A/N: Thanks for your patience. Here is the next chapter. I've spent eight chapters trying to convince everyone that we should feel an immense amount of pity for poor Lee. You can set that aside for this chapter. :) The title is taken from a Luther Vandross song, the lyrics of which I thought fit the confusion fairly of the relationship at this point fairly well.

Thanks for everyone's reviews and follows and favorites. I appreciate them all. Constructive criticism always more than welcome.

If I didn't know better
I'd think that you were mine,
you're with me all the time
If I didn't know better
I'd swear we're more than friends,
you're touching me again
If I didn't know better
I'd think we were in love,
do you wanna tell me something?

Frank Mason had worked as the doorman for 20 years now. Lee Stetson had lived in the building for the last five of those years. In that time Frank had seen, and heard, a lot of things that disturbed him about Mr. Stetson's private life. As the father of five daughters, Frank had reserved a certain level of disdain for the man's womanizing. He really didn't care if the women were throwing themselves at him, or not. In the years before his first daughter was born, he probably wouldn't have been bothered by Mr. Stetson's behavior, but having a daughter, let alone five, changed a man. Frank Mason saw things differently than most men. And what he knew about Mr. Stetson had always troubled him.

Then, suddenly, things had changed. As the usual night doorman, he had always seen Mr. Stetson coming in at all hours of the early morning, at different levels of inebriation, with a variety of different women. It was the drunkenness that had stopped first. The tenant might still bring various women home, but he was always sober. Shortly after that there seemed to be an attempt, at least, at dating just one woman. Frank thought her name was Randi, but he couldn't recall now. There had been so many women through the years, they sort of bled into one in his collective memory. They all did, except one: Amanda King.

It hadn't taken Frank long to figure out that Mrs. King was completely different than any woman, or person, Mr. Stetson knew or associated with. There had been some confusion when he'd first met Mrs. King at Mr. Stetson's apartment. Actually, there had been a lot of confusion, starting with the fact that Mr. Stetson was dead, but he wasn't. It was complicated, he had been told. But he'd been a doorman for nearly two decades by then and he knew when not to ask questions or pass along information. That was just an incident he tucked under his hat. The less he knew, the better. A few days after a bomb squad had swept into the building and evacuated all the tenants in order to clear out the explosives in Mr. Stetson's apartment, Mrs. King had shown up, alone, while Mr. Stetson was out, to deliver Frank some homemade chocolate chip cookies and to apologize for all the chaos earlier in the week.

After that, the cookies, or some cake, or some other goodie, had been a routine delivery anytime Mrs. King came to see Mr. Stetson or to pick up something he'd sent her to his apartment for. They'd chatted and he'd learned that the Mrs. was just a formality, and that she'd been divorced for a while. And the more he got to know her, the more that bothered him. What type of man would leave someone like Mrs. King? It certainly made him keep a closer eye on his son's-in-law, at any rate.

She had a natural way with people and it wasn't but a few visits before he felt as if they were old friends. When his wife had gall bladder surgery a few months later, Mrs. King not only asked after her, but brought by food for the family so Mrs. Mason wouldn't have to worry about a thing. Mrs. King had even offered to come to the house and clean if needed.

Yes, Frank really liked Mrs. King. And, until earlier this week, he felt sure Mr. Stetson liked her even more. There had just been something different between them lately. And there was certainly something different about Mr. Stetson. Until this week, Frank hadn't seen Mr. Stetson come in with a strange woman in months. He kept regular work hours, though sometimes the man would get restless and go out for a drive in the middle of the night. On one particular night, Frank's curiosity got the best of him and he'd asked Mr. Stetson where he'd gone.

"Oh, just Arlington," he'd replied, but it had been the only confirmation Frank had needed.

Mrs. King lived in Arlington so who else would the apparently reformed Lothario be visiting?

Both Frank and his wife had spent time discussing what could possibly be going on between the two of them. They tried to guess when Mr. Stetson would give notice to the landlord because surely as close as they were getting, as much as Mr. Stetson had changed because of Mrs. King, an engagement was forthcoming.

But then the woman who currently stood before Frank showed up. He had no idea where she came from, or where Mrs. King had gone to, but it had been a surprise to him. And today, she was here, trying to use their familiarity after just one meeting to get into Mr. Stetson's apartment. For a "surprise," she said.

Frank sighed.

Ms. O'Conner wasn't an awful woman. As far as women Mr. Stetson had dated in the previous five years, she certainly ranked at least closer to Mrs. King than any of the others. But she wasn't Mrs. King, and for some reason that bothered Frank. It had taken all his willpower not to ask Mr. Stetson what had happened between the two of them. And it had certainly sparked some slightly heated debate and very disappointed remarks around the Mason dinner table.

