Hey ya'll! I am very disappointed in myself that i haven't updated in a long time. I actually have no excuses except pure laziness. Well i finally made an effort to finish this chapter today, so...hurray! Idk i was feeling inspired.
I wanted to acknoledge a reviewer by the name of degrassipoison. Thank you for your lovely comment. It really did make me smile. I know the feeling of getting all excited when there is a newely written chapter to be read.
Ok there are some things i need to clear up. The time is set in medieval times in Great Britain. They weren't in Canada. I know their language is kind of modern but that's because i want people to understand my story. But i also use words like thou, thee, and ye, which all mean 'you'. Thy means 'your' and art means 'are'. Pretty straigh forward right? Another thing? I'm not making Adam a transgender because there were no transgenders in medieval times so let's just keep him as a guy ok? Last thing is that Jake and Clare never dated in my story.
There is no Eclare interaction in this chapter but this fill in chapter is necessary, so bare with me here. I promise that the next chapter will be filled with Eclare goodness and some drama *wiggles eyebrows*
Anyway, I'll stop blabbing and just let you enjoy my writing. Feel free to review, favorite, follow, and recomend to people if you like it.
Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Degrassi or Cry by Kelly Clarkson
ChapterSix
Pretend I'm ok with it all
Act like there's nothing wrong
Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry?
Eli's P.O.V
I feel terrible. I really wanted to kiss Clare. But I know that if I did kiss her, I would have felt guilty about it afterwards. If I ever do get lucky enough to kiss her, I don't want to regret it. I want to savor it and to cherish it. I don't want her to lament it either.
I frown at the thought of Clare marrying a foreign stuck up prince. The thought of someone else making her smile and blush makes me nauseous. Well she seemed pretty upset about the whole thing and I hate to see her miserable. It just breaks my heart.
I stop walking. I need to talk to someone. I can't talk to my mother about this because she'll just tell me it's wrong. Can't talk to my father because he left our family when I was a small child.
Adam
Later that day…
"So let me get this straight, thou love Princess Clare Martin AND she loves thee back?!" Adam paced the floor and had an expression I couldn't exactly read. I couldn't tell if he was excited or terrified.
"Well half of that is true. I do love her, but I'm not sure if she loves me too. It sure seemed so. She was talking about the love of her life and she looked at me, implying that she loved me. AND we almost kissed." I said almost too calm. On the inside I was jumping with joy.
"WHAT? Why didn't thou kiss?" Adam asked. Now he seemed ecstatic.
"Because, Adam, it isn't right! She's royalty and I'm a peasant. Our classes don't mix together!" I yell.
"Come on, Eli, I know you. If that was all that was between thee and the love of thy life, thee would have gone for it by now. What's wrong?" Damn it. Adam knows me so well. I hesitated before I took a deep breath.
"I'm….terrified." I said, ashamed of the reason. I avoided my best friend's gaze.
"Terrified? Of what?" Adam said impatiently. I sighed.
"After Julia, I…" I drift off. I feel my eyes getting moist with tears at the mention of her name.
"I'm scared of falling in love again and loosing Clare just like I did with Julia. I can't go through that again, Adam." I finally shifted my gaze from my hands back to Adam's expression, which consisted of understanding and sympathy.
"Listen, man, I know loosing…her…was hard, but thou need to move on. Stop dwelling on the past and start planning thy future. I know that thou art capable of achieving great things if thou really want to. And if Princess Clare is what thou want, then go for it." I can always count on Adam to cheer me up and pick me up when I fall.
"Thanks, man, for the pep talk, but there's only one problem: Clare's a princess and I'm not a rich, arrogant prince." I said desperately.
"Well half of that is true. Thou art not rich but thou art arrogant." Adam said with a smirk plastered on his smug face.
"Thanks, Adam." I said sardonically. "I might actually pass as a prince after all." I joked around. Adam stopped laughing and he looked like he had just gotten an idea. A knowing smirk slowly crept up on his face.
"Actually that is not such a terrible idea." He said mischievously.
"Oh no" I groaned.
"So this is what we're gonna do..." Great. I can't wait to hear this.
"Where did thee get all of this from?!" I am dressed in a white long sleeved shirt, white pants, and a beige vest with gold buttons. A red jacket with intricate white designs and golden shoulder pads topped the whole outfit. I also wore black boots.
Seriously. What am I wearing?!
I looked over at Adam for an explanation. But instead, he pushed me onto a carriage and shoved a bouquet of daisies at me.
"What? Princess Clare's favorite flower is the daisy. I did my research. Now, remember what I told thee. Romance her with thy words." I gave Adam a confused expression.
"Don't look at me that way. I know thou write her poetry. I've seen the little book of poems. Go read her one and I can assure ye that she will be head over heels for thee." Is he serious?
"Adam, I can't just go up to the castle and announce my love for Clare. I will be beheaded! And even if we do end up together somehow, we need to keep it on the down low. If the queen finds out we will both be in so much trouble. She'll probably kill me AND Clare. "I say, announcing my doubts and fears.
"Stop exaggerating" He responded calmly.
"Have thou met the queen?! I'm not exaggerating!" I stress out.
"Trust me, Eli. I've got a plan."
"Which is…."
"Step one: Trust thy best friend.
Step two: Act like a prince
Step three: Romance the princess
Step four: Leave the rest to me" He sounds so confident. I agree to go through with this.
I groan loudly "I'm going to regret this later but fine! I'll do it."
Adam erupts into a large grin. And with that, he signals the driver to head on to the castle. The man whips his lash and the white horse starts off, pulling the carriage and me to either my death or my wonderful future. My life is in Adams hands and I hope I'm making the right decision.
