Chapter 5
Seeing Kurenai kissing her father – Hatake Kakashi shocked Sakura into utter silence. From deep inside her heart, something was shattered as if a solid wall of steel and cement was fractured by a savage internal force to set a monster free. An ugly and resentful monster she did not believe that it had existed within this thirteen-year-old girl, it was just a plain fact that her dad was hers. Or that was what she had always been thinking for so many years. She was the only person who could be so close to him.
She never meant "being close" in the same way Kurenai was doing with her dad now but Sakura always thought of her dad as an untouchable man who paid no attention to normal women. He devoted his life to be a Konoha's guardian, a war hero and being her dad. He was not an ordinary man who was held back by mediocre things such as love and women (well, even when it was hard to classify this gorgeous kunoichi who was kissing him at this very moment as anything mediocre).
Putting Konoha aside, her dad belonged to her. No one else. Did he also mean that a few months ago when she tricked him into believing that she just burned down all of his books? He did not need anyone but when he just looked as shocked as Sakura judging by the stiffness of his shoulder and the awkward silence ensuing from that kiss, he did not make any attempt to stop Kurenai or move out of her reach.
Slowly it all came to his senses that Kurenai had just locked his lips with hers, Sakura's dad was short of relaxing into the kiss and his long fingers which only pat her hair lovingly before now treacherously moved to touch the curly black lock of that woman as if it was natural to do so.
She never felt this exasperating before. The scene laid out in front of her eyes was so gauche and foreign, just like a thief who just broke into her house, messed the whole place up, destroyed all of her favourite stuffs then conveniently drowsed off on her bed. She did not know why she felt that way but Sakura did feel extremely violated. Kurenai had no right to touch her dad like that.
She had no right…
A loud crack jerked Sakura out of her angry trance and her eyes instantly snapped at the broken pieces of wood, which used to be part of the door she was hiding behind this whole time. The noise seemed to interrupt the two other people in the room as well as they both broke off their kiss and turned to stare at the noise source to figure out the unwanted audience.
Embarrassed and irritated with being caught red-handed stalking and not being able to control herself, Sakura threw the useless portion of the door hard on the floor, set the basket of dinner down at the door uncaringly and ran away as fast as she could before meeting her dad in the eyes. Sakura did not really know which way to go but she just wanted to run away to some other places to clear her head and calm herself down.
This newfound anger was petrifying. It made her blood boil with very uncomfortable sensations.
She was not so sure why she felt that way but she could feel there was something wrong about how she was feeling now. When she told her dad four months ago if he wanted to have someone else, she had not imagined this was how she actually reacted when he decided to have another important person in his life.
It was not even Sakura's idea for that conversation in the first place. She was just overhearing Hinata talking about her father with Ino – Sachiko's mother one day that her dad must still have missed her mother a lot to the point he still stayed single until now. Then Sachiko, Fuuko and Ryuuki's weird suggestions about how lonely her dad must have felt given that he was a pervert in closet with all of those Icha Icha books had made Sakura suddenly concerned how she may be the reason he could not find anyone else.
Being a burden on him would be the last thing Sakura wanted in this world. But apparently, she had not really understood the weight of anything she said that day because now she knew she did not want to share her father with anyone. She just wanted to be his only important person and anyone came between them could be expandable in her messed-up mind.
When she saw him being so gentle and protective of Kurenai when they came back this morning she felt tiny unpleasant but the moment she saw the kiss, an unprecedented hatred towards Kurenai suddenly coiled up in the pit of her stomach. That startling discovery stopped Sakura mid-way. She never felt that way about anyone and before all of this, she was sort of admiring Kurenai in a way. And who would not admire a stunning kunoichi with genjutsu talents and an air of mysterious nobility around her?
Sakura was sure she was not the only female ninjas who looked up at that older black-haired lady. Even when Sakura's goal was to become someone as magnificent as Tsunade-baasan, she still respected Kurenai a lot. Her liking towards Kurenai also stemmed from Sakura's relationship with Ryoko and Ryota who had been excellent comrades for five missions they went on together. Also, being her senpais at the academy, the twin were very eager to give Sakura hints for her chuunin exams or show her new techniques they picked up from their own operations. She always harbored a fondness for that family until now.
