Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
A/N: Hey everyone, thanks for the reviews, over a hundred now! I really appreciate you guys letting me know that you like the story. A reviewer suggested that I up the rating of this and so I have done. Just in time too, this chapter is a little darker than previous ones. We're almost at the end of Complexities but never fear, there is of course a sequel. Anywho, enjoy the chapter!
Summary: Lost and sick in the middle of nowhere, Sirius falls into the hands of a woman whose secrets will tie inextricably into the fate of his godson. Sirius/OC.
The Complexities of the Heart
By katemary77
Chapter Nineteen
Let me wrap myself around you
Let you show me how I see
And when you come back in from nowhere
Do you ever think of me?
When your heart is not able
Let me show you how much I care.
My List, The Killers
"So how goes extra lessons with Vlad the Merry Potions Master?"
Hermione burst into giggles. It was a few days after New Years and a few days until the Gryffindors had to go back to Hogwarts. Hermione and Anna were helping the others dismantle the elaborate Christmas tree. Sirius was pouting by the door.
"Do you call him that to his face?"
"Merlin, no!" Anna exclaimed, poking her tongue out at Hermione. "He'd take points from Gryffindor."
Hermione laughed again but then sobered.
"It's going okay, I think I've definitely figured out how to substitute the addictive qualities of Calming Draughts with natural, non-addictive Muggle herbs. So many medicinal potions are addictive; I don't know how Wizarding society has gone without Muggle surrogates for so long."
"And what about Severus? He must be proud of what you've accomplished."
Hermione laughed; "When I showed him the potion he gave Gryffindor five points. I think it gave him an aneurism."
"So, are you thinking of going into research after Hogwarts? I know it's a long way off, but you must be thinking about the future already," Anna asked.
"I'm not sure yet," Hermione sighed. "There are so many options! I'd love to go into research or maybe Healing but then again aren't we going to need Aurors for the war? I'd really like to work in the Department of the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, try and make some difference there, but with the Ministry the way it is at the moment I wouldn't want to work there at all!"
Anna smiled sadly and brushed her hand against the younger witch's shoulder.
"You'll figure something out, Hermione. Hopefully by the time you finish school this whole mess will be over. I hope that is the case, for all of our sakes."
Hermione, who was now unravelling tinsel from around the tree, looked sidelong at Anna and then swept her eyes across the room.
"Anna, I wanted to ask you something," she said, once she had assured herself that everyone else was busy with their own tasks. When Anna made an encouraging noise, the Gryffindor prefect continued. "How is Harry? I know that I should know, he's one of my best friends and I spend so much time with him, but Harry's always guarding his thoughts and he never really let's us know what he's feeling – "
Anna halted Hermione's tirade with a hand on the girl's arm; "It's okay, Hermione, I know what you mean. But you know I'm not really good at this Empathy thing and I hate interfering with stuff that isn't really my business…"
"Don't be silly, Anna, you're better than you think," Hermione interrupted. "You don't need to give me a blow by blow account of Harry's inner psychology… I just need…" Hermione huffed in annoyance. "I just want to help him. What can I do to help him? I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle, here."
Anna sighed. She couldn't refuse Hermione's request now.
"Just be there for him," she said quietly. "Help him sort out the chaos that's going on. Harry is very confused and honestly, I don't blame him. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I think Dumbledore should be telling Harry a lot more than he is and I think Harry knows this, too. He's losing his trust in Dumbledore – in all of us – and so you need to be someone that he can turn to when he can't turn to an adult. Just keep doing what you're doing, Hermione," Anna said with what she hoped was a comforting smile, "You're being a great friend for him. And Hermione, above everything else, you have to make sure Harry is practising his Occlumency. It is imperative that he does that."
"It's to keep You-Know-W – Voldemort out, isn't it."
Anna nodded; "Yes."
Hermione took a deep breath, her face taught and worried, before she shook it off and smiled at Anna.
"So, Vlad the Merry Potions Master, eh? When did you coin that one?"
"Oh, sometime back in Third Year…"
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Harry gave a rather impressive sigh. It wasn't Voldemort he was worrying about tonight, or the war or Umbridge or even what he was going to say to Cho Chang when he got back to school tomorrow. Instead, Harry Potter was worrying about Sirius. Harry had noticed that after Christmas and New Year, as the days counting down to his return to Hogwarts had gotten fewer, Sirius had withdrawn more and more and instead of a smile often sported a frown.
So now Harry was wondering the halls of Grimmauld Place, both trying to find Sirius and trying to figure out what he would say when he did. Passing Sirius' room, he peaked inside. Anna was in there, folding clothes into a large chest of drawers.
"Hey Harry," she said, smiling as he entered the doorway. "What's going on?"
"Not much. I was just looking for Sirius," Harry explained, "D'you know where he is?"
"Brooding," she answered, "Downstairs in the drawing room."
"Okay, thanks."
Harry paused awkwardly. Would she think him rude if he just walked out now?
Anna answered his question by smiling and saying, "Maybe you can talk some sense into him. Go on, beat it."
Harry grinned, "See you later."
"Goodnight."
Destination in mind, Harry was quick about getting down to the drawing room of the huge old house. And there he was, sprawled across the couch, moping as Anna had predicted. He was humming under his breath. Harry had been quite surprised these holidays to discover Sirius had rather a pleasant singing voice, although he recognised there were probably quite a few things about Sirius that Harry knew nothing of. This bothered Harry quite a bit and he knew it bothered Sirius as well. Sirius was the first adult who had cared about Harry, truly and unconditionally cared about Harry; not because he was the Boy-Who-Lived or because he was Ron's friend or any other reason. Sirius cared about Harry because he was family. Harry didn't think Sirius knew quite how much that meant to him.
"Hey Sirius," Harry said eventually and the older man sat suddenly, having been unaware of Harry's presence.
"Hey kid, what's up?" Sirius said, making room on the couch and running a hand through his hair.
"Not much," Harry said but before he could stop himself words were tumbling out of his mouth; "I really don't want to go back to Hogwarts tomorrow. This is the first time that's ever happened."
Sirius sighed and threw an arm around Harry who, admirably, fought the uncomfortableness he usually felt when personal contact was an issue and even let himself lean slightly into his godfather.
"It's just with Umbridge and Voldemort and everyone thinks I'm a nutter and now I can't even play Quidditch… I wish I could stay here, with you," Harry added hesitantly and almost burst with nervousness at the stretch of time it took for Sirius to answer him.
"Harry…" he began eventually. "You know I want things to be different, too. I wish I could give you a place to come to when everything gets to be too much, but this isn't it. For now, Hogwarts needs to be your home, at least until I can give you one of your own."
"I know," Harry replied, head downcast. "I just wish…"
"Me too, Harry, and I wish I could promise you that we'll have that someday but I can't." Sirius looked at Harry then and Harry was taken by the gravity in his eyes. "I can't promise you anything."
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Anna entered the drawing room and watched Sirius from the doorway. He was sitting in an ornate armchair by the window, gazing morosely out at the dreary London street. Harry and the other Gryffindors had left just that morning and already Sirius was missing the presence of his godson. Anna sighed inwardly; she knew how much it meant to Sirius to be close to the boy.
She made her way quietly to the window and sunk into her lover's lap. Sirius sighed and drew her closer, gathering her up into his arms as she tried to give him what comfort she could without words.
"I just wish things were different," he said eventually.
"I know," Anna answered, tucking her head under his chin.
"I wish – I wish I could give him a home, a real home and a real family. A place where he can forget everything, forget Voldemort and learning Occlumency with Snape and this stupid war and being the Boy-Who-Lived. Somewhere he can just be Harry. He deserves so much more than what he's got."
"I know," Anna said again. She wasn't sure what else she could say.
They sat like that long in to the night.
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A couple of days later, Anna was standing by the kitchen sink with her morning coffee, opening up a just-delivered copy of the Daily Prophet. Her coffee mug, on its way to her lips, crashed to the floor as Anna read the bold headline splashed across the front page.
MASS BREAKOUT FROM AZKABAN
Sirius and Remus, who were breakfasting at the table, looked up in alarm when the ceramic hit the stone floor with a smash.
"Anna? What's wrong?" Sirius asked, immediately standing from his chair.
She couldn't speak, the face of Bellatrix Lestrange staring up at her with a sadistic smirk Anna remembered all too well. Vaguely, she was aware of Sirius pulling the paper from her hands and cursing loudly at the headline. Body numb, Anna sat heavily at the table, supporting her forehead with a frail hand, fighting back memories that had not surfaced for years.
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"Aw, does the little bitty baby want me to stop hurting mumsie wumsie?"
Anna shook; this woman was mad. She was hardly even a woman; Anna thought she couldn't be much older than the young man who took care of mummy when mummy was hurt. Mummy was collapsed boneless on the floor now, blood trickling out of the corner of her mouth. Her mother's pretty blue eyes were gazing at her now and she moved her lips to speak words but no sound came out; her voice was gone from screaming for so long.
The dark-haired woman was raising her wand again, though, and with the selflessness of a child Anna flung her body across her mother's broken form.
"Please, no, please don't hurt her anymore."
The woman snarled and pushed Anna away, lifting her wand.
"Cruci – "
"Bella," a silky voice interrupted, "The woman cannot take much more and I don't think the Dark Lord will be please if you kill her, accidentally or not."
It was him! Anna almost cried out with relief. She recognised his voice, even though he wore a hood that covered much of his face. But it was him! He would save them, he would make the cruel woman stop hurting her mummy, she knew it!
"My lord will not punish me if I kill this filth, he knows I am his most loyal servant," the woman was spitting, rage laced in her beautiful but terrible features. "Don't presume to tell me what my lord wills."
"Nevertheless," the other continued, "Murder is not on the agenda tonight for us, and our lord requests your presence in his chambers."
The woman smirked, smug. She straightened her robes and ran her hands over her hair, smoothing the dark tresses around her face.
"Very well," she murmured, "But before I leave – "
Anna suddenly found that the wand was pointing to her and –
"Crucio!"
Pain, pain, such mind-numbing pain but her mind wasn't numb, it was screaming and she was screaming too, shrieks ripping from her throat and it hurt and hurt and she tried to curb her screams, tried to control her body from writhing on the floor like some wild thing because her mother said to never give them what they want, never let them hear you scream and see your pain but it hurt and then it was over and she was gasping on the floor, curling into the cold body of her mother and coughing blood from her torn throat.
"Take them back to their quarters. I'm sure you can at least manage that, Severus."
And then she was gone. Severus was lifting her to her feet. His hood was gone now and Anna could clearly see the concern in his almost black eyes. She was hiccuping through her sobs and he held her close for a moment, running soothing hands over her back like she had seen him do for her mother.
"It's alright, child, you're going to be alright. Can you walk?"
Anna nodded and he stood from his crouch, crossing swiftly to her mother's limp form. He swore under his breath and then lifted her into his arms.
"Come, child, you must keep up with me."
She nodded and followed hurriedly behind him as he took her mother back to their prison, fisting her hand into the back of his robes to keep up. Their room was a small, sparse stone space with a cot against one wall and a small table against the other, on which there were a few books and trinkets that she and her mother had collected over the years. It was nothing like where Anna used to stay. She used to live in a beautiful, lushly decorated room with a four-poster bed that had a dark, velvety green carpet and a lovely bookcase and toys – dolls, even! But then the scary man, the one they all called Lord, had taken her to a room not unlike this one, had put his wand in her hand and had told her to hurt the young boy who was cowering in the corner.
"He is a Muggle," the scary man had said, "He means nothing to you. Kill him!"
When Anna had only shaken her head, bewildered, the scary man had snatched the wand, muttered awful, awful words and the boy had died, a scream on his lips. Anna had backed into the wall, tears running down her cheeks, not understanding what was wrong with this creature. That boy had been so scared! She could feel his terror and his dread right down her spine, almost felt sick with it! But the Lord had smacked her, hard, on her face and thrown her into a room, this room, where a woman she remembered from ages ago had cried and folded Anna's small body into her arms.
That woman – her mother – was now being gently laid on their rickety old cot. Anna moved forward and watched as Severus pushed her mother's wild curls from her face. They were matted with blood and dirt and Anna hurried to the small basin and filled a cup with water. She took a cloth, too, and crossed back to the cot where she worked to clean her mother's hands, face, hair. Severus was now pouring a vial of potion passed her mother's lips.
"Come here, Anna."
Anna obeyed and when she reached him the man took out another vial and handed it to Anna. Anna shook her head; "Give it to mummy."
The man's faced softened.
"While that is an admirable thought, if you are going to help me make your mother better you need to have your strength, too."
Acquiescing, Anna quickly drank the potion and then accepted a pot of healing balm from the man, which she then used to heal the various cuts and scrapes her mother had acquired during her torture. She was just applying the reddish salve to a nasty slash along the side of her mother's face when she began to stir.
"Anna?"
"I'm here, mummy," she whispered, grasping the woman's cool hand.
"Severus? How bad was it this time?"
Severus grimaced and glanced at Anna.
"Bad. Another Crucio and I'm not sure you would've made it."
"And Anna?"
Severus was about to open his mouth, about to tell her everything, when Anna spoke over him.
"She didn't hurt me, mummy, I'm fine."
There was no use worrying her mother now, when nothing could be done.
"Who was she? That woman?"
"Bellatrix Black, soon to be Lestrange," Severus answered, "The Dark Lord's new favourite."
Anna's mother shuddered.
"She's insane."
She didn't know it then, but Anna would come under the wand of Bellatrix Lestrange many times before the end.
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"Anna? Anna, are you okay?"
Snapping out of her daze, Anna realised both Remus and Sirius were staring at her, concerned. It was Sirius who had spoken and he stood beside her chair, his hand on her back.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine," she assured them, "Just zoned out for a bit, there. I might go upstairs and lie down or something. I'll, um, see you guys later."
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A couple of hours later, Sirius made his way up to the room he and Anna shared. He felt guilty for leaving her alone all morning but figured from her reaction to the news that she just wanted to be alone with her memories for a while.
"Annie?"
When he entered the room, Anna was curled on her side, her eyes open and staring at her hands. She looked up at him and stretched out.
"Hey."
Sirius climbed onto the other side of the bed and handed her the package he held in his hands before pulling Anna over against him.
"What's this?"
Sirius shrugged; "An owl dropped it off for you."
Anna set the package down on the bed and with deft fingers opened up the letter that came with it.
"It's from Severus," she told him. "He must've sent it last night, when it happened." She smiled softly at the words as she read them and Sirius found himself feeling glad that there was someone close to Anna who perhaps understood what she was feeling more than he would, even if that someone was Severus Snape.
Letter read, Anna reached over to place it on her bedside table before opening the box that had come with it. Reaching inside, she pulled out a vial of dark indigo potion. Frowning, she uncorked the bottle and brought it to her nose, giving the brew a sniff, after which a sense of understanding laced her features.
"What is it?" Sirius asked, somewhat impressed that she could identify a potion by smell alone.
"Modified Dreamless Sleep," she told him. "Severus has adapted it so it's no longer addictive. It's part of the research he's been doing for… well, probably over a decade now."
"That's… thoughtful of him."
"Well, Severus is a very thoughtful man," Anna said, smirking a little at Sirius, "Contrary to popular opinion…"
It turned out that Snape's sending of the potions had been a premeditative move, indeed. That night, Sirius awoke to Anna thrashing about beside him. Once he had woken her, pretending not to see the tears streaming down her face, he tipped her head back and slipped the potion past her lips before coaxing her back to sleep in his arms. He didn't sleep another wink.
A/N: Don't forget to review!