Now, he shook his head, even as he agreed to Ms. O'Conner's request and walked to the lift with her. None of Mr. Stetson's other girlfriend's had ever made such a request and it seemed to Frank to be a bit presumptuous of a woman he suspected had just started dating the man. He was going to have to have a chat with his youngest daughter about this to make sure she understood what was appropriate in a new relationship and what made her look cheap.

After Frank opened the apartment door and took the lift back downstairs he started to think he was probably going to regret this. He didn't realize, though, why, or how much, until several hours later. He'd just come back into the lobby from a ten-minute coffee break when a cab pulled up in front of the building. He went to the front door to open it. As he glanced past the incoming tenant, he saw Mrs. King's station wagon parked just down the street. He wondered if his wife would mind too terribly if he swore under his breath. Walking slowly back to the lobby desk, he wished he hadn't accepted the request for a shift change from the daytime doorman.

Today had been a good day. It had been a really good day. Sure, it hadn't started so great. A disagreement with her mother, a miserable session at the firing range, and Elizabeth Sullivan booked on murder charges certainly weren't things she would have considered great, but she and Lee had been firing on all cylinders today, so to speak. They had worked almost seamlessly together since they had met up at the Agency that morning. It really was just as if the past week had never happened. They were back in their groove, almost reading each other's thoughts. It had felt so good to Amanda. The tense silence between them for most of the week had reverted to their normal good natured banter. And, Amanda had to admit, it was really nice to hear some words of praise from Lee about her work. It wasn't as if he had been displeased with it lately, it was more as if he was displeased with her. But now, as they exited the elevator and walked the short hallway to his apartment, things were good again between them, and that's all she needed.

But when they'd arrived at the door, they had found it ajar. Lee and Amanda had immediately gone on alert, with Lee pulling his gun and Amanda trying to pull herself into the wall behind her as much as possible. He entered the apartment cautiously and Amanda waited to hear what happened. It certainly wouldn't have been the first time they'd met with danger here and Amanda could only hope this would not prove to be anything that serious. Unfortunately, it turned out to be far more serious than anything Amanda could have imagined, only the danger was not to both of them, but only her, and only to her heart.

From the back of the apartment, Amanda heard a woman's voice calling out in French to Lee. And while the voice was muffled, Amanda was fairly certain the words could be translated, "Hello, Darling." For a moment, she found her natural curiosity stifled. She really wasn't sure she wanted to enter Lee's apartment and meet the woman whose existence he'd been denying for days. Instead, she peeked around the doorjamb at the well-dressed woman talking to Lee over the dining table.

Amanda found it hard to breath. What she saw was nothing at all what she expected. The woman didn't look like any girlfriend Amanda had ever seen Lee with before. For starters, she was dressed. Oh, sure, his other girlfriends had been dressed, but just barely. This woman wore well-appointed business clothing, her hair was done up nicely, and her make-up was simple. What was Lee doing with a, well, a normal looking woman? Amanda had been expecting one of his usual "flash-in-the-pan" floozy girls. She had not prepared herself for the fact that Lee had apparently decided he liked normal.

She should have backed away from the door and waited until Lee could come close it and she could have exited the building discreetly. She wasn't sure if she could stand the thought that was suddenly dawning on her, that Lee had decided he wanted normal, but he hadn't wanted it with her. She was more confused than she'd been before. Nothing made sense at all. Why had he seemed so interested in her over the past few months and now, suddenly, he had found himself another girlfriend? And why did the woman have to be so, ugh, normal?

Before Amanda could move, the woman looked toward the door and saw her. Amanda tried to cover her rising panic. It was foolish to feel this way about anyone Lee was dating. He had made her no promises.

The other woman held out her hand and introduced herself, "I'm Leslie O'Conner."

Amanda took her hand and shook it as she said her name, almost mechanically. This was entirely more awkward than any other meeting of any other girlfriend of Lee's. But the awkwardness was all her own. Leslie was at perfect ease here, it appeared.

But the worst part was Lee's immediate transformation. The easy camaraderie the two of them had returned to this afternoon was gone and in its place was a high level of tension and nervousness. Amanda could tell already that Lee wanted her gone, even more than he had around any other girlfriend.