Was it normal for Sakura to feel this angry with Kurenai and her dad? This was not felt right but she could be mistaken. Maybe other girl would feel the same way if their dad was with another woman. She needed to find out.
Sakura decided to backtrack two more corners and turned on Shinpachi street leading to Yamaka florist's. Soon the auromatic scent of fresh flowers filled her nostrils and the colors of hydrangeas, bluemoon roses, peonies, tulips, wisterias, azaleas, jasmines, daisies and chrysanthemums dancing in front of her vision. Sachiko was right in front of the shop carrying a bucket of pink lilies inside the shop. It was their closing time now:
"Oh hey, Forehead, you came to help me close down? That's nice of you!" – Sachiko grinned at her slightly out of breath friend who seemed to forget to enjoy the flowers like she usually did when she came here before:
"Pig, I need to talk to you" – green eyes bore into dark black ones with a very rare seriousness.
"What" – raising her eyebrow suspiciously, the blonde deadpanned : "Don't tell me, are you pregnant?"
"SACHIKO" – Sakura growled irritatingly as her hands curled up into fists – "Don't you see how troubled I am?"
Sachiko may have wanted to argue further but decided against it as she put the bucket down next to the glass door and yelled to the inside:"Mum, I'll go and talk to Sakura for a while, could you finish the rest for me?"
"It's ok, I won't be that long though" – Sakura hastily added but Sachiko just held up her hand to stop her as a mischievous glint flashed over her eyes:
"It's important matter" – Sachiko yelled again.
"Ok, be back before dinner though" – Ino yelled back to her daughter.
"Alright" – Sachiko's smile widened as her slack-off plan had worked perfectly, making Sakura feel used but she did not have time pitying Ino-obaachan about cleaning up the shop alone though.
Sachiko turned to Sakura and said:"Old place?"
"Ok" – Sakura nodded then they silently strolled over to a playground a few blocks away from Yamanaka shop, where they usually came to play hide and seek before the ninja academy.
The sunset was already imbruing the playground with hot orange hue while long shadows of the slides, swings, water fountains, trees and bushes, was casted on the ground to create a typical beautiful dusk canvas. Quacking sounds of lost birds echoing from the mountain ranges surrounding the village added just the right musical note to the scenery. Sachiko usually threw pebbles at any unfortunate bird passing by her way as she detested their ominous sound but today, these birds were the least of her concern. Fortunately, there was no one on the playground at the moment, which was opportune for a confidential talk between two best friends. Settling down themselves each on a swing, the two girls propelled lightly against the ground to take a small fly. More like Sachiko swinging, Sakura was actually sitting there silently with hands clutching to the swing chains and eyes staring intensely at the ground as if there would be a Lilliput about to crack out from the earth any moment.
Looking expectantly at her brooding friend for a good measure of five minutes while tried her best to keep her mouth shut, Sachiko finally prompted as her patience ran dry:
"So…"
Still no sound but the green-eyed girl's fingers seemed to be a fraction tighter on the chains insinuated that she was collecting her thoughts to say what ever was troubling her mind at the moment rather than completely forgetting about her blonde friend.
"I just saw Kurenai-obaasan kissing my dad"
Sakura blurted out eventually after failing to put the matter down lightly.
Sachiko just shrieked:
"EEEKKK,REALLY?"
Her voice was more excited than disturbed as a curious smile twitched her lips:
"Open mouth? With tongue? I want the details"
"Sachiko" – Sakura snarled loudly, eyes throwing invisible daggers at the blonde, did not care to keep the fuming out of her voice – "Seriously, why do I bother telling you anything in the first place"
Taken aback by Sakura's snappy mood ever since they met up, Sachiko's eyes widened and her mouth was very ready to spew out a series of verbal assaults then suddenly catching on the whole thing, the blond narrowed her eyes instead:
"You aren't happy about it?"
That put Sakura in utter silence again as her face turned back to the ground with hair hanging down covering her whole face. This posture of the roseate-locked girl just exuded an awfully upsetting aura as if she was engulfing her whole body in a self-made black hole. Sachiko was too used to this being friend with this girl from before she could remember things:
"What's wrong, tell me, Sakura"
"I hate it" – she snapped quickly – and this time Sachiko was really worried. Sakura never said she hated something in the way that she really meant it like this time. Sachiko guessed her father's vague manners had rubbed off on her pretty hard for all these years since Sakura hardly ever showed an extreme sentiment toward anything in particular.
"I just felt so angry when I saw them together, I don't know, so I just run out of the hospital. I couldn't even face him" – hands held so tight to the chain that her knuckles turned white.
"Sakura…" – the blonde whispered, unable to say anything smart-assed like she usually did.
"Sachiko" – decisively turned to gaze at her best friend again, Sakura asked carefully;
"Do you feel that way about your dad? Would you be angry if he was with some other woman?"
"Next to my mum? Of course" – Sachiko responded, puzzled by the question.
"So you're also really unhappy if He went out with other woman?" – Sakura questioned again with a hopeful voice.
"Yeah, certainly, although he's such a creep sometimes but he belongs with my mum, doesn't he? I wouldn't stand it if it's not my mum he is with. I guess because she's my mum and he's my dad so I'm happy that they are together" – Sachiko shrugged with her hands wide apart, explained thing as if it was so obvious. Unknown to her Sakura' face just got grimmer, her voice just became too quiet as if she just talked to herself:
"So you don't want him for yourself at all"
"What are you…" – Sachiko thought she may have misheard her best friend as bewilderment came over her face but before she could finish her sentence, a deep calm voice cut through their conversation:
"Sakura"
Sakura reflexively raised her hand up to cover her squinting eyes as the person who called out her name was backing against the flaming sunset. However blaring the sun was, she could almost instantly made out a soft dark grey eye looking at her with so much gentleness that he never gave to anyone else. Only her. He was always having this way to look at her as if she was the only one in the world who mattered to him. For so many years, she took that look for granted until today. A hard lump rose to her throat as a burning sensation stung her eyes keenly.
She really did not want to share him with anyone. She just wanted him to be with her forever and ever.
A stream of tear involuntarily rolled down Sakura's cheek while her gaze was fixated on the masked face as if the world around her has disappeared into oblivion. Even Sachiko worried tone next to her ear:"Sakura, are you alright?" seemed to be from a very far away place.
She could only dimly remember the jounin vest shift forward towards her through the blurred vision then the familiar quiet authoritative voice told her blonde friend:
"Sachiko, you can go home now, I'll take care of Sakura-chan"
As he gave her a dismissive smile, Sachiko nervously glanced over to the pink-haired girl who went completely still on the swing seat to search for some permission to stay. Finding none, the blonde rose to her feet and said quickly:
"Ok, Forehead, I'll talk to you tomorrow then, good bye Kakashi-san"
"Bye Sachiko-chan" – Kakashi replied without even looking at the Yamanaka girl, his eye was busy boring into an unattended face of a certain rosy-haired girl. Crouching down in front of her, Kakashi pried her hands away from the grip on the swing chains and held them in his much larger ones (she did not seem to want to put up a fight):
"Hey, sweetie, Who made you so upset?" – He smiled at her with his usual crinkled eye, his voice sounded relaxed but in honesty, her teary eyes squeezed his heart tightly. He could easily distinguish her sulky teary face from a deeply disappointed one. The one she was having now was definitely the latter.
"Don't get married to Kurenai-obaasan, Dad" – the words were blurted out of her mouth too fast that Kakashi had to restrain from asking her to repeat herself again. But he knew he did not mishear it at all. Sakura looked like she meant every word of it. The pleading tone was also palpable.
"I think you may misunderstand something, Sakura-chan" – Kakashi tried to smile again but before he could add something Sakura snapped at him accusingly:
"I saw the way you looked at her, do you like her Dad?"
