A/N: Title for this chapter is of a song by Ritchie Valens. Thought it fit Lee perfectly in this part of the episode. ;) It would probably be helpful to watch S3E3. I didn't want to get bogged down typing out every last word they all said so I've tried to summarize as best I can.

Thanks for all the follows, reviews, and likes. Really a boost for the ego. ;D As always, constructive criticism is gladly welcomed.

Amanda had always thought the saying, "The silence is deafening," was somewhat absurd. It never made sense. How could silence be loud enough to make a person unable to hear anything? But this drive with Lee was making her a believer. The silence between them spoke more loudly and clearly than any words possibly could. Their usual easy flow of conversation was non-existent. The feeling between them was so tense, she wondered if she really could cut it with a knife.

She sighed inwardly. She didn't want to give Lee a chance to snap at her, and judging by the tension she felt rolling off him, he was ready to do just that. She tried to concentrate on the color of the fall leaves, count the number of yellow school busses they passed along the way, anything to keep her mind off the fact that she could feel Lee slipping away from her with every passing moment.

He was lying to her, to everyone at the office, and Amanda had no idea why. What was the big deal that he was dating again? He'd dated plenty of women in the past and never been ashamed. Why now?

Amanda didn't like the direction her thoughts were taking her. She could only imagine one reason Lee wouldn't want anyone to know he was dating.

'No,' she chastised herself internally. 'Lee is a lot of things, but not that.'

'Eva,' her thoughts whispered back to her.

Amanda again tried to stop the direction of her thoughts. Nearly two years ago when Lee's old lover had suddenly returned from the "dead" she'd suspected something was going on. One morning when Amanda had walked into the house she was helping Eva's husband, Angelo, settle into American life, she'd know something had happened between Lee and Eva. His ex-lover was wrapped comfortably in Lee's sweater. Amanda wasn't as clueless as Lee often thought she was. She could tell that Eva had taken on a level of possessiveness for Lee that was entirely inappropriate for a married woman. Even then she'd tried to convince herself that though Lee had a thing for the ladies, he drew the line somewhere. But maybe she'd been fooling herself. Maybe she didn't know her partner as well as she thought. Maybe she'd built up this myth in her mind, willing herself to believe she saw something different in him.

'Stop!' she internally yelled, closing her eyes and willing herself to focus on her job and what it was she needed to do for this Spring Cleaning project.

Opening the top file, she made to read it again, but the words were just a blur on the page. She couldn't focus on the information The Agency had so far on The Ladies Auxiliary of 'what-not.'

She ventured a side-long glance at Lee. His fists were wrapped tightly around the steering wheel, knuckles white. Though he seemed to be trying to keep up the appearance of relaxed by leaning back in his seat, Amanda knew him well enough to see the stress lines on his face. The way his jaw clenched and that vein in his neck started bulging were dead giveaways. Lee was more stressed than Amanda had seen him in a long while.

Slowly her feelings started to soften toward him and she became upset with herself for doubting him. What if he was telling the truth? What if it really was insomnia? What could cause him all that stress? She turned her body now to look at him more closely. He didn't seem to notice her gaze, which was very unusual for him. Now she started to worry. Maybe this woman he was dating was causing him problems. Lee was her friend and her partner, she should be looking out for him, not secretly pondering all the sins he could be committing.

"I'm sorry about your insomnia," Amanda spoke into the silence.

Lee's body flinched as he seemed to break out of a deep thought.

"What?" he asked, barely sparing her a glance.

"Your insomnia," Amanda said, trying not to react. "It must be difficult to do your job. Earlier you looked like you could fall asleep standing."

Lee took a moment to answer. He seemed to be having some sort of internal argument. The sight of him so distressed did nothing to ease Amanda's concerns.

Finally he said, "It's nothing, really."

"Not sleeping for four nights in a row doesn't seem like nothing," Amanda tried again.

Lee took another moment.

"Look, Amanda," he said, sounding agitated. "I don't really want to talk about it."

His words stung, and though she tried not to take them personally, she couldn't help but react by physically turning away from him to stare out the window.

The rest of the drive was spent in now painful silence. It was obvious to Amanda that Lee really didn't want to be with her.

Lee lowered himself onto the third step of the house staircase and listened as the Ladies Auxiliary of the Cosmic Cabal "channeled" Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper. Resting his elbows on his knees and his chin on his fists, he sighed a discontented sigh. He was supposed to be avoiding Amanda, not driving her all over town helping her with her work. This wasn't working out the way he'd planned at all.

Running his hands over his face, Lee tried to ignore the gnawing feeling inside him. He had been pretty rude to Amanda on the way over. She was only trying to be his friend, after all. His intent wasn't to put a strain on their relationship, just a bit of distance, just enough to get his ridiculous feelings out of his system.

