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Chapter 10: Clearwater

Kim's POV.

The next day, Jared wasn't in school. In fact, he wasn't in school for the rest of the week. I worried, as usual, but this time I couldn't help but wonder if what he was doing had something to do with the secret. Late at night, when I couldn't sleep or was doing homework, my mind tended to come up with crazy things that the secret could be. Like Jared being an international spy or his parents really being aliens. Although I shouldn't have, I was obsessive on knowing what the secret was.

This disgruntled me. I was acting like one of those girls at school that was willing to do anything for a bit of gossip or a hint of a scandal. Normally, I would have been bothered about secrets because I knew most were lies or rumours. However, this time, knowing that it was real had affected me. Also, the fact that Jared was the sole secret keeper (his involvement always made me interested) and that I was in on it (and didn't know it, mind you) and suddenly turned me neurotic.

What the hell was the secret?

On Monday morning I walked into English only to see Jared falling asleep on his desk. I stood at the doorway in shock for a moment before I pulled myself together and walked over to him. Gentle not to startle him, I shook his shoulder.

"Jared?" I said loudly.

He stirred and frowned as his eyes tiredly pried open. "Kim?"

"Yeah, are you alright?"

"Oh, yeah, tired."

"I can see that."

He leaned back and stretched. "Right, sorry. I didn't get any sleep last night."

"Why?"

"Various reasons."

Damn.

I sat on the table to the right of his that was my regular seat since three weeks ago when Ingrid Morter was moved for talking too much. I peered at Jared, the dark circles under his eyes and how his eyes looked heavy.

"Jared, maybe you should go home and sleep."

"My mom won't let me. Said I'd already had too much time off and I wasn't going to get another one just to sleep," he yawned. "I'll survive."

He let out a strange noise during his yawn and almost fell of his chair when his neck lulled to the side.

"I'm not sure you will," I said quietly.

I took Jared by the hand for the rest of the day, guiding him through the halls and to lunch. Paul, who had also been forced by his dad to come to school, looked as tired as he did. He fell asleep on Erin's shoulder and she glared at him for twenty minutes straight before shoving him off and huffing. During lunch, I couldn't help but notice a couple of people were missing. Jacob Black, Embry Call and Quil Ateara, who were always seen together on the reservation, were not on their usual table near the vending machine. A few freshman's had took over the table and I frowned, remembering how Jared had been watching them like a hawk and now they were gone, just like he had over a month ago.

I wanted to bring it up to him, but he was so tired he couldn't form coherent sentences. By the time the last lessons of the day finished, I was pretty much carrying him to my car, and it wasn't easy, I'll tell you. Jared towered over me and weighed a few stone more than me. Sure, it was all muscle, but that didn't make him easier to carry. I threw him into the back of my car and drove him to my house. I knew where he house was, in La Push everyone knew where everyone else lived, but I didn't know if anyone would be inside and his parents might have thought I drugged him. Using all my strength, I took him into my house and threw him onto the sofa to sleep.

"Um, Kim, why is Jared asleep on our sofa?" Anna-Marie asked as she came in from netball.

I stirred the pasta I was making and turned to her. "He was basically a walking zombie today and I couldn't get him to his house, so I brought him here to sleep."

She smiled. "So you made up, then?"

"Oh, um, yeah." I handed her the bacon to cut into the sizzling pan. "He apologized, I apologized. He agreed to wait until I was ready to tell him."

"That's sweet," she smiled, taking the mushrooms from the counter and putting them next in line for her to cut up. "I'm so glad you guys made up. He made you really happy, still does, I suppose."

"Yeah…" I trailed off quietly.

Jared did make me happy, more than anyone else ever had. There was just something about him that brightened up my days and made me more excited for school. Yes, excited for school, that's how sad I was.

Mike came home from soccer soon after and repeated the questions Anna-Marie had asked. After finishing the pasta and setting up four bowls on the table, I went into the living room. Jared was still asleep so I repeated my actions from the morning.

"Mhmm…hey, Kim," he mumbled groggily.

"Hey, would you like some pasta?" I smirked as he rubbed his eyes. He straightened and rubbed his face with his hands.

"Am I in your house?" he asked, looking around. I nodded and smirked. "Wow, thanks. I can't remember anything after lunch."

"Its fine," I shrugged.

"I'd love some pasta, thanks," he said happily, jumping to his feet. "Hey guys," he greeted my siblings.

We ate dinner with idle chatter and, after cleaning up, my siblings ran upstairs to do homework and play on the computer. I led Jared to the sofa and sat to watch the T.V.

"How come you weren't in school?" I asked, nervously fiddling with the end of my jumper.

"Something happened… I can't say what."

"The secret?"

"Yes."

I paused, trying to think of a subtle way to go around my next question. Deciding there was no way, I took a deep breath. "Did it have something to do with Embry, Jacob and Quil?" the words spilled from my mouth.

"Yeah," he turned to me and I bit my lip. "How'd you know?"

