Please don't say you love me 'cause I might not say it back, a homestuck fanfic

Saw the video had to make a fic for it. Love you guys. watch?v=92Qn_T4p8nk

-Kale

Be Dave Strider

Summer comes, winter fades
Here we are just the same
Don't need pressure, don't need change
Let's not give the game away

Your name is Dave Strider and you're currently at the park with your best bro. Your red converse hitting the mulch under said swing and allowing you sway gently. Your shades keeping your eyes hidden from the sun light still left over from the day as it was now late evening. You had spent the entire day with John and it felt so good. You were thrilled it was only Saturday. You still had the whole day tomorrow with him. And you wouldn't have it any other way.

There used to be an empty space
A photograph without a face
But with your presence, and your grace
Everything falls into place

It's kinda funny. You guys met over pesterchum and you guys kinda just hit it off and kept talking. You kinda fell for the dork then. Before you even knew what he looked like. That just proves that love doesn't involve looks. Right? Either way that was just a stupid crush that scared you a little bit. He could've been some creep and that kinda just...it was a thought you had troubling you for a wile but kinda always pushed it away. Anyway now that you've met him and know what he looks like you're scared shitless. He's beautiful. So fucking beautiful that it hurts. His eyes were like a fuckin' ocean that was capable of carrying you out to sea and drowning you. His smile...o god! You swore you've seen every tooth in his mouth. All thirty two of them! And it made you wanna smile. It was hard to keep that poker face you spent years working on when he smiled. It was ten- no twenty times worse when you were responsible for the smile. And his messy hair! Hell you took forever on yours and he woke up and it was perfectly messy that it made him so ugh! HE WAS PERFECT IN EVERY SINGLE WAY,SHAPE, AND FORM!

Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back
Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that
There's no need to worry when you see just where we're at
Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back

And you didn't know how to deal with this. Any of this! It was confusing and it hurt. "I'm not a homosexual, Dave!" John always said it and when he did you just wanted to cry. Tell him no, tell him to stop right there. And you'd kiss him. But you didn't have the guts to do that. And it killed you and then twice over. You wanted to be able to hold him in your arms, smother him with kisses. You wanted to spend the rest of your life with him so bad. And you couldn't do a thing about it. This brought tears to your eyes to the point that you faked a yawn.

"Dave? Dave, are you okay? I think you've started spacing out again...you do that a lot, don't you? It seems like you've always got something on your mind. Are you sure you're okay? You wanna talk about it Dave?" John's voice seemed to drift it's way into your thoughts and you snapped out of your trance.

"Hm? Oh yeah I'm fine." You replied to the derp hesitantly and this caused him to frown.

"Please tell me Dave! What's the matter?" He asked again and you really wanted to cave in.

"It's nothing I can put to words." You muttered trying to get the kid off of your back.

"Oh...umm...well shit." John said thinking that over as a silence devoured the two.

Heavy words are hard to take
Under pressure precious things can break
And how we feel is hard to fake
So let's not give the game away

You just nodded and got off the swing in a hasty manner. You walked off and over to the grass sitting down, pulling one leg up and resting your chin on it. Your hands meeting as they entwined around the leg that your chin rested on. Your black skinny jeans and dark red hoodie starting to fade into the dark and your pale skin illuminating in the sudden darkness. You finally looked up and noticed John running to you, slowing down the closer he got. Finally laying on the grass beside you. His hands folded neatly under his head and his feet crossed as he got comfy. "Daaaaave!" John whined. "That was uncool of you." He said in an attempt to get you to speak. "You can tell me anything, you know that right? So what's up?"

Dave merely groaned. 'I'd rather not discuss this John,' his mind screamed. 'Leave me alone John', 'It's not like you care john.' Or your personal favorite, 'Oh I'm sorry -A-Homosexual do you honestly want me to ruin our friendship and tell you that I'm in love with you, is that what you want John?' You took a deep breath calming yourself down.

