we'd be busy cleaning 'Casey' off of the walls and ceiling for days. He would've just gone 'pop' like the guy in 'The Meaning Of Life'." Chuck said as he handed the last wet dish to his drying partner. He couldn't believe the blank look on her face. "Monty Python? The Meaning Of Life?"
"Sorry Chuck, doesn't mean a thing to me…should it?"
Chuck just stared at her as she slowly dried the last plate. "Oh Sarah, Sarah, Sarah…what am I going to do with you?"
"I can think of a few things" she answered in a husky voice as she put the plate down and moved closer to the man who suddenly couldn't remember what he'd been about to say. Wrapping her arms around his neck, Sarah pulled Chuck to her and soon had her lips very close to his ear as she started to whisper to him the list of the things she'd thought of that she wanted to do. By the time she'd reached the fifth item on her list, Chuck had begun to 'fight' back, his own mouth mirroring Sarah's as he whispered his own list of things to do. When he nipped at her ear and then began to nibble on her neck, she forgot all about her list and after sliding in between Chuck and the counter, she encouraged Chuck to lift her up so she could sit on the edge of the sink. Once she'd steadied herself, she wrapped her legs around him and pulled him in even closer. His hot breath against her neck was diving her crazy and she was about to command him to take her back to his room, hang a sock on the door and after double checking that it was locked, throw her on the bed and finish what they'd started a few hours before. Putting her lips right next to his ear, Sarah started to tell him it was time when it happened again and Sarah began to wonder if she was ever going to get laid or if the Bartowski apartment was cursed.
"Hey bro, hey Sarah…don't mind me. I've just got to whip up a protein shake and then the kitchen is all yours…again." Devon said with a smile as he opened the refrigerator door. "You guys want me to make a shake for you while I'm at it?"
A/N: More soon. Reviews would be wonderful…I always say it because I always mean it. JT