"They weren't at school and they're hardly ever off, and never at the same time."

"Oh, yeah," he ran his hands through his hair and tugged on the ends in distress. "Quil…finally joined in on the secret and Jacob was being stupid and revealed the secret to someone who doesn't have the right to know."

"Why would he do that?"

"Like I said, he's stupid."

I licked my lips. "When are you going to tell me the secret?"

"When I know you're ready," he replied instantly.

"And when will you know?"

"When the time is right."

I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. It may have been childish, but I didn't care. Knowing there was an important secret that I wasn't allowed to be told, but involved me in a big way made me want to scream. Honestly, I was shocked it bothered me this much. I blame hormones.

"I'm sorry you're upset," he leaned over to whisper in my ear. Goosebumps appeared all over my body. "But you'll know one day, I promise. I have to go now."

I whipped around to look at him. His face was two inches from mine. "Why?"

"I have to do something."

"Secret?"

"Yep."

"I hate secrets."

"Me too."

He kissed my cheek and he was off again, shouting thank you over his shoulder over and over until he was out of ear range. I sat and sulked for an hour while watching T.V. before going upstairs to do something productive; in other words, to do homework. I sat for the rest of the night, my pen tapping constantly against the desk table as I wondered and came up with stories about the secret could be. Also, why were Jake, Embry and Quil in on it? And, if my suspicious were right, Paul and Sam Uley? What were they all doing? Were they really selling drugs like people said?

Nooo… Jared wouldn't sell drugs. Neither would Jake, Embry and Quil, for that matter. They were cool, nice, normal guys. They wouldn't get themselves sucked into something like that. I couldn't even imagine Paul doing it, shocking I know, because the more I got to know him the more I realized he was a good guy, a little angry…all the time, but he had good intentions.

Jared selling drugs? The idea was preposterous. I laughed at myself and decided to go to bed, I was clearly going mad from lack of sleep.

For the rest of the week things went quite smoothly. Apart from my mental debates and raging emotions, everything else was normal. Jared and Paul didn't run away to do 'something' and they weren't off school. Jacob, Embry and Quil didn't return, I didn't expect them to. Jared told me they would be gone for a while, though people were starting to talk now they had all been gone for a week. The rumours had circulated already and I was awaiting for someone to say they had seen them around with Sam Uley.

On Friday, I slept at Erin's house with Anna-Marie while Mike slept at a friend's house. We spent the night gossiping and making four batches of brownies that Anna-Marie ate most of and then threw up. On Saturday I stayed at Erin's until mid-afternoon and then went home to finish off some homework. After dinner, the doorbell rang and I rushed to answer it.

"Jared?" I said worriedly as he leaned against the doorframe, holding his stomach as if he was about to be sick. "What's wrong?"

"Harry Clearwater—h-he—"

"He what Jared?" I asked sternly, panic welling up inside me.

"He died."

I gasped and I fell against the door. I hadn't been extremely close to Harry Clearwater, however, living in a small town like La Push it was impossible not to get to know people. Harry was one of the kindest men I had ever come across. When I was younger, he would always gave me a lollipop if he had one in his pocket. As I got older, I listened as he bragged about his children, Leah and Seth, and how proud he was. I always felt jealous at the love in his eyes when he spoke of his family. I remember thinking my dad never looked like that when he talked about my siblings and I, and that I would have liked to have had Harry as a dad.

I felt queasy, he couldn't be dead. I had seen him last weekend going on a fishing trip with his son. He had stopped me to ask about my studies and encouraged me to do my best, leaving with a wide smile on his face while waving in the wing mirror. And now he was gone, just like that. He had left his children and wife. God, they must be devastated.

"Oh no," I breathed. "No, oh God. When? Why? How?"

"He died this-afternoon from a heart attack…" he sniffled. "I didn't know where to go and I just seemed to come here."

"Jared," I said breathlessly, walking forward to hug him. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist and dug his face into my neck. I shuddered slightly as he inhaled. "Were you close to him?"

"Yeah, I grew up with him around, you know? He and Sue used to come around for dinner sometimes so I could have playdates with Leah and Seth. He always brought over his 'famous' fish fry."

"How are Sue, Leah and Seth?" I asked reluctantly. I knew the answer and I hated the thought of them being in pain.

"They're crushed," Jared mumbled throatily. "Seth is completely devastated and Leah keeps blaming herself…it's awful."

"Where are they now?"

"At the hospital," he answered. "I escaped to get you…you make me feel better."

I smiled into his shoulder and then shook my head. It wasn't the time to be smiling. "Maybe we should go over," I suggested. "Support them, everyone must be grieving."

He nodded and I ran up the stairs to grab my keys. I knocked on my sister's door and saw her sat on her bed reading when I opened it.

"Hey, I have to go to the hospital, okay?" I said.

"What for?"

"To support Jared… Harry Clearwater died and he's really upset."

"Harry died?" she repeated in shock. "When?"

"Today, he had a heart attack."