As a very odd version of Chantilly Lace started up in the other room, Lee tried to think of something else, anything else. He hadn't decided on what to do for his date tonight. A movie did seem like a good idea. If he had known they'd be spending the morning with this group, he might have brought in a paper so he could check show times. Thinking of Leslie reminded Lee hat he needed to pick up his tux for the Russian Embassy. He wondered what Leslie would wear. He was sure it would be something simple and understated. She wasn't a flashy woman. He thought, for the first time in his life, that it must be a real pain to be a woman, at least as far as these parties went. He just wore a tux. His only question ever was if he should wear a colored tie and cummerbund.

As he thought about the dinner, he imagined himself dancing with Leslie. He smiled. She was a good dancer and he knew he would enjoy holding her closely. Leslie felt nice in his arms.

'Not right, though.'

Lee gritted his teeth and tried to control his traitorous thoughts. It would feel right, eventually. It just took time.

'It didn't take any time with Amanda.'

Lee stood abruptly and began to pace in the foyer. If his thoughts would just get in line with reality, things would be so much easier. If he could accept the reality that Amanda didn't want him, he could move on, and this struggle would be over.

The singing finally, mercifully ended and Lee could hear Amanda asking Jenny Weeks the questions The Agency had for groups like this. Soon they'd be done here and on to the next nut case. That thought didn't sit well with Lee. He needed to get away. This was a ridiculous waste of time anyway. Amanda could handle this easily.

Suddenly Lee thought up a plan. It would work perfectly, as long as Billy never asked Amanda if Lee had stuck around with her the entire day. He could send Amanda on after this visit was over. The other groups she had to see were all within walking distance and she could catch a cab back to the office. While she did that, he could run some errands. He could pick up his tux. And, now that he thought about it, maybe he could get a dress for Leslie for their Russian Embassy dinner. In the back of his mind he had a picture of a dress. It was perfect for her. If he could just remember where he'd seen it. Maybe Amanda would know where to find it if he described it to her. Then Lee remembered where he'd seen the dress. Amanda had worn it on their visit to the same place.

Lee wondered if this was really a good idea, after all. But, really, it would look perfect on Leslie. Amanda didn't need to know *where* Leslie would wear it. In fact, Amanda didn't need to know about Leslie at all. He could just say it was for a friend. And, Leslie was a friend, so he wouldn't technically be lying. He settled the matter in his mind as Amanda said her usual pleasant goodbyes to the Ladies Auxiliary.

As they walked down the front steps together Lee complained, "Well, we were in there 30 minutes."

"Well, we had to let them finish singing before we could fill out the questionnaire," Amanda replied, completely unruffled by the waste of time.

Lee groaned.

"You're pretty antsy," Amanda observed. "Got a date?"

"No," Lee paused briefly. "Just a little preoccupied, that's all."

"Well, if you want I can finish these off," Amanda told him. "There all close by."

"Are you sure?" Lee asked. It was as if she'd read his mind. But he refused to allow his thoughts follow the train they were immediately drawn to.

"Yeah," she told him as she smiled.

"Oh, that's great," he said. What a relief. Now for the more difficult part.

Lee decided to broach it in a friendly manner, reminding her of the evening last New Year's Eve. He knew she'd had a nice time, up until he passed out, at least.

They reminisced for a few moments before Lee got to the crux of the matter.

"You sure looked beautiful," he said, feeling that there was no reason not to. It wasn't like she'd take it the wrong way.

"Remember how we danced," he said. She smiled as she thought on that night and Lee shoved every feeling he had about it deep beneath his studied emotions.

He began to describe the dress to her, ignoring her beautiful smile and what it did to his insides. Finally, he asked her where she'd bought it.

"I made it, " she said.

Lee was disappointed. He really had thought Leslie would look so perfect in that dress.

"Aw, it's a one of a kind, huh?"

"Yes, it is," Amanda nodded.

"Darn it," Lee said. "You know, I wanted to get a present for a friend of mine, and I just think she'd look great in something like that."

Amanda's smile faltered and Lee started to wonder what he'd said that was so wrong. As she continued walking down the sidewalk to her next destination, Lee started to feel like he'd gone about that the wrong way. Maybe he should have just asked her straight up, not bringing up that night.

He turned and walked back to his car as he thought, 'Maybe she did take it the wrong way.'

Shaking his head as he walked around to the driver's side of the Corvette, he convinced himself that there was no way that could have happened. They were just friends, she would never be interested in more.

'Wouldn't she?' his thoughts asked him. 'Because she really looked like...'

Shoving that thought aside, Lee decided to do a little shopping before he picked up his tux. He might not have that dress, but he was sure he could find something close.

A few hours later, after he was sure it would look like he'd been with Amanda for most of the day, he returned to The Agency parking lot. He'd accomplished what he'd set out to do, which was mostly avoid Billy's wrath. He had found the perfect dress and had it sent to Leslie's hotel. He picked up his tux and had taken it home. Now he just had to walk back into the office and pretend he'd been a good little boy, and Billy would be none the wiser.

He walked into the Georgetown foyer to pick up his ID from Mrs Marsten. The woman had a strange look on her face, almost as if she was relieved to see him.

