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Chapter 9: Trust
Kim's POV
"Why do you look like you're about to piss yourself?"
Frowning, I looked over to Erin. "I don't…do I?"
"Either that or you already went through with it," she glanced at my jeans. "Nope."
"I'm just cold."
Okay, so that was a lie. Really I was nervous about seeing Jared at school. Not only had I threw him out of my house and shouted at him, I'd been lying to him since the moment we first became friends. He had probably come to the conclusion that it wasn't worth it by now and was figuring out ways to let me down gently. I was nervous that it was all going to be over before it even began.
Jared didn't come to my locker like he usually did and I went to classes feeling low. I missed the happy grin that he wore even though everyone else was scowling like they hated the world. It made my day feel less like a drag and without it to perk me up I felt sluggish. I couldn't concentrate on my work or what the teachers were saying, I was too busy looking around for Jared. He wasn't in lessons and I started to worry that his family problem had worsened again.
I was on my way to meet up with Erin for lunch when someone suddenly yanked me back by my elbow. I didn't have time to scream before I came to a halt in an empty classroom.
"Sorry about that," Jared said, his soft grip on my elbow dropping. "I didn't think."
"It's alright," I whispered. "You just shocked me."
He smiled awkwardly and ran a hand through his hair. "Listen, Kim—"
"You don't have to say it," I interrupted sadly. He looked at me with his big brown eyes and I almost started to cry knowing that I was never going to see them sparkle again. "No hard feelings. We can just go back to being… whatever we were before."
His eyebrows scrunched together. "What?"
"We can be friends or whatever. Jared, I get that you don't want to be involved with my family which means you can't be involved with me—"
"Kim, that isn't what I was going to say," he said strongly. "I was just going to say I'm sorry for being so rude. Your family is none of my business and I shouldn't have been so pushy about it."
"No… I overreacted," I whispered. "It's just a sensitive topic—"
"I know, I get that. You don't have to talk to me until you're ready."
"Thanks."
He smiled and opened the door for me to walk out. As we exited together, a group a freshman's looked over and giggled. I flushed crimson at what they must have been thinking, Jared and I walking out an empty classroom together…
I ducked my head and briskly walked to next lesson with Jared trailing behind me. The day went by normal after that, except when Jared looked me in the eye too long I had to flinch away. I could see the questions swimming in his eyes, he was dying to ask me more. That made my stomach churn. If he knew more, would he be frightened off? When I tell him, which would have to be one day, will he run?
"So when can we hang out next?" Jared asked as we walked into the car park.
My heart flipped. "When are you free?"
"Tonight."
I giggled, "Actually, you could come if you want. My parents are working late, Mike's sleeping at a friends and Anna will just be in her room."
He grinned widely and held out his hand for me to take. I stared and blinked at it for a few seconds before grabbing it. He walked me to my car and said he would follow me back to my house. Mike had gone straight to his friends and Anna had netball for an hour after school, so I had no one to wait for. Gulping, I pulled away and sped off to my house, my heart thumping. The thought of being alone with Jared did these things to me.
I ran into the house as he pulled up, making sure the house wasn't a mess. Satisfied rats weren't about to set up camp in the living room, I pulled off my jacket as he walked through the front door. I watched him glance around the house for a few seconds and then his eyes landed on me.
Oh God.
"Are you hungry?" I spat quickly, blushing.
"I'm always hungry."
"Okay, I'll put something in."
"Let me help you."
We dug through the freezer and cupboards and settled on cooking three pizzas, two for us and one for Mike and Anna-Marie. From school and our date, I knew Jared ate a lot, I suppose he had to for the size of him. Once they were cooking, we stood around the kitchen talking nonsense. It felt good to laugh and joke around with him again. I was always comfortable around Jared, unless I thought of what he must be thinking of me and my family. I sat and nibbled on my third piece of pizza on the couch while Jared had already finished half of a one off.
"What do you parents do, anyway?" he asked attentively, peeked at me from the corner of his eyes.
I swallowed my mouth full. "They're lawyers in Port Angeles but they have to go on a lot of business trips."
"What about grandparents and stuff, are they around?"
"My dad's grandma lives on the reservation but she's old and mostly stays at my Aunt's. My mom's parents live near San Francisco so we only see them about twice a year."
He paused, his attention straying from the pizza to me. I shuffled under his gaze. "Why did you keep it from me?" he questioned almost snappishly.
I frowned at him. "I'm not the only one keeping secrets, am I?" I grumbled, then instantly regretted it.
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing… forget I said anything."
"No, what do you mean?" he repeated, throwing the pizza back onto the plate.
My stomach was doing flip-flops as I set my pizza down. Why did I say anything? "I don't know… I realized after our date there was something…off. Well, I realized sooner, really, I just didn't want to admit it."
"But why do you think I'm keeping a secret?" he whispered, gulping.
"Well, first of all you've gone from a normal guy to a damn body builder in the space of two months, you didn't talk to me for ten years and now you hang out with me all the time, you look at the woods like they're about to catch fire, and I don't know what your obsession is with Jacob Black and his friends, but it's getting a little weird now."
His lips twitched at that and I sighed, glad I hadn't offended him. "You're a lot more observant than I thought you were," he smirked.
"So you admit to them?" I muttered, astonished. "I'm not going crazy."
"No…no you're not. You're right, but I can't tell you yet."
My breathing picked up. "Why not?"
"For the same reasons you can't tell me and more. It's a big thing…and I don't think you're ready to know yet."
"Does…does it involve me?"
He stared at me dead in the eye. "Yes."
The room began to spin.
I was right. He had a secret, a big secret…and it involved me in same way or another. What was it? Had there been signs? Had I missed them? Was it a good thing or a bad thing? I didn't know what to think, what to feel. I didn't like not knowing, but I couldn't force him to tell me when he hadn't forced me to tell him. I could wait…I think. The secret couldn't be too bad or he would have had to tell me sooner.
I rubbed my temples with my fingers, a headache brewing. I twisted my neck to look at Jared as he watched me with worry. He wouldn't put me in danger. I trusted him, and maybe that was stupid of me, but I couldn't help it. He was so beautiful and caring…he wouldn't keep something that could potentially hurt me… would he? I opened my mouth to tell him I was okay to wait when there was a sudden howl from the forest and Jared's phone rang.
He blinked rapidly as he seemed to come back into reality. "Hello?" he mumbled into the phone. "Shit, seriously? When?" I sat up as he scowled at the couch. "Is he alright? No, yeah, I'll come now."
He shut his phone and stuffed it into his pocket with his large hands. "Sorry, Kim, I've gotta go. Family emergency crap."
"Oh."
Somehow, deep down, I knew that was a lie.
"I'll see you at school soon tomorrow, yeah?"
"Yep."
He leaned down and kissed my cheek and, despite my mixed feelings, my heart pounded. He ran out the front door, slamming it behind him. I clenched my teeth together and stared at the wall in thought.
To my horror, my brain kept going back to one question.
Could I really trust Jared?
Thoughts?
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-Laylax