A/N: This is a quickie that wrote itself and I'm not sure how it is…hopefully not too bad…I don't own Chuck or any of the characters from the show…and not owning means I'm blameless for the almost misogynistic emotional treatment of Sarah at the hands of her creators…she really wasn't treated well enough to make up for wringer that she…and we(the viewers) were put through, in my opinion…I'm not making money while borrowing the characters and making them dance to my 'music'…and all errors are my own…finally, thanks to all of you who take the time to read my doodles…your alerts, favorites and reviews make this all worthwhile. Thanks for the nudge, Jim. JT
Bryce Larkin - Douche Bag At Large - Chapter 20
Chuck groaned as he attempted his usual morning stretch, suddenly aware that the previous night's activities may have been more exercise than he'd ever gotten…in his life. Turning his head slightly so he could get a look at source of the light snoring sound that had awoken him, he groaned again as the muscles in his neck and shoulders screamed their disapproval.
"Chuck?" a tired sounding voice called.
"Yeah?"
"Morning. Why aren't you up making us breakfast?"
"Because…I'm pretty sure that you broke me last night."
"I didn't hear you complaining last night, Chuck. Now, breakfast, pretty please."
"I'm serious, Sarah. I don't think I can move" he announced after making another attempt to move and then groaning in pain.
"Alright, you big baby" Sarah said with a laugh and then moved to roll over only to stop abruptly and let her own moan of pain. "What did you do to me last night?"
"What did I do? I seem to recall someone telling me" Chuck started and then affected a higher voice, "download the Tantric meditation and then download the Kama…"
"So this is my fault? You're trying to blame me?" Sarah answered with a pout.
"If the shoe fits."
"How about if I use the shoe to beat your ass?"
"Alright, why don't you hop out of bed and get that shoe?" Chuck replied with a smirk.
"Maybe I will…in an hour of two" she answered before moving to wrap herself around her bedmate, tucking her face into her favorite spot right at the junction of Chuck's neck and shoulder.
"Yeah, maybe in an hour or five I'll be able to move enough to make us some lunch" Chuck managed to get out around a huge yawn.
"mmmmm hmmmm" Sarah managed to get out before allowing herself to fall back asleep, the steady beat of Chuck's heart, beneath her hand, calming her.
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The sound of Chuck's phone ringing woke both he and Sarah, Ignoring the discomfort, He reached out his hand and grabbed the noise maker from it resting place on the bedside table.
"Meeting in forty-five minutes, bring the screamer" Casey's voice instructed him.
"Huh, whaaa?" Chuck somehow managed to reply.
"The General and the Director want to ask about what happened last night."
"Last night?" he responded, wondering how the bosses knew what happened the previous night and, more importantly, why they wanted to know.
"Yeah, moron, and I'm not talking about Walker finding religion, repeatedly, and quite vocally."
"What?"
"Listen, moron, don't make me play the audio recording from the courtyard's microphones. The powers that be couldn't care less about you rocking Walker's world. They are, however, concerned about you fainting. I was about to call for a medical response team last night before the skirt showed up and used the magical healing powers of her lap to wake you up. Meeting in forty-two minutes. Don't be late" Casey growled and then hung up before Chuck could offer any more of his insightful questions.
"Who was it?" Sarah asked, now sitting up next to him with a concerned look on her face.
"Uh, Casey?"
"Is there a problem, Chuck? Why is your face so flushed? Are you feeling ok?"
"We have a meeting in forty-two minutes and, uh, it seems that you may have been a little, uh, a little loud last night."
"What did that asshole say?"
"He told me to bring the 'screamer' who 'repeatedly found religion' last night."
"Oh god" Sarah said in a hushed voice.
"Exactly, uh, it seems that the courtyard surveillance picked up that phrase, repeated a lot, and evidently, a lot louder" Chuck answered, trying to contain his smile when Sarah Walker, super-spy, started blushing and then leaned over, burying her face against his chest. Moments later she started shaking and before he could ask her what was wrong, she rolled onto her back and let the silent laughter find it's voice, the sound soon echoing off the walls of the small room.
"Are you alright, Sarah?"
"Honestly? I've never been better, Chuck. Never! Now, get up, you big stud, and get the shower started."
"Yes ma'am" Chuck answered and slowly swung his legs to the side, his body protesting against the movement. Once on his feet, he turned and looked down at Sarah who still had a smile on her face. "Did I miss something?"
"No, just watching my sexy boyfriend. Make sure the water's really warm, the hotter the better."
