Disclaimer: I do not own anything in relation to Dr. Who, anything related to Disney, any fairy tales or the Robin Hood Archery in Palm Springs that I found listed in a travel book.
I just wanted to still be able to take you to places of myth and legend and without a TARDIS, this is the best that I can do. :)
The mention of the Doctor's dart skills is from Blast To The Past Chapter 7.
"Yup," declares the Doctor with a popped p as he stares dreamily at the ceiling, "definitely better than a new license plate!"
"I told you so!" sing-songs Rose in smug satisfaction before bursting into a fit of giggles. She snuggles into his side as he moves one of his arms from behind his head to place it around her side. "Have I told you how much that I love this place?"
The Doctor bears a conceited smile of his own and places a kiss atop of her head before answering. "Well, once I read the brochure, I knew that I couldn't possibly find a better place for my pink and yellow Bad Wolf!" He offers her a rueful smile as she gazes up at him. "Besides, if I couldn't give you a fairytale wedding than I could at least give you a fairytale resort for a honeymoon."
Rose is suddenly jostled into a sitting position when the Doctor unexpectedly rises to prop himself up on his elbows and ask excitedly, "And did you take in everything at that gift shop? We have to go back there; you know how much I love a little shop!"
She casts a glance over to her newly purchased Red Riding Hoodie draped across the back of one of the armchairs and casually inquires, "Oh, you mean the one that's called 'The Stuff of Legends'?" She laughs as she draws him down to her for a quick kiss. "Yeah, I saw everything and it was perfect for our first stop here." She drops back onto the bed and cuddles into the Princess and Pea Pleasant Dreams mattress and sighs softly. "Perfect just like everything else today."
"Yes," agrees the Doctor, "Jackie and Pete really did an outstanding job. We'll have to find a way to thank them." Suddenly and without any warning, the Doctor rolls over on top of Rose and pins her to the mattress and waggles his eyebrows suggestively. "I know, how about starting on those grandchildren that Jackie wants so desperately?"
"Or…" poses Rose as she distracts him with a kiss before firmly flipping him onto his side, "how about you tell me all about this lovely resort that you've brought me to?"
The Doctor attempts one last pucker until Rose shakes her head while placing two fingers across his lips. "Fine," he mumbles resignedly before admitting defeat, "have it your way, but little Murgatroyd or Allons-y will never be born before next Christmas at this rate!"
Rose stares at her husband in awe. "I'm not even going to speculate on which name is for the girl."
He stares back at her completely dumbfounded. "Rose, obviously Murgatroyd is for our little girl. Otherwise, how else would it sound when I give our son the middle name of Alonzo? Allons-y Murgatroyd just doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?"
Rose offers a weak smile as she begins to sit up against the headboard and gestures for him to do the same. Murgatroyd and Allons-y? Wow. She shakes her head as if to clear it. "So, tell me about this magic castle that we're currently residing in."
"Well for starters, it's not a magic castle and definitely not the Magic Castle." He releases a snort of disgust. "The last thing that I want to do is hear about Mickey every moment of our honeymoon."
He reaches over and lifts his glasses off the bedside table, along with a brochure, and plops them onto his face as Rose eyes him in wonder. "What?" he questions as she continues to scrutinize his face with a slight smile. "What is it?"
"Oh, nothing really, I suppose," she muses as she continues her examination. "It's just that for as long as I've known you, for all of your talk of a superior biology, it just surprises me that even as half human, you still actually need these to see properly," she finishes as she taps the lenses of his glasses.
He leans away from her finger before pushing it away and answering stiffly. "It's not an indication of weakness, Rose; it's merely a physical condition! If you must know, it's a trait that I've carried throughout all of my regenerations!" He holds his wrist up as an example. "Remember when I regenerated and I told you about the slight weakness in my dorsal tubercle? Well that instance happened to be a new occurrence but of course when it comes to regeneration, you never know what you're going to get. I mean look at my granddaughter, Susan, her first body had severely weak ankles. She could barely carry out an adventure without injuring herself, poor thing."
"Now, quit putting me off and let's decide our plan of action, shall we? Hmmm, let's see…," he clucks his tongue against the roof of his mouth while he peruses the brochure again and plans out all of their options. "What should we do first?"
Rose peeks over his shoulder and her eyes light up in delight at the various choices and activities listed before her. She points her finger at the first listing that catches her eye and exclaims, "This looks like fun! Why don't we-"
"Nope! My idea's better!" he speedily assures her as he snatches the small booklet away from her view. "After all, I was the one who found the resort and booked our stay here so it's only fair that I should be allowed first pick."
Rose huffs in annoyance before conceding to him. "Alright, fine, that does sound fair." She lets loose with her tongue in teeth smile when his victorious smirk quickly falls away when she adds, "Now hurry up and pick so that I can choose something that we'll actually enjoy."
"I can assure you, Rose Tyler-Smith, that we will enjoy anything that I happen to select for our first adventure," he declares haughtily. He straightens out the brochure into a full size map of the resort with a sharp snapping motion. "I hope that you won't argue like this in front of the children."
