A/N: Drumroll please. :D Made it. Hey, it's still the weekend on the West coast (for those whom I promised to post this weekend). Would have been sooner but from Thursday night on my computer has crashed at hourly intervals. It was just one massive conspiracy, I'm sure. ;) Not to mention the three hours it took me to write the final paragraph. hehe I had planned an epilogue but I just don't have time to devote to it. I might come back and write one during Christmas break when school is out, but don't count on it. For now, I declare this finished. Thanks so much for everyone's reviews and feedback and, especially, patience. Now, I am going to kick back, relax, and do what I really, really love to do...read everyone else's SMK fan-fiction.

Lee stood, rooted in place, for countless minutes. The emotion that swelled up inside as he stared at the door Leslie had closed when she'd walked out of his life seconds earlier was not at all the first he expected, nor was it even the second. Instead of the anguish or fear his experience told him he should be going through, he had a sense of relief. It felt as if a burden had been lifted. The incongruity of his feelings only increased his sense of guilt. Leslie had to think he had used her and that was never true. He had cared for her, only not nearly as much as he cared for Amanda. Lee had never been the crying kind, but he felt a sting on his eyes as he fought the moisture that formed behind them.

At last, with a sigh that was more physical than audible, he tore his eyes from their focus on the door. Shaking his head, he turned to look around the apartment. Leslie had cleaned the kitchen before he'd arrived home and there were no evident remnants of the evening. It was the same for Leslie, Lee thought. Aside from whatever leftovers there might be in the refrigerator, and her phone number in his address book, he knew he would not be able to find anything to remind him of their week together. Though Leslie's perfume lingered, every visual cue in the room brought only Amanda to Lee's mind. From the spot on the sofa where she had sat countless times as they talked out the end of a case to the Tibetan ram's horn he kept on a table in the corner.

Walking over to the table, Lee examined the horn. Years ago, Amanda had cleaned his apartment and had, to his pain and consternation at the time, filled the ornament with flowers. He had been upset with her; cleaning his apartment seemed an overstep of the boundaries he tried to set between them. He hadn't been very nice to her that day, or many days at all back then. But he had left the flowers there even after they had died, not bothering to remove them until he called her and tricked her into coming over to fish-sit while he was on a vacation. At the time he'd told himself that he was afraid it would remind her to refill it, now he wondered if he just didn't want her to realize she had started to mean something to him.

As he rested his hand on the horn, Lee reminisced through all the years and all the cases they had worked together. So many times he had watched her face danger, and even death, not only without a flinch, but with a fierce determination that nothing would defeat her. He had known women over the years in his line of work who were similar, but they'd all had training to know exactly what to do in each situation. Amanda was, he could now easily admit, a natural. Her strength came from within; her stubbornness was a part of her personality. Lee wondered if she would be able to apply that tenacity to a relationship with him.

He turned and walked to the bedroom. None of that would matter, he thought, unless she could forgive him for lying to her. Right now, he really couldn't be sure she would. It was one thing to lie for the sake of national security, she had forgiven him enough times for that, but to lie about something so small and pointless, now seemed senseless. If Amanda asked him why he had lied, Lee wasn't sure he could give her an answer.

Once in the bedroom, he made his way over to the bathroom to brush his teeth and get ready for bed. He felt the pull of exhaustion on his body; the day had been draining on both a physical and an emotional level and Lee's body desired nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep for eight hours. His mind, however, was running at a million miles a minute.

Why *had* he lied? Lee asked himself. There was never a reason. Of all the things he had done the previous week, possibly even in his life, this one thing confused him most. He wiped his face with the towel and stared at his reflection in the mirror as if he could will the man in there to give him the answer. For a fleeting moment he thought he might have it, but he shook his head. The answer that had come to him was so absurd he found himself laughing quietly.

Back in the bedroom, Lee chucked his clothes off quickly, scattering them as he did, then pulled on his pajamas. Lying down in his bed, he brought the covers up to his chest. He knew he wouldn't sleep with the thoughts that were running through his head, but he could at least make himself comfortable while he did his thinking. Folding his hands under his head, he stared at the ceiling, hoping to come up with a solution to the massive problem he had created for himself.

