Disclaimer: I don't own GH or any of the characters.

Chapter 12

Jason walked off the elevator at almost 2 in the morning. He really hoped that Liz would be sleep so that he could just fall asleep on the couch and deal with her in the morning. He lost all hope for that when he opened the door and saw Liz wide awake on the couch staring at the fire place. She turned to face him when she heard his keys hit the desk. Her face was stained with tears. Her eyes were red and swollen. It hurt his heart to see her in pain like this and he knew that he was about to make it worst. He didn't step towards her and she made no move in his direction. She turned to face the fireplace again. She was looking at the photos on the mantle. The photos were those of happier times; Jake's first birthday, a vacation on Sonny's island, Cameron's first day of kindergarten and one of her and Jason that Emily snapped one day at the park. That seemed like forever ago. It was almost like some parallel universe. Jason decided that putting this off wasn't going to help the situation any but decided that he would make it Elizabeth's decision if they talked now or in the morning.

"Do you want to talk now or do you want to wait until the morning." He said; her back still facing him. He saw her move her hand to her face to wipe away a fresh batch of tears. Without even turning to face him, she replied,

"Jason, why put it off?" She finally turned to face him again.

"Liz, I don't even know where to start."

"Why not start by telling me where you stand as far as Jake is concerned. Then we'll take it from there."

"Liz, you know I love Jake more than anything but I can't deny the fact that he is Lucky's son. When Lucky found out the truth, he walked away. He let me be Jake's father because that's what we believed to be true. Now I have to give him the same respect."

"Jason, for all we know this could be a lie. You just seem a little too sure that Jake isn't yours. Why are you so willing to believe it?"

Jason didn't want to tell her just yet how he knew it wasn't a lie. He needed to go along with Sam's plan for Alexis."I can't deny biology. I know my blood type. You know your blood type. You know Jake's blood type and if he were my son, he would have an O type blood."

She couldn't deny that. She knew that Jake's blood type was A positive. She made sure to know just in case he ever needed a transfusion. She never bothered to ask Jason his type because the tests said that he was the father. She just assumed as much; like he did. "Okay Jason. So now what? You turn your back on Jake and act like you're not the only father he has ever known. And what about Cameron? He has accepted you as his father too. He remembers Lucky but Lucky has been out of the picture for so long. So you just abandon my boys at the drop of a hat and it's supposed to be okay. Am I supposed to just accept that?"

"I never said that I was going to disappear and act like Jake and Cam never meant anything to me. I just said that I will not stand in Lucky's way of being an active father to his son. I will still be there for the both of them whenever they need me."

"Gee, thanks for being so generous Jason. If I didn't know any better, I would think that you were saying this was the end of us."

Jason looked up at the ceiling and then out of the corner of his eye before returning his gaze to Elizabeth. He took a deep breath and said, "It is."

Elizabeth's eyes went wide. Her voice cracked as she began to speak. "Are you serious? So without Jake, there is no us? Are you trying to tell me that you have only been with me because you thought that you were Jake's father?"

"That's not what I'm saying. I love you Elizabeth but I honestly think that I was in love with my son's mother. Jake isn't my son though. I think we were both fooling ourselves. I mean come on, if you had never gotten pregnant with Jake and it never came back that I was the father, this, we would never have happened. My life would always have been too dangerous for you. Jake made us a family. And now Jake needs to be with his real father." His voice trailed off a little. "He needs to be with Lucky."

"Jason you must really take me for some kind of desperate fool. I know that you love me. You showed me everyday for almost 3 years. You shared your bed with me. I felt the passion we shared when we made love countless times. I feel safe with you Jason. I stopped fearing what could happen and I chose to be with you regardless of the risks. I didn't need Jake to help me to see that I was in love with you. He only helped me to realize that I was willing to take that risk with you so that we could be a family."

"Look Elizabeth, I don't know how to explain it but I just don't feel that same connection to you that I did before. And I guess that the truth coming out that Jake is not my son has just helped me to realize that I can't pretend like everything is fine anymore."

"Jason what the hell is really going on here? This goes way beyond Jake and his paternity. Why is it that you are not fighting for the family that you claimed you wanted so badly once before?" She tried to read his eyes but she couldn't. She walked toward him. "Tell me, Jason, why you don't want to be with me anymore."

