A/N; Thank you to all who have left relevant reviews thus far. I do however have a request. While I greatly appreciate the kind reviews I've gotten, they're all saying the same thing time and again. If you like my story great, leave a comment, but more importantly tell me why you liked it. If you didn't like my story I'm fine with that too, but again I would ask for an explanation.
One or two sentence reviews all along the lines of, "This is great, update soon," get somewhat boring to read after a while. I'm doing my best to write a good story that fit's not only the way I think the plot should go, but how Redwall fans would like it to go as well. Please put some thought into your reviews. One good critique is worth more to me as a writer than a thousand one sentence "this was great" comments. Is the story believable? Are the characters in keeping with Redwall canon? Is the action to drawn out? Is the dialogue something you would see canon characters saying? Are there plot points you would change? Are there plot points you don't understand? Are the descriptions of the scenes rich enough for you to tell what's going on with who and where? While some questions may not be able to be answered due to me not wanting to reveal my storyline, other questions like those are what I'm looking for reviewers to answer. I'm not asking for a full book report, but a paragraph from one would be better than the same cookie-cutter comments I've been getting.
I'm not trying to sound mean, and please don't take it as I am or that I don't like people saying they like my story. I couldn't be more proud that people like my work. Just ask my family (well you can't since you don't know who they are but it's a figure of speech) and they would tell you I have been very exited to get good reviews. It's just now that I know you like it; I'm looking for a more thought out response.
Sorry for the long note before the chapter, but I felt the need to say it. I get the feeling that several of those who have been reviewing this story are still in high school, and a look at various profiles confirms that for some. I'll tell you this much about myself, I graduated college last year and as such know what a good book review looks like. I'm not asking for a college level critique, but "I liked it because it was good," was something that hopefully we left behind in 4th or 5th grade. From the voice of experience it will only do you good to be able to read something and be able to tell in very clear reasons why you liked it or not. I really don't care if you leave a review or not. But if you do leave a review, please put some effort into it, and try to not say the same thing every time.
That being said I will tell you that I had quite a hard time writing this chapter. I wrote it, scrapped it, re-wrote it, scrapped it again, re-wrote a third version of the chapter, scrapped that, brought back the second version minus the last half of that version, dug the third version out of the trash and used some of that material, and made up quite a bit of stuff up on the fly until I finally came up with something I was happy with. After all that it took me over two days to proof read this chapter. As you can tell I put a lot of time into my writings, which is the big reason why I'm asking for well thought out responses. Plot suggestions are still welcome, as I've run into a bit of writers' block. While I have a good idea of where the storyline will go next, helpful ideas are always appreciated. If I don't use your idea I will try to send a PM explaining why. And now without further ado, Chapter 11 of A Mask and A Song. So far it's my favorite chapter in this story and my favorite piece of fiction I've written. I hope you like it as much as I do.
11.
The Song
The rain continued to fall as the new day came to Noonvale. It was a steady shower of warm water that filled the land with hope again. Anywhere a beast looked were signs of the land healing itself. The rivers and streams laughed again as water flowed over the rocks in their beds. The crops, orchards, and woodlands that had stood dry and wilted for so long now drank up the life giving liquid into their stems and leaves. The plants dry brown colors were now tinted with the first shades of new green life. The rain fell all during that day and throughout the night. The residents of Noonvale skipped, hopped, and sang. Little ones threw mud balls at each other, Gonff having started the messy melee.
Slightly north of the valley Martin lay recovering from his long trek and battle. His still form was protected from the downpour by the knotty old willow tree he was laid under. It wasn't until early evening that he woke.
"Hmmm, where am I?" His voice sounded strange. It was almost as if he were hearing it from underwater. He tried to open his eyes, but found they had been bound shut by a snug blindfold. He started to sit up when a pair of paws pushed him gently back down. The voice that came was in the same muffled tone as his own.
"Lie back down and relax. Your friends are unhurt, Noonvale is once again secure, and you need to rest." Martin couldn't tell if it was maid or male that had spoken.
"What happened? Why can't I see?"
"Your eyes took a bad shock with all the lighting that struck around you. Your vision should be fine, but for now your eyes need time to rest. Likewise the thunder caused no permanent damage, but I would wager your hearing is none too good right now."
"You would be right. Who are you?"
"I am the one you first saved by throwing your sword before you to deflect the fox's blade. You saved my life. Thank you."
"You're welcome, but I meant what is your name?"
"Lately the Noonvalers have taken to calling me the Vigil Keeper."