Regardless of the possibility of something more with Amanda in the future, Lee knew he had to apologize for lying to her about Leslie. Their work relationship would be hampered by the lack of trust between them. Lee wasn't sure if only an apology would suffice, though. The foolishness of the lie must make Amanda think Lee had reverted to his old ways. Amanda was an intelligent and perceptive woman, but over the last week Lee had treated her with the disrespect and condescension that was symbolic of the first months of their association, last night being case-in-point. He had groused at her for her methodology, or, more accurately, lack of methodology, when it really wasn't important. He knew at the time he was just angry because, yet again, Amanda had disobeyed a direct order, had followed her impeccable instincts, and was right.

All through the interrogations at the Agency, Lee had been unfocused and unable to stay in the conversation. His thoughts kept drifting to Francine's earlier accusation about his lies to Amanda. When he and Francine had finished, he could only think about going home and getting some much needed sleep. This week had been hell, most of it his own making.

Billy had other plans. When Lee walked out of the interrogation room, his boss was waiting with a stern look and a "my office, now." Lee sighed and, being too tired to even argue that he was too tired, complied.

For several moments after they took a seat on their respective sides of Billy's desk, the man simply stared at him. Not long ago, Lee would have had some quick, sarcastic remark regarding the delay in conversation, but tonight Lee was almost certain he knew what was coming. And he was even more certain he deserved it.

"Francine told me what happened in the warehouse," Billy said.

His voice was quiet, but in no way soft. There was an unusual edge to Billy's words that made Lee want to gulp. He sat silently and waited for the rest of his upbraiding.

"There are a lot of things I want to say to you," Billy continued. "But I'm going to be brief because I know you are exhausted, and because I am trying to maintain some semblance of self-control."

Lee's palms began to sweat and his collar felt two sizes too tight. Billy turning to look him square in the eye did nothing to help cool the increasing temperature in the room.

"I don't care what the hell is going on in your private life," he said, looking like he was doing his best to keep his voice under control. "It will never affect your work again the way it has this week."

Billy stopped, but Lee had a feeling the worst was yet to come.

"And if I ever hear that you have spoken to Amanda the way you did tonight, or treated her the way you have this week, I will write you up and send you to a listening post in Alaska," Billy's tone left no room for Lee to consider his superior might be over-exaggerating.

As he drove away from the Agency, Lee automatically turned the Corvette toward Arlington. He knew he had to take care of the mess he'd made right away. Stopped at a red light a few blocks later, however, Lee remembered Leslie. Though he'd told her not to wait, he had a feeling she had, and even if she hadn't it would be rude not to check. He thought of going to a payphone and calling. If she didn't answer, his machine would and she could hear him. He'd ask her to go ahead and go back to her hotel if she was still waiting because, Lee paused his thoughts. Why? What would he tell Leslie? That he had business with Amanda that was far more important than she?

And that was when everything started to unravel. Lee realized that he not only thought this business with Amanda was more important than returning home to Leslie, he knew that Amanda was far more important to him than Leslie. He had tried to deny it; tried to replace his friend; tried to get her out of his system by rejecting her, but none of it had worked. Right then, all he could see in his mind's eye was the hurt on Amanda's face as he lashed out at her for the way she had just saved his and Francine's lives. Right then, all he wanted was to go to her, take her hands in his and make things right. Hear her words of forgiveness and hold her in his arms, the hands and arms which ached at the lack of contact with Amanda throughout the week. And, at that, he was forced to acknowledge that what he felt for Amanda was so much greater than friendship could ever be or satisfy. Whether or not she felt the same was a moot point. He felt it, and to try to keep things going with Leslie, when his mind was almost always thinking of Amanda, was wrong. Leslie was a beautiful and caring woman who deserved someone who could feel for her the things he felt for Amanda.

