The weight of my own decision weighed heavily on me. Of course I'd chosen to keep it, I don't think I could have chosen otherwise. I'm just worried about what Severus will think, do or say. I know he doesn't like kids but….. he loves me so surely he will love his baby.
I don't think the full moon has done anything to it… it.. It sounds harsh. Them… yes that sounds a bit better. Since I am four months gone, guess that explains what happened last full moon. According to Pads I just licked my stomach making strange "growling" noises. Oh god…. Pads.
I'll have to explain that I'm pregnant to him too! Oh god… he'll probably burst into laughter and tell me something like "it's a pity you got knocked up." Or something else Sirus like and stupid. I don't even want to think about telling James, Peter and Lily.. Merlin that'll be a nightmare!
I'm pretty sure I'll have to tell my parents too. I'll kill them of shock!
"Oh Merlin why couldn't I just be a woman. Then this would be so much simpler and normal." I muttered opening the front door
Orion was happy to meet me. I gave him a 'I'm not in the mood' growl and continued walking. I need to get a pair of pants that fit…. Sev's pants are tight. I went straight to the fridge yanking out all the raw meat, cookie dough (?), celery (I hate celery… why celery?), vanilla ice cream and sour cream… with onions…. Stupid cravings.
It took me a good bit of time to remember why Severus wasn't home… Damn Death Eater meeting. That's another thing I'm going to bring a baby into the world in a war…. That's not exactly a good environment to grow up in…..
Oh well. I've made my choice. I can't and won't take it back. I refuse to abort my child…. My child…. More like my pup… Technically it's a pup…. Since I'm a werewolf it's my pup even if it isn't a Lycan.
I found nothing to amuse myself with and actually went to bed.
Moony sat in front of me, his nose up to mine. "Oi down." I snarled and he backed off. "Are you excited?" He asked looking over me his tail thumping the ground the pure image of excitement
"Excited about what?" I asked "Being a mum of course! Bearing a pup!" he sang nosing my stomach gently, I shoved him off. "Of course. But I wouldn't call myself a mum." I replied a lot more relaxed, the last time I met Moony in a dream he attacked me… he showed no sign of doing this now… slightly comforting.
"Do you think Sev- er our mate will accept me and the pup?" I asked He gave a short guffaw "Of course he will! People are like that, they always want kids and are always excited about their mate having them. It's a human thing." Moony replied his tongue lolling out of his mouth
Mutt.
I gave a small yawn as Severus slipped into bed beside me, obviously wincing as he woke me up. He snuggled up against me "Did you find out what's wrong with you?" He asked and I tensed a bit "Yes." (totally the truth no lies there!)
"Well would you care to enlighten me on what you have?" he asked "Umm…. I'm not actually sure how to say this Sev…." I muttered and he sat up looking worried "You're not dying ar-are you?" He stammered looking over me "No… but my risk of dying has gone up increasingly." I whispered
"Well for Morgana's sake Remus, spit it out!" He snarled putting his hands on his hips
I took a deep breath "I'm four months pregnant." And I closed my eyes tightly throwing the bed sheets over my head so I couldn't see whatever emotion was on Sev's face.
...
Sorry the whole first three chapters are so fast... But I really want to get to the good stuff and its like 1:00 am in the morning so my writing skills aren't at their best.