Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine. There. The cat's out of the bag.
A/N: I wrote most of this chapter before Deathly Hallows came out, so there are no major spoilers. Some of it was edited to fit in with DH, but no mind-blowing spoilers. This is AU, so why should it matter anyway?! (Can't help but say that DEATHLY HALLOWS WAS ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS!!!! Except the end, of course…)
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CHAPTER III
Midnight.
Clear skies.
A grassy field.
The camp.
The old man wore an all-black cloak, though it was known he did not need cloaks to become invisible. He did not stoop; the old man marched with his back straight. His long white beard flowed freely (it was so long, he could probably tuck it into his belt) and he strode to the largest tent, where several lamps were lit inside and men discussed plans for battle.
The two guards who were on duty to protect the tent were both asleep, head on each others shoulders. They were very young for soldiers, probably no more than sixteen. Dumbledore cleared his throat. Both boys jumped up and clumsily held their wands in front of them.
"Who goes there?" said one, hesitantly.
"It's only me, Rufus, Dominic; lower your wands and let me in, please," said Dumbledore.
Both of their eyes widened. The one named Dominic suddenly started to apologize, "Oh please, Professor, we didn't want to get out of Hogwarts because we were lazy, see? We only wanted to join the army—"
Dumbledore held up a hand. "I know, Dominic, I know. But currently, it seems you are not quite fulfilling your role in the army."
Both boys' faces flushed from embarrassment. They stood aside and let the Headmaster in.
Important men were sitting on a table, discussing in whispers. Black was the first to see him. He nodded and motioned Dumbledore to come closer.
He noticed all were once his pupils. He'd seen them as boys, laughing and talking merrily in the Great Hall or in the hallways. Now they had no laughter in their eyes and talked in whispers.
James looked up. The bags under his eyes showed he wasn't getting enough sleep, but there was a glint in his eye that Dumbledore knew too well. James was ready to do anything to stop Voldemort.
"Men," he said, "disperse and get some sleep. We'll discuss this tomorrow."
All the men got up, most of them weary and tired. These were not generals; they were men who'd volunteered to fight and got much more than they bargained for.
"Do you want them to stay, Professor?" asked James.
"No."
Lupin and Black stayed behind. "Is this Order business?" asked Lupin, one of the few men who were not tired at all but full of life. Dumbledore noticed the werewolf had been growing his sandy hair so it covered most of his face. His teeth were a bit sharper. It must have been close to the full moon.
"No, this is strictly war business."
James frowned and waved them away. "Away. You've shown your worth. Get some sleep."
They both nodded, knowing James would tell them as soon as he'd finished with Dumbledore.
Old man and commander sat at the table. A large map was strewn across the table. Dumbledore pointed to a small suburb near London. "Voldemort's biggest troop yet will start here," he said, and then moved his finger right on top of London, "and will attack here, sometime next month."
James had never known Dumbledore could be so blunt. He noticed Dumbledore wasn't as full of life as he used to be. The war was really taking its toll.
"Snape told you this?" said James, remembering not to call him 'Snivellus'. He knew how Snape had quickly joined the Order of the Phoenix after Lily had almost died at the hands of Lord Voldemort. James gritted his teeth. Slimy git.
"Yes, he did. He is one of Tom's most faithful followers."
James nodded. "How big is this army?"
Dumbledore told him. James' eyes grew wide. "I don't have even half of that number on my side!"
Dumbledore nodded. "You should tell Lily to send some Aurors over and tell her to push for a draft."
At the name 'Lily', James got a dreaded feeling in his stomach. Dumbledore headed toward the door. As he left, he turned and said, "Keep good care of my students, James. Half the seventh and sixth year boys are in your camp. Teach them well."
James nodded seriously and said, "I promise."
SSS
The stoic redhaired woman watched the bustling mass of witches and wizards hurry cubicle to cubicle, waving papers and yelling at each other. Nobody smiled.
The woman sighed and went back into her office. A young witch, fresh out of Hogwarts, hurriedly entered the room. Out of portfolio, she took out a pile of papers and dropped them on the Auror's desk.
"From the minister," the girl said breathlessly. The young witch left as quickly as she had arrived.