"Dave...?" John trailed off nervously. You were just frustrated with yourself and you didn't know how to react to all of this. John was literally the best friend anyone could ask for. Honestly.

And fools rush in
And I've been the fool before
This time I'm gonna slow it down
'Cause I think this could be more
The thing I'm looking for

He was such a good person and he's never hurt anyone certainly not you, his best bro. But that was the problem! You were his best bro! Not his boyfriend or love interest. You seriously didn't wanna get hurt again. TZ took your heart stomped on it, set it on fire, and put the ashes in a blender, then went to go chill at Gamzee's house. You wanted him to know that you cared about him a lot but you also wanted him to care back. Was that selfish of you? Possibly, but you didn't care. You just loved the kid. You either had to tell him and risk everything or bottle it up and wait for him to go out with Rose or somebody. Sometimes you saw him flirting with her (although John usually was to oblivious to realize what he was doing). Her, your sister for Christ sake! But maybe...maybe that was the problem...maybe it was that she was well a she. And you were a guy. If you were a girl he'd have probably gone out with you by now. But you weren't. You were a guy and you were suddenly self conscious and hated who you were. You weren't good enough for him, for TZ, for anyone. This made you clench your fist and bite your lip to avoid tears. You soon found that this didn't help.

Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back
Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that
There's no need to worry when you see just where we're at
Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back

Please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back
Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping when you look at me like that
There's no need to worry when you see just where we're at
Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back

Suddenly everything hurt. Thinking about it, about him, about John! And you didn't want it to. You wanted it to just all be over and off your chest. And before you knew it it was. "Shit...John I fucking love you okay. And I'm sorry if that ruins everything or what ever. But I just thought you and your straight ass should know. Oh and have fun banging my sister." You said rather spitefully...which you didn't mean for. You didn't mean for it to come out at all.

Just please don't say you love me
'Cause I might not say it back

"Shit," you muttered. Your pale cheeks littered with freckles was now coloured pink.

"Dave...I...bang your sister?" John asked. This made you groan once more.

"Okay well fuck you too, John." You said as his reaction hurt you even more. You flipped him off before standing up and walking away.

"Dave no! Don't go!" John wailed. "Can't we at least talk about this?" He begged you.

"No John. We can't." You called not even turning back. "Congratufuckinglations you got it out of me." You continued walking away refusing to look back now. That was until you heard whimpering. This made you stop a bit still refusing to look back. Then there was sniffling.

"No Dave you can't go! You can't! Please don't go! Okay? Just stay. Please Dave?" He begged softly. Anyone else would've missed it. But you weren't just anyone. "I love you too, Dave." John said his voice a little louder than a whisper. This made you turn around and flash step to him. You tilted his chin up kissing the boy gently. John did not kiss him back his eyes just widened. You pulled away after a few seconds.

"You should've said something earlier you derp. Did you see any of that? That was hell. John Egbert you just put me through hell." You said sweetly, letting an actual smile grace your lips (a small one but a smile none the less). You moved your thumb across his cheeks and wiped the younger and smaller boys tears away.

"Y-you though that I wanted to bang Rose?" John asked you and that made your smirk widen even more.

"John...there are reasons why I love you. That right there was just one of them." You murmured into his hair that you were now surrounded in the scent of.

"Oh...really now? I would've thought you were too cool for a dork like me! Hehe." John said nervously and this caused you to get serious real fast. You took his hands in yours and pulled away shaking your head gently.

"No way John. You're better than everyone and anyone. More perfect than anyone alive. Even me, bro."

"Ha! Sure what ever Dave!" He said rolling his eyes.

"No I'm serious. And if anyone tells you different well that bitch better have a hell of a lot more then luck on their side. Hell they'll need a fuckin' army for insulting my dork. You got me?" You asked him softly. John smiled up at you, his blue eyes could seriously win in a contest with the ocean for beauty and blueness. He pecked your cheek in such a shy manner that your heart skipped a beat and started to thud in your chest.

"I love you too Dave." He murmured pressing his forehead against yours with his huge, derpy, but perfect grin.