I Want You to Want Me

Chapter 9: Toxic

It was about 1AM. Just about everything was back to normal. Raven lay in her bed, sleeping (barely), dreaming dreams of distress. Everything was standard again. Cyborg laid on his slab of metal, plugged into his recharger, eye blinking, snoring loudly. Yes things were back to the regular. Beastboy snored and drooled endlessly as the lights from the TV incessantly reflected on his face. Everything was ordinary again. Robin and Starfire were lying on the living couch making out, fervently. Yes, everything was- oh, wait a sec! Okay, so things weren't back to normal completely.

It had been an hour since Robin and Starfire first discovered the each other's mouths and they were still exploring them. With each passing moment the kisses became more fanatical, more ardent, more zealous, more devoted, more enthusiastic, just more.

That's what they both wanted. More. At first they were sitting on the couch facing each other, kissing each other with pure incorruptibility, and keeping their hands to themselves. Slowly but surely, their hands found their way to one another's bodies. And then the kisses weren't so innocent anymore. And then, Robin started to lay Starfire down on the couch. And Starfire pulled Robin on top of her. And soon Robin and Starfire weren't so focused on kissing each other on the lips anymore, but instead, everywhere else. Needless to say, they were getting a little carried away.

But just the same, it was paradise for them. Robin had kissed a lot of girls in his day, but he had never enjoyed it as much as he was enjoying kissing Starfire right now. And as for Starfire, she had only kissed one other person in her life and that person was nothing compared to Robin. Both of them had dreamed of this for so long and the dreams were always beautiful and magical, but at this moment, not even the sweetest dream could compare to this phenomenal reality that they were experiencing right now. It was the first time they realized that absolute reality could be way better than fantasy. It was more astounding than ever dreamed. This very moment was unparallel to any other moment the two had ever before experienced. This moment was one of unadulterated love. And not just boring everyday, "I love you too" love. No. This was that astonishing, undeniable, can't eat, can't sleep, dream come true, miraculous, there is no one else for me in the universe, incontrovertible love. It was to the point that if they stopped loving each other right now, they wouldn't be able to breath anymore. This moment, this love was essential to their very being.

It was impossible for things to get any better right now. Absolutely impossible. But somehow with each passing second, things did get better. That is until the phone rang.

Now, Robin and Starfire were annoyed and confused. Why would someone be calling them at one o'clock in the morning? Unless there was an emergency. No matter the reason, or how much they didn't want to answer the phone, they had to. One, if it was an emergency, it was their duty to save the day. Two, if it wasn't an emergency, it could be a telemarketer for all they care, the constant ringing of the phone just might cause the rest of the team to wake up and see why no one was getting the phone. Causing them only to discover what was occurring in the living room at this very moment. So the phone had to be answered. It was very necessary right now.

So with a groan and a moan Robin raised himself up and reached towards the coffee table for the phone. Starfire, also a little tweaked at the moment, attempted to fix her somewhat disheveled appearance and resituate herself so that Robin's weight shift wouldn't cause her discomfort.

"Uh, hello." Robin said with a tone that was screaming, "what do you want!"

"Oh, hey babe! Thank God it's you!"

"SUMMER?!" At the mere mention of her name Starfire became nervous, guilty, and proud all at the same time. But the emotion that she was really struggling with was worry. Was Summer standing out on their doorstep right now? Did Summer know what was going on? Starfire didn't know the answers. The only thing her mind could express right now was, 'Oh, crap.'

"Yeah, hi babe. I'm sorry its so late or early or whatever." Robin was starting to sweat. He was really becoming nervous. Things felt so right with Star just now, but he forgot that they were wrong. He had a girlfriend. And even though she was the devil incarnate, she was still his girlfriend and no girl wants or deserves to be cheated on. That's when it hit him. Did she know? Was she watching all this time, unbeknownst to him? He didn't know. He just thought, 'Oh, crap.'

"Uh, Summer, um, hey, um, what's going on?"