"Oh," she mumbled. "I really liked him."

I smiled softly. "I did, too."

She gave a sad smile as I departed, telling her to look after Mike. Jared was waiting at the front door and I took his hand as we headed to my car. I held it all the way to the hospital and through the hallways as we went to where everyone else was gathered. There were a lot of people, or it may have seemed like a lot of people because half were about ten feet wide. I glanced around at all the sad faces and felt an overwhelming surge of grief. Tears prickled in my eyes but I blinked them back. I wanted to be strong, not only for Jared's sake but for everyone's.

In the corner I saw Sue Clearwater sobbing into Leah's shoulder while the beautiful young woman tried to comfort her mom and also wipe away her own tears. Seth was sat on the seats, his head in his hands and his shoulders shook violently. Jacob and Embry sat either side of him, patting his back and whispering comforting words. They didn't seem to help.

I squeezed Jared's hand and he turned his send me a small smile. He took me over to Paul and a much beefier Quil who were leaning against the wall with a look of pure disbelief on their faces.

"Hey man," Jared said quietly. "How's everything going?"

"Shitty," Paul replied gruffly. "I just can't believe he's gone."

"No one can," Quil muttered. "I've never seen Sue cry before..." he glanced over at her and flinched.

Jared shook his head and I reached up to rub his shoulder in what I hoped was a comforting manner. We stood in the corner for a long time in silence, all lost in memories and thoughts of Harry Clearwater. Jared tugged on my hand suddenly and we shuffled over to Seth who was now staring into space while tears fell down his cheeks.

"Hey man," Jared sat beside him, not letting go of my hand. "I just want to let you know I'm here if you want me," he patted the younger guys back softly. Seth nodded, unable to speak through his tears. Jared sighed and stood, letting Charlie Swan, the Forks police chief, sit and comfort Seth.

We stood around for a few hours together, watching as everyone grieved for the loss of the tribe. Jared gently pulled on my hand when it began to get dark outside. I followed, not saying a word as he led me back to my car. I unlocked it and climbed in as Jared ran around the passenger side.

"Thanks for coming tonight," he said as I started to engine. "It means a lot."

"No problem," I responded softly. "Where are we going?"

"Just back to your house. I have to go and tell my family."

Nodding, I headed for La Push and stared ahead in thought. I couldn't believe Harry Clearwater was dead. He was around the same age as my dad, I was sure my dad had mentioned him in school stories before. Harry was taken too soon, too quick. It was scary to think he, or anyone, could be walking and talking and loving their family one day and then gone the next, leaving everything and everyone behind.

I really hoped there was a heaven because Harry Clearwater deserved to be in it.

"Do you want a drink or something?" I asked as Jared walked me to my door.

"No, thanks," he shook his head. "You've done enough for me tonight."

"Jared—"

"Don't."

The words caught in my mouth as he leaned forward. I sucked in a surprised breath and flickered my eyes up to look at him. His dark brown eyes were dilated and focusing on me. Gulping, I licked my lips when his warm breath washed over my face. Jared reached up and cupped my right cheek with his rough hand and I anticipated his next move before he made it, so I easily wrapped my hands around his neck when he covered his lips with mine.

I felt like I was in a dream.

Since I was ten-years-old I had dreamt of Jared Cameron kissing me. In all my teenage girl fantasies of been kissed in the rain or swept off my feet by prince charming, Jared was my prince. Now Jared was actually kissing me and it was so much better than my imagination.

His lips fit on mine perfectly and his constant heat made my head spin. Fireworks exploded behind my eyes and a victory song echoed through my head as he moved his hand to rest on my waist. I pressed closer to him, tilting my head as I felt his tongue slip over my bottom lip. I panicked a little, I didn't have much experience in kissing guys, what if I wasn't a good kisser?

Jared sensed my hesitation and gently pried my lips open a little until I opened them myself. His tongue met mine and I almost collapsed, moaning softly as I wrapped my arms around his neck so hard I had stand on my tip-toes. I let him lead, following his movements as well as I could as we ran out of breath.

"Kim," he mumbled against my lips. Pulling away, he dropped a kiss on my cheekbone and my eyes slowly opened. We were close enough that our noses were skimming. "Kim, I—"

He was cut off by the loud howl of a wolf. Frowning, I glanced at the forest, it wasn't unusual to hear wolves in La Push but that wolf sounded distressed. My attention went back to Jared as he sighed and bit his lip in frustration.

"I'm sorry," he said gruffly. "I have to go—my family and—"

The wolf howled again.

"Shit, listen, I'll see you soon, okay?" he let go and I flinched at the cold. "I'm sorry, Kim."

He ran down the lawn and stopped at the front to look back. Looking regretful, he shook his head and ran off down the street and around the corner so I couldn't see him. Where was he going? Was it to do with the secret? Had the wolf had something to do with his departure?

Then I realized what had happened.

I'd just kissed Jared Cameron!

Holy shit.

Thoughts?

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-Laylax