A/N: Thanks to everyone who's been reviewing, I really appreciate knowing that you're liking the fic. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, too. It was beta-read, as always, by my lovely beta MissBubbles.
Summary: Lost and sick in the middle of nowhere, Sirius falls into the hands of a woman whose secrets will tie inextricably into the fate of his godson. Sirius/OC.
The Complexities of the Heart
By katemary77
Chapter Sixteen
There is freedom within, there is freedom without
Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup
There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost
But you'll never see the end of the road
While you're travelling with me
- Neil Finn, Don't Dream It's Over
Dear Lizzy,
How do you like the name? It took me a while to think of it but it seems perfect for you, don't you think? It is your favourite novel, after all. Maybe I should sign off 'F. Darcy'?
How is everything there? School has started (obviously) and it seems that our teachers are drowning us in homework. But the OWLS are not very far away and I manage to stay on top. Can't say the same for Ron and Harry though, unfortunately.
Harry has already got detention, on the first day back, if you would believe it! He lost his temper in DADA and the new professor gave him a detention for it. She's about as nice as all our past teachers rolled into one, excluding Professor Lupin, of course. Her classes are fairly straightforward. She's got us reading Wilbert Slinkhard's 'Defensive Magical Theory' every lesson. Apparently, the Ministry has decided we don't actually need to practice any defensive spells before we take our exams at the end of the year… I'm hoping we can figure out something to do about this. Any ideas?
Apart from that, nothing really is happening here. Most people are avoiding Harry; he and a boy named Seamus Finnegan in our year had some sort of tiff about Voldemort although I'm not quite sure what happened, Ron only came in at the tail-end of it all. Speaking of Ron, Quidditch try-outs are tomorrow and I've never seen someone more nervous! I really hope he does well, it means so much to him.
I should go; I have an Arithmancy essay waiting for me..
All the best,
Hermione.
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Darcy,
Loved the name and I'm sure anyone reading your mail wouldn't understand a reference to Muggle literature, as insular as that is.
Things here are relatively boring; we're simply adjusting to life without you kids hanging around. The house seems very quiet without you all and I miss our afternoon conversations over tea; I have to settle for Moony now and he's not nearly as well read in Muggle literature as you are, although he does have an affinity for Charles Dickens.
We're beginning to trawl through that list of movies you gave us. Sometimes it's difficult to understand the Muggle references and things like that but we get by pretty well. The boys loved Star Wars – Snuffles won't stop calling everyone his 'Padawan' – and I enjoyed it too, mainly because Han Solo is such a dish! I love E.T, though. What a wonderful story! And I cried cauldrons. I'm still so amazed how they create these things without magic, you'll have to explain it all to me some day.
As for 'managing to stay on top' of all your schoolwork, I'm sure you do more than just stay on top! You're probably reading chapters ahead in every subject! I know the OWLs are this year and your work is very important to you, but I want you to remember to have fun and relax every now and then, you don't want to burn out before the exams. I'm sure Harry and Ron will stop you from taking everything too seriously!
As far as DADA is concerned, I agree that you need to consider other options. Not only is walking into your OWLs without having practised any defensive spells a bad idea, but walking into the world without knowing any defensive spells is even worse. What about a practical study group? You and the boys could help each other out in a spare classroom or something? You said that you did similar things when Harry was practising for the Tournament last year.
I'm sorry that people are treating Harry that way. You'll find, Hermione, that most people are sheep. Gryffindor or not, few are truly brave and will follow popular opinion if it keeps them from being outcast by their peers. But you and Harry and Ron are strong and I know that he will get through this, especially with you two by his side.
On that note, I know that Snuffles said something rash the other night that we all know he didn't mean. Snuffles was never given a chance to grieve for Prongs and sometimes it's like he's gotten his best friend – his brother – back. Could you please tell Harry this? I know that you can help him understand.
Anywho, I should go. Snuffles and Moony are pestering me to start watching 'The Princess Bride.' For their sake, I hope it's not as fluffy as the title suggests!
Love,
Lizzy.
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Liz,
Arh! Ronald Weasley! Honestly! I don't know how Mrs. Weasley and Ginny have put up with that prat for so many years! I mentioned Viktor today – just in passing! – and he went off on some tirade about how I was still talking to 'Vicky' and about how 'Vicky' wanted to be more than friends with me. So what if he wanted to be more than friends with me! Ron seems to think that a boy showing any kind of attraction towards me is abnormal or something! Merlin, I'm not an ogre!
Sorry, Lizzy, I just get so frustrated with him! I don't know what's wrong with him half the time! And I'm sorry I haven't written the past week, I've been bogged down with homework and worrying about Harry and everything else. Its Hogsmeade weekend next week so I'll maybe relax a little, although we have some plans that should keep us busy.
Have you heard about the High Inquisitor business? I suppose you have; it was in the paper, after all. Professor Umbridge has 'inspected' a few of my classes. Transfiguration was particularly entertaining; I'm sure you can imagine how Professor McGonagall took to being 'inspected.' Things don't look good for Trelawny, though I'm glad my Arithmancy teacher, Professor Vector, passed with flying colours (but I'm sure I caught her rolling her eyes once or twice.)
Those lessons I spoke to you about during the holidays are going well, but I can't tell you much about them in a letter, of course, and I'm sure you hear about them from another source anyway.
Harry wants me to help him with Transfiguration. He's hopeless. I'll write soon, hopefully.
Hermione.
P.S. What did you think of Westley and the ROUS?
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Darcy,
Ah, Hermione. You've entered a world I am glad to be rid of; the world of teenage boys. And they say women are hard to understand! Honestly. Please bear with Ron, he's only reacting so strangely to your friendship with Viktor Krum because he cares about you and doesn't really know how to express that other than the cave man routine.
Yes, I have heard of Hogwarts' High Inquisitor and although it may seem silly now, I want you to promise me that you and the boys are being careful; I'm sure you've realised now that Dolores Umbridge is out to get Harry and it is not below her to do that through you. What's more, you are a highly intelligent, Muggle-born witch and although she holds a high place in the Ministry, let me assure you that Dolores Umbridge is a woman with many prejudices. I'm sorry I sound like such a parent, but I worry about you and I know you have problems talking to your parents about the magical world, hopefully you won't mind if I substitute for them occasionally!
Yes, I am receiving my own correspondence about those lessons and I'm told you are doing very well. I'm proud of you and so is your teacher, though I know he would never give it away.
I very much enjoyed the Princess Bride, it was so funny! Not at all what I thought it would be. Snuffles loved it, too. Now whenever he feels someone's wronged him he shouts, "Hello! My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!" It's beginning to get a bit annoying, actually.
Well, we're about to start watching the Indiana Jones movies. Snuffles and I are both looking forward to it; the man on the cover looks just like Han Solo from Star Wars. Is it the same actor?
Hope to hear from you soon,
Lizzy.
P.S. I think your idea (you know what I mean) is fabulous
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Lizzy,
Well, I can't wait to be rid of it too. Boys are ridiculous. I don't know how you put up with Snuffles on a daily basis.
And I know you worry about us but honestly, apart from Harry's constant detentions, we're doing fine. Recently, though, an incident occurred that makes me believe mail is no longer safe at Hogwarts. I'm sure you know exactly what I mean. It's as if Stalin has taken over Hogwarts or something. Soon, I'm sure, even freedom of speech will be disallowed. For that reason, what I'm going to say next might not make a lot of sense.
I'm worried about Harry. That thing which hurts him sometimes is hurting him a lot. It's making him feel things the way that you do. He can't tell Snuffles because his mail is being watched and he won't tell the Headmaster.
I feel like I'm betraying him by telling you but I think someone needs to know.
I'm glad you enjoyed the film. What else have you been watching? It seems the only thing we can talk about freely. Have you watched Blade Runner yet? It has Harrison Ford in it as well; he's the actor who plays Han Solo and Indiana Jones. It's a very interesting film. It's science fiction, which is a Muggle term for futuristic films and novels. There's another film you should watch but I'm not sure if I put it on the list. It's called 'Brave Heart.' It came out in the cinema (We'll go one day) over the summer and I saw it with some Muggle friends. You should find it at the video store soon, just ask the clerk.
Let me know what you think of it.
Darcy.
P.S. Your approval means a lot. Thank you.
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Darcy,
I'm glad you told me about this, I think it's more important than Harry realises. I've spoken to the necessary people and we're working out a way to combat it.
As far as your reference to Stalin, I think I know enough about modern European history to understand what you mean. I might get Moony to purchase some books about this type of thing. We're in a war, after all; they might come in handy.
We've all taken your film suggestions and Moony is going to rent them on his next trip to the video place. I enjoyed Indiana Jones, but not as much as the boys did. I think I preferred some of the others you've given us. Last night we watched 'The Wizard of Oz'. We all thought it was quite strange; Muggles interpretation of witchcraft. It was a lovely film to look at, though, and the songs were cute. Snuffles has now begun to refer to Hogwarts' High Inquisitor as the Wicked Witch of the West; "And your little dog, too!"
There's not much else to tell, really. It's getting cold here and the house is as gloomy as ever. Christmas will be here soon, though. What are your plans? I hope you can visit me sometime; it'd be lovely to see you again.
Lizzy.
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Lizzy,
Christmas! It's strange to think that it's already November! The Gryffindor/Slytherin Quidditch match was last weekend. Lizzy, it was terrible. The Slytherins wrote this terrible song to throw Ron of his game (did I tell you he got the Keeper position?) and then when we won Draco Malfoy was an absolutely sore loser and provoked Harry and George into attacking him and now they have a lifelong Quidditch ban! I don't even know how Umbridge can do this, she even confiscated their brooms! And you know how much Harry's Firebolt means to him, considering who gave it to him. I hate that woman! I hope she gets her comeuppance, the sooner the better.
On a lighter note, I've heard from my parents and they're planning a skiing trip to Switzerland over Christmas. I'll be back a couple of days before the new term starts so maybe I can visit you then. To be honest, I'm not looking forward to it that much. I've never particularly like skiing!
I enclosed a list of modern history books you should read, if you're interested. Looking forward to seeing you, (and discussing them all with you, of course),
Darcy.
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Fitz (teehee),
What on earth is skiing? And Switzerland? Wow, it'll be cold there. Do you know what the boys are planning for Christmas? It'd be nice to see everyone at least once before you all go back to Hogwarts.
We're all sad to hear about Harry's Quidditch ban here, we know how much it means to him. Umbridge, it seems, does too and is doing her best to make Harry miserable. Be there for him, as you have been and he'll get through it. With luck, Umbridge will be gone by the end of the year and all of her 'Educational Decrees' will go with her. She will get her comeuppance, I can assure you of that.
Lizzy.
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Lizzy,
Oh, it was so horrible! Hagrid came back just the other week and Professor Umbridge inspected his class today.! I told Hagrid that he had to be careful – I even made some lesson plans for him! – but he didn't listen and we did Thestrals and it was so terrible! I hate that woman! She was making out that Hagrid is some kind of half-wit, just because he's part giant; talking to him slowly, miming along with what she was saying, it was ridiculous! And of course, Hagrid hardly understood what was going on and Malfoy and that pug-faced Pansy Parkinson wouldn't stop laughing. I hate her!
I'm sorry, Lizzy, I shouldn't take this out on you but the Wizarding World is so backwards! It's legal system is positively medieval, there is so much prejudiced towards so-called 'half-breeds' and werewolves and house-elves and every other kind of creature and Muggle-borns like me, even by those who claim to be unprejudiced. It's still harder for a Muggle-born to get a job, there's never been a Muggle-born Minister of Magic and don't even get me started on most Wizards reactions to anything Muggle, even good people like the Weasleys, barring Mr. Weasley, of course.
Sometimes I feel like Sisyphus, endlessly pushing a stone uphill when I know it's just going to fall down again.
And Harry and Ron and everyone else at Hogwarts it seems are constantly making fun of me for trying so hard at school and being so serious with my studies but they just don't understand! They're Pureblooded, what would they know? They can't possibly understand that there is so much more pressure on someone Muggle-born to do well because if they don't people will laugh and say, "You couldn't expect more, she's Muggle-born after all." I hate it! This world is at once wonderful and dreadful, sometimes I just feel like packing up and going back to my parents, my tail between my legs.
Living in this world I've come to understand what it's like to be gay or black or Jewish in my own society and I hate it.
Darcy.
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Darcy,
I know, I know and I'm so sorry. No person should have to deal with the prejudice and intolerance found in this world, especially not a person as wonderful as you are.
To be honest, I don't really know what to say. What does one say to a person being wronged in such a terrible way? You are being denied what I consider to be one of man's most inherent rights; equality. All I can say, I think, as corny as it sounds, is that you have to have hope. From reading those books you suggested, I imagine that the African American people of the Civil Rights Movement had hope, and what a difference it made! Like that society, ours is averse to change, no matter how many individuals are for it. When this war is over, we will change it ourselves.
You have friends around you who love you no matter who or what you are.
All the love in the world,
Lizzy.
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L,
Where is everyone? I woke up this morning and Harry and the Weasleys were all gone! Neville said something about Harry having a nightmare?
Please write back soon, I have no idea what to think.
D.
A/N: Somewhat of a cliff hanger, I suppose. I'll update soon! Please review.