"Vigil Keeper? What were you waiting for?"
"For you, Martin, son of Luke. It was I that told Brome to send Emalet to find you. Once the threat of Rassk was made clear to us I knew that you would be the only one who could save our valley. You saved us all so long ago, I knew you would again."
A tear soaked into the blindfold as Martin answered. "I didn't save everyone that summer."
"What do you mean?"
"Forget it." Martin rolled over and turned his back on where he thought the Vigil Keeper was sitting. However the muted voice wouldn't leave him alone.
"Do you speak of all those who died at Marshank, Martin, or just one in particular?"
Martin felt himself becoming somewhat annoyed. This Vigil Keeper was quite perceptive, even though the creature was just a disembodied and stifled voice to him. "I regret the loss of all those who have followed me into battle and fallen. None of those good beasts should have had to die. I was the one who led them all, I was the one they were looking to, to protect them, and I was the one who failed them!" His voice grew louder as the weight of those losses came to him. More tears soaked into the blindfold.
The Vigil Keeper was a long time in answering. When words did come Martin could tell, even through his cotton ears that the creature was trying to sound kind. "Martin, would you die for your friends?"
The question shocked Martin. Either this creature had talked to Columbine and heard of that discussion or had had dealings with warriors of his caliber before. "Aye. If it meant they would live a peaceful life I would gladly trade my life for that to happen."
"And do you think that those who have fallen around you felt any different?" When Martin didn't answer the Vigil Keeper continued. "Columbine told me that she was the first to hear of your time at Marshank."
Aha! I knew it! Thought Martin. "When did you talk to Columbine?"
Martin thought he heard a quick laugh. "You've been asleep all day long Warrior. I've had time to meet your new friends. Columbine said that it seemed like you had come to terms with what happened at that place."
Martin rolled back onto his back to answer. "I thought I had. But as I came closer and closer to this place the memory of all those I had left came back. The shame I had felt when I abandoned all my friends here came back to me as well on the march from Redwall."
"You have nothing to be ashamed of Martin. Nobeast in Noonvale ever thought less of you for leaving as you did. While I'm sure we all would have wanted you to stay with us, it seemed we all knew why you had left."
"I can think of one who wouldn't have wanted to see me. And now he's gone and I can't even apologize to him."
"Who do you speak of?"
"Urran Voh. I'll never be able to say I'm sorry for what happened to…" but Martin couldn't bring himself to say Rose's name. "He never fully approved of me. I don't know if it was because I was and still am a warrior or because of …" again Martin's voice trailed off at the thought of the mousemaid he had lost.
"Urran Voh was doing as all fathers do Martin. Trying to protect his little girl. He only feared what all parents' fear, their children growing up and no longer needing them. True you were everything Urran wasn't and feared, a young, good looking, passionate, decisive, Mouse Warrior who had stolen his daughter's heart. He on the other paw was starting toward his middle seasons, was unsure as to where his children were that summer, was wracked with doubts about Rose and Brome's choices, and as all parents do worried constantly about them. I do think that when you were here he had a grudging respect for you, and as the seasons went on after your departure it developed into a healthy admiration."
"You know an awful lot about that family." Martin half-sat up resting on his forearms.
"Let's just say the family of Urran Voh and I have been very close over the seasons."
"Regardless, I don't see why Urran Voh would admire the one who sent his daughter to her death."
"Martin, you didn't send Rose to her…"
"I know!" Martin finally snapped. When he spoke it was as if the emotions he had been holding back and kept under such careful check had finally been let loose. He sat bolt upright and started screaming. "It wasn't me! It was Badrang, I've told myself that countless times. I almost believed it when Columbine said it back at Redwall. It doesn't change the fact that she would still be alive today if I had asked her to not attack the fortress. I swore to protect her, she died and I failed! I swore to uphold the code of the warrior; I killed Badrang out of hate, I failed! I swore to never desert my friends; I ran from them, I failed! I didn't even have the courage to face her father after her death, and I ran like a coward. All I have ever known of this place is failure and loss!
"Even now I don't think I can bring myself to set paw in that valley. As soon as I'm rested I have a token of my own to leave, then I will return to Redwall and never leave that place again." The blindfold was, by now, soaked with the tears of shame flowing from the closed eyelids. Breathing heavily he lay back down again. Martin was glad he couldn't see the Vigil Keeper. He wouldn't want to see the look on that one's face on the realization that Noonvale's great hero thought himself a crying shameful coward.
"Did you love her?"
