A/N: I will update this once a day mon-fri till it is complete (probably 7-10 chapter) also i apologize for any timeline error also sorry for the short chapter today.
How the great have fallen, eight years ago I wouldn't have so much as let a man kiss me. But Alexandra Renee Cabot died on the , I hoped for a kiss because if it wasn't a kiss it was pain. If he didn't want to rape me, and that's what I call it because it hurts there's no pleasure in it I let him have my way with me so he won't hit me, so he wont slam my head thew the wall that's it. Tonight I knew as soon as he walked in it wouldn't be sex he would take.
"Damn it, Julie, I told you to make me diner," James bellowed lunging at me. I didn't bother to say that diner was done, because he'd just find some other reason to be mad at me. He charged forward till he could grab my arm. He jerked me across his body, throwing me to the ground. As I fell his boot made contact with my ribs, I felt something break. I cried out curling in on myself. He grabbed my hair dragging me down the hall and into the living room, I tried to crawl but he was moving too fast. As we were moving he stepped on my hand I felt my shoulder rip from its socket. I tried to pull it to me and felt bones break. The arm rolled in the skin, and I almost threw up. My head clipped the coffee table, and blood flowed into my eyes. I gave up and let James drag me across the floor. I knew I was in shock, my arm flopped as he dragged me. But I just surrendered, my vision blurred as he thew me across the room into the wall. I saw the inside of the wall as I did so many time in these last few years.
They say abuse starts gradually, but in my case it hadn't. I'd already been isolated when he found me, I'd had no friends, been new in town. I was in witness protection I had no one in Seattle so I'd been an easy mark for him. And now it was five years later and I had no way out of this life.
"Bitch, when I tell you to do something you do it, how many times do I have to teach you that one god damn lesson... Huh? Answer me!" He kicked me again, and I whimpered. He dragged me from the wall throwing me across the room. My head hit the end table beside the couch. The next thing I knew he was on top of me hands around my throat.
I forced myself to go away inside, I shut down detaching myself from my body. I went to the only place in my head that still belonged to Alexandra, the part that wasn't Julie or Emily. I went to the place where it wasn't James choking me, where I wasn't in pain. I went to the place where it was Addison choking me, where she was careful where it wouldn't even leave a mark, where it was just a touch of forplay. Alexandra loved to be choked, but Julie was scared she would die. Julie was scared James would kill her, so I let my mind become Alex I let myself enjoy bring choked, I was Alex until I blacked out.