What forces people to drive for self-sacrifice? What makes people risk their neck with no hope? Do they do it for the greater good of the state? Do they do it because of religious belief? Do they do it in the hopes that someone else won't have to do it? Do they do it for their family's safety?
Or maybe there are some people who just want to do it for the sake of doing it? People who truly are altruistic like that, even though all evidences would suggest that a truly altruistic person doesn't exist.
Driving through thousands of them just to save a person who might be dead for the sake of another, does that count as a truly altruistic gesture? Would there be an ulterior motive? Is Susana's happiness a motive, or is it the reason I'm being this altruistic? Risking my life for the life of another person who we weren't even sure was alive. You never see charity like that anymore.
"Are you ready?" I asked Susana, who put on her seatbelt as I revved up the engine.
"Do it," she said.
I drove out of the open gates and into the road. There weren't a lot of them, though we did catch their attention now that there was a huge roaring machine in front of them. We spent a week building this car. It was like we dropped a metallic cage onto the car. We added a ramp-like extension to the bumper, which pretty much pushed aside everything in our way. It didn't always kill them, but it cleared our path easily enough. The rear bumper had the same extension, which made the car pretty much similar to a bulldozer. Man, I'd love to find an actual bulldozer to see which looks more badass.
"I don't exactly know the way to the university," I shouted as Susana screamed as one of them bounced off the windshield. "The Bulldozer works! Haha!" I have no idea why I was smiling that moment. I always had the habit of smiling when under pressure or under circumstances when smiling was inappropriate. I don't know if it was me or the fact that Filipinos, in general, were very happy-go-lucky.
"Keep going until you see the highway!" Susana shouted, as the sound of the car drowned out a lot of anything else that I was supposed to be hearing – except for my heartbeat, which I could definitely hear. "Just pray the highway isn't blocked; it's the only route I know to the university."
"Shit," I remarked. I stopped the Bulldozer. We've been driving for a few blocks. The highway lay in front of us, cars blocked almost every inch of the southbound lane.
"Look over there!" Susana pointed to the northbound lane. "There's practically no traffic on the other side. Drive, quick! They're all around us!" It was stupid of me to stop the Bulldozer. They really were all over us.
It made me realize the one flaw in the Bulldozer. I didn't put ramps for the sides. I could have simply attached them to the doors. They were banging on the metal bars. Susana looked freaked. I reversed the car, practically taking off some of their feet.
I don't recall much of what happened next. I remember seeing a McDonalds next to a school, but other than that everything seems to be blurred until we were able to drive up to the northbound lane.
Something seemed different about it. On our right was another university (The state university was also in the area), which gave the feeling of normality. The feeling was shared by Susana, who couldn't stop staring at the university as the speed gauge went up to 65.
"Stop the car. Stop the car!" Susana yelled. The screech of the tires because of the sudden brake of the car made me lightly hit my head on the steering wheel. "Look." She was pointing at the university.
We didn't see people; we didn't even see signs that people used to be there. That's what looked different. The university was clean. The trees were tall and proud as they always were; the streets inside the university were almost spotless; the grass was trimmed and the flowers were blooming. It was as though somebody had been taking care to make sure that the university continually looked pristine.
"Somebody's alive in there," Susana said. I was sure we were thinking the same thing: maybe her sister was in there, somewhere. The only problem is looking for people there, seeing if they would let us inside.
We didn't have time to think about it, as more and more of them were approaching the Bulldozer from the southbound lane.
"Freaking zombies," I exclaimed as I hit the gas and drove away from the university. I swear I saw somebody running inside the university.
They were coming in in flocks from the southbound lane. The metallic fences separating the two lanes were clanging loudly, so loud that Susana and I were sure that this would attract even more of them.
We kept driving, passing another college and another school (those definitely looked like they were devoid of life) along the way until we reached a pile of cars on the highway, blocking everything from getting to the other side. "Over there," Susana said, pointing to our left. It was the entrance to the state university, everything inside was burning. Smoke was rising from everywhere; embers from the fires were rising into the air.
"How the hell didn't we notice that the whole place was burning?" I asked in shock, as it was apparent that the trail of smoke rising into the air could be seen for miles all around. Then I remembered how a couple of mall giants had, a few years ago, decided to build luxuriously tall buildings within the vicinity of the state university, which could explain how the smoke rising from the state university wouldn't be seen from our neighbourhood.
They were everywhere, still shambling around even though parts of their body were burning. I looked at Susana. She was, again, expressionless. "Should we go?"
"No," Susana said, defiant to the end. "Drive around inside. The gate's not locked, bump into it a little and it'll open." I followed orders even though everything going on around us told me to drive the Bulldozer back to our mansion.
I took a left at the next intersection and slowed down the Bulldozer to a twenty on the gauge. Pushing open the gates into the state university, both our jaws dropped at the sight.
Everything – literally everything – was burning. They were walking around, some of them were on fire, others were already burnt to crisp and yet they were still walking around as though nothing was happening; the roar of the blaze all around us masked the sound of the car. Most of them seemed to have had most of their face burned off, which meant they didn't see us, the smell of burned flesh, among other things, was masking any scent we may have had (Susana took a bath prior to this and I could remember her hair smelling like lavender) and the roaring fire was masking the noise from our car. We were practically invisible.
The buildings were billowing smoke. Even though our windows were shut tight the smoke was still coming in. Susana took my hand, squeezing it tight. Her face spelled horror at what was in front of us.
A whole horde of them, walking in all different directions, all of them burning; the smell of their seared skin was reaching our car.
"Over there," I told her, gesturing to our left, to a recessed field which was left unburned except for the occasional ember that landed on it. There were people running across it. They were people, we were sure of it. There were around twelve of them, all of them carrying bulky backpacks and wearing different kinds of masks to cover their faces. Two of them were holding pistols and another one was holding what looked like a spear of some kind (yes, a spear, a rod with a pointy end), it could have just been a long stick with a knife taped to the end of it.
"Wait," Susana said as I was about to drive up to them. "It might not be her, they might just be looters. Let's just follow them, see where they're headed." It was easy enough not to be spotted; the smoke obscured us from view and yet allowed us to keep a glimpse of them trailing their way out of the university through a different gate (a gate we apparently missed on our way inside).
We followed them out of the university and into the highway. When we reached the highway they were able to figure out that we were following them, but the smoke had already drifted into the highway. They were able to run off with the cover of the smoke.
I sped up the car a little, but they were out of sight. Looking at the university we passed by (the clean one), I can swear I saw people running in there.
"They're in the university," Susana said, "I'm sure of it." A small smile passed her face for a second, before disappearing in her emotionless façade. "We can go back now."
And so we did. I drove away from the university with Susana being assured that there was somebody living in there. I guess that's all she needed: hope, the hope that her sister was still alive. If we went into the university and found out the truth about her sister, the risk would have been too much, should she find out whatever truth was waiting for her.
The smoke had reached our mansion, but closing the windows and doors was able to keep it outside. The smoke also helped keep us invisible, hopefully they weren't able to follow us.
Susana smiled. It's one of the very few emotions I was able to get from her. That was enough for me. No, I wasn't altruistic. I did it for the good feeling that I would get when I see her smile. That wasn't altruism. That was me being selfish, because I did it because I wanted something out of it, even if all I wanted out of it was just a smile. That was enough for me.