He saw her trying to read him so he said, "Look me in my eyes Elizabeth and tell me what's going on in my head. Tell me that you can read my thoughts. That you can see exactly what's on my mind just by looking at me." He said this because he knew that Sam could always read him, even when he tried hard so that she couldn't. Sam always said that it was because she knew his heart.

She was at a lost for words. How is it that he knew her well enough to tell that she was trying to read him but she didn't know him well enough to read him back? "I…I don't know Jason. I don't know what's going on in your mind. I just know that 2 days ago we were happy and we were making love and raising our boys together and today you are telling me that we are over and that you will always be there if the boys need anything like we can be tossed aside so easily."

He hadn't been sure if he was going to tell her about Sam yet or if he would let that come out later on down the line when Sam was released from the hospital but he suddenly decided it was just best to put it all out there. "Liz I guess I should tell you that I was at the hospital with Sam tonight. She woke up and we talked. I've been fighting my feelings for her since I first saw her when she got into to town. I'm not fighting them anymore."

"What? So this is what all this is about? You have been fighting what feelings exactly Jason? Love, like, lust, indifference? Please tell me what feelings you are no longer fighting for her." She was hurt and angry and had always feared that this day would come.

"Sam is the one that I want to be with. Seeing her in the hospital like that, made it all come back. I love her."

"Wow, Jason. Do your feelings really run hot and cold like that? Can you love me one day and suddenly not love me anymore the next?"

"That's just it Liz. I don't love you any less. I…" He stopped himself. He could be brutally honest and sometimes he had to stop himself from saying exactly what he felt. He knew he was breaking her heart and it wouldn't help to say the words that were about to follow. He just thought them to himself. I don't love you any less but I just don't think I really loved you any more either. I have always loved you as a friend. I thought we were building a family but from experience a family built on a lie never lasts, not in the way you hope. It didn't work for me and Carly when I lied about being the father of Michael. She ended up with Sonny and that's how it was meant to be. It didn't work out for me and Sam either when I changed the results to that DNA test to say I was her baby's father. The truth came out and the baby died. Sam and I found love after the lie played out and no longer existed. And our love would have lasted if it weren't for Alexis.

"What Jason, you might as well finish." She said.

"I don't love you any less Elizabeth and I will always love you."

"As a friend Jason? Am I supposed to go back to being your friend after all this time together? Jason, I thought that I would be your wife and we would raise a family together. I gave up everything to be with you."

At those last words Jason's eyes went dark. "What the hell do you mean; you gave up everything to be with me? You gave up nothing Elizabeth. You have you're children, you're job, you're friends, everything you had before. Tell me what exactly it is that you gave up to be with me."

"I gave up my independence Jason. I am followed all the time. There's always someone watching me. The only time I have any real privacy is when I'm in this house. My grandmother and I aren't nearly as close as we used to be because she doesn't approve of my being with you."

"These are the choices you made by choosing to be with me. I told you what being with me entailed. You decided that you could deal with it. Obviously being with me was more important to you than your relationship with your grandmother. Don't try to put the blame on me for that. You had every right to choose. And the choices that you made, I never once held against you. I never hated you for asking me to let you raise Jake with Lucky when we thought he was mine. Look Elizabeth, I'm not asking you to like this decision but I at least hope that you can accept it, like I accepted the decisions you made in the past."

"Jason, please don't do this. I know that we can get past this. We can rebuild. You just need to get passed the hurt you're feeling over Jake. You're the only father he knows. Lucky is a stranger to him and I'm certain that you can make Lucky see that it's for the best if we leave things as they are for now until Jake is old enough to understand." She was begging him not to give up on her.

"Do you even hear yourself right now? You really expect men to give up their right to be a father just to appease you. I was willing to do it and it killed me to watch you and Lucky with Jake. I hated knowing that Lucky got to be there doing all the things that I was supposed to be doing. I won't ask Lucky to do that anymore. I will do anything I possibly can to make this as easy as possible for you and the boys. You guys can stay here as long as you want. I'll get a room at the Metrocourt. But Liz we are over. I will be with Sam when she comes home from the hospital. That's it."

