A/N: Now for the chapter you've, er, hopefully all been waiting for. Thanks to my beta-reader MissBubbles. Please review, it makes me update quicker. I've written up to Chapter 18 but without reviews I hardly see the point in updating promptly...
Summary: Lost and sick in the middle of nowhere, Sirius falls into the hands of a woman whose secrets will tie inextricably into the fate of his godson. What will happen when he finds himself attracted to this strange witch?
The Complexities of the Heart
By katemary77
Chapter Ten
Where do you go when you're lonely?
Where do you go when you're blue?
Where do you go when you're lonely?
I'll follow you.
- Ryan Adams, When the Stars Go Blue
"You're an Empath!"
There was an uncomfortable pause in which the occupants of the kitchen glanced between Anna and Hermione
Anna smiled weakly.
"Does this girl know everything?"
The awkward silence that had settled in the kitchen was interrupted when a dark-feathered owl flew into the room.
Tentatively, Arthur reached forward and relieved the owl of the letter that was tied around its leg.
"It's from Dumbledore." Arthur let out a sigh of relief. "They aren't expelling Harry."
Everybody visibly relaxed. Still, though, there was an air of tension as Hermione turned to Anna.
"I'm right, though, aren't I?"
Anna grimaced and looked around the table, but there were no accusatory glances. Instead, all she found was curiosity and a mild sense of confusion. Probably from Ron, she allowed herself to think with an inward grin.
So she nodded.
"I knew there was something!" Sirius burst forth.
"What?" Anna asked, confused. "I thought you knew!"
"You thought I knew?" he asked, obviously perplexed. "How would I know?"
"Because I told you my mother was an Empath… Damn, I thought you were being remarkably mature about it. Wishful thinking, I guess," she finished ruefully.
Suddenly, Sirius felt like a great idiot. The look Remus was giving him didn't help either.
"Oh, shut up, Moony."
"Why didn't you tell us?" Ginny asked, looking a little hurt.
Anna floundered. She hated this.
"Well, not a lot of people are comfortable around Empaths. Some people feel we are an invasion of privacy, of sorts."
"It certainly takes some getting used to," Bill put in with a wry grin in Anna's direction. "Ann can be a bit of a know-it-all."
"When did Anna tell you?" Fred asked.
Bill shrugged, and Sirius tried to suppress the jealousy rising within him.
"Fourth year, maybe? But after four years of Anna telling me how I felt better than I could explain myself, it didn't really come as much of a surprise. It's not really a big deal, anyway. Empaths aren't incredibly rare."
Anna nodded.
"A lot of people are born Empaths but don't realise because testing isn't done anymore. Without proper training, they just think that they're perceptive people; sensitive to others. I had the advantage of a mother who was a very powerful Empath and she trained me, although she died before I could become as good as her. Even Muggles can be born Empaths. You'd know them as psychologists, Hermione, or sometimes even doctors and nurses."
While the older witches and wizards around the table seemed to understand what was being said, the Gryffindor students appeared a little confused.
"So what does it actually mean?" Ron finally enquired. "Being an Empath?"
Anna moved to explain but Hermione interrupted with a scholarly tone. Anna sat back, sharing an amused look with Remus.
"Empaths can feel what the people around them are feeling all the time. They're famous for being the best negotiators and mediators in times of war. There are different grades of Empathy. Some can actually heal past emotional trauma and I read that the most advanced Empaths can even project their own emotions to those around them." Hermione finished with a hesitant, almost questioning look at Anna, who gave the younger witch a smile and a nod.
"So you can really feel what we're all feeling, right now?" Ginny asked.
"Yes," came the reply, "But I moderate it. My mother taught me how to filter the emotions around me, otherwise it can get too much; too exhausting. Sometimes when I meet particular people," – Sirius could hear the hesitation in her voice as she looked at him and quickly looked away – "Who've had… traumatic experiences… hard pasts, it's very overwhelming and I can react badly."
"Like when you met me," Sirius breathed, suddenly understanding. "You passed out cold!"
Anna nodded.
"You were… er, a bit much, Sirius," she said. "Luckily enough, you passed out and I was able to collect myself."
Sirius grinned.
"Damn!" he cursed. "I thought it was my dashing good looks that had you swooning into my arms."
The joke broke the slight tension and serious atmosphere of the kitchen as the room's occupants laughed and the Animagi's grin widened. Anna gave him a small smile and he understood; this was a peace offering for his mistakes in the last weeks. He had been forgiven.
