It was Friday. The eighteenth of February. Three days and eighteen hours until Jamie's birthday. Three days and six hours since Jack and Jamie's reunion. Two days and twenty two hours since their first kiss. Twelve hours since they decided to stay at Jamie's house, and less than two hours before Jamie would be late for school.
The morning began as it had for the past three days: Jamie had fallen asleep with Jack by his side. The Guardian's cold body welcomed the warmth of Jamie's at the embrace. The bed was smaller than the one back at the Ice Palace, but they didn't mind; just another excuse to hold each other tighter. Jamie could fall asleep much easier than he ever had before. Jack would whisper a soft goodnight into Jamie's ear and kiss the back of his neck delicately. The soothing rhythm of the Guardian twisting bits of his hair around his finger lulled Jamie into a comforted sleep. This was perfect.
Well, almost perfect. The buzzing of an alarm clock shook Jamie from his content state of mind and left his eyes stinging from their incomplete REM cycle. Both Guardian and teenager flinched at the unwelcomed noise. Jack let out a groan, burrowing his face into the crook of Jamie's neck. The brunette reached over to the obnoxious clock, eyes still refusing to open, and threw it as hard as he could at the wall farthest from his bed. The sudden action surprised Jack and he jumped, looking over at the now-silