Author's Note: Let Me start by saying sorry. I promised quick updates, but was unable to give them once I started an internship. Was rarely home and when I did have free time I was trying to see my family. Regardless, I apologize. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Working on Chapter 22 and its already 14 pages. Hope you'll enjoy it. Story's almost over. Thanks to everyone who kept reading and writing reviews. Love Ya. Anyway, Updates might be difficult because of school now, but this story will be finished. So here we go...

Lovin' It,

LILY

Want You to Want Me

Chapter 20: Nothing's Fine, I'm Torn

When we last saw our teens, everyone was winding down after a battle against Control Freak. That is except for two titans. One of them was pushed up against the wall, while the other held them there, and no, I'm talking about Robin and Starfire.

"Speedy, get off me!"

"Leave her alone!"

"If you want to talk, back off!"

"No!"

"I asked you nicely," was all Robin said before grabbing hold of Speedy's arm and twisting around so that now Speedy was the one pushed up against the wall. "But you had to do things the hard way."

"Let me go!"

"Not till you can calm down." Speedy could only glare at Robin who now pushed him against the wall the same way he had pushed Robin against it only a moment ago. He didn't like this one bit and decided that it would be best to just relax and try to calmly talk to the team leader. So he nodded and Robin, ever so cautiously, released him. The glared at each other, only a few feet apart. They both wanted more than anything in the world to beat the crap out of the other, but they were controlling themselves. Or struggling to control themselves. Either way, as they breathed in and out heavily thy glared, hoping that their glare was enough to show their anger and hate for the teenaged superhero standing across from him.

"So…you gonna explain what your problem is or am I gonna have to beat it out of you?"

"My problem is you."

"Well, what a coincidence. Cause my problem happens to be you as well."

"Listen smart ass, back off okay?"

"First let me thank you for the compliment, and second, let me ask what the hell you're talking about?"

"You backing off!"

"If you want me to back off, I would if only I knew what it is that you want me to back off of."

"Starfire." Robin looked at him with wide eyes. "Isn't that obvious?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said while turning away and walking towards the elevator buttons.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. So just give up. Starfire and I are together. And if you really want her that bad, you can have her when I'm done."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Do you really think that I'm going to stay with her forever? I'm sixteen! I don't plan on getting married for a very long long time!"

"You jerk. How can you treat her like this?"

"Easy. She's hot and I want her. So get over it. You've got your own girlfriend. Or have you forgotten?" There was a pause. Robin only looked down then back up towards Speedy.

"Look. There's nothing going on. Relax," he said while pushing the up button. As the door opened and he walked on he continued, his back towards Speedy, "You really just need to unwind. And rethink hurting her." And as he pushed the button for what floor he wanted he looked at Speedy one last time. "Oh, and by the way. If you attack me or anyone else again, and that includes Starfire…you're out of here. And out of Titans East. Later." The doors closed.

"So I talked to Galfore."

"Great," was Beastboy's only reply while fiddling with his PSP. Boredom was the only way to describe Beastboy's current state. Raven was great, really, but lately she was completely obsessed with Robin and Starfire.

"Well he said," she continued while digging through her closet, "he'll be here tomorrow. Batman's taken care of where to keep him and his royal company and he'll be at the party."

"Wonderful."

"Is that sarcasm I sense?"

"No. Never."

"Good. Well. We'll be rid of Summer soon enough and Birdbrain and Starfire will finally stop making us all barf with their game of footsies and we'll be relieved of everything annoying."

"Rae, not that this isn't all extremely interesting, but could we talk about something else."

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Anything else."

"What's your problem?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired of talking Robin and Starfire all the time. The subject has gotten so old. And it's taking over our lives. Consuming our every spare moment. Sooner or later we might become Robin and Starfire."

"Funny BB. And sorry. We can talk about something else."

"Finally," he said under his breath.

"So…Speedy's turning out to be a real jerk. Huh?"

"Raven!"

"What? I didn't say one word about Robin and/or Starfire."

"Yeah, but that's where that was going. Look I'll see ya later. I've gotta talk to Cy."

"Oh. Okay."

"Later," he said, walking right pass her without the normal kiss on the cheek. He exited the room and as the doors shut and he sprinted down the hall Raven could only say, "Later."

That night at dinner the Titans were having relationship problems. Summer, who was spending the night, again (God, does she ever go home?) was sitting at the table eyeing Starfire. Starfire was eyeing Speedy. Speedy was eyeing Robin. Robin was eyeing Starfire. Raven was eyeing Beastboy, while Beastboy eyed the current situation of the other four titans with a smile, finding it amusing as he ate his pasta.

Yup, everyone was having relationship issues. That is except for our good old pal Cyborg. Speaking of Cyborg, um, where is he? Oh here he comes. Right to dinner…late, and talking on that phone again. Well, actually, more like yelling on the phone.

"I said on Friday!" he yelled into his arm. Then listened.

"No! No! No! That is what I have been saying the whole time!"

Listening.

"Fine! Not my problem!"

Listening.

"Whatever!" And with that he slammed the little phone on his arm shut. And so hard that he hurt his own arm.

"Pure genius," was Raven's comment. Cyborg only glared, snatched a plate, sat down and began to eat.

Silence consumed the table. It was deeply uncomfortable. That is until Speedy stood up and said, "excuse me for a sec." Oh yes, this meal was extremely eventful.

"Um, Star?"

"Yes Robin? Why are we whispering?"

"Can I see you later?"

"Well…" as she continued to speak to Robin, Speedy entered the room and became very interested in their conversation. He said nothing. He only eyed the two. Meanwhile Starfire was trying to think. She couldn't keep seeing Robin and Speedy like this. But she wanted to see Robin again, really. But if Speedy found out it would break his heart.

"Sure. When?" she asked a little more lowly than before.

"Um, how bout an hour?"

"Okay."

"So what are you guys talking about?" Speedy asked rather loudly, gaining the attention of the entire table, even Summer who had been immersed in her beauty magazine.

"Nothing that concerns you," was Robin's sharp reply.

"Well, since you're talking to my girlfriend I think that it does concern me."

"Think again," was Raven's chance to jump in.

"Raven, I don't think they were talking to you."

"Good observation Beastboy. Here's another, I wasn't talking to you either."

"God Raven what's your problem?"

"Nothing besides the fact that you've been blowing me off for metal man over here."

"Hey, I've been on the phone, so if you can't control your boyfriend maybe it has nothing to do with me. Maybe it's your fault Raven. Or are you above fault now? Cause I missed that memo!"

"Listen here you robot reject-"

"Hello! I was talking to Robin! This has nothing to do with any of you!"

"And my conversations with Starfire have nothing to do with you!"

"Neither do your get togethers," Raven said under her breath, gaining the attention of a now outraged Starfire.

"What is your problem friend Raven!"

"Nothing other than the fact that she's ignoring her own boyfriend and obsessed with you and your love life."

"I am not."

"So Goth dork, you have a crush on her, huh?"

"Man, not everyone's an angry lesbian like you, Summer!"

"Well, Tin man, Miss Cleo must be if she's crushing on Starfreak!"

"Summer! How many times do I have to tell you…Her name is not Starfreak! It's Starfire! Starfire!"

Silence. All eyes on Robin, who was now standing. Summer looked terrified. She had never had anyone yell at her like that. It was unnerving. But she wasn't alone. Everyone looked slightly frightened.

"Look, maybe we all need a good night's sleep and to just relax tomorrow. No required gym time, okay?" And with that Robin was up and moving out into the darkness. As usual. Dinner was over.

It had been forty-five minutes since the dinner table incident and Starfire and Speedy were still arguing in her bedroom.

"I just wanted to know what you were talking about!"

"Nothing that concerned you just as he stated! Why are becoming so paranoid, Roy?"

"Maybe because my own girlfriend who doesn't even touch me anymore is always running off with the little boy wonder!"

"This conversation is pointless!"

"Good Raven impression, but we're not done!"

"I am not discussing this anymore."

"Yes, you are."

"No I am not. And in case you didn't know there is nothing you can do about that. You aren't my master."

"Listen princess, if we're going to get anywhere we need to spend time with each other."

"I am aware of that."

"Then why do you spend all of your time with him?"

"Because…"

"Because why?"

"Because…" 'I love him.' "I don't know." Speedy sat on the edge of the bed, starting to realize that maybe she wasn't worth all of this. But then he looked at her again and pictured Robin's disgusted face and decided against leaving now. All he needed was Robin to back off and focus on his relationship.

As he thought about this, with his head in his hands, Starfire sat next to him and sighed. She then began to quietly ask, "Roy?"

"Yeah?" he never took his head out of his hands.

"D…Do you love me?" His head shot up and he turned to face her. He didn't know how to react. Or how to respond for that matter. He didn't love her. He knew that for sure. But he wanted her. And he wanted to piss Robin off more at this point. He began to rub her back and gave the best performance of his life.

"Baby, of course I love you."

"And you would never leave me?"

"Never. Starfire, I love you." And then he took his chance. He put his free hand on her face and pressed his lips to hers, roughly. She struggled a little, because she was not expecting that, but he held her face.

And just as he slipped his tongue in…

"Starfire! I really need to talk to you about us and…" Robin had come in and stopped dead in his tracks when he looked up and saw the couple making out on the bed. And for the first time in a very long time, he felt like he could just cry.

Finally the two on the bed broke apart, Speedy behind Starfire, looking satisfied, Starfire looking distraught and if she had just been caught with her hands in the cookie jar.

"Robin…"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I, um, the door was open and I just came in. I should have knocked."

"Yeah, man. But now that you're here, what did you come here for?"

"Oh," he looked at Speedy who put his hand on Starfire's back and massaged it slowly, a smirk creeping to his face. He knew exactly what Speedy was thinking, 'Is this what you meant by unwinding Robin?' He closed his eyes and then continued, "That. It was nothing," he said causing Starfire to look at him with sympathy, "really," he finished in little more than a whisper.

"I gotta go."

"Robin wait." Starfire shot up.

"Baby, let him go."

"I cannot." She escaped Speedy's grip and left her bedroom searching the dark halls for evidence of which way Robin went. She finally saw him pass under a light down the corridor and flew as quickly as possible to him.

"Robin, wait."

He continued to walk.

"Please, just wait one minute."

He stopped.

"What?"

"I am sorry."

"Good." He continued to walk.

"Well pardon me Robin, but he is my boyfriend, regardless of how I feel." He turned and looked at her with anger and shock, the same emotions she was feeling and conveying with her face as well.

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I understand that it must have hurt to see what you just did-"

"-Damn right it did-"

"-But, he is my boyfriend. You came into my room without knocking and you have judged me without allowing me to even explain."

"I think you already have. Okay?"

"No, I have not."

"Then go ahead!"

"I will not speak to you when you are acting like this!"

"Acting like what?"

"You know exactly what I mean!"

"Whatever."

"Don't whatever me. I am still talking to you."

"Fine. Talk. Tell me why I just saw what I saw."

"I told you already, he is my boyfriend."

"So you just kiss me when he's busy?"

"It is not like that and you know it."

"Then what is it like?"

"You…this conversation has no point. At all."

"No explain to me one time, Star. I'm listening. Really."

"He came over. He and I argued…about you. And I defended you. And then he said he loved me." Robin snorted at this. "Then he…he kissed me."

"And you kissed back?"

"What was I supposed to do? He's my-"

"-Your boyfriend. I know. You keep saying that. But that's no excuse."

"How? You kiss that that Summer girl, don't you? Probably every chance you get…"

"Actually, just to clear things up, I don't. Haven't since, well, like Monday."

"Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'."

He started to walk away, but she stepped in front of him.

"So? What do you want from me? I love you. Okay? He loves me too. And I…"

"You love him too?"

"I…I…don't know."

"You don't know. When will you know?"

"Look, I have feelings for him, okay. And while it may seem easy to leave someone, it is not. You will have problems leaving Summer. I doubt you would just say goodbye because you love me. It's difficult. I cannot just leave Roy. I cannot just because you asked me."

"You know, I don't think it's hard at all. I'll admit that sometimes I feel like I really like Summer, but I think about you and…and I don't need her anymore. I realize that I never did."

He began to walk past her. She turned around to face him and whispered.

"It's not supposed to be like this."

"How is it supposed to be then?"

He was met with no answer. Just her emerald eyes brimming with salt water. He began to walk again, but stopped and turned to her and said, "Oh, and just for the record, all you had to do was ask and Summer would be gone. Even before you told me you loved me." The brimming tears pushed farther to edge of her green eyes. He turned and walked down the hall. Away from her and back into darkness. He was alone in the dark again, just as he had been when he came to her.

"I did not even want to kiss him," she whispered. She sunk her head. The tears were escaping now. But she did not cry out. She thought that Robin was the one for her, but it seemed now that she had just lost him because of yet another stupid mistake. If only she had locked the door. If only she had told him it was him from day one. If only she had asked…

She turned, head down and slowly returned to her room only to collide with a human form. She looked up and her salty eyes met his angry ones.

"Roy…"

"Well, at least you know my name."

"Roy, I…"

"You what?"

"I…I don't know."

"You don't know. I guess I should be happy that my girlfriend didn't run off with the guy who just told her he loved her, but I'm not."

"Roy what you have to understand is…"

"I don't have to understand anything. I mean, you didn't even want to kiss me."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"Then how was it meant to sound?"

"I don't know."

"Well, you can think about it. Alone. Later." And with that he was gone, down the opposite direction of the hall leaving Starfire to finally let her tears flow freely, saying loudly, "It wasn't supposed to be like this." And it wasn't. In her mind they were both supposed to be happy and loving and willing to do anything. They were supposed to be begging her to pick them. She was supposed to be able to choose whomever. Not pray for forgiveness. She went into her room and this time she remembered to lock the door.

And Wednesday night became Thursday morning, leaving many upset and relationships falling apart. Beastboy lying alone in his bed, wishing that Raven cared about him; Raven meditating, trying to control her emotions, wishing Beastboy still cared; Cyborg ignoring every call from his girlfriend; Speedy sitting on his bed, trying to understand how Robin was winning; Summer contemplating her next move; Robin sitting alone in the evidence room, working on a case, attempting to work through his pain and erase those memories; and Starfire, sitting on her bed crying. Not understanding what she did wrong. Feeling terrible. Wanting Robin, wanting Roy too. She decided that tomorrow she would pretend like everything was fine. Like nothing had happened. Like none of it hurt. She could then make a decision. But right now, a decision seemed impossible because she loved them both. She was completely torn between the two. And she didn't know how to pretend like everything was fine. Because everything wasn't fine. Everything was falling apart. It wasn't supposed to be like this. And so she whispered between tears, "Nothing's fine. I'm torn."