I opened the door to find Callie on my doorstep, I knew what she wanted and I was willing to give it to her, she wanted to punish me for the affair I'd had, I was willing to take whatever she threw at me.
"Arizona," she growled, I let my gaze fall to the carpet but I let her in. I heard the door click shut,but I didn't look up. I felt her ball in my hair in her hand and force my head back, I tried to look down, but ended up looking in her eyes. Her eyes told me everything, she was angry but, under that was pain. I knew I had been the one to put that hurt in her eyes. I felt awful for it, I wanted her to hurt me, to make it even.
"Arizona," she said again, " this is your last chance to back out." I was glad for the chance but I wouldn't take it.
"I meant what I said I'll do anything you want to fix this, I'll get down in my knee and beg," I told her.
"Than give me a safe word," she said.
""New York," I said.
"Alright, Arizona I have rules, and I don't know if ill be able to forgive you but I'm going to try," she said in my ear. All wanted was for her forgiveness I was willing to do whatever it took.
"I understand," I said.
"Arizona for tonight, you have to promise to use your space word if you feel at all afraid or if I cross a line," she begun.
" I know the rules mistress," I said softly.
"Good girl, now strip," she commanded, and I obeyed. I was a little shy about my leg but I still did it.
I knew where this was going, I'd played this game before, never with Callie, but I'd played the game.
"Have you eaten yet?" Her question was gentle and caught me off guard. I almost looked up but knew not to.
"No miss," I replied.
"Good lets order in," she said pulling one if the menus off the fridge and making the call. I was glad that she had thought about ordering food because I hadn't eaten since yesterday. She knew me well enough to know what to order for me, she even ordered enough for me to have for lunch tomorrow.
It was barely taken fifteen minuets to have the food to be delivered, we'd eaten in silence. I wasn't truest afraid of Callie but I was nervous about what was going to happen, and I could tell that she was also nervous. She looked up at me then.
"Arizona, you know know to play this game better than I do, what do I do? how do I do this?" She asked.
"Callie this is your show you do what you want, i can stop you if I have to but I trust you, Callie do what you want with me, I'll do whatever you want me to just say the words," It was the best I could do, I didn't know what she wanted.
"I don't know what I want though, Arizona that's the problem, part of me wants to hurt you, part of me can't stand the idea of hurting you. Another part of me just wants to leave you and never look back but, then I can't stand the idea of living life without you," she said.
"So how about we start with this," I waved around the room, "and when you decide what you want you can do it until then, we just try to focus on being us again, Callie I don't want to lose you and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to fix us, just when you come up with a way for me to make it up to you, tell me,"
"I can do that," she agreed.