"I…"- Does he like her? It was too early to say anything. He did feel grateful to Kurenai and he did see her differently ever since this incident. He was not sure himself but the way Sakura was acting now was more in the centre of his concern than anything related to Kurenai. The most important person to him was obviously not Kurenai. Taking his hesitancy as a sign of agreeing that he actually liked Kurenai, Sakura lowered her gaze to the front of his vest again and wriggled her hands out of his:
"So you do like her…"
said Sakura though it was not easy for a little girl to witness her father kissing some other woman, Kakashi was still a little bit confused by Sakura's tantrum. He did not think she would react this intensely considering she was always a very mature and thoughtful kid. Maybe he overestimated her ability to fathom adult's business when in all actuality she was just a thirteen year old girl. Raising his hand to lightly bring her face up to his eye-level again, Kakashi bored into the jade pupils darkened by sadness:
"Hey, young lady, I never say anything about wanting to get married to anyone, don't I? By the way why are you so upset about the whole thing"
"I…" – now it was her turn to be faltering, unable to hold her father's gaze any longer, Sakura glanced anywhere but him then an idea just suddenly struck her: "You said you hadn't forgot mum, didn't you? And you said you don't need anyone but me" – She lied shamelessly – Sakura did not really care about her long gone mother. This sounded horrible but she would just shove that moral concern of hers to the deepest part at the back of her mind now. What she said now seemed to be a pretty good reason to counter her dad's dangerous question.
A bittersweet smile touched Kakashi's lips – this little girl was still having her childish quality for sure. She would not understand all the weight of her words on the others. Pinching her face lightly again, Kakashi intoned gently:"I will never forget her, silly head, and yes, I just need this cheeky demanding girl all the time"
"Really, you don't want to get married to Kurenai-obaasan?"Her eyes were practically brightened with delight, Kakashi was always surprised by how much she could communicate and how many emotions she could express in this pair of illustrative emeralds. If his face was permanently unenthusiastic, Sakura's would be a hundred sided mirror with so many different levels of expressions and mood ranges. Another trait that she inherited straight from Haruno Sakura – a lovely feature that Kakashi used to adore so much.
Chuckling heartily, Kakashi could not help pinching her cheek again for a good measure:
"Look at this bipolar little girl, weren't you just crying a few minutes ago? Kurenai and I were just friend, I do feel grateful to her, and that's all"
"She didn't ask you to pay her with your body, did she?" – Sakura narrowed her eyes at Kakashi's explanation, making him knock her lightly in the middle of her forehead and an amusing and angry scowl twisted his eyebrows:
"Don't you watch too much soap opera, brat? Again, are you of age to watch them?"
Rubbing her sore spot Sakura pouted lightly:"That was what happened, wasn't it? You have to get married to her because she saved you?" – her voice sounded all the more worried now.
"Sakura-chan, there's no such thing as a wedding for gratitude between me and Kurenai. We are just friends who know each other for ages and I'm not marrying anyone, you happy?"
A big dazzling smile spread her lips as she hurled her arms around Kakashi's neck in big hug:
"I love you dad, and I'll never leave you, we will always be happy together"
Taken aback by her words and overflowing sentiments, Kakashi paused for a few moments then finally he reciprocated her hug by placing tiny consoling pats on her back:"I love you too Darling, but you just say it now, in a few more years, you can't wait to move out and start your own adventure"
The embrace on his neck was tautened by a fraction:
"No, I won't, I just want you, dad, no one else, adventures with you are the most fun"
"I know, I know" – Kakashi conceded finally as a warmth feeling filled his chest again. He knew little Sakura had no idea what she was talking now. They could not be together for ever no matter how much he wanted it to be and how much she thought she wanted it to be. When she grew up she would just forget about her words today and soon there would be her own path she went on and another important person appeared in her life to replace him. If magic did exist, Kakashi would wish for her to remain small forever so he could always see her around and take care of her. But that would be against the course of nature and against her own will. Kakashi could not think that he could ever do anything to make this little angel of his unhappy. So for now, even when all the affection in her words today would fade one day, he still felt uttermost happy because for now he was the most important one in her life – the irreplaceable one. For now it was enough.
TBC