He quickly pronounced it "quitting time," and Amanda knew, he wanted her gone. As Leslie spoke to Amanda, Lee glanced at his watch and Amanda could tell without looking at him that he was not patiently waiting for her to be gone. He announced quite suddenly, and in Amanda's opinion, rather rudely, as he interrupted Leslie's explanation of her work as a translator, that he was going to call Billy and tell him that Amanda was on her way over. Amanda needed no translator for that. Lee wanted her out of the apartment by the time he got back.

Normally Amanda would have been angry and offended at Lee giving her the brush off like this. But today, she wanted nothing more than to do exactly as he wished. She needed to get out of this room, this building. Amanda didn't think there was enough air in the entire neighborhood for her right now.

As Lee left to place his call, Leslie stepped closer to Amanda and began to question her about Lee in a friendly manner. Amanda suddenly wished Lee had been met with an armed intruder upon entering his apartment. That, she could have handled. This woman, this normal, ordinary woman whom Lee appeared to be dating, was not something Amanda wanted to even think about right now.

Leslie gently led Amanda into the apartment as she spoke. Turning to her she asked, "What I wanted to know is he always full of surprises?"

Amanda took a moment to reply so her voice wouldn't hitch. Full of surprises certainly defined Lee at this moment.

"Yes," Amanda nodded and rubbed her hands together slightly as she replied. "He's always full of surprises."

Leslie laughed and began to talk again. Amanda just wished she could figure out a way to make a polite but hasty exit.

After a moment Amanda's mind registered what Leslie was saying, "...he saw a dress that he thought would be just perfect for me, and he bought it, *and* delivered it to my hotel room."

Amanda didn't know what to think. This was not Lee's usual behavior at all.

"Well, that was very thoughtful of him," Amanda said, because she didn't know what else to say and she was nervous so she needed to talk. What she really needed to do was get out of this place, but Leslie showed no signs of ending their conversation.

"I brought it with me," Leslie continued. "I'm going to try it on later and surprise him. If it fits."

Oh, Amanda thought, I really need to be out of here by then. The last thing she wanted to see was the dress Lee had bought Leslie. She had more than a slight idea what it would look like and Amanda wasn't sure if she could hide a reaction to that.

She watched Leslie take a plate and napkin off the service cart and place them on the dining table as she went on about how wonderful Lee was, and chemistry, and a lot of other things that Amanda just didn't even want to process. She could hear the blood rushing to her ears now and hoped she wasn't getting flush. That would make this embarrassing moment even worse.

"Well, I guess I'd really better be going," Amanda said, impressed with herself at her ability to keep her voice calm. Right now she'd rather be back in O'Keefe's office at Transoceanic Industries, wondering how she was going to live through yet another mess she'd gotten herself into. Anything but this conversation with this woman would have been less difficult.

"Oh, no," Leslie disagreed adamantly. "You really must stay and tell me all the delicious things about him that he'd never tell me himself."

Amanda worked to retain control of herself and not simply flee out the door. That was a conversation she never wanted to have with anyone, let alone someone like Leslie, someone normal. And the thought went through Amanda's head again that Lee finally wanted normal, but he didn't want it with her.

Fortunately for Amanda, Lee returned then. She knew the moment he saw the place Leslie had set for her that he was displeased. It showed all over his face. For a minute Amanda wasn't sure what hurt worse, the fact that she was talking to what she knew was Lee's first serious girlfriend in nearly a decade, or the fact that he obviously didn't want her around.

Lee removed the plate from the table and replaced it on the cart. Then he turned and began to verbally usher Amanda out of the apartment, to her great relief. If she could just get out of here with her pride intact, she would consider the last miserable five minutes of her life not a complete failure.

But then Leslie said, "We're going to a party tomorrow evening at the Soviet Embassy."

Amanda felt her heart skip a beat. Her mind tried to stay in the conversation, but all she could think about was yesterday's conversation with Lee about her dress. If they were in California, Amanda would have prayed for an earthquake to open the ground and swallow her and the building. This was utterly humiliating. Of all the things Lee had ever done to her, she had to admit, this felt like the worst.

"That's why Lee bought me the dress," Leslie continued, needlessly, though she didn't know that at all.

"You're going," Leslie commented, as if there was no room for doubt.

"Oh, no," Amanda said. "I think I'll probably skip this one."

Which Amanda also thought should go without saying since she only attended such functions when Lee needed her for a cover. He obviously wouldn't be needing her for that anymore.

"Well, then, maybe the three of us could get together again soon," Leslie said.

Amanda really didn't want to think badly of Leslie, the woman was so much nicer than any of Lee's other girlfriends, including Eva, but at that moment she thought she'd rather have a root canal than get together with Leslie and Lee.

Outwardly she nodded and said, "Well, yeah, maybe so."