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Anna sighed and pressed her back against the couch, fingering the pages of her favourite book – Pride and Prejudice. Hermione's talk of a 'miniseries' had left Anna with a desire to read the novel again. She was intrigued and couldn't wait until the kids' next outing in which Hermione was sure to acquire the necessities to view the show.
"A sickle for your thoughts?"
Anna grinned and turned.
"I'd hope that they'd be worth a little more than that, Sirius."
He shrugged, "Maybe a Galleon, then."
He was standing in the doorway, leaning casually against the frame. Anna fought the breath that caught in her throat; sometimes she forgot how attractive he was. With Molly's generous feedings, Sirius had filled out and had lost the gauntness that had once marked him as a prisoner. He had let his hair grow a little longer; the dark waves now rested on the nape of his neck. In the dark room his eyes were almost black and Anna admired how the shadows played on the sharp angles of his face. He was beautiful, she realised, and the word didn't lessen his masculinity; only enhanced it.
She noticed then that he held a hairbrush loosely in his hand. He gestured to her with it and after a moment's hesitancy, she nodded. He joined Anna on the couch, positioning her until she was seated in front of him, nestled in the V shape that his legs made. Slowly, carefully, he loosened her hair from the braid she kept it in and moved the brush through the chestnut waves.
"How are you?" he said at last.
"I'm okay," she answered honestly. "And you?"
He chuckled.
"Do I really need to answer that?"
Anna gave a small nod.
"Kind of. I filter you a lot."
"Why?"
Anna shrugged. She didn't want to tell him the real reason; that she was incredibly attracted to him and knowing your crush's every thought could be a little unnerving. Besides, it felt like cheating and she thought he deserved some measure of privacy if – by chance – he felt the same way.
Instead, she said, "Because I don't want to hurt myself. Last time I was completely open to you I passed out."
"What if you did it bit by bit?" he asked, "Little by little?" It was here that she noticed her hairbrush had been replaced by his hands. His fingers sifted through her heavy locks and Anna felt a shiver as he brushed against her neck.
"That might work," she admitted, turning to look at him over her shoulder. "But do you really want that? If I get rid of my blocks, I'll feel everything."
Sirius gazed at her straight in the eye, and it seemed to her then that his eyes were as deep as night.
"I have nothing to hide."
Anna's heart both leapt and plummeted at this admission. He could either mean what she (desperately!) hoped he meant, or he could be telling her in an offhand way that he felt nothing for her at all.
"Are you sure?" she asked and he nodded.
Anna turned fully to face Sirius, her legs curling into his. Uncertainly, she reached her hand to touch his face. Sensing her reserve, Sirius grasped her hand and guided it to his cheek. He held it there as she closed her eyes and breathed deep.
Slowly, slowly, Anna began unbuilding the defences she had built against this man in her mind. It was the same as she had done with Severus; when she had been knowledgeable enough to understand the mind-blocks she had thrown up in defence as a child and old enough to handle what was being come undone. Stone by stone, layer by layer. It was tedious and tiring but Anna knew that if she did it any other way, if she simply ripped her walls to the ground in front of this man, she could hurt herself.
And so he came to her slowly, trickling through the gaps and holes she was making. Resonating pain from his loss, his suffering in Azkaban. Hatred for the one had put him there – the traitor, the once-friend, the Judas. Worry, love and awe for his charge, his Harry. Frustration at his situation, at being stuck here in the place he hated above all others. And then – taking Anna completely off guard – there was attraction, admiration, affection for her.
As Anna reached the last bricks she shuddered and gasped. There was a splitting pain in her head, but after a moment it was gone.
When she opened her eyes, he was watching her, waiting. He slid his hand along her arm and to her neck, moving her until she was pressed against him, her hands on his chest. They kissed, then. The soft, warm press of lips, lingering long enough just to share breath and the sigh that passed from her mouth into his own. When his hand moved to the back of her neck they kissed again, harder this time, with parted mouths and tongues and the pressure of his hand keeping her in to taste and touch. Time interminable passed as they sat against each other, during which they heard nothing but the slow, soft sounds of one another's breaths and heartbeats.
Finally, Sirius' hands moved to her waist and he lifted Anna to her feet, quickly following.
"I'll walk you to your room."
Anna nodded and felt her heart lift when he grasped her hand as they moved through the house. She was still so uncertain about what was happening here, despite the waves of reassurance she felt rolling off Sirius. Would this be the extent of their relationship? Certainly, she liked him, but in the circumstances could it go anywhere? Did he want it to go anywhere? Sirius had been a notorious heartbreaker in his youth, had he changed after twelve long years in Azkaban? Anna shook her head, clearing her thoughts. Her mind was for tomorrow, tonight was for her heart.
