16
Intentional End
August 19
Sunday Afternoon
"Do you think she'll like the things we bought for her?" Gleason asked as they rode up to Bobby's mother's floor at Carmel Ridge.
"I'm sure she will. She'll enjoy looking at the photos. We should have put them in an album, though. You watch, she'll say something about them being loose. You watch."
Gleason smiled up at him and squeezed his hand.
"Bobby, Gleason," Mrs. Goren said softly, noticing them as they entered.
"Mom?" Bobby was surprised at her appearance – so thin, she seemed visibly thinner each time he saw her. And her colour. . . "Are you ok, Mom?"
He thought she looked better last Sunday evening when Bobby and Gleason had come to Carmel Ridge to visit the evening they had returned from their two-week honeymoon in Scotland. Bobby had spoken with his mother and her doctors four times while they were away. Mrs. Goren hadn't even realized they had been gone.
"Yes, yes, I'm fine, Bobby," his mother said with a breathiness that had not been there a week ago. "Come, sit down. Gleason, Dear, how are you?"
"I'm fine, Mrs. Goren. How are you? You seem tired," her daughter-in-law answered, setting the shopping bag beside her on the floor.
"Oh, I suppose I am tired. Are you pregnant yet?"
"Mom . . . don't, we're. . ." Bobby said softly, gesturing with both hands; he continued with, "Can I get you anything? Do you want some tea, or juice? Are you warm enough?"
"No, nothing for me; a nap would be good, though. I am so tired, Bobby, just so tired."
Bobby sat back in the chair with his elbows on the arms and his fingers tented in front of his lips. The three were quiet for a moment.
Mrs. Goren perked up with, "Hey, Christian has been around a lot! He is such a dear boy. We talk and talk. I don't know what he does while I nap. He doesn't seem to get into anything, though." Mrs. Goren leaned forward in her chair and turned to look toward the drapes. "There you are, Sweet Pea! Come say 'hi' to your daddy and mommy. Come on, come here."
Christian stood shyly beside the drapes, his head tilted in the manner of his daddy. He knew his daddy and mommy couldn't see him, only Gramma. Slowly the child walked toward her.
Bobby and Gleason both looked toward the drapes and saw drapes. They watched Bobby's mother speak to the air and watched her extend an arm, beckoning and then welcoming someone. "Here's my Sweet Pea. Say 'hi' to Daddy and Mommy." Mrs. Goren sat with her hands folded in her lap; she knew the boy was shy about being touched. "Go on, Dear, say 'hi.'"
Christian looked from his gramma to his daddy and then to his mommy, but said nothing – they couldn't see him and they couldn't hear him when they were awake. He wasn't sure why, but it was different when they were sleeping.
"Bobby, Christian needs some new books. Get your son some new ones, nonfiction this time – books about dinosaurs and outer space."
His eyes slammed shut at her use of 'your son' and Gleason hitched a silent gasp. It sounded so normal, so real. So possible.
"Sure, Mom."
Again, the three sat quietly. Christian sat on the floor and wondered if his daddy and mommy knew how sick Gramma was. Daddy knew something was wrong with her; the child had noticed how surprised Daddy was when he came in and saw Gramma. Go find out, Daddy, the child said to his father.
"Mom, I'm going to speak to the nurse for a minute. Do you want me to bring anything back for you?"
"Huh?" Mrs. Goren seemed to have dozed a minute, "No, I don't need a bath! It's too early for a bath. What are you thinking? A bath! At this hour!"
Gleason and Bobby shared a quick look and Bobby stood and left.
"Mrs. Goren, I'll be going back to Evanston this Wednesday. The semester starts a week from tomorrow. Bobby will come up next weekend."
"School starts already? What month is this? I'll tell you, Gleason, you and Bobby have to think about getting Christian registered for kindergarten soon, he's growing up. He's a smart boy, just like his Uncle Frank and Daddy and you, of course." She looked at the child only she could see, sitting on the floor, playing with his shoelace.
"See," pointing to the invisible child on the floor, "you're going to have to teach him how to tie his shoes. Oh, Bobby had a terrible time learning to do that; he's left-handed, you know. So is Frank, but Frank had no trouble; Frank had no trouble learning just about anything. He's the smart one, my Frank is. Bobby is good, but Frank is smart."
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"Excuse me," Bobby said to the nurse pushing the medicine cart at the far end of the hall.
"Mr. Goren! How nice to see you. What can I do for you?"
"Uh, can I speak with someone about my mother? She looks awfully pale and seems so thin in just a week. I'm, I'm concerned. Is Dr. Shinto in?"