Liz still didn't realize how selfish she was being. It wasn't about Jason, Lucky, Cameron, or Jake. This was about her. She had fought it for so long and she finally gave into the feelings she had for Jason. They had gotten a second chance at being together and she had finally decided to take it. She could not lose him now and not to Sam. She had to think of a way to make him stay. She searched for the words that would keep him with her. There had to be something that would make him realize that he was in love with her. She hadn't wanted to admit that since Sam had been in town he had been sleeping on the couch. She wasn't ready to admit that she could feel the difference when they made love the other night. And now that she thought about it, she was pretty certain that the dream he had the other night was about Sam and not her. But she didn't care. She would not let him go. Not without a fight. "Jason, I love you doesn't that mean anything to you anymore?"

"Not in the way that you want it to. I don't know what else to say other than good bye."

"Jason, I won't just let you walk away from me. It's not that simple. We have two children to think about."

"Elizabeth, you have two children to think about what's best for. The reason for you and Lucky's divorce was because you two didn't want the children growing up in a home filled with anger and lack of trust. What kind of home will they be growing up in if I'm in love with someone else?"

"Are you saying you don't trust me anymore?"

"I'm saying that I don't trust you to do what's right for your children if all you're concerned about it losing me."

"You are what is right for my boys and for me. I'm not going to lose you after all we've been through."

"I'm trying to be as honest as I possibly can without being cruel Elizabeth. This is not your decision to make for me. We are over, done, finished. Case closed. Please don't make me say anything that you'll regret."

Elizabeth was desperate now. She had to make him see that he still loved her. She stepped in and grabbed his face and pulled him into a kiss. He pulled back and pushed her away.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He wasn't angry with her. He understood that she still loved him.

"Jason, I needed for you to feel it. If you would just kiss me, then you would feel the love you still have for me."

Jason decided to give her what she wanted. He leaned down and held her face. He kissed her on the lips and he could feel her try to pull him into her mouth even further as if she was trying to suck him into her completely. She had grabbed his head like she had done so many times before. He didn't put forth any effort into the kiss. He let her do all the work. After a few seconds she got it. The passion he felt for her was gone. There was no longer any heat between them. The kiss was one sided. She hungered for his tongue the way she had for years and she sought it out now. Her tongue squirmed around in his mouth hoping to connect with his so that they could feel that spark that had been there not so long ago. She let the kiss linger for a few moments before she attempted to pull him over to the couch. Maybe making love to her would help him to see that they still had a chance. But after a couple of steps, he stopped her and pulled away. "Jason don't stop. Make love to me."

"Liz, I only kissed you so that you could feel the difference. I know that you did. That kiss doesn't mean that I'm going to sleep with you."

He backed away from her. She took a step closer and he put one hand up while wiping his mouth with the other.

"So what, I disgust you now Jason?" She said.

"No it's not that but I don't know how else to explain it to you to make you understand so I'm going to leave and let you figure out how it is you're going to move on. I hope that we can go back to being friends. Like I said I will always love you, I will always care and I will be here if you need anything."

"I need you, Jason. That's what I need. Can you give me that?"

"I'm sorry Elizabeth, that's the one thing I can't do for you. If things were different, maybe. But just like I had to follow my heart once before with you, I have to do that now with Sam. I'm not doing this to intentionally hurt you but I can't pretend like it's not happening. It would only hurt you worst in the end."

Jason turned to go upstairs and get some clothes. This took almost 2 hours to play out and he knew that he hadn't gotten anywhere with Liz so he figured he would let her deal with it in her own way. The more he tried to make her understand, the less she seemed to get it. He never noticed how needy she seemed until now. He never intended to hurt her and there was nothing he could do to stop the hurt. After he packed some clothes he headed back downstairs to find that Liz was gone. He figured she needed air or space. He was half relieved that she wasn't there when he was leaving out. The other part of him was in fact hurting over the loss of their relationship. After all, it wasn't like he never loved her at all. And it wasn't like he didn't still love her as a friend or as an ex lover. He somehow managed to always love them all even after they were over. He still loved Carly. She was now his best friend, along with Sonny. He loved Courtney after they had gotten a divorce. He knew that they just weren't right for each other. He had been angry at Robin for telling AJ the truth about Michael but she was in fact his first love and he still cared very much for him and it was obvious that she still cared as well. Otherwise she would have never gone to such great lengths to save his life. And then there was Sam. He and Sam had been through so much together. Life and death situations, one right after another. And she stood by his side through it all. The only time she was ever willing to let go of him is when she thought that it was what was best for him. He would always love her for the way she had accepted him for who he was. He never once felt like he had to sacrifice himself or who he was to be with her. She never questioned him or his work and because of that he felt like he could tell her things about his life and job that he had never been willing to share with anyone else. Sam had his back whenever and wherever he needed. It amazed him that it took him until now to realize that Sam was his partner in life and love. She feared nothing, especially him. As dangerous as he was, he was always where she had felt most safe. She had tried to tell him this on so many different occasions but he just didn't get it until now. Jason grabbed his jacket, keys and bag and headed back out the door to the Metrocourt.