"Oh, Robin, I just got in a huge fight with daddy. He was angry with me just because I came in five minutes ago. I mean, what's the big deal? It's not like it's a school night. So, anyway, he like, yells at me and says that if I can't live by his rules then I can't live under his roof."

"Oh, Summer, That's-"

"-Please, Robin, I'm talking. Try not to interrupt." Suddenly he didn't feel so bad anymore. Regardless, he got off of Starfire and sat on the other end of the couch. Starfire, meanwhile sat up and starting fixing her hair while awaiting news of what was wrong.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. Anyway, back to me, I said, 'fine, who cares. I have enough money to go find a hotel,' and he says something like, 'if you leave this house, princess, then you are cut off.' So I'm like petrified obviously because daddy can't cut me off. I mean, I'm me! So I said fine. And left. I mean I'll be back in the morning, or when I think daddy's learned his lesson, but I need somewhere to stay tonight. Do you think I could come over?"

What was he supposed to say? She had nowhere to go. He couldn't say no. So he said the only other thing he could.

"Of course, Summer. You can stay here." As soon as he said those words Starfire rapidly turned her head in his direction and looked at him in shock. She couldn't come over and spend the night. Not now. Not after what had just happened between them. Could she? No. Unless he didn't care. Unless what had just happened wasn't as thrilling for him as it was for her. Unless he was just having a good time. Starfire felt hurt.

"Alright. Okay. I'll see you in thirty. Okay. Bye."

There was that awkward silence again. Each titan sitting on an end of the couch, twiddling his or her thumbs, looking at the carpet, trying to think of something, anything, to say.

"So, that was Summer?"

"Yeah."

Silence yet again.

"So?"

"So?"

"What did she say, Robin?"

"She had a fight with her dad, she's gonna stay the night." Starfire didn't know what she was supposed to say now. She had so many questions to ask him, but she just couldn't, in fear of what the answers might be.

"When will she be here?"

"Half hour."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Um, Robin," she started nervously. Would she dare to even ask the question that was currently pounding in her brain? Yes. "About what happened tonight."

"Yeah, Starfire, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I mean I have a girlfriend."

"I know. And do not be sorry. It was no more your fault than my own. I apologize."

"That was a huge mistake, Star." She couldn't believe he just said that. He couldn't believe that he just said that. He wanted to say that it was a mistake to cheat on Summer with Starfire instead of dumping Summer for Starfire. But he didn't say that.

"Yes. It was. After all you love Summer, not me. And I have someone else right?"

"Yeah."

"So, tonight was just a mistake. It didn't mean anything?" Robin didn't know what to say. So for once, instead of trying to play things smart and possibly make things worse, he spoke from his heart.

"Star, I'd be lying if I said that tonight didn't mean anything to me. I care for you. A lot. It's just. Summer. I don't want to be a boyfriend who cheats. And even if I wanted to dump her for you, right now, I can't. It's just bad timing. I'm, I'm sorry."

"I understand. But, are you going to tell her?"

"I don't know."

"I see. Well," she said as she rose from the couch and walked towards him, "it seems that there is nothing left to discuss here. Good Night, Robin." She bent down and kissed him he tried to deepen the kiss, but Star wouldn't let him. She stood back up and made her way out of the room.

She felt like she had just been stabbed. Like she was walking around with a gaping wound and no one cared. How could she fall for Robin again? At the same Time, Robin felt like crud. He loved Starfire and he had planned to break up with Summer as soon as he heard her voice on the phone, but then she had had a fight with her dad and was upset and it was just, as he told Starfire, bad timing.

"Robin," she called to him before leaving the room. He turned around while still seated on the couch and saw her there by the opened door, about to make her way into the dark hallway. Her back was facing him, her head turned in his direction.

"Just for the record, I thought that you should know that this night meant something to me too. Actually, it meant more than just something," she said as she turned her body to face him, "it meant everything. Robin there is no other man."

"What?"

"Yes. I was trying to tell you that I loved you earlier today, but you already had someone. Bad timing I suppose. And tonight, I tried to forget about you and convince myself that it was not just bad timing, but fate. That you and I were not meant to be. That I should leave you be and allow you to stay happy with Summer.

"Robin, tonight I had every intention of ending our friendship forever because if you love someone you are supposed to let them go and want them to be happy. I planned on doing so. But when I saw you, I couldn't bring myself to leave you alone. I realized that I needed you. I still need you. Robin, I do not know any other way to say it. I love you. And tonight I thought that you loved me too. I thought that you needed me too. But now I see that you do not. And even if you did, there will always be a Summer standing in our way.

"Perhaps I should just move on. Maybe my earlier thoughts were correct. Perhaps it is fate. Whatever it is, I will always be somewhat jealous because Summer has you and I do not. But she has you fair and square and I must respect that. No matter how much it pains me to do so. After all, in my mind, she will never come close to what you deserve. She will never be able to hold you like I can or touch you like I do or love you like I can, but you will never know. Something will always come up. It will be a perpetual state of bad timing. You and I can never be, I now see that. It pains me to say that, but it is true. I can say that now. And even if I can say it, it does not mean that I will stop loving you, because I will not," Starfire said, near tears. She could feel them welling up, she didn't know if she even made sense in what she was saying, but she had to continue.

"You have Summer. And after these things I have just said you may feel obligated to reciprocate my feelings and break up with Summer. Do not break up with her for me. You could not even if you wished to do so. You care about her too much. And as long as you care, I care. Robin, I am giving you up so that you can be happy. And by you leaving her for me, it would be messing with fate. That would be wrong. She is yours, you are hers, and I must deal with that. In trying to win your love I have become something I never wanted to be. I have come between you in the worst possible way and for that I am sorry. I have become what I felt she was at first, and that is wrong. I did not wish to make things difficult between the two of you and for that, as well, I am sorry. But I am most importantly sorry for leading you on when I knew deep down inside that we could never be. " One tear had trickled down her face now and she wiped it away knowing that she still had something to say and could never look weak in front of him.

"However, I did love you, I do love you, and for that I am not sorry. I am sorry that my love caused you to make a mistake, but I am glad that this has all happened. Because now we know, we are not meant to be, otherwise things would be easier. And, honestly anything would be easier than this is right now. I am sorry yet again and never meant to come between you and Summer."

She looked at Robin. He was staring at her in shock. He was flabbergasted. He didn't know what to say or do or how to react.

"Well. I just wanted you to know those things. Summer will be here soon. So, Good night." And with that she left him there and stepped into the darkness. She wondered the halls feeling as if her wound was growing larger with each passing second. She couldn't breathe. She felt lost and hurt. She knew that Summer had won. She knew that she was alone. She knew she had to move one, but she didn't want to. More importantly, she didn't know how.

There was a knock at the door. Robin mad his way down while putting on his mask. He felt like he was going to cry. She loved him. There was no one else. They would have been together by now had it not been for his foolish pride. Everything that was happening was his fault. She really loved him. She had all along. And he ruined it for what? Summer? She was nothing. But Starfire had told him not to dump her. That he was truly happy with her and to forget about Starfire. But how could he forget about her after she just spilled her soul on the living floor for him? Besides, she was wrong. He wasn't happy with Summer. Or the past hour never would have happened and he knew it.

Tonight. It was over. It had to be. Summer wasn't even upset on the phone. He could do this. It was time. The doors opened.

"OH BABE!!!" She said as she threw her arms around his neck and started to sob.

"WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? DADDY HATES ME!" What could he do? He should just push her away and say, "I don't know what you should do, but its over. Find a hotel." But Robin wasn't that kind of person. So he did what any nice guy would do. He wrapped his arm around her and consoled her. With each shudder of her body he wondered if this was what his life was meant to be? A life of holding a crying woman in an elevator, too afraid to tell her the truth? At this point he didn't know. But he did realize something once he sat Summer down at the kitchen counter. When she wasn't yelling or being stuck up, she was really pretty. He cared about her. That's why he wasn't breaking up with her, he cared about her. And that was something he never expected to happen.

He wiped away her tears with his hand and thought that maybe Starfire was right. Maybe he was supposed to have Summer. Maybe he and Star weren't destined to be. Would there always be a Summer standing in their way? He wasn't sure. But he was sure that he did care about Summer. He was sure that he cared about Starfire and figured that if he couldn't have Starfire then maybe having Summer wouldn't be so bad. Starfire seemed to understand this and had grown to a level where she didn't seem to need him anymore; maybe he didn't need her either?

Starfire had made it to her room and leaned against her door and began to sob. It was early Saturday morning. Her birthday was on Wednesday. Even though the team had been trying to pretend like it wasn't a big deal, she knew they had been planning a party for her for the past three weeks. It was going to be a blast. The best time ever. It was going to be a celebration of how wonderful these teenage years are supposed to be. But right now, these teenage years just didn't seem so wondrous.

Her room was dark. The moon was the only illumination in her bedroom. She couldn't stand to turn on the lights. She couldn't stand to get up and walk away or grab a tissue. She couldn't do anything, but cry.

At first, telling Robin about how tonight made her feel and how he made her feel was difficult. But with each passing word it became easier and she was feeling some relief. She felt content and as if she was doing the right thing. But as soon as she finished her statement about him caring for Summer and never loving her, she felt a sharp pain in her chest.

The wound grew larger with each moment. It was after one thirty. Summer was in the tower, somewhere. Starfire knew it. She could sense it. She just wanted to know if he was going to tell Summer or not.

Starfire suddenly chuckled, the tears still streaming down her face. The thought of how Summer would react to the fact that Robin had just made out with her amused Starfire. She could picture her face in her head and Summer saying something stupid like, "But how could anyone ever cheat on me?!" The laughter intensified then turned back into sobs.

"What?"

"I said I need to confess something right now." Robin had been thinking about whether or not he was going to tell Summer what happened and finally decided that he should. If he really cared about her and wanted to move on from Star, he had to have everything out in the open.

He thought it was almost funny how he had come to that conclusion; that he wanted to move on from Starfire. He didn't really know how to do so, but he figured this was a good first step.

"So, go ahead." And after a deep breath, he began.

"Summer, I don't know how to say this, so I'll just say it. I made out with Starfire."

"Come again," Summer said head tilted looking at him with disgust, confusion, and anger. She knew what she thought she heard him say, but she needed to hear it again and think how she should react. After all that little grass stain couldn't have possibly stolen her boyfriend? Right?

"I kissed, well, made out with Starfire."

"What?! BUT HOW COULD ANYONE EVER CHEAT ON ME?! I mean, I'm, ME!" She stood angry and upset. He was slightly confused and frightful. What was he supposed to do?

She had heard the crying and the sobbing in her dreams. She knew it was going to happen. She could feel it coming and dreading it, especially since they were getting along so well. But there was nothing she could do about it. She wanted to ignore it and tried to sleep soundly, tried to hid from the problem in the safety of her bedroom, like she normally did, but once she realized she could hear the sobbing, and she was awake, no longer sleeping, she had to help.

She rose from her bed and put on her robe and exited the lonely room to give comfort to another. With each sob that escaped Starfire's lips, she felt better. And that was what pained her. She was upset that Beastboy could just be himself again after she literally broke his heart and hurt his pride. It had bothered her the whole night through and when she saw him in the hall, it wasn't supposed to affect her since she really didn't care about him, but his blowing her off did bother her. It hurt her. And now, she didn't want to be alone anymore, or haunted the memory. Her only question at the moment, as she inched closer and closer to Starfire's room, was who was going to be comforting whom?

She knocked on the door and after no answer she took upon her self to enter using her powers and saw Starfire was sitting on her bed, knees pulled to her chest, rocking back and forth, tears streaming. She approached the girl. She sat next to her on the soft bed, the blankets falling towards the floor. As if preprogrammed to do so, Starfire automatically reached out and grabbed Raven, holding her in a tight hug. And then Raven did a most un-Raven like thing: she returned the hug.

Yes, it was awkward, and Raven was patting her strangely, after all she hadn't hugged many people before, but it was full of caring and more importantly, understanding. Raven understood Starfire's frustration. She understood that she wanted Robin to feel a certain way, but didn't want to have to experience it herself. These were all things she was experiencing with Beastboy as well, but Starfire's pain was caused by her love for Robin. Raven knew that she couldn't possibly love Beastboy. Could she?

After a period of silence, that is minus the occasional sobbing and gasps, Starfire told Raven what happened, needing counsel.

"You guys made out?" Starfire only shook her head to give her answer.

"I can't believe it. The boy wonder really lost it, didn't he? Well, Star, I'm sorry, but I, I just don't know what to say. I don't know what you're supposed to do, nothing like that has ever happened to me before. I'm so sorry." Starfire had been expecting an answer, after all Raven knew everything. But this time she was own her own. She didn't know what to do and started to hug Raven again, crying just as much as before. The only thing she could squeak out when Raven asked her what was the matter was, "Do you think he will tell her?" Yet again, there was question that Raven didn't have the answer to.

Summer was livid. She couldn't understand how he could just make out with her.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? You, You're sorry? Sorry isn't going to cut it babe!"

"It was an accident, Summer."

"How? Did you just accidentally fall on top of her and accidentally kiss her and accidentally stay like that for a few hours?" She didn't know what to do. No one, I mean no one, cheated on Summer. She was above that. He couldn't do this to her and try and pretend like he didn't mean to and apologize all noble. She was angry. She was hurt. She was heated. She was irate. But wait a sec.

Robin was the one to blame. Her brain switched its train of thought completely. As he was sitting on the stool with Summer standing over him, screaming and poking him, she suddenly stopped in mid sentence and tilted her head, looking into the distance. It wasn't his fault at all, was it? It was that Starfreak's fault! She was the one to blame! She had seen the girl and knew she was a threat. But she never thought the girl had this much gumption. And Summer hated gumption.

She knew that Starfire was the one to deal with. Unfortunately, Starfire was an n alien with super strength and super powers, so she couldn't just march to her room and beat her. She decided that she wanted revenge. She wanted to make her pay. Big time. Starfreak must not have known whom she was dealing with. Because when Summer wanted something, she got it. By any means necessary.

She decided to calm down and threw her plan into action.

"Robin, I'm sorry I lost my temper."

"No, I deserved that."

"Well, yeah, you did, but darling, our love is like so strong that there is no way that I can stay made at you and your cute face for long."

"What are you saying?" Even though Robin had decided to move on from Starfire, he still, subconsciously, wanted Summer to reject him and prove Star's ideas wrong. To show that he didn't care about Summer and Star was the only one for him .To break up with him so he could show her how wrong she was about this whole fate thing. But that didn't happen.

"Doll, I'm saying that you and me, it's destiny! And I forgive you! It wasn't really your fault after all. So, let's just forget about it. Oh, I love you!" She threw arms around him and embraced him, and he, unwillingly, did the same.

Summer had made up her mind that it wasn't Robin's fault. It was Starfire's. So, two titans continued their sleep cycle, with drool dripping down their faces; Raven consoled Starfire while trying to find the answers to both of their questions; Starfire sobbed and acknowledged Summer the winner; Robin hugged Summer, uncomfortably, truly sorry, and lost; and Summer hugged Robin, throwing her plan into action, completely knowing that Starfire had to go. Besides, she had caused her recent pain. She was becoming a real thorn in her side, the bane of her existence. And moreover, she was just unhealthy for her and Robin's future. She had a power over him. When it came to matters of Robin, she was intoxicating. Invigorating. Lethal. Poisonous. Toxic.

Hey everybody! Again, it took me forever to do a chapter. It would have been up sooner, but it was too short, I had to fix that. Thanks for the Reviews! Next Chapter already in the works! Please Review! And Fear Not, This is a Robin/Star fic, not Robin/ Summer; we know who will win in the end! Later days!

Lovin' It,

LILY