"Yes ma'am."
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John Casey was about to make a call to remind his partners that the meeting was about to start when he noticed the front door of Bartowki's apartment. Expanding the view on the monitor, he almost smiled as he watched the pair make their way across the courtyard, both of them moving as if they were in a great deal of pain. Turning the chair he was sitting in, he watched his front door, already knowing what he planned to say when the pair walked in and just hoping they'd make it before the video link activated. He really wanted to take the shot without an audience.
When the door knob began turning, he looked down at his wristwatch and smiled to himself. "Perfect" he mumbled to himself as the door swung open and Chuck stood aside, allowing Sarah to enter first.
"Screecher…Moron…glad you could make it" he called out and then spun his chair back around just as the video link from Washington activated and the images of General Beckman and Director Graham appeared on the monitor that hung from the wall he was now facing.
"Major, where are the other members of your team. Didn't you…oh, hello Agent Walker, Mr. Bartowski" the General said as Sarah and Chuck walked into view.
"My apologies, General, Sir" Sarah said as she stepped up and stood to Casey's left. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she quickly tapped a command and then held the display towards the NSA agent. "I was trying to locate an old photo for Major Cuffs…er, Casey that he had asked me about."
Chuck happened to look down just in time to see the image on the display of Sarah's phone and then quickly looked away, the sight of Casey, handcuffed to a bed with a tiny g-string struggling to hide all of his naughty bits being a sight that he feared he'd never be able to lose. "Holy crap" he mumbled as he tried to look away as quickly as possible without making his action too noticeable.
"If we're done with show and tell can we get to the reason for this meeting?" Director Graham asked, a look of mild annoyance plain to see on his face.
"Of course" Casey growled after giving both Sarah and Chuck a quick stink eye.
"First things first" General Beckman announced. "Mr. Bartowski, are you feeling alright? We are aware of the incident last night and would appreciate an explanation, if that is possible."
"The incident?" Chuck asked after giving Sarah a quick, questioning look.
"Yes, Mr. Bartowski. The footage we've seen appears to show you blacking out and, despite Major Casey's opinion that everything is fine, we'd like to hear your interpretation of the incident" Director Graham said, "and we'd like to schedule an MRI, with one of our local physicians, at your earliest convenience."
"Well, it appears that I stumbled across an unbelievably large cache of information that was included in the Intersect program. Apparently, a programmer with the code name of Orion…"
"Did you say Orion?" General Beckman blurted out, interrupting Chuck's attempted explanation, a look of concern on her face.
"Yes ma'am. Does that name mean something to you?"
"Major, I need you to run a quick diagnostic and tell me that all of your jamming equipment is currently activated before anything else is said" the head of the NSA said, the look of concern on her face causing the three people watching the monitor to exchange concerned looks of their own.
After checking something on his laptop, Casey got to his feet and moved quickly to the touch pad that was just inside, tapping out a complex pattern on the touch pad and then, satisfied with whatever he saw on the display, returned to his seat.
"Everything is five by five, General, and I just activated the back up jammers. There's no way anyone can hear anything that may be said on our end" the big man announced, his voice containing a hint of pride about his security measures.
"Good. Mr. Bartowski? Orion was the code name for the Intersect's inventor and lead programmer. Your…"
"My dad is Orion?" Chuck asked, not concerned that he'd just interrupted the General. "How is it possible that I didn't know that and, more importantly, why didn't you tell me that, ma'am? What the hell is going on?" he finished, sure that Casey was glaring at him, not happy that he'd been less than cordial in his outburst.
"Mr. Bartowski…Chuck…you weren't told about Orion because your father never made it known to us that he'd ever used the name for anything besides a code-name. We never knew that he'd included anything in the intersect besides what was listed in his reports. You're telling me that Stephen added information to his initial program that we were never aware of? How much?"
"General, I can't tell you" Chuck replied before turning to look at Sarah, sure that the stunned look on her face mirrored the look on his own.
"And why exactly 'can't' you tell us what he included, Mr. Bartowski. Is there a reason why you feel it necessary to withhold information?" Director Graham asked, getting back into the conversation.
"Because it would take me several lifetimes to even scratch the surface of all the knowledge that's locked away in here" he answered, gently tapping a finger against his head. The stunned silence that greeted his pronouncement seemed to stretch on for minutes, his two partners both staring at him and while the figures on the monitor stared at each other.
"How…" the General asked, breaking the silence.
"I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I have a few theories" Chuck answered, his attention now back on the video guests, both of whom seemed to be staring at him with a look that seemed to be a mixture of confusion, wonder and worry.
"Could you make a rough guess?" Director Graham asked.
"Um, I believe you could combine the knowledge of the world's ten…no, make that twenty largest libraries and then multiply that by ten? Maybe more. I really have no way to calculate it. I'm pretty sure that my dad, and I'm only guessing here, found some way to gather information through the internet and, using some program of his own, converted and then stored everything he was able to gather in the Intersect program. I believe his program, once it had been activated, continued to gather and convert whatever it could find and than added it to the Intersect."
"How is that possible?" General Beckman asked, giving voice to the same question that everyone had been considering.
"General, I really wish I knew. I have to guess that the original program somehow mutated and continued to find, re-write and store knowledge. Hell, for all I know, the program could still be running, gathering knowledge and storing it…somewhere, just waiting for the command to add it to the original Intersect" Chuck said as the sudden urge to sit down forced him to step away from Casey's side and make his way to the closest flat surface, his knees threatening to buckle before he could make it to a recliner that was less than five feet away.
He dropped onto the Lay-Z-Boy and let his head fall into his hands, unaware that Sarah was kneeling at his side at almost the exact moment that he sat down, a look of worry and concern on her face as she reached out a hand and allowed it to come to rest on his thigh. He didn't see his other partner get to his feet and join Sarah at his side, the concern on his face plain to see.
"Jesus Christ" Chuck mumbled to himself as the odd theories he'd been considering seemed to overwhelm him. "What the hell did you do, Dad?" he asked, wondering if he would ever have an answer and stunned as he considered the enormity of his father's accomplishment.
"Chuck?" Sarah asked softly, her hand gently squeezing his thigh.
"What the hell am I?" Chuck asked when he lifted his head and stared into her brilliant blue eyes.
"You're Chuck Bartowski, my incredibly sexy boyfriend" she answered in a soft voice, lifting her hand and softly stroking his cheek. "And I'd really appreciate it if we could finish this silly briefing so you can take me out to dinner…and then maybe we can go dancing afterwards. Our, we could just stay home, order a pizza…"
"Vegetarian, no olives?"
"And then we can.." she leaned in and started whispering in his ear.
"What?" Chuck blurted out, suddenly alert and staring wide-eyed at the blonde angel kneeling next to him. "I haven't recovered from…"
"Ahem!" General Diane Beckman cleared her throat rather dramatically, hoping to get someone's attention and smiling when three heads whipped around to stare at her image. She recognized the shell-shocked look on the faces of the team members and decided to do something out of character and give them a break. "I realize that you might be feeling a little overwhelmed…"
"A little" Chuck said in a low voice, actually grateful when he realized that the General either hadn't heard him or had decided to ignore his comment, continuing on.
"…and I think that now might be the perfect time to wrap this up."
"Excuse me, General?" Casey asked "I thought you had some information that needed to be shared. That is why you called this meeting, isn't it?"
"Nothing that can't wait until, oh, tomorrow at noon?" she responded. "Director Graham and I need to finish our presentation so we'll reschedule this meeting for tomorrow" she said as her hand reached out and, before anyone in the apartment could say another word, ended the transmission.
"What…"
"the"
"hell?" Chuck, Casey and Sarah asked, exchanging confused glances.
"That's definitely something different" Casey spoke first, then got to his feet and headed towards his kitchen without a backwards glance. "Cold beer?" he asked.
"Yeah, definitely" Sarah and Chuck answered together, their eyes still locked on each others.
"Ok then" his voice drifted back to them along with the sound of a refrigerator door opening and bottles clinking together followed by the sound of the refrigerator door closing.
Chuck and Sarah both looked up as John Casey wandered back towards them, one hand gripping the long neck bottles and the other holding a stack of coasters.
"Might as well find somewhere to sit, Walker" he instructed and wasn't surprised when she slid into Chuck's lap, an arm immediately going around his neck. "I think we need to talk about a few things before tomorrow and right now is as good a time as any" he said as he held out his hand and, after two of the beers were taken, he moved to sit back down in the chair he'd recently vacated.
"Let's start with what happened last night…at the fountain" he quickly added, because he really didn't want to know what happened afterwards. The memories of Walker's repeated screams of religious affirmation were troubling enough, he really didn't want to know what the nerd had done to cause the screams.
A/N: Just a small chapter. Next time, a new mission for the team…and other stuff. Thoughts?