DISCLAIMER: I do not own Free!
Author's Notes: Part of the "A Shiver of Sharks" series revolving around the Mastuoka siblings and their relationships with the people around them.
Rin's hand was warm, almost stifling so, around hers. His thumb traced absent patterns on the back of her hand and his shoulder was uncomfortably hard against the side of her head, but the tears still leaked out of her eyes.
After the call with Rin had ended, who had proceeded to yell down the phone in between somewhat calm words, Haruka had announced that her big brother would be there as soon as possible. Rin had arrived ten minutes prior to Gou's last lesson, out of breath, and threatening up and down that he would beat the everloving shit out of whoever messed with Gou.
However his resolve had weakened at the sight of Gou, still snifling. Rin had wrapped Gou up in his jacket, taken her damp jacket off Rei, had a word aside with Makoto and Haruka before leading her away with an arm around her shoulders.
Rin hadn't let go of Gou's shoulders until they were safely inside their house, Rin flicking on lights and turning the television on as he walked in. Gou stifled a laugh as he grumbled to himself as he flicked through the channels, one hand on his hip, the other holding the remote at the tv.
It was a strangely familiar feeling. It had been a long time since Rin had barged into their own home, turning on every piece of technology as he went. The previous year, when he had bothered to tell Gou or their mother that he was coming home for the weekend, he normally shut himself up in his room, only coming out for meals. Gou felt her eyes heat up again, as tears threatened to fall for an entirely different reason this time.
"Anything in particular you want on?" Rin's voice cut through her little moment, and she smiled when she noticed he was flicking back to one particular channel.
"Not really."
Settling on some old cartoons, Gou watched as the remote landed on the couch, and followed Rin to the kitchen, leaning against the counter as he rifled through the fridge. The heavy weight in her gut that she had been ignoring began to grow, and Gou looked anywhere other than her brother as he inspected various meats and day old dishes. She was supposed to cook tonight with the leftovers from the previous night, as their mother had rushed out early this morning yapping into the phone with a wave of her hand.
Rin's tone was nothing if not disgusted. "Is this all you eat?"
"Mum isn't home till late some nights, so I cook." Gou shrugged. It had been that way for a while. Their mother had only started to pick up more hours within the last few months, as she had done just prior to Rin leaving for Australia and just before putting them into high schools. Gou didn't know what the reason was this time, but she didn't press for details.
A noncommittal sound came from Rin, and he promptly threw out one of the rice dishes.
Gou jumped to her feet in an instant. "Hey! That was supposed to be my dinner!"
"And it's been sitting there since last night? Let me cook you something."
"But-"
"Just let me."
And that was the end of the conversation. Rin pulled out what ingredients he required, until he noticed Gou hanging over his shoulder. He shooed her out and then busied himself with getting dinner together, leaving Gou to her own devices in front of some mecha-cartoon.
Gou watched for all of two minutes, until she became acutely aware of how cold she was. Rubbing her arms, she poked her head back around the corner. Rin was humming to himself as he neatly chopped a carrot. It amused her to no end, and she tried to hide the humour in her voice at her brother turning into a housewife.
"I'm going to have a shower," she called, waiting for a response.
Turning slightly, the corners of Rin's mouth picked up. "I should be done by the time you're out."
Nodding, Gou left, making her way to the bathroom, flicking a few of the lights as she made her way through. For some reason, the house seemed warmer than it normally did. Even when she was living with her mother, she felt incredibly lonely. Rin only came home for holidays, and as his condition worsened, he locked himself in his room more often than not. No amount of kicking the door encouraged him to come out and it wasn't until their mother refused to feed him under the door that he dragged himself out to dinner.
Gou didn't realise she had come to the bathroom until she was standing in front of the mirror, frowning at her reflection. Closing the door softly, Gou sank to the floor. Her eyes stung again as she realised that this was probably the happiest she had been in a while, seeing her brother in their house and smiling and acting like he used to. Sure, the circumstances weren't the best for him to consider coming home but she'd take what she could.
Slowly, with shaking knees, she lifted herself, undressed, and stepped into the shower, pulling the screen shut behind her. The water was far too cold, and Gou had half a mind to think that she was going to get a cold after this, but it eventually warmed to something bearable. Her movements were still slack, and as she ran shampoo through her hair, the vaguest thought of dying flew through her mind.
No, she wasn't like that. She could just imagine various ways Rin and her mother would react. Rin would be devastated. Even though it had been years, and even after last years fiasco, he still was not over their father's death. No reassurance from their mother would ever change the way Rin reacted to talk of their father. Would her death be like that? Would Rin never speak of her again?
And her mother? She still remembered a time when her mother had curled up under the blankets for weeks on end, with Rin shouting at her to move, to live, to show Gou that she was alright, that she could still smile. That period of time was darker than learning of their father's death, in Gou's mind. She had never seen their mother so crippled, so hurt. Anyone who knew their mother knew she was life itself. She was like a storm, and came tearing through every so often with that energy of hers. Gou wondered if herself or Rin were like that.
But would that go? Would that leave their mother if Gou were to just leave? She wouldn't get up then. Maybe she'd join a cult like their crazy aunt, after her son passed away. The life would leave their mother then. Gou couldn't do that to her.
A knock at the door brought Gou back into reality, making her jump, nearly slipping on the suds at her feet. All too easy to die, she thought, gripping the soap dish until her knuckles turned white. Almost too easy.
"Gou, hurry up! I've called you at least ten times now! And mum said she'll be home soon too!"
"Hang on, I'll be out soon!" Gou called back, sticking her head back under the water to wash the shampoo out.
In a furious rush, she combed conditioner through her hair with her fingers, poured a generous amount of bodywash onto her hands, scrubbed herself clean and turned the taps off. Blinking away soap, Gou reached for the nearest towel, rubbing her hair before wrapping it around herself. Stepping lightly around to collect her clothes, her thoughts fell back. If she slipped, it would be so easy to go. It was quite common for people to die in their own bathrooms, after all.
Leaving, after turning on the fan, Gou looked back. Her eyes lingered on the shower, a sigh leaving her. No. She couldn't do that to anyone.
A quick run to her room, Gou pulled on clothes left at the end of her bed, hanging her uniform up on her door. The sleeves were still stained a slight pink, and the front had dark patches trailing from the collar down. Good thing I have more than one shirt, Gou thought, contemplating just throwing it out. If she put it in the wash, she'd have to explain to her mother why it was stained so badly, and Gou was not a very good liar.
Making her way to the small dining room after shutting her door with a click, Gou saw Rin sitting on the couch, hugging his legs and resting his chin on top of his knees. From this angle, Gou thought he looked a little thin, as if his shirt was a size too big the way it was hanging off his shoulders. Gou had half a mind to call out to him and tell him her thoughts, but stopped herself. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't. A lump formed in her throat, a strangled noise following that alerted Rin to her presence.
"Finally," he sighed, turning the volume of the television down as he stood. "Thought I was going to have to drag you out. I'm starving."
His last few words were in English, but Gou caught the meaning by the way he patted his stomach. Dread filled her as she remembered her English assignment, but the way Rin grabbed her arm and all but dragged her to the dinner table let her forget again. Rin pushed her into a chair, taking the one opposite, quickly clapping his hands together before digging in. Gou hurriedly followed suit, not taking notice of what she was eating as she raised the bowl to her mouth.
It was almost too quiet, and Gou couldn't help but check to see how Rin was doing. He wasn't as tense as he had first been when he had walked into their house. He had changed out of his uniform, she noted, but still. He seemed to be losing weight. That would mean he would be losing it at a faster rate to gaining muscle and his balance would be off. He'd have to work harder to keep his stroke constant, and would probably drop his time by a fair amount to begin with. If it was one of those new fad diets that promoted muscle-gain, Gou would not be pleased.
Rin noticed she had stopped eating, and set his own bowl down. Pointing his chopsticks at her, Rin leaned forward on the table. "If you're not going to eat, don't force yourself. Mum said she'll eat the leftovers."
"No, that's not why I-" Gou stopped herself, setting her bowl down. She couldn't tell him she was concerned. Well, she could, but there were different outcomes and she didn't like the thought of any.
Rin's sigh had her look up again. "Gou, if it's about today ..."
"It's not."
Rin's eyebrow twitched at her interruption. "Let me finish. Look, I don't know what's going on, and if you don't want to tell me straight away, fine. But, you can talk to me, Gou."
"Then," Gou straightened her back, "you can talk to me as well. Don't fall back to the way you were."
Lowering his chopsticks, Rin seemed to be mulling over something. After a minute, that stretched on far too long, he set his chopsticks down altogether, and stuck his right hand out instead. "We'll make a deal then. We'll talk about everything, alright?"
"Like we used to?"
Gou wanted to feel embarrassed by how small her voice was, but she remembered a time when she was eight and her brother was ten, and he wanted to go exploring. They found a hidey-hole in the backyard which was their secret, and they'd share comics and stories, falling asleep more often than once back there. They shook on it, to keep that place to themselves.
Rin smiled when Gou grasped his hand in hers, and they shook firmly. "Like we used to."
A bark of laughter filled the room, and their hands dropped, Rin spinning around in surprise while Gou let a single word leave her.
"Mother?!"
Setting herself down beside Rin, their mother wrapped an around him, bringing him close against his protests to press a firm kiss to his forehead. Once she had decided that she had sufficiently embarrassed her son, she let go, turning to the both of them with an almost proud smile.
"I'm glad you too are getting along. After all, we Matsuokas have to stick together."
A/N: This was supposed to go up straight away with CommBr but I got distracted aha ...
I'm also going to do ... something along the lines of spinoffs, from different characters point of views. Like, for instance, I might write something for Makoto's POV for OccHaz chap 1 or Seijuurou's POV for CommBr chap 1, etc. Maybe even multiples for one chapter if I get enough inspiration to. Yeah.
Still planning on rewriting the first chapter a bit at some point but I want to get at least five chapters up of each story before I do that.
Please review.