When they reached Anna's door, Sirius bent his head and Anna rose on her toes to meet his lips. His strong hands held her against him and his mouth was warm and firm.
"Goodnight," he breathed when their lips pouted.
She nodded silently, not trusting her voice, and slipped into her room.
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"Good news!" were the first words Sirius was greeted with on his emergence in the kitchen.
"Oh?"
Arthur nodded and finished his mouthful of toast.
"Harry is coming! Dumbledore dropped around earlier this morning to let us know. Remus, Tonks, Moody and a few others are picking him up this evening."
Sirius felt a great wave of relief wash over him, even as frustration built again. He wanted to be the one to pick up his godson! He was moments away from voicing this when Anna dropped into the chair beside him at the table and said, "Don't even think about it. You know you can't leave."
"But he's my godson! And beside, nothing is going to happen. Not with Moody around anyway. Constant vigilance!"
A few of the ex-auror's students laughed.
"Fine," Anna relented. "But if it's okay for you to go then I might owl Dumbledore and let him know that I'd like to be in the team as well."
"What? No, Anna, it's too dangerous!"
She raised an eyebrow at him.
Sirius slumped in his chair, realising he'd been defeated.
"Fine."
"Really, Sirius, I don't know what you're complaining about," Fred – or was it George? – said from down the table. "I couldn't think of a more beautiful woman to be under house-arrest with."
Anna blushed prettily as Fred gave an exaggerated wink.
"Really, Fred, you're incorrigible," Anna joked, taking her coffee cup to the sink and rinsing it out.
"Ah, but you love me anyway."
Anna clutched her hand to her heart and theatrically tossed her hair over her shoulder.
"You're right, Fred. I can't hold it in any longer. I've thrown caution to the wind and fallen in love with a handsome, ginger-haired, fifteen-year-old jokester."
"Seventeen," Fred corrected with a grin as he stood and prowled toward her.
"Ah," Anna sighed as Fred grasped her around the waist and pulled her roughly against him, "Age ain't nothing but a number, baby."
Fred winked over at those avidly watching at the table and lowered Anna into a melodramatic dip – ending with a loud, smacking kiss – to catcalls and whistles from their audience.
"Oi!" Sirius stood up and growled playfully. "Hands off my woman!"
"Your woman?" Fred argued, releasing Anna. "Monsieur, you are mistaken," he continued in a terrible French accent, "Zis woman belongs to me! I challenge you to a duel!"
Fred drew an imaginary sword.
Sirius cocked an eyebrow.
"Not if I make off with her first."
And then, sidestepping Fred, Sirius grabbed Anna, tossed her over his shoulder and made for the door.
At the doorway he turned and called out, "Viva la France!" before disappearing upstairs.
Back in the kitchen, Remus was grudgingly handing over a galleon to his old best student.
Hermione grinned and accepted.
"Told you so."
"How did you guess they'd get together by the end of the week?"
Hermione tapped her finger against her nose.
"A woman knows."
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Upstairs, Sirius was nearing his bedroom. Anna was still struggling over his shoulder, although she had calmed down somewhat now that they weren't ascending the stairs.
"Put me down, you great oaf!" she cried resignedly, knowing it would do no good.
"Almost there," he told her, patting her on the backside.
"Hey!" she cried in protest, and he chuckled, tossing her onto his bed. Quickly, Sirius covered her body with his own and kissed her soundly.
"That'll teach you to mess with kids."
Anna laughed.
"While I've always wanted a boy-toy, I think I prefer my men a little gruffer," she told him, tracing her hand along the stubble on his jaw. "Sirius?"
"Yes, Annie?"
"I just wanted to ask – I mean – I just need to…" she trailed off. "Damn, I've never been good at this."
"What, constructing sentences?"
Anna pushed him lightly in the chest and he rolled off her, settling beside her on the bed.
"What I'm trying to say, Sirius, is that I need to know where this is going." She sighed. "I mean, this is great – don't get me wrong. I just don't like diving into something unless I know in which direction I should be swimming."
Sirius brushed a hand along Anna's cheek.
"I like you," he told her, "And after that, who knows?"
She nodded, smiled, and with a beautiful shyness kissed him softly on the lips.
"Okay."
A/N: Remember to review! Otherwise I might forget to update again :P Plus, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy...