Thank you for reviewing! ...I'll just stop making excuses for long waits. Senior year can fuck itself. Reversal is coming, I swear... but books like Heart of Darkness don't encourage my tiny fluff side, they build up my already massive angst side, which Reversal needs some of. I just wrote a lemon for a pairing I haven't thought about it in three years, for god's sakes, just to practically torture both characters. What's wrong with me? I don't know. Die, senior year, die.

...ahem. Enjoy!

"And there was some problem with the apron?"

Tenzou nodded emphatically. "Yes! It seemed to bother him a lot!"

Kakashi frowned as they moved through the kitchen, and he held up the apron he'd worn for the wood user's inspection. "What's wrong with it? ...It's his, after all, I just wore it."

Tenzou shrugged helplessly. "Don't ask me, Senpai. It was a very confusing discussion."

"Huh." Kakashi turned about the kitchen with another frown, then sighed. "And he didn't say anything to imply why he was so out of sorts last night?"

"No, not really. The whole talk was about you, but I couldn't tell what the problem was."

The two remained silent for a moment, and then Kakashi dropped himself down into a chair and leaned back, shaking his head. "Keep going. What happened after the apron was brought up?"

"Uh..." Tenzou sat down next to him and met his eye. "He said he liked you. Was very... certain about it."

Kakashi frowned. "He... likes me? ...I don't understand." He really didn't. He didn't know why Iruka had suddenly began acting so strangely last night. It had to be something he'd done, but, for the life of him, Kakashi had been unable to think of anything that could've made the teacher blush so much and be so jumpy and nervous. "Why does it matter that he likes me? ...I thought we were already friends. Doesn't that mean he liked me already?"

Tenzou smiled slightly. "Your guess is as good as mine, Kakashi-senpai."

He sighed heavily. "I knew it," he muttered. "I was sure I'd screw this up somehow."

"Come on, you don't know that-"

"Tenzou." he muttered shortly.

The wood user shrugged apologetically. "Sorry, Senpai. ...I'm sure you can fix it somehow, though. He seems really forgiving."

"But I don't even know what I did wrong!" Kakashi leaned forward, supporting his head with his hand and sighing heavily. "Is he mad at me for staying here for so long? I never thought about it much, but, well, I've been a huge inconvenience. Maybe that's it? Or... you said they mentioned the apron... maybe he thought I actually meant for him to kiss me? But it was his apron! I just put it on! I didn't even notice what it said until later! God... I know I'm an inappropriate ass, but do I really come off that badly? He couldn't have possibly thought I was serious!"

Tenzou tried to smile and be helpful, but it was clear he knew just as little as Kakashi did. "I'm sure he didn't. Although you can be an inappropriate ass at times, Senpai."

"Not now, Tenzou! I'm serious!"

"So was I..."

Kakashi sighed and let his forehead collide with the table with a solid thunk. "I ruined this. Of course. ...Did they say anything else? Anything else I'm doing wrong?" He was fully aware that his voice was crushed and defeated but couldn't bring himself to care. Iruka had done so much for him, far more than he had ever expected anyone to ever do for him, and he just had to respond by messing things up, didn't he? Why couldn't he ever get close to someone without giving them problems?

The wood user frowned, ignorant of Kakashi's internal distress. "Um... well, there was something about gay or bi... Icha Icha made its way into the discussion somehow..."

Kakashi blinked. He was starting to understand less and less of why Iruka had been acting so strangely last night. "What on earth does that have to do with anything? ...Damn it, that stupid apron! It's all the apron's fault! He must think I'm a pervert or something because of Icha Icha and that's why he took the stupid apron seriously, and now he thinks I'm a gay pervert!"

"Senpai, you are a-"

"I am not! I've told you all before, Icha Icha is not porn! They are adventure romance novels!"

Tenzou rolled his eyes and laughed while Kakashi stood and started pacing anxiously throughout the kitchen, wringing his hands out in front of him. The silver-haired jounin made his way across the room a few times before turning back to his kohai, fixing him with a worried stare. "Okay, what else? I'm sure I can salvage this situation, I just need to know what else he said so I know what else I did bothered him."

"Okay. Well, after the gay thing, there was the rank thing, which I didn't really understand, and him being 'not your type', whatever that means, and then there was this long discussion about why you've been staying here the past three months. Iruka's friend brought up sponge baths, of all things, and that seemed to make Iruka really mad, and he said something you looking unbelievable in that apron and then asking you to go out with him."

Kakashi just looked down at him in a flat, confused stare. None of what Tenzou had said had made much sense. He took a few moments to sort it out in his head before taking it apart, one point at a time. "Ah... rank. I don't know what rank has to do with anything."

"Iruka's friend didn't really seem to understand it, either," Tenzou interjected helpfully, and Kakashi nodded.

"Okay, I'll just have to ask him about that. Moving on. 'Not your type' means he doesn't want to date me. ...Fucking apron. I am going to burn that thing. Gah, I can't believe I made him think I wanted him to- to date me!"

"This is one troublesome apron, Senpai."

Kakashi groaned. "Tell me about it. Well, moving on again. How I've been staying here for three months- well, we've already established I'm probably taking advantage of him. That settles it; I'm moving out as soon as possible. My apartment's still free, right? The sponge baths... okay, even I couldn't have come across as being that inappropriate."

"I'm sure you could if you wanted to."

Kakashi huffed and crossed his arms in aggravation. "Anyway, the last thing you mentioned. He said I looked unbelievable in that apron and... asking me to go out with him? ...Huh?!"

Tenzou nodded slightly, then scratched his hair and appeared to puzzle over the situation further. "He sounded like he was being sarcastic at the time- like it was a bad idea. ...Sorry, Senpai."

Kakashi moved to to sit back down at the table, dropping his head into his hands. "Of course it's a bad idea. You don't have to apologize. ...Great. Just fucking great. I'm lucky enough someone like Iruka wants to bother being friends with me, and then I go and ruin it by making him think I want to date him. Or sexually assault him." He pounded a fist on the table in frustration before whirling to point at the apron that had caused all the trouble "You! You stupid apron, this is your fault! I- I- I ought to- Katon: Gokakyu no-"

"Senpai! Senpai, no!"

Iruka was fully prepared for a full night of awkwardness and blushing when he finally got back home. He'd been distracted the whole day and could only hope that Kakashi wasn't wearing Kotetsu's Kiss the Cook apron again, because that would make him go crazy.

When he dragged himself inside after what had felt like the longest day of his life, it was to find an apron-less Kakashi waiting for him- but it didn't look like he had anything very good to say.

Iruka just stood in the doorway and blinked at Kakashi. Normally, when he got home, the jounin would be messing around in the kitchen or splayed out on the couch reading Icha Icha. Kakashi was on the couch now, but sitting stiffly upright, dressed in his full uniform with his gloved hands clasped in his lap. There was a small, zipped up pack next to him, and Iruka could smell the scent of his favorite ramen emanating throughout the apartment. Frowning in confusion, he dropped his satchel down by the door and took a few steps inside to face the jounin. "Kakashi?" he asked warily. "Is something wrong?"

Kakashi shook his head and stood fluidly, bringing the pack with him and sliding it over his shoulders. 'Not at all, Iruka." He bowed stiffly, leaving the teacher just standing there and staring at him dumbly. "I just realized that I have truly been taking advantage of your hospitality, so it is time for me to leave. Thank you very much for being a gracious host these past three months. I won't trouble you like this again."

Iruka simply stood there and stared at the nervous jounin for a few seconds, then let out a calming sigh. Kakashi's idiosyncrasies and insecurities were just something he had become used to by now, and he knew something had to have sparked this odd behavior. "What brought this on?" he asked, meeting Kakashi's eye for a second before his friend looked to the floor. "I never said that you have been taking advantage of me or that you needed to leave."

Kakashi shifted uncomfortably, clearly biting his lip beneath his mask. "...Please don't get mad, Iruka. But I..."

Iruka took another calming breath, stopping himself from jumping to confusions. 'Don't get mad, Iruka' was only said when there was definitely something for him to get mad about. Like Naruto defiling the Hokage monument, again, or Sasuke's fangirls destroying the classroom trying to get to him, again, or Kakashi being a perverted ass, again. But he couldn't think of anything Kakashi could have done that would have him acting like this. Closing his eyes, Iruka again reminded himself not to start yelling at the jounin until he was finished talking and made himself smile. "But you what?"

"...I noticed that something was wrong, last night. You told me it was nothing but it was obviously a lie, so I was worried, and, well, I... I asked Tenzou if he could find out for me."

"Aaaand..."

Kakashi scratched his head and stared determinedly at the floor. "By find out, I mean... um... follow you."

"Kakashi," Iruka muttered in the beginnings of a warning, "I know you and you crazy ANBU and jounin think that it's perfectly acceptable to just follow people around to find out what you want to know, but-..." Oh shit. Shiiiiiit. My conversation with Kotetsu. My conversation with Kotetsu! Oh, god- if Kakashi's friend heard that-!

Iruka choked himself off into silence. He thought desperately back through the talk with his friend, trying to remember if he had said anything distinctly revealing or embarrassing or terrible before looking back at Kakashi in horror. "Y-you... you h-heard..."

Oh, god. He heard me. He knows that I like him. And he's going to call me an idiot because it is so obvious he's straight, and because even if he wasn't he would never want to be with just a CHUUNIN, and then be disgusted with me because I'd be taking advantage of him and I'm supposed to be taking care of him and it's just sick, Iruka, SICK-

"Yes, I did hear. And I just wanted to say I'm very sorry. I never meant to imply that I seriously wanted you to kiss me, or have sex with me, or date me, or- anything like that. I didn't even notice what it said, I swear, Iruka. I'm very sorry for making you think that I did. I just wanted to make sure you understood that so at least we could hopefully stay friends, though I understand if you don't want to." Kakashi bowed again before turning to the door, past a stunned, motionless Iruka. "I made your favorite for dinner as a way of saying sorry. I'll also pay you back for all my expenses these past few months once I'm working again. Thank you very much for your hospitality, and goodbye, Iruka."

Iruka was too shocked to even move.

He somehow managed to get back in control of himself to grab the idiot by his vest just as he stepped out the door, yank him back, and throw the unsuspecting man back down onto the couch. After a few moments of just staring at him in disbelief, Iruka shook his head at Kakashi's surprised face and jabbed his finger at him. "You... you idiot!"

Kakashi blinked up at him, and Iruka shook his head before starting to pace, hands shaking and emotions running wild in the most contradictory fashion ever. He was furious at Kakashi, bewildered at Kakashi, stunned by him- and he had no idea which emotion to pick to project. You complete idiot! You completely stupid, wonderful, adorable idiot! And STOP sitting there looking all confusedly cute! That is NOT HELPING! "You have no idea," he snapped, turning on his heel and continuing to pace. "You sit there, making- making your stupid presumptions, but you really have completely no clue. I have no idea what you were just rambling on about, Kakashi, but it is all totally wrong." Fuming, Iruka reached down, grabbed the jounin's pack, and tossed it back in the direction of his bedroom. It collided with the wall with a solid thump. "You're staying here. You owe me that much, after being such a complete fool about this." A completely cute, thoughtful, adorable fool- and those kinds of thoughts are not helping, Iruka! "First of all, don't you ever send your friends out to follow me again! Or do it yourself! Because it's wrong and it leads to mis-under-standings like this!" Iruka grabbed a pillow and whacked it at the offending jounin's head between the syllables of the last three words, then just continued his pacing, still absolutely furious. "And second of all, stop assuming your presence here is some great inconvenience or that you're bothering me or that I want you gone! Idiot! I never said that, so don't put words in my mouth!"

Kakashi ducked under the pillow again and then Iruka was practically screaming his last ire at him. "And what the hell was all that kissing nonsense about?!"

Some still-not-infuriated part of Iruka's mind, some veeeeery tiiiiny still-not-infuriated part took pity on the poor shell-shocked copy nin. He was withered back into the couch, eye open wide and jaw clearly dropped open under his mask. That very tiny part unhelpfully piped up that a stunned Kakashi was a cute Kakashi. But the still-very-angry part was furious enough not to care. He stood before him, hands on his hips, face red for some reason other than embarrassment, eyes narrowed and sharp glare piercing right into him. His so-called endless patience had run out, and Kakashi had better come up with the exact right thing to say or he was only going to get madder.

Kakashi finally managed to speak after working his jaw in silence for a few seconds. "...The... the apron... T-Tenzou and I thought- we thought that you thought I- I was being serious... about wanting a kiss..."

Iruka had no clue what his very strange friend was talking about. He blinked and stared down at him until it dawned on him, but that was so ridiculous he thought for a moment that was impossible.

Then he remembered how ridiculous Kakashi himself was, and decided it wasn't that impossible.

Iruka was still split about eighty twenty right now. Eighty percent of him wanted to just keep being furious. But twenty percent- and that number was steadily growing- was already won over by just how cute Kakashi was managing to be right now. He wanted to pick him up, hug him tightly, and kiss him and tell him he was just-

No! Don't think about doing that! Bad Iruka. Baaaaad. Bad thoughts.

And now thirty percent of him was preoccupied with how cute he was. Thinking about kissing him hadn't been very good for the part of Iruka that still wanted to hold his ground.

Kakashi shifted uneasily and scratched the side of his neck uncomfortably. The jounin stared at his knees and fidgeted again, and Iruka could see he was biting his lip under his mask again.

Damn it. Forty percent.

He kept biting his lip. His kissable lips, Iruka remembered from when he'd seen him without the mask.

Fifty five percent.

Stupid jounin. Stupid unfairly cute, kissable jounin!

Iruka watched as Kakashi shifted again, reaching up to fiddle with the zipper of his jacket. He seemed dreadfully uncomfortable, and then Iruka fixated on his vest. That was wrong; that stupid, bastard jounin was staying here and that meant Iruka had to take his vest off and throw it back to his pack, so he could never act this stupid and try to run again. "Oh, you... you ridiculous idiot," he muttered, getting down in front of him and unzipping his vest. "Keep looking like that and I won't be able to stay mad at you. Lucky y..."

Oh, he really should have thought this through.

Because now, his hands were right on Kakashi's chest. Right. On. It. The jounin normally wore clothes a size too big, so his actually lithe frame was disguised as somewhat bulky. But now, with Iruka bracing himself with one hand against Kakashi, he could very easily feel the smooth pectoral hidden by his shirt. He swallowed, eyes drifting from the vest's zipper to his other hand, unable to stop his thumb from slowly moving to feel the hard, steely muscle.

"I-Iruka?"

Iruka froze.

And then he was yanking his hand back like Kakashi had bit it and jumping back to his feet. He stammered, feeling the blood rush to his cheeks, then shook his head furiously and turned to rush to the kitchen. "You're staying here!" he called, rubbing his stupid hand on his shirt and trying to forget where it had just been. "That's all there is to it, Kakashi!"

He didn't hear the jounin move, so he took the moment he had in private to rub his hands over his burning face and slump back against the wall. How could he not control himself around Kakashi? He had liked people before without feeling them up, for god's sakes.

Then again, no one he'd ever been interested in had looked like Kakashi. He was a shinobi and looked damn fine, of course, but there was just something about tall, lean, and wiry. Like a cat- silent, powerful, and stealthy.

And very good looking.

Then there was the fact that Iruka had already seen him naked or almost such several times during his recovery. At the time, he had thought nothing of it. Kakashi hadn't been aware of it and he'd seen a lot worse back when he still did missions full time. But now, the memories of that...

Ridiculously troublesome.

It also didn't help that he was one of the few people in this village to see him without his mask. Even if he didn't know the reason Kakashi's obsession about hiding his face, it meant a lot that Kakashi trusted him enough to show him face. So perhaps he was biased, but Kakashi's face was simply very attractive.

And now, he was living with said very attractive man that he wanted to date. And Iruka couldn't even get mad at him because whenever he did, Kakashi just looked so damn cute all his anger would melt away into goo.

Could this get any worse at all? Any worse?

"Um... Iruka?"

Seriously. Can this situation just stop getting worse for ten seconds. Please? Please?!

Iruka breathed calmly, giving himself a few moments to make sure he was completely in control before turning back around to face Kakashi. The silver-haired jounin was standing a few feet behind him, still looking uncertain, and scratched at his messy mop of hair before nervously curving his eye into a smile. "'I'm sorry?"

Iruka frowned. You certainly owe me an apology, you ridiculous jounin, but... "Kakashi, what exactly are you apologizing for?"

Kakashi looked even more nervous now. "Uh... making you mad?"

Stop being so cute. I want to be mad at you! You deserve it! But I can't be when you're acting like this! "And how did you make me mad?"

The jounin shifted on his feet and Iruka could practically see his uncomfortableness oozing off of him in waves. "I... was... an idiot?"

It took a lot of Iruka's self-control to not just fall apart right then and there. No. Keep being mad at him. Keep being mad at him. Don't let him charm you out of this. "Yes, you were," he agreed, "but that's not why I'm mad at you." He waited, but Kakashi didn't seem to have anymore guesses, so he sighed and explained it for him. "I'm angry because you sent Tenzou out to spy on me. If you wanted to know what was bothering me, you should have just asked me."

"But I did! You lied and said it was nothing!"

"I..." Yeah, I did do that. Iruka shook his head. "Even if it was obvious I wasn't telling the truth, you still shouldn't have gone behind my back like that. I didn't want you to know; you should've just respected that."

Kakashi glanced down to the floor and miserably scratched the back of his head again. He shifted his weight from foot to foot and seemed to want to say something, but he wasn't sure what. After a few moments passed in uncomfortable silence, he mumbled, "I'm really sorry, Iruka. I just wanted to know what was bothering you... I thought I could help if I knew."

Iruka bit his lip, only barely managing to not hug him and take everything he'd just said back right then and there. You look too damn adorable, Kakashi. Instead, he held his ground and smiled at the jounin, trying to relax. "Thank you for that, Kakashi. You meant well, but I have to know that if I don't want you to know something, I can still talk with my other friends about it without being worried about you listening in. But I'm not that mad at you, Kakashi; you don't have to look so sad."

Kakashi smirked a little at that. "I think your pillow assault says otherwise."

Iruka rolled his eyes. "You've known me long enough to know that I do stupid things when I'm angry, Kakashi."

"Yes, you do."

Iruka sighed happily, all the residual anger draining out of him at the sight of Kakashi's trademark eye smile. "Oh, I just... here. Let's just eat the ramen you made and talk about something else."

"Whatever you say." Kakashi continued to smile as he stepped around him to take dinner off the stove and pour it into two bowls. Iruka expected him to ask again what had been bothering him, but was surprised when the jounin stayed silent. It took him a few seconds to realize that Kakashi was half afraid of the reaction he would provoke if he did ask about it, and he decided to be thankful for that. Because he was in no way going to confess to Kakashi what really been bothering him.

If these stupid feelings would just go away... he and Kakashi had a wonderful friendship. Why did he have to go and ruin it like this? Why couldn't they just stay friends and nothing more, and Iruka be content with that?

He sighed heavily again and shook his head to himself. He just had to patient, that was it. If he could just be patient, eventually his ridiculous feelings would shut up and everything would go back to normal.