He is a man and he is a monster. He is shrouded in darkness and pain and demon blood and he drinks it in. He smiles and fights his mistakes, bound by the hisses of hatred and worthlessness that come from everywhere. He is this nasty, broken, half-monster and Heaven has cursed him. Innocence has always been a stranger to him; the taint of blasphemy striking him down, down, down, before he had even a chance. He deserves death and he wishes for it with all of his dirty, tarnished soul, but he is still needed. His blood has been known to run cold, he has killed with pitiless precision in the name of love, and he hurts everyone. He has built himself up as a savior, only to destroy everything he fought for. He has betrayed the one person who was his everything and he cannot turn back. He is this dirty, vile thing, but he will save the world. He is no hero. He is Sam Winchester and he spends his last night in the company of beer, blood, and his brother.
He is a big brother and he is a righteous man. He has spent his life swimming in hedonism and responsibility. He has killed and lusted for blood and smiled at it. He has held his little brother close and promised him safety. He has done everything wrong and watched his brother do the same. He hopes this time will not be another mistake, but he doesn't even have angels to pray to. Hell has waited for him eagerly and they systematically ruined him. Heaven has fought hard for his dirty, tarnished soul, and they won it back. He knows about pain and likes it and hates it and is so good at causing it. Love is all he ever had, but it comes covered in guts and guilt now. He watches his brother pay for their mistakes and knows there is no safety where he is going. He is not good enough and he laughs. He is no hero. He is Dean Winchester and he spends his brother's last night breaking promises and cracking jokes.