It was a simple enough question, but it tore into Martin with more force than any blade or claw ever had. "She was everything to me. For those two and a half weeks I saw myself in a future without having to carry my sword. I saw us having a family. I had even thought of the perfect place in Noonvale to build our house. I loved her from the moment I saw her." Martin had no idea why he was pouring his heart out to a creature he couldn't see or even hear properly. He did know that somehow letting it all out to this creature provided a balm to his heart as nothing had before.
"Even now after all this time?"
Through his tears the Warrior nodded. "Even now. There has never been any other. She set me free from captivity in Marshank to lock me in chains even more tightly than those ever could have been. I don't know if she even knew."
The muffled voice of the Vigil Keeper grew dimmer as Martin again started falling into the realms of sleep. "She knew Martin. She always did." Martin wasn't sure if it was his taxed hearing, but he thought he heard the sounds of sobbing come from the Vigil Keepers voice.
She knew, she always did. The thought kept bouncing around Martin's mind until sleep finally claimed him. That night his dreams were not of spectral images from his past shrouded in gray mist. The smiling face of Rose appeared to him and kept saying over and over, "I love you Martin. I always have." The new knowledge gave Martin the most peaceful and restful sleep he had had, since his last night on the cliffs with the mousemaid.
Martin woke the next morning to the sounds of rain still coming down overhead. Yet, to the east the clouds had broken to reveal a bright sunrise. The shining dawn bathed the woods in a shower of golden dripping light. He was glad to find the blindfold had been removed and his eyesight and hearing were as sharp and clear as ever. A maiden's song was the first sound to reach his ears.
"You will find me in Noonvale on the side of a hill,
When the summer is peaceful and high,
There where streamlets meander the valley is still,
'Neath the blue of a calm cloudless sky…"
At first the Warrior Mouse thought he was still asleep and dreaming. At only one other time in his life had he heard such a fine singing voice. Martin stood up and looked around, but all he could see was the curtain of willow branches around him. He cautiously moved out from under the tree as the song continued.
"Look for me at dawning when the earth is asleep.
Till each dewdrop is kissed by the day,
'Neath the rowan and alder a Vigil I'll Keep,
Every moment that you are away…"
The song seemed to be coming from the nearby river. Walking silently to the west Martin gazed on the singing maiden. It was a very pretty mousemaid. She was standing between two old and knotted willow trees. In front of her the river laughed and gurgled while dragonflies glided lazily about her footpaws. She was dressed in a light purple traveling dress; a pale pink sash encircled her waist. The garlands of roses bordering the sash matched the scarf, still tied to Martin's arm, to perfection. Overhead a bright rainbow framed the scene. But that beauty paled in comparison to the song she was singing.
"The old earth gently turns as the seasons change slowly.
All the flowers and leaves born to wane.
Hear my song o'er the lea like the wind soft and lowly…
Martin added his own voice to the last line.
"Oh please come back to Noonvale again."
At the sound of his voice the mousemaid turned and stared at Martin. He however was rooted to the spot in shock. Only one word escaped his mouth. "Rose?"
"Martin!" Rose shouted out his name and ran to him, hurling herself into his arms. She started talked very rapidly in her excitement "I knew you would come, I just knew it. Then after everything you said last night, and what your friends have told me you've gone through, I can't believe that you…mmmph!"
Rose couldn't talk anymore since Martin had leaned his head down and kissed her. Rose couldn't remember a time she had felt as happy, exited, or nervous as at that moment. As he continued to kiss her, her nerves left and she was only caught up in the feel of the Warrior next to her. The muscled arms that held her, the broad back where she could feel several new scars under his fur, the scent of smoke that still hung on him from his duel all came rushing to her as they kissed. Her heart skipped several beats and time stood still during that enchanted moment.
Finally it was only the need for air that caused the two to break apart. Still holding her tight to him, Martin started stroking Rose's soft headfur. The long seasons of pain and angst were finally and completely gone from the Warrior. All that mattered was the mousemaid in his arms and the wonderful sense of happiness than now flooded through him.
Rose's voice was again muffled, but this time it was because she had buried her face into the fur at Martin's neck. "Wow! I have dreamed for so long for that kiss to happen."
Martin couldn't help but grin. "How was it?"
Rose looked up at him then. "You were and still are better than any dream my brave Warrior." She then laid her head down on Martin's shoulder again as he still had not let her go. Not that she wanted him to let her go anyway.
"Was that you last night? The Vigil Keeper?" Martin asked. Rose only nodded. "Then how come you didn't tell me then it was you?"