"Mr. Melrose will want to see you right away," she said, in her usual curt manner.

Lee wasn't sure what to make of it but he walked to the elevator and descended to the bull pen level.

Billy was waiting outside the elevator when the doors opened.

"Thank God, you're alright, man," he said, clearly relieved to see Scarecrow.

"Where's Amanda?' Billy asked.

"Amanda?" Lee asked, trying to feign innocence but he knew he'd been caught when Billy raised his eyebrow in a manner that was almost menacing.

"Isn't she with you?" he asked.

"Um, she was," Lee tried to stall.

Where was Amanda? The other groups shouldn't have taken this long, then a cab ride back to The Agency. He wondered briefly if she'd gone home.

"You left her?" Billy's voice began to elevate.

"Well, it was her idea, really," Lee tried to defend.

"I told you," Billy started, but then he stopped. "It doesn't matter, I'll deal with that later."

"Billy," Lee said. "You're starting to make me nervous. Where's Amanda?"

"There was a bombing," Billy said almost too mater-of-factly.

Lee felt as if the floor had just been pulled out from under him. He had left her. And there was a bombing. He worked to control his breathing, and in a few seconds he had pulled on his agent mask and stuffed his greatest fears deep where they couldn't interfere with any possible help he could be to Amanda.

"Where," he asked.

Billy told him about the rally of one of the groups Amanda had been sent to. They'd gone to the park, and if Billy knew Amanda, she'd gone along.

Turning abruptly, Lee pushed the button for the lift and stepped in quickly when the doors opened. Rushing past Mrs. Marsten as he tossed his agency ID at her, he flew out the front door like the devil was on his heels.

He'd left her. And there was a bombing.

Thankful for light, mid-day traffic, he made it to the park relatively quickly. As he surveyed the chaotic scene before him, he suddenly had a sense of déjà vu. For all intents and purposes, it looked much like his dream earlier that morning. He showed his government ID to one of the police officers guarding the scene and stepped under the yellow tape.

Lee walked through the ambulances and looked on as the injured were treated. The chaos was so similar to his dream that he had to fight the fear just to keep looking for Amanda. He cursed himself for leaving her. He should have listened to Billy. Hell, he should have listened to his own instincts after that dream this morning. Now it was real. And now he couldn't find her.

Lee had almost decided to give up and call Billy to have him check the hospitals, not morgues, he couldn't think that way, when he looked up to see a familiar figure on a small, grassy hill. His heart caught in his throat and he all but ran up the hill to her.

"Amanda," he said. "Are you OK?"

She turned to him and the look on her face broke his heart. He knew she'd seen some terrible things today and he hated that he hadn't been with her. He should have been with her.

He took her hands in his, and he felt it again, that charge, only this time the emotions behind it were stronger. She was saying something to him about the bomb and the victim, but her words barely registered as he glanced over her, assuring himself that she really was OK. It had been so long since he'd touched her, since he'd held her. What if...no, he couldn't think like that. She was here. She was alive. His worst fears had not come to life.

Finally taking her in his arms he said, "Just thank God you're weren't hurt." And he meant it. He meant it more than any other words he'd ever said in his life. He wanted to stay like that, with Amanda in his arms. He wanted to protect her from the hurt he saw in her face. But he knew it wasn't practical, probably not even wanted.

He saw a plain clothes detective he knew approaching them as he pulled away from Amanda. Trying to ignore how her hands lingered on his chest after their embrace, he spoke to the man. Unfortunately, Manny wasn't very happy to see him and after exchanging un-pleasantries, Amanda brought their attention to a woman being arrested.

"Detective Trudeaux," Amanda inquired. "Where are they taking Mrs. Sullivan?"

Lee knew that tone of Amanda's voice. It was obvious that, though she'd probably only met the woman that day, Amanda considered this Mrs. Sullivan a friend. This was not going to be easy, and Lee had a feeling that, whether his friend, Manny, wanted him involved, or not, Amanda was going to force it.

They walked back to his car, Lee's hand on the small of Amanda's back, as if it had always been there. His personal issues of the past week pushed back from his mind. All that mattered in this moment was that Amanda was alive and she was OK.

He paused before he opened the door of the Corvette for her.

"Look, Amanda," Lee said softly, taking her hands in his again and staring at them. "I'm sorry I didn't stay with you today. I should have been here. You shouldn't have had to go through this alone."

He looked up and saw her smiling at him. The tenderness in her eyes boring into his heart, forcing all his fears of the past hour to flee, leaving only that amazing feeling he always had when she smiled up at him this way. He smiled back and they stood for a moment, staring into each other's eyes, until Lee began to feel that old urge again, to lean in and take possession of her lips. Instead, he cleared his throat.

"We should get back to the office," he said, hurriedly. "Billy was really worried about you."

Amanda simply nodded in agreement and sat down in the passenger seat after he opened the door for her. As he walked around to the driver's side, Lee worked to get control of his feelings which were flying in every direction but the one he thought they should.

No, this day was not turning out the way he'd planned at all.