"Oh heaven forbid," mocks Rose with an eye roll. "And it's Smith." He gazes back at her, confusion written all over his face. "It's Rose Smith now, remember?" Before he can interrupt her with yet another protest on her chosen surname, "Yes, I know you prefer Tyler or at the very least, Tyler-Smith, but honestly, Doctor, do you really want to fight about it on our honeymoon?" When he shakes his head no, she urges, "Well, come on then, Mastermind, what's your great plan?"
He peers down at her over the rim of his glasses and smugly replies, "After Cinderella serves us our breakfast in bed tomorrow morning, we are going to the Beauty & The Beast Spa for Ladies and Gentlemen." He taps the map at a particular location and shares, "They have several facilities that we can partake in to enjoy a leisurely day of luxury and relaxation. You can start your day off in the Rapunzel Hair Salon and that should take what, a few hours?" Ignoring her sticking her tongue out at him, he blithely continues, "By that time we should be able to enjoy a sea weed wrap or take a swim in The Little Mermaid Lagoon, enjoy a few nibbles from the Gingerbread Man Bakery or cold treats from the Snow Queen Ice Cream Shoppe, and lest we forget our last stop, the Sleeping Beauty Massage Parlor."
He leans back into his pillow with a delightful sigh. "Can't you simply picture it, Rose? "Imagine just lying there, all stretched out with nowhere to go and nothing to do but relax and enjoy yourself while all your worries and stiffness just melt away under the skilled hands of a masseuse." Rose's gaze becomes slightly dreamy as she envisions such a scenario while the Doctor's gaze suddenly becomes more considerate as if he's pondering a puzzle. "Rose, my love?"
"Yes, Doctor?" she asks with a slight trace of concern.
"Would you mind if I take the first appointment?" he inquires with a hopeful gaze.
Rose merely stares at him for a beat before giggling softly. "Of course not, Doctor. In fact, it's just as you said, you should be allowed to go first." A huge grin breaks out across his face until she mentions, "And besides, you can make it up to me when you take me shoe shopping at the Puss in Boots Shoe Shoppe."
"A shoe shopping trip with a Tyler woman?" groans the Doctor before grimacing. "Not exactly the activity that I had in mind."
Rose curls her hands like a cat and asks, "Oh, I'm sorry, love. Do you have to paws to think about it? Because if you decide that you don't want to accompany me so that you can assist me with all of my packages, I may just have to give you the boot."
He groans again while pulling his pillow over his face. She tugs on the pillow to pull it away from his face. "Oh come on, that was funny!"
"That was not funny," insists the Doctor firmly, his face practically beaming when he spies a listing in the corner of his eye, "but this is!" He taps the map to indicate The Aged Mother Tea Room for O.A.P.s. "See? A tea room for old age pensioners, there's bound to something there that we can find for Jackie!"
"How considerate of you, love," notes Rose a little too sweetly. "I'll be sure to tell her that you said that."
"Then I'll be sure to tell her what happened to her 1500 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets when we took a slight detour into her linen closet during the last Vitex party!" returns the Doctor smoothly.
Eyes wide at her husband's threat and knowing that he would have no qualms about following through on it, Rose immediately squeaks, "Truce!" while holding her hand out for a handshake.
"Truce," agrees the Doctor as he shakes her hand. Turning their attention back to the map, he suggests, "What about here? The concierge said that The Little Red Riding Hood Gift Shoppe sells the most amazing gift baskets. I bet that we could find something suitable for your mum and Donna there."
His eyes take on a knowing gleam as he points to The Stonecutter Jewelry Store. "Or maybe we could find something here for you? Say a nice little trinket or two as a keepsake from our honeymoon?"
The Doctor is astounded when Rose simply shakes her head as if the jewelry store holds no interest for her at all. "Rose Tyler," he begins questioning suspiciously, before instantly holding up his hands in surrender to delay her correction, "Smith, alright…are you seriously telling me that we can skip that? Why? Don't you have even one iota of curiosity as to what they have?"
"Nope," she denies firmly while mimicking him popping the p as she waves the hand bearing her wedding ring under his gaze. "I have all the jewelry that I need to remember our honeymoon right here." He smiles brilliantly at her. "That is for the time being mind you."
His brow furrows in deep thought as he speedily calculates his current income with varying pay rises over the years for upcoming anniversaries."For the sake of a happy marriage and my wallet, I hope that the time being will last for a few more years yet."
"Why?" Rose asks laughingly as she taps a particular area of the map. "Are you afraid that we're going to end up in The Adventures of Pinocchio Couples Counseling?" She snorts in amusement. "I'll bet that there are some real liars in there."
"Well, nobody knows for sure, Rose," he jests while he tapping his own nose to indicate his pun.
"And you have the nerve to criticize my sense of humor?" demands Rose completely straight-faced.
The Doctor pulls a face and then returns to scanning the map. "Now this is something that's worth looking into! The Golden Goose Casino! We could go in and see if we have the Midas touch."