Rose looked up at him with a teasing expression. "And ruin this perfect morning?"
Martin laughed. "You mean to tell me that you knew I would wake with the dawn to your singing, with a perfect rainbow overhead and I would just take you in my arms and kiss you breathless?"
Rose flicked his ear playfully. "Well maybe not the rainbow, but I was pretty sure about the rest. Especially after you confessed your undying love last night." Martin felt his face flame at the memory. Rose laughed at him again. "Even after all this time you're still adorable when you're embarrassed."
Overhead the rain had stopped and the sun was breaking through the treetops causing golden rays of light to shine down on the river. Martin saw where one of the beams was shining. Reaching down he swept Rose off her paws and ran to the river. "Adorable when embarrassed am I? Let's see how embarrassed you'll be when you come home to Noonvale soaking wet!" With a laugh and a leap he jumped into the river carrying a squealing Rose with him.
They were both laughing uproariously when they surfaced. The next gleeful hour was spent splashing each other like Abbey Dibbuns in the pond shallows. Rose dunked Martin one last time before allowing him to help her back onto the bank. They sat down with Martin's back against an old tree trunk and Rose sitting comfortably in his lap, his arms around her waist. The morning sun was shining bright and clear as its rays dried the river water from them.
Rose pawed the scarf tied to Martin's arm. "I see you got my token."
"So it was you who sent it. I thought it was Brome's way of ensuring I came back here."
Rose looked up at Martin with delight in her hazel eyes. "I figured you would need your maidens colors when you would fight your battle. I was so proud to see you wearing this that night."
"Your scarf definitely reminded me of the reason why I'm a warrior. To protect all good beasts I meet. To stand up against bullies who would harm them. And to…mmm!" It was Martin's turn to be cut off mid-sentence as Rose kissed him this time. Rose was grinning when they broke apart. She could tell that she had just caused Martin's head to spin out of control in joy with her affections. "What was that for if I may ask?"
She cocked an eyebrow at him in mock–astonishment. "You need a reason for me to kiss you?"
Martin laughed and ruffled her head fur. "Never."
Rose laughed at the tickling sensation. "If you must know it was mainly because I've dreaming of kissing you for I can't count how many seasons now, and because you ramble a bit when you act the part of the brave Warrior Mouse."
"Is that what I was doing last night? Rambling as I played the brave Mouse Warrior?" Martin had a concerned look to his face as he asked the question.
Rose snuggled closer next to him when she answered. "Yes in a way. Columbine suggested that before I let you know I was still alive I make sure that you were completely healed from your fight and from your guilt. She told me what you had told her when Emalet found you. Gonff warned me it might take a bit of prying to get you to come out of your shell. It seems you've become a bit of tough nut to crack since you've been away. But I knew I could get you to talk. I always could."
Martin hugged her tighter as he responded. "That you could. And thank you so much for that last night. I was finally able to let go of everything, but really only right before I fell back asleep when you said you knew I loved you."
Rose's eyes brimmed with joyful tears at the recollection of that discovery. "You are so very welcome. I must admit, Martin that getting you to confess that was what I was after. I didn't know if what you felt towards me that summer was just because I was the first maid you had ever really met, or because of all the many adventures we had gone through, or if it was true love. I spent the rest of that night holding you and telling you over and over that I loved you too."
Martin smiled at the recollection. "I know. I had a dream all night long of your face saying just that. It was the most peaceful night I had known since that night you slept next to me on the cliffs."
Rose gave Martin another kiss at that. "What a sweet thing to say." The two mice sat in silence for a long while. Rose was on the verge of falling asleep when Martin spoke up again.
"Rose?" Martin waited until she looked up at him.
"Yes?"
For the first time since he had seen her on the riverbank Martin's face was somewhat grave. "How is it that you're alive? While I am somewhere quite beyond overjoyed that it's true, I did see what happened to you at Marshank, and then later Rowanoak, Grumm, and Pallum all said you were…well…"
"Dead?" Rose finished. Martin could only nod.
Rose took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Her grin was gone from her face. "I don't remember very much of anything after I jumped on that horrible stoat. I do remember I tried to beat him with my sling, but you remember it was never very large and, well, neither am I. I woke up back here at Noonvale with a blanket draped over me. When I walked out of my room and saw my parents they were quite shocked. They believed Brome when he had told them I was dead. I guess he hadn't learned how to check a pulse properly, or my heart wasn't beating all that fast, or something. Mother could never quite explain it properly.