In the silence of his bedroom at, Lee turned to look at the clock on the nightstand, 2:30 AM, Lee was starting to realize his earlier thought about why he'd lied to Amanda, and everyone else about Leslie, might not be so absurd. He really had been afraid of Amanda's reaction, not just in the matter of whether or not she would like Leslie, but how the two of them, in the same place at the same time, made him feel. To him it was almost as if he'd been cheating on Amanda. The notion still seemed as absurd as it had when he'd first thought it minutes ago, but Lee knew there was a little bit of truth to it. The side of himself that dreamed of taking a chance with Amanda would definitely have considered dating Leslie a betrayal, if not of Amanda, then of his own feelings.

With that sentiment acknowledged, Lee felt his mind succumbing the fatigue that his body had been trying to convince it to for a while. He turned over to his side, away from the clock, and closed his eyes. In the morning, he thought, he would go over to Amanda's and they would talk. He tried to work through what he would say to her, but his tired mind latched on to the fact that he would really being going to Amanda's in the morning, and that they would talk. It was all he needed to finally drift off into a restful night's sleep.

In the kitchen at 4247 Maplewood Drive next morning, Amanda stood at the range, her hands covered with plastic gloves which were in turn covered with cleaning solution. She glanced at the ceiling briefly, eyes following the noises, and wondered if she should take a break and go upstairs to see if there was any actual cleaning going on in Phillip and Jamie's room. Before she could decide, her mother walked in from working in the flower garden.

"I'll take care of it," she said to Amanda as if she'd read her mind.

"Thank you, Mother," Amanda said as she returned to her scouring.

Just as there was a pause in the ceiling noise, indicating Dotty had arrived at the boys' room and was attempting to get the cleaning back on track, Amanda heard a sound she realized she had thought she might never hear again. So many years she had jumped when she'd heard it, or turned to smile at the face in the window that accompanied it; today she stood, frozen at her spot at the counter.

Tap, tap. It came again and Amanda felt her heart thud more violently against her chest than it really should. She knew she had to do something to indicate she'd heard him so, biting on her bottom lip, she slowly turned to look out the kitchen window. She'd had a lot of reactions to seeing Lee's smiling face in her window over the years. At first it had been frustration with his ego and lack of manners, later it was excitement at the prospect of yet another case, and lately, at least up to this week, it had been something more, something nice and pleasing. Today, Amanda was sure, it was the first time she felt fear. Not that her life was in danger, but more her way of life, at least as she'd become accustomed to it over the past year.

She forced a plastic smile across her face not unlike the one she'd used yesterday at his apartment when she'd met his new girlfriend. When Lee pointed toward the side of the house, Amanda simply nodded in agreement. She watched Lee duck out of view of the window before turning back to her stove top and found herself disappointed at the interruption of her cleaning. Shaking her head as she removed her gloves, she tried not to think of all the times she had been so happy to see him just to have an excuse to step out of her ordinary life and into something more. Now, though, she just felt tired. Lee had put her through the ringer emotionally the entire week and she wasn't sure how much more she could handle. What would she do if she walked out there and all he wanted to talk about was Leslie? It never did any good to avoid the inevitable, she knew, so she took deep, steadying breaths as she walked to the back door and then out onto the porch where Lee waited.

"Hi," Lee smiled at her.

"Hi," Amanda gave him a thin smile and nodded back.

There was an awkward silence between them, one she hadn't felt since the first year they'd worked together. Not for the first time this week, Amanda wondered how they could have slipped so far backwards.

Lee finally broke the silence.

"I just wanted to thank you for last night."

Amanda looked at him in surprise. She'd had the impression Lee was angry with her work at Trans-Oceanic.

He must have sensed her feelings because he continued, "I'm sorry I acted upset. I shouldn't have been. You did great work, as always."

"Oh," was all Amanda could manage.

That was followed by more silence as Amanda tried to understand what Lee was trying to get at, and Lee seemed to be trying to work up the nerve to say something else. When he finally did, Amanda was even more surprised.

"And I'm sorry I lied about Leslie," Lee told her. "It was really stupid of me."

Amanda looked up at him now to see if he was being genuine. On his face she saw more emotion than she'd seen in a long time, as if he was opening himself to her examination in order to prove his sincerity.

She wanted to ask him why he'd done it, but she wasn't sure she wanted an answer to that question yet. Maybe after some time, and some healing of her heart, she would be ready to hear his story. But for the moment, it was enough that Lee was coming clean and apologizing. That was more like the Lee of the past year and, Amanda hoped, this meant that maybe things could be normal again.

Amanda smiled at him and said, "I forgive you."

The relief that flooded Lee's features took Amanda by surprise. She really couldn't understand why it could be so important to him that she forgive him now that he had Leslie. She supposed he might have been concerned about their partnership at work, but it looked to Amanda to mean something more.

Before she could think further about his reaction, Lee went on.

"I wondered if maybe you had time to go visit the Sullivan's, you know, let them know everything that happened last night," Lee asked with a hopeful smile.

Amanda smiled back and felt herself finally begin to relax. This was so much closer to normal than anything else had been this entire week. Lee was standing with her in her backyard, his smile making her feel all the things she was used to feeling around him.

Finally, she nodded and smiled as she watched his face split into a relieved grin. She wondered what he was thinking. His behavior today, while more normal that it had been all week, was still confusing her.

"Great," Lee enthused. "Do you want me to wait in the car?"

Amanda laughed at that question and Lee gave her a questioning look before it dawned on him what he'd asked. As Lee started to laugh, Amanda could feel the stress of the week begin to roll away and she realized that she really would be perfectly fine as just his friend and partner if he could be this happy. This was, after all, exactly what she'd wanted for him, a normal, healthy relationship. She couldn't be selfish and turn away from him just because he felt more comfortable having that with another woman. What kind of friend would that make her?

"I'll just finish wiping off the range," Amanda finally said. "I can change and be out in just a few minutes."

"OK," Lee nodded.

He hesitated and looked as if he was about to ask her something else when they both were jolted by Dotty's voice calling from inside the house.

"I should really go back inside and think up something to help me get away," Amanda smiled.

Lee nodded again and turned and walked away leaving Amanda to get ready and to wonder at yet another change in Lee's behavior this week. This one, however, was closer to the Lee he had become over the past year and, for some reason, that told Amanda that things were going to be OK between them.

As he and Amanda walked away from the Sullivan's boat after saying their good-bye's, Lee knew it was now or never. If he waited, he'd lose the courage he had worked up since their earlier conversation in her backyard.

"You're probably busy tonight," he started, offering her an easy out if she wanted, but truly hoping she wouldn't take it. "PTA? Den mother's club?"

"No," she replied.

"How about your mother's card club?"

"Nope."

OK, Lee took a deep breath. This was the moment of truth. Had Leslie been right? Or would Amanda refuse this obvious step over his previously constructed barriers.

"I thought maybe, uh," Lee fumbled with his words. "I thought maybe we could have dinner tonight. You know, just the two of us, alone."

OK, it was out. He'd said it. Now Lee held a mental breath to wait for her answer.

"Well, you and Leslie have a dinner party at the Russian Embassy tonight," was not the reply Lee had expected, but he supposed he should have. He tried hard not to let guilt over-ride what he knew he needed to do.

"Uh, yeah, uh," Lee thought he couldn't have sounded more ludicrous than he did, but he forged on. He couldn't mess this up.

"She, she won't be lonely, believe me," he told Amanda. "She's working anyway. She's got her own invitation.

"No, I thought maybe a nice steak, bottle of red wine, baked potato on the side," Lee's mind was racing in anticipation.

"No shop talk for a change," he continued. That point garnered a smile from Amanda that told him she liked the sound of that, finally putting him at ease.

"We don't do enough of that, do we?" he ventured, a little more confident at the look on Amanda's face.

She shook her head and smiled at him.

"Not by half," was her response.

Lee laughed in agreement and relief.

As they walked back to the parked Corvette, Lee felt his hand fall naturally to the small of Amanda's back. He had never felt so nervous and yet content. What he had with Amanda was certainly nothing like any other relationship he'd ever been in. He hoped that meant they would go the way he wanted. He wouldn't rush things, just take it slow and try to make sure this time he got it right. He had a feeling that with Amanda, it really would end differently. He was looking forward to trying.