Lily Potter groaned and put the papers aside. Being the Head of Aurors was not at all what she'd thought it would be. James never mentioned the masses of paperwork and the readings of endless Auror reports. There was probably no job duller than this one.
So this is why James felt so helpless all the time, thought Lily. At least she had been out on some missions.
And with the thought of James came the unwelcome tumble and avalanche of emotions. Lily groaned. This was utterly ridiculous. Not to mention foolish and illogical. Lily had spent many sleepless nights recalling that evening when James revealed to her he was off to war. She was constantly plagued with that particular memory like a rogue bludger…
There was silence. Lily looked at James incredulously. The words echoed in Lily's head over and over. She did not need the words repeated. She was a good enough Legimens to know he wasn't lying. The confusion was later. First there was only white-hot anger.
"So you're giving up your efforts in the field we need most progress in to fight with a half-trained militia?" she said scathingly.
He was taken aback. Good, she'd thought.
Quickly, he required his composure.
"No," James replied coldly, "I, unlike you, will be actually doing something about Voldemort. It's a lot better than what I'm doing now."
"So you're leaving a community that needs you most? Just like that? It's just what I expected. You've never changed, have you? The arrogant boy is still there, thinking he can go off do whatever he wants, and everything will turn out fine!" Lily shouted, furious beyond measure. James was cockier than ever.
Soon, Lily had found herself at her doorstep. The day at work couldn't have been worse. She headed upstairs toward a soft, welcome bed. As she plopped down, her thoughts returned to that evening.
Perhaps the 'arrogant boy' comment had particularly riled him, because James was yelling as well.
"NO! I'm going out there to PROTECT this community!" James roared. Lily did not flinch.
Lily gave up. She went back to her cooking, again chopping onions, fighting the sting on her eyes. She so desperately wanted to throw the knife at his head. Lily had wanted to start over on a clean slate with James. Now, he said he was leaving. How…James-ish of him. Running away to adventure. He probably never even listened to her in the first place. She had almost poured out her heart to this arrogant, vile man. Lily flushed. She didn't like her pride getting a blow like that.
The next words out of her mouth would follow Lily to the grave.
"I hope you die."
She continued. "It would make my life a whole lot easier."
There was silence. Then James said softly, "It already has. You're the new Head of Aurors. Congratulations."
With that, James stood up and put on his cloak, donned his hat and put on his shoes. Lily turned and looked at him coldly. He glared back and opened the front door.
"Don't expect me back."
James left, slamming the door.
SSS
These sheets used to be warm.
I'm so cold now.
You always were.
Alone.
Does it matter?
Yes.
Do you miss him?
No.
Yes.
You wanted to start over. You treated him like shit anyway.
You should have been kinder, more sympathetic.
You're horrible. You're cold hearted and—
The thunder flashed outside. It was always raining these days. Lily pulled the blanket closer.
"Merlin, I really fucked up this time."
SSS
James sat on a rock, looking ahead to the camp before him. The tents were few (not that they needed many, of course; the tents were bigger on the inside) and the soldiers were less than he'd expected. The list he had back home seemed irrelevant now. Once he got a good physical look, they were short of what they should have. This was the reason why James was sitting on the rock with parchment and quill in hand. For a few seconds, his mind was blank, unsure of what to put down. This letter could very well be intercepted.
He began to write.
Dear Lily,
I regret to inform you that our numbers are too low. Please send some of your friends over. The bill needs to be passed.
Sincerely,
Prongs
James paused. What else did Lily need to know? Nothing about his well being, thought James. "I hope you die," echoed inside his skull. Lily made it pretty clear she hated him.
James finished the letter off.
P.S. We're not dead yet.
Sirius walked over and took a peek over James' shoulder, but James had already folded the piece of paper and was hurriedly attaching it to Pallas, his owl.
"Writing to sweetheart are we?" drawled Sirius. It was no secret that Sirius never approved of Lily.
Remus and Peter came over. "Lay off him, Padfoot; he hasn't seen her in weeks," said Remus, before taking a large bite out of a raw, skinned rabbit.
They all tried to hide their disgust. Remus looked apologetic. "Sorry I'm so unbearable," he said, "I haven't…"
Sirius shook his head. "'Salright, mate."
James was silent. He hated lying to his friends, especially about Lily. They were, like the rest of the Wizarding world, under the impression that Lily and James were star-struck lovers. Sirius would take it alright if he found out, but Remus and Peter? They both liked Lily. He had to steer off the subject as quickly as he could. But before James could utter a word, Sirius sat beside him and stretched, asking, "How'd dear Lilykins react when you told her you'd be commander?"
Remus, through his mane of matted hair and sharp teeth, looked concerned. "Did she cry a lot?"
James and Sirius snorted. Sirius got up and did an imitation of Lily's stance. "No, love, don't leave me," he said, in a surprisingly good imitation of Lily's bored, monotone voice. "I'll die without you. Woe is me."
Remus tried not to grin. James sighed and replied, "No, actually she yelled at me for a bit and sent me off with a death wish."
Remus, Sirius and Peter laughed. "Nice one, James," squeaked Peter.
"I'm not joking."
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Mate, even I find that hard to believe."
James did not feel so well. Every mention of Lily was a stab in the heart.
"Then you don't know Lily Potter," he muttered to himself. Walking off, he went to vent his emotions on Death Eater dummies.
SSS
Alice Longbottom took a sip from the teacup and sat back on the couch. She surveyed the room quietly and was absorbed into a painting of a meadow next to the window.
Lily sat next to her, writing on a piece of parchment furiously. An owl lazily perched on her shoulder, every once in a while digging into Lily's bun with its beak. She took no notice.
"There," snarled Lily, folding up the parchment and attaching it to the owl's feet. "I hope the Minister's happy."
As the owl flew away, Lily turned to apologize to Alice.
"I'm so sorry, it just that—"
But before Lily could get the words out of her mouth, another owl swooped in through the window. Lily's hand twitched toward her wand, hoping to jinx the owl to Kingdom Come. She stopped herself when she noticed it was James' owl, Pallas.
"Isn't that James' owl?" Alice asked, "Must be important."
Wordlessly, Lily grabbed the parchment to the leg. She'd been hoping, weeks on end…
As she read the letter, her spirits sank. It was as she feared. Strictly business and impersonal. Was there a twinge of sadness and longing in Lily's heart? Maybe…
"Is he alright?" asked Alice, reading over her shoulder. Alice tittered at the post-script. "I guess he is. His humor is alive and well, anyway."
Lily folded the letter and put it in her pocket.
She shouldn't ask it, but her curiosity got the better of her. Lily asked tentatively, "Alice, what did you do when Frank left for war?"
"Oh, I couldn't stop him, not with that determined look in his eye. I tried to persuade him to take me with him. You should have seen his face," Alice paused, ginning, lost in the memory. "Then he said in that romantic voice, 'Alice, love, if I lose you, my world would be meaningless.'."
Alice smiled at Lily, embarrassed. "He's so hopeless sometimes."
Lily tried to smile back, but James' angry face floated in front of her. Her stomach took a dive. She shouldn't have asked Alice; Lily felt worse than before.
"So I cooked his favorite meal, we made love and then he left…I cried myself to sleep days after that," Alice said, her voice unsuccessfully suppressing the raging emotions. Alice's eyes filled with tears.
"I'm sorry," murmured Lily. Both women sat in silence. Lily was thinking how casually Alice had said "made love"…
"So what happened when James left?" asked Alice, wiping her eyes, "You two are the perfect couple. How'd you handle it?"
Lily froze. Alice was one of the few people Lily truly trusted. She hated lying to Alice, especially about James.
"Er," stammered Lily, "Well, um…he….actually…"
Alice gave a knowing nod. "Ah. I see."
Lily's insides froze. Lily, with wide eyes, looked at Alice.
"What—?"
"Well it's obvious, isn't it? Everybody knows you two have wonderful tantric se—"
The door banged and the whole house seemed to respond. Lily's Death Eater Alarm had gone off. A siren, one long wailing sound was reverberating off the walls and into Lily's ears. The door was blasted down and Bathilda Bagshot stood in the doorway with an anxious McGonagall behind her.
"Lily! Alice! To the shelter! We're under attack!"
SSS
Reviews. Reviews.
Anybody see Order of the Phoenix in theatres? The films are getting darker, aren't they? I predict by the time Deathly Hallows rolls around, all we'll have is a black screen with voices.
I understand this chapter was not as progressive as the other one. This chapter is only a bridge into the next one.