"Needless to say I was still quite weak. Except for walking out of my room that day it was very hard for me to get around. After he learned a bit more about healing, Brome told me that due to where my head had hit the wall in Marshank, I wouldn't be able to walk properly for a long time. He looked through every book and scroll on healing in Noonvale to find a healing and recovery regimen that would enable me to move properly again. By the time that was settled Rowanoak had come back from Polleekin's tree house without you.
"I so desperately wanted to travel south right then to find you. It was almost unbearable being apart from you. But Mother, Father, and Brome were right. I was in no position to travel anywhere and no one knew where you had gone. It took many long seasons before I was able to walk and run like I had used to. By the time that happened creatures were just starting to flee here because of Rassk. I couldn't leave to find you when there were so many to help.
"After Father died it was too late to leave. I might be one of the few Noonvalers to have ever set foot outside the valley, but only to the Eastern Sea and of course where we had traveled after escaping Marshank. I somehow knew you would never want to return to that dreary place.
"Then when Brome called the meeting to say that we would send for you, I still can't explain it, but I just somehow knew you were alive in Mossflower. So that's where I sent Emalet."
Martin squeezed Rose tighter as she finished her tale. "I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you Rose. I should have been."
Rose opened her eyes again and looked up at Martin. "You were with me Martin. The whole time. You were always in my heart."
Martin could only hug her close at her kind words. Realizing that her body weight was slowly cutting off the circulation to his legs, Martin stood up pulling Rose with him. "Well that's all in the past. I don't think we should talk about it again."
Rose's smile had returned as she walked paw in paw with Martin back to the tree where he had recovered from his duel. "I agree." She gestured to the few empty medicine bottles that were still on the ground. "Here, let's get this cleaned up and head back to Noonvale. I'm sure all your friends and all of Noonvale for that matter can't wait to see you."
Martin made a fine show of acting like it was the biggest and most dreary chore he had ever done. "Oh I suppose. But do I have to? They're all big and mean, and won't like me."
Rose laughed as she treated him like a naughty Dibbun. "Yes you do young mouse. Now hurry up or you get no dessert after supper."
Shortly thereafter Martin had packed all the healing supplies in a well-organized carrying case. Paw in paw with Rose, the two mice walked the newly damp trail back to Noonvale.
Rose had a question of her own for the Warrior. "Martin, last night you said you were going to leave a token of your own here in Noonvale. What is it?"
"Token? I don't know what you're talking about." Martin said with a grin.
"Martin the Warrior you know full well what I'm talking about. Now out with it. I told you my secret, you owe me one."
"All in due course Laterose," said Martin using her full title.
Rose gave an exasperated sigh. "Ugh! Martin! You know I only use my full name for very formal occasions." Martin only smiled back at her as they hiked back to the secret valley of Noonvale.
A/N; Stranger at the Abbey eat your heart out. And yes, I can say that on good authority as I'm the one who wrote Stranger at the Abbey. Personally I like this chapter better than that story for several reasons. First I put A LOT more time and effort into this chapter than that story. Stranger was something I made up as I wrote it. As you know from above I spent a lot of time editing and re-writing this chapter. Hopefully all the hard work makes for a better chapter and storyline.
Secondly (spoiler warning for Stranger) I didn't have to use a coma again to bring Rose back. You have no idea the relief I felt when I came up with the partial paralysis/ she-needs-time-for-physical-therapy idea. I was quite glad I thought of that, especially since it was around 3:00 in the morning when I did. I hate repeating major themes (except for the whole Rose being alive theme, I like that one) from one of my stories in a different one. I'm sure many small similarities are present, but from where I sit it's two different stories.
Third I'm glad I kept the drafts of the second and third versions of this story and chucked the first version. The first version just plainly sucked and wasn't leading anywhere. I was able to combine the second and third versions and still have room left over to continue the story, and still have ideas I thought were good from both versions for later chapters. Wow that was a run on sentence if I've ever seen one, oh well.
This chapter was probably quite over the top in terms of romantic sappiness. But think about it. What would you do if you had lived for so long thinking your one true love was dead and now all of a sudden they're back? You would probably do the same thing as Martin and just start snogging (what a great word from our British cousins across the Pond). Hopefully all the playing and talking after that brought the characters back down to reality a level or two. Still I don't mind over the top romance from two of my favorite fiction characters.
Now comes the hard part, writing a believable scene with Martin, Rose, Columbine, Gonff, and everyone else all interacting together. I must admit I find it hard to write Gonff. His personality is just so out there that it's a stretch trying to write something that is still in canon character. Hopefully it will turn out decent.