It was four in the morning and Liz was down by the docks. She had walked out the house after Jason headed upstairs. She wouldn't say goodbye to him. She knew that it was over in her head but her heart just wouldn't grasp the concept. She stared out at the water and asked out loud, "What do I have to do? How do I make this right?"

She didn't know he was standing there until she heard his voice reply to her question.

"How do you make what right, Elizabeth?"

She jumped at the sudden sound of his voice and turned around. She could tell he had been drinking. "Lucky what are you doing out here?"

"Drowning my sorrows. You know it's what we Spencer's do best." He said as he took a drink from the bottle he had in his hand. "What are you doing out here this late, with no jacket?"

"Nothing. I just needed to think." She hadn't realized how chilly it was until he mentioned that she didn't have a jacket. All she had on was a tank top and jeans. She suddenly felt a chill and she wrapped her arms around her body.

"Liz you should really go home before you catch a cold."

"Lucky, I don't even know where home is for me right now." She shivered again. He offered her the bottle he had been drinking from.

"Here take a sip of this. It will take the chill off." She gratefully took the bottle and took a swallow. It burned going down.

"Since when did you start drinking Jack Daniels?" She asked turning the bottle around to look at it.

"When I found out about Jake. Well after the park incident. After you came and picked up Cameron, I went to the Haunted Star and grabbed the first bottle I saw. I just wanted anything to make me forget."

"That's what I could use right now. Anything to make me forget. At least for a little while." She said as the tears reappeared and she took another swallow. This one a lot longer than the first.

"What's wrong Liz? What did you mean by you don't even know where home is for you right now?"

"Jason is leaving me for Sam." And she took another drink.

"I kind of figured it was a matter of time before that happened."

"Why would you think that? I thought that you and Sam were happy together."

"We were but we weren't "the one" for each other. We weren't in love. I went to see her right after the boat explosion and she kept calling out for Jason. She was half delirious. I know she was speaking from her subconscious or her heart." He grabbed the bottle from her a took a sip. "I know we were over and we had accepted it but it didn't hurt any less knowing that she thought he hated her."

They walked over and sat on the bench. They hadn't been this close without reason for years. But now they sat and talked as old friends both looking for an answer that neither one of them could really give the other. Liz wanted Jason and wanted to know what she could do to win him back. Lucky wanted to know if it wasn't Liz that kept him from his son than who was it.

"This is weird, the two of us sitting here talking about our love lives with other people to each other." She said.

"Yeah. We used to be really good friends Elizabeth. We could talk about anything before." He took another drink. The sun was beginning to come up. "Well it looks like we should be getting to our respective homes. It's getting really early." He was drunk but sober at the same time and his joke made her laugh.

"Home. Where would that be for me? Where is that for you?"

"This morning, home is at The Haunted Star over there. I got the keys from my dad and permission to abuse the bar in anyway I see fit. I was told just not to touch his bourbon or his gin."

"Would you mind sharing in the abuse of the bar? I could use a distraction. The penthouse will bring memories and I really don't want to see the boys in this state."

"Sure why not. I'm pretty sure there's enough booze for the two of us. Especially since my dad isn't there."

"With Luke around the only thing we'd be drinking is water and chasers."

"You're right. Come on let's go."

They made their way onto the Haunted Star and headed over to the bar. Lucky placed the bottle of JD on the counter and stepped behind the bar. "And what can I get for you Miss Webber?"

"I'll take a bottle of your finest tequila. Oh and leave the spout off please."

"There you go and for the house a bottle of vodka. Would you like a glass?"

"Not at all." She said taking the bottle to the head.

After they finished about half of their bottles. The both sat at the bar laughing about how their relationships started when the relationship they had together ended and how now that their separate relationships ended here they were together but not together. They got quiet for a while when Liz decided that the subject needed to be addressed. "Lucky I'm sorry about what's going on with Jake and his paternity. I really wish this wasn't happening."

"Liz, can you look me dead in the eye and tell me that you really didn't know."