"Let me lock this up and we'll go see who is here," the nurse said, sliding shut the lid to the cart and locking up the drawers. "There we are. Come with me."
Bobby and the short, chubby nurse in navy blue scrubs walked together to the front desk.
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"Gleason, do you plan to have more children? Christian needs a brother or a sister. It's good that you and I can talk about this without Bobby, he's so sensitive about this." Mrs. Goren's face lit up and she leaned forward.
Gleason's lips closed in on each other and she pushed back the loose strands of hair tickling her face. "Oh, Mrs. Goren, I don't –."
"That's another thing, I'm your mother-in-law now and you should call me 'Mom.' Of course, if you are comfortable with that, I mean. You never speak of your own mother. Where is she? Has Bobby met your parents? What about your father? I should meet them, don't you think? It's only right.
"Do you have siblings, Dear? Bobby has Frank and Frank has Bobby. If you have a sibling, you'll never be alone. That's why I think you and Bobby should get going and get pregnant, so Christian will not be alone. I'm sure you and Bobby have a healthy sexual relationship. Oh, I don't mean to embarrass you, Dear." Mrs. Goren saw the red creeping into Gleason's cheeks and noticed how the woman squirmed in her chair and was quiet a moment.
But for only a moment, "When do you think you'll get pregnant? Don't wait too long. I can see that you are not a spring chicken any more, but I'm sure you are young enough to not make the papers by having a child, right?" Bobby's mother leaned forward, smiling widely, looking expectantly.
Everything Bobby's mother was spewing – Gleason's parents, a baby, siblings, getting pregnant – overwhelmed Gleason and she fought tears. Bobby, where are you, she wondered.
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"I'm sorry, Mr. Goren, but Dr. Shinto is away for the weekend. Dr. Marcazie is covering, but has no information about your mother beyond what is in her file. Dr. Shinto will be back on Monday. Perhaps you can call him then. I am sorry."
The disappointment was clear on Bobby's face. "All right; I, I can't read her file, can I?" He knew the answer, but thought he'd try anyway.
"I'm sorry."
He nodded and mumbled, "Thank you," and returned to his mother's room.
"Bobby! When did you get here? Come, sit down. Oh, it is good to see you. Gleason's been here for a while, where were you?"
Bobby glanced at his wife and saw that she had been hiding tears; her eyes were red as was her nose. "Honey?"
She shook her head, and closed her eyes, opening them to see the pain in his face. Gleason reached for his hand and said, "Mrs. Goren, Bobby and I have some things for you from our honeymoon."
"Honeymoon? When did you go on a honeymoon? Why didn't you tell me? Where did you go?" She stopped suddenly and looked down at the space beside her chair, apparently listening. "You know they went away, do you? Scotland?" She looked back up at the couple and said, "Did you two go all the way to Scotland?"
The hairs on the back of Bobby's neck stood up and a chill ran through Gleason. Bobby wiped his face with both hands and sat up, reaching for the shopping bag between his chair and Gleason's. "Uh, Mom, here, look at this. . ." Bobby and Gleason gave his mother her gifts: a flannel-lined, hand-knitted wrap with pockets, a soft woolen throw of Black Watch tartan, and a box of lavender-scented bath powder. His mother was thrilled with each item. "Oh, Bobby, Gleason, thank you so much. I can use each of these. Thank you."
Bobby felt as he had when he was twelve and had saved for a Mother's Day gift – an inexpensive broach he had purchased at Gimbel's – she had liked that gift as well.
"What did you bring for your son?"
The couple stopped dead. Mrs. Goren looked to the floor and listened again, then said, "Christian said you'll bring his gift next time, is that right?"
A nod was all he could manage; then, "We took pictures, Mrs. Goren," Gleason offered.
"Pictures! Are they in albums?"
Bobby smiled and looked at his wife. She returned the smile and handed him the envelope.
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August 22
Wednesday Afternoon
"I love you, Sweetheart," he murmured into her neck as they said good-bye outside security at JFK. Gleason was on her way back to Evanston to prepare for the start of classes the following Monday. Bobby would join her Friday night.
"I love you more. Now, go. You need to get back to work. I'll call you tonight."
Bobby did not want to let go of her. They spent the entire summer together in New York, except for the two-week honeymoon in Scotland, and it had been wonderful. "Call me when you land, ok?"
"I will. I have to go, Love, the line for security is backing up. I love you."
Bobby held her head and kissed her deeply, then let her go. "I love you."
Gleason waved and turned to enter the security queue. Bobby watched her and then he left, heading back to OPP.
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