Clare's P.O.V
Alone. Rejected. Embarrassed. Pathetic. These are all the things I am feeling at the moment. I can't talk to anyone because they'll just judge me. Why would Eli reject me the way he did? I could have sworn that he seemed to like me too. I guess I just misread the whole situation and now I don't even have a friend. I began to cry at the position I am in. I was too engulfed in my thoughts that I didn't even notice the knock at my door.
"Clare? Clare, why are thou crying? What's wrong?" I remove my hands from my flustered face and see that Jake is sitting next to me on my bed with a concerned expression.
"Nothing. I'm fine" I said, but according to the look on his face, he wasn't convinced. I needed to get everything off my chest and just tell him my troubles.
I took a deep breath and explained everything to him since the day I first laid eyes on Eli to what had just happened that same day. After I finished, Jake seemed to be analyzing everything I had just told him. He opened his mouth a few times as if to say something only to close it again.
"Have thou thought of the idea that maybe this Eli character is just looking out for thee?" I don't understand what Jake's trying to say so I continue to stare at him, waiting for elaboration.
"Think about it. He is a peasant and thou art a princess. A relationship would cause many problems. He could lose his life but if he loves thou as much as thou say he does, he probably doesn't care. But thy life could be ruined. Thy mother would be so disappointed, that she might even disown thou. Thou wouldn't be respected as a princess anymore and thou would be a disgrace to the family." Gee, Jake always knows how to cheer me up. Not. I let his words sink in before responding. It makes sense that Eli thinks this relationship is wrong and that he is just trying to protect me, but I can't help but still feel hurt.
"I guess thou art right. So what do I do?" I ask
"I guess the only thing thou can do is try thy best to get over him. I'm sure there's some rich prince out there that is humble and that will treat thee like the queen thou art about to become." I smile at Jake, and then I remember something I've wanted to ask him.
"Jake?" I asked hesitantly as he stood up to leave.
"Yes little sister?" He turned to face me once again.
"Why…why aren't thee next in line to rule the kingdom?" I inquired curiously. I'm sure he has a reasonable explanation as to why he was leaving me the kingdom. He coughed nervously and I noticed his face began to blush madly. I just raised my eyebrows in surprise and waited for a response.
"I uh…met a princess from another kingdom and I asked her to marry me so I'm going to be the king of Yaeloth soon." Jake said as if he was feeling guilty but happy at the same time. How could he do this to me and his family?
"What? Thou art leaving Tralebeth and thy family for another kingdom and a girl thou barely know?! Thou are leaving me to fend for my own? I thought thee would help me when the suitors came. Thou would scare them off and thou would be the big overprotective brother that thou art!" Tears began to form and they threatened to spill. I couldn't help but yell at my step brother. I felt betrayed.
"Why is everyone abandoning me? First, my biological father left me by dying and leaving me without a fatherly figure. Then, Darcy left to live her wonderful new life with her stuck up husband. My mother left me emotionally after she married thy father and practically didn't care how I felt about the whole situation. Eli left to 'protect' me. And now thou art abandoning me to become a king in another kingdom far away, while leaving me to marry some stranger and be miserable for the rest of my life! No one seems to understand all the hardships I've been through. Everyone thinks I'm just an ungrateful little brat whom has everything she could ever want. True I do have the most beautiful clothing and the most extravagant balls and ALL the riches but I don't want any of that. What I don't have is a family that loves and supports me through my hardships. I don't have a family that cares about my happiness or my feelings. I was happier as a child when we were poor, than now that we art rich and powerful because before, I had a perfect family that only revolved around us and nothing else in the world mattered." That's it. That's what broke me. After my sermon, I dropped on my knees and began to cry hysterically. I broke down. After a few moments, I felt a hand soothing my back. Jake then, embraced me and I cried on his shoulder for what seemed like hours but was probably only a few minutes.
After a while, I looked up. I think I'm all out of tears. This was exactly what I needed. It felt good to let all my fears and frustrations out and then having a shoulder to cry on and someone to comfort me.
"Art thou done?" Jake said with a hint of annoyance in his voice. I chuckled and nodded.
"Yes. I think I'm all cried out. Thanks" I simply said. He smiled his brotherly smile and patted me in the back.
"I feel terrible for leaving thou, now. I didn't know it would be this hard for thee. I actually thought thou wanted me to leave." He said jokingly. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to start tearing up again. So instead I just glanced at him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Looking back at all the years I've known him, he is probably the best older brother ever. We rarely talked to each other but we had this instinct that told us that the other needed our help. I would comfort him and he would comfort me. I guess that same instinct brought him to my room today.
"I don't want thou to leave, especially now when I need thou the most but I want thee to be happy. I don't want to hold thou back from thy future with…" I thought for a moment. What did he say her name was? "What's her name? Thou never told me."
"Katherine Matlin, princess of Yaeloth." He stated.
"I would like to meet her one day. She sounds very nice." I smiled at the thought of a friendship with my brother's soon-to-be wife.
"I think thou would get along well with Katie." Jake added. I was about to reply, when we heard some trumpets coming from outside. Jake and I stared at each other in confusion, then stood up immediately and went out to the balcony in my room. I could not believe what I saw.
GASP! What did Clare see? Review! Thanks guys for reading. I'm on summer vacation at last and hopefully i will update faster. I already have a pretty good idea of what's gonna happen. Probably not what you expect. Follow me on instagram eclare_4ever_nd_alwayz for Degrassi pics. I also post the new Degrassi episodes on Youtube. My channel is mexchik123. Although right now I'm having problems with my camera on which i recorded The Time Of My Life so i haven't posted that yet but I'll hopefully have it up soon enough.
Review! Thanks lovies!