"I really didn't. Years ago, I hoped that the baby was yours, then the results came back but we lost so must trust by then and Jason was around and helping me out without even knowing that the baby was his but he was with Sam. I was keeping this huge secret thinking that I was doing what was best for everyone involved. You would be sober, my family wouldn't be split, Jason was with Sam and they were planning on starting a family. It just seemed like a logical lie at first. It's strange to call it a lie now when it actually turned out to be the truth."

"Have you thought about how different things would be if it had just come out in the beginning that Jake really was my son?"

"Honestly, I haven't yet. I was still trying to convince myself that Jason is Jakes father until he came home tonight to tell me we were done. And even now I am trying to think about how I can get him back."

Surprisingly, this didn't hurt Lucky's feelings. He knew that Liz genuinely loved Jason. He did have one question though. "What is it about Jason Morgan that has you women so head over heels that no matter what he does, you don't want to let him go? Except for Sam, but it took Jason threatening her life before she realized that she had NO chance of getting him back. But yet and still she never let go of him in her heart."

"Jason has a way about him that when he loves you, he let's his guard down and you get to see this side of him that is off limits to everyone else. That's what's so endearing about him. Because when you get to see that part of him, you really do feel like there is no one else in the world for him but you. And for that time that he does feel that way about you, you know that no one else exists for him except you."

"Wow that was profound."

"That's what it is to be loved by Jason Morgan. The man that all the doctors said couldn't feel anything."

"I remember when you used to feel that way about me."

"No, Lucky, when I loved you it was different. I got to see what other people saw. You let your guard down for others. Not many but you did. What we shared though was beautiful because we grew into love. We came from a place where the only people we trusted were each other. You were my friend, and my rock. You were my first love. Everything we experienced together was new and exciting and we grew through the stages. We went from puppy love, to first love, to mature love, and it was all very real love for us. We maintained a trust and friendship throughout it all. Even before we got married. And when we found our way back to each other, we were married, that trust was still there. Until you got hurt and then the lies began, and not just on your part. I was too self absorbed to notice that you had a problem. I think I always knew but assumed that you would handle it and ask for help if you needed. I couldn't be but so bothered between Cam and work and keeping a home and then there were our financial troubles. We lost our way somewhere along the line. The trust got broken. Too broken to be repaired and by the time we were ready to admit it there was another child to consider."

He was staring at her now. This was the Elizabeth he remembered from when they were teenagers trying to figure it out together. The one that would confide in him all her fears. He remembered when he used to be her hero and somewhere along the line… wait no he knew exactly when it happened, when she thought he was dead, that's when Jason had become her hero. This woman in front of him now was a spitting image of the girl he knew and loved from 15 years earlier, even as little as 5 years earlier. The liquor had softened her face and was a welcome distraction for the tears she had obviously been spilling out for hours before she had arrived at the docks. He smiled at her as she spoke and regretted being a cold as he had been earlier. However he did mean what he said, he would not give up his son again.

"All this time and I had no idea how you felt about what happened between us."

"We never really talked after the fact. The divorce was a miserable experience for the both of us and then we kind of fell into what we had with Sam and Jason. And then the truth came out. And you and Sam left."

He wasn't sure where it came from but he kissed her and for a moment it felt like she would pull away but she didn't. This kiss along with the alcohol was the distraction she needed from Jason. And then she felt it. That spark that she had been waiting to feel with Jason when they kissed hours earlier. But this spark was with Lucky and not Jason. They fell into a rhythm with one another as if they had been kissing everyday for the last 3 years. She started to tug at his shirt. She needed to be loved right now. She had felt so rejected by Jason. She grabbed for his belt but Lucky stopped her. "Liz I want this, I really do but I know that it's going to be Jason that you're making love to and not me and I don't want that."

"Lucky, I know who it is that I'm with right now and I'd be lying if I said that my heart wasn't still with Jason right now but at this very moment my body is with you and my body is crying out for you right now. I want you to make love to me Lucky."

"Is this really what you want?"

"Yes, this is what I want at this moment and when I wake up and the alcohol has worn off I'll just have to figure it out all over again. But for now, shut up and make love to me Lucky."

And he did. He laid her on the carpeted floor and undressed her. He removed his own clothes and kissed his way up her body. When he reached her lips she grabbed his head and pulled him deep into her mouth. He pulled at her hips and entered her and they made love there on the Haunted Star for hours before falling asleep in each others arms.