"True, or we could stay away and avoid becoming the Prince and the Pauper," advises sagely.
"I thought that was the real reason that we were avoiding the jewelry shop. Although, Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves should be listed on this map too, you wouldn't believe what this place costs." She bumps his shoulder playfully in admonishment. "And I'll have you know that I'm quite skillful at games of chance as well as games of dexterity. You'll have a chance to witness my prowess tomorrow afternoon when we visit the Robin Hood Archery Center."
"Are your archery skills as impressive as your skill at darts?" she questions shrewdly.
"Now that's just mean, Rose," grouses the Doctor.
"Awww," teases Rose has she pokes at his face with her finger until he grabs it, "now don't be such a pouty face. Here, we'll go to the Hansel and Gretel Candy Shoppe as soon as it opens, that should cheer you up! Hmmm, it's very authentic; it even looks like the outside of the evil witch's house from the story."
The Doctor tuts in disgust as he recalls the fairytale. "Poor witch, I'm on her side. Not only has it taken her a lifetime to build a work of delectable edible art, but the children, as lost as they may have been, were literally trying to eat her out of house and home. I know that I'd be in a right state if someone had tried to nibble on my TARDIS."
Noting her unsympathetic gaze, he sniffs indignantly while adjusting his glasses. "Han would understand where I'm coming from, he's very protective of the Millennium Falcon." He pauses to consider their newlywed friends for a moment. "You know, he never did tell me where they were going for their honeymoon." He looks a bit sad as he queries, "Do you think that we'll ever see them again?"
Rose makes a great show of straightening the bed covers as she casually replies, "I thought that with you being a Time Lord that the answer would be obvious." He remains silent as he gazes back at her expectantly until she finally relents and answers in a somber tone. "Only time will tell."
The Doctor groans, "Rose, that was worst than your last joke," but then laughs aloud just the same.
"Sorry, I couldn't resist," she insists with a huge grin. "And you can relax, Leia told me that they were going to Legoland."
"Really?" asks the Doctor as he straightens up in surprise. "What made them decide to go there?"
"Well, they thought it would be best," remarks Rose off-handedly. "With all of the kids around, they figured that they could always freeze and pretend to be regular action figures if they were spotted. Besides, I hear that Legoland has this huge Millennium Falcon so they should feel right at home."
As she watches him, she instantly recognizes the exact moment of anticipation that shines in his eyes when he's about to begin a new adventure and step out into the unknown. He's about to open his mouth to speak when Rose promptly holds up her hand in protest. "Forget it, Doctor, we're staying here. Call me barmy, but I'd rather stay in a luxury fairytale resort for my honeymoon than travel out of country to see the Lego house that Jack built." Rolling her eyes in annoyance at his instant pout, she seeks to soothe him by promising, "We can go there on our next holiday."
Attempting to belay his actual glee, the Doctor forces his expression into a more serious mask and proclaims, "Only if that's what you truly want, Rose. You know me, I'm very easy to please and I only ever want what's best for you. Your considerations and heart's desires always come first with me."
A feeling of nervousness overcomes the Doctor as Rose's brow furrows as she studies him carefully before flipping him over onto his stomach and running her hands up and down his back. "Um…Rose, love? What are you doing?"
"Looking for zippers," she murmurs indifferently as she continues her search. "You must be a Slitheen."
He turns back over to face his bride while wearing a scowl. "Ha, ha, very funny." Refusing to give her the satisfaction of being a sourpuss, he mentions, "I notice that you've made fast friends with Leia, sharing all of these little girly secrets."
Rose tilts her head and offers him a pointed stare as she divulges, "Well, we may have been raised with different upbringings, but we found that we were still able to find a common place." At this point, both her gaze and her tone become a bit harsher. "In other words, we both know what it's like to declare our love to a space travelling adventurer that we love more than anyone in the universe and then meet with less than great expectations at his response."
The Doctor's face remains completely neutral while inside he silently cringes. Oh bugger! He attempts to maintain his calm composure as he attests, "What an absolutely brilliant deduction the two of you have made! Yes, definitely, I agree one hundred percent; common ground is always the best way to make a connection. Brilliant, you two are!"
Rose merely offers a noncommittal hum while generously allowing her husband to hurriedly change the subject. She can bestow on him this one gift; it is their wedding day after all.
"So," he begins with a bit of a squeak, "did you know that you don't need to depend on the resort for all of your entertainment? Having traveled far and wide throughout time and space, I could easily regale you with tales of myth and legend, and not just human ones."
Rose gives a slight shake of her head as she links their hands and declares, "Tonight, I'm more concerned with our story rather than anyone else's."
"But Rose," protests the Doctor in a husky tone as he leans in closer to her, "this chapter of our story has only just begun."
While Rose uses their joined hands to tug him even closer to her, she brushes her lips against his with each murmured word the equivalent of a caress. "Then let's get started, shall we?"
And like any wise man and good husband, the Doctor quickly shut his gob and did as he was told.
THE END