Finally, Leslie accepted her farewell and let her leave the apartment. Lee followed her out and started talking about his conversation with Billy. Amanda only heard half the words though. Right then Amanda was trying to deal with an unusual feeling. It wasn't one she had often and she'd never had it toward Lee at all. Amanda was always honest with herself and she had realized, almost since she first laid eyes on Leslie, that she was jealous.

Finally she could hold it in no longer and she interrupted Lee.

"She's very nice," Amanda said, though she was certain her voice and body language conveyed something entirely different.

They didn't to Lee though, and he said, "Oh, I'm glad you like her."

Amanda wasn't interested in anything Lee had to say about Leslie and she continued quickly.

"She's not your type," she told him frankly.

"What do you mean she's not my type?" he asked.

"She's normal," Amanda didn't even let him finish his question, her jealousy driving her on to say things she would not usually say. "She's a normal person. She would never understand you. She would never understand what you do."

She felt like she wanted to shake him.

What Lee said next, made Amanda wish she'd just kept her thoughts to herself. Was there really no way this day could stop getting worse?

"Amanda," he said in a firm tone, the one that told her he was convinced of his facts and there was no room for argument, as he started to list Leslie's 'attributes.' "She has a top security clearance from the UN as a diplomatic translator. She's been to Moscow for the START talks. She can guess what I do. That's why it works out so...perfect."

All Amanda heard was that Leslie had so much more to offer him than she did. What did she have that compared to Leslie's list? A live in mother, two young boys, a station wagon, a truly normal life. Leslie appeared normal, and she was much more so than Lee's former girlfriends, but she wasn't the kind of normal Amanda was. That wasn't the type of normal Lee was looking for. And for no logical reason, that hurt.

All she could manage in reply was a strained, "Oh."

Lee, though, was oblivious to Amanda's pain and he turned the conversation back toward the business at hand, then he threw in the part that was guaranteed to get a reaction even if she wasn't in her current state of mind.

"You're going straight home, right?" he said.

She lost it then. She almost didn't know what she was saying, she was so angry, half at his dismissal and the other from her jealousy. Lee tried to convince her of the pointlessness of watching O'Keefe, but Amanda knew he only felt that way because Leslie was waiting for him with a fancy dinner and the dress he'd bought her. The one Amanda knew she could more than guess at what it looked like.

As the doors to the elevator began to close, Lee commanded her to go home. This just made Amanda even angrier.

"Not this time buster," she said after the doors closed, hoping it was loud enough for him to at least hear the displeasure in her tone, if not her exact words.

When the lift doors finally opened to the lobby, Amanda walked quickly out the front. The poor doorman didn't even have time to get to the door and open it for her. She didn't care. In fact, it was better. She was so angry right now that it was probably good not to have to interact with anyone until she could get control of her feelings.

Slamming the car door on herself after she got in, she took some deep breaths. She had to calm down. This was so unlike her. She was logical. She was thoughtful. She wasn't emotional. She wasn't reactionary. And she especially wasn't when it came to Lee.

Sighing, she let her head fall forward until her chin touched her chest. She looked at her hands in her lap and finally, had to deal with the feelings she had started to have for Lee. She *was* emotional when it came to him. He had come to mean more to her than she should have let him mean. She never should have allowed that. It was one thing to be his friend, to help him be a better man, the kind of man she had seen in his eyes at the train station. It was completely another thing to give him her heart when she knew he didn't really want it. She had too many responsibilities that didn't go along with Lee's chosen lifestyle or job, so that even if he had given up the former, the latter would still always get in the way. When had she lost sight of that?

It didn't matter, Amanda told herself as she raised her head and squared her shoulders. She had a job to do, and she was going to do it, even if Lee didn't think it was important. She'd been at this long enough to know when to follow her instincts on this sort of thing.

Frank stood just inside the lobby door as he stared down the street at Mrs. King's retreating form. He felt so sad for her. From the looks of things she hadn't known Mr. Stetson was seeing someone else. She didn't deserve to find out about it this way. As he slowly walked back to the lobby desk, he thought that today he really didn't like his job at all because he'd have to be nice to Mr. Stetson when he saw him. But he felt a sort of fatherly protection for Mrs. King right then and all he wanted to do was give Mr. Stetson a nice sock in the jaw. Quitting time couldn't come soon enough for him today.

A/N: Just a question for those more experienced in the FF pages here. Is there some sort of unwritten rule that an author's note is needed whenever posting a new chapter? Just curious because I forgot one on my other story and received far less reviews, etc. Just want to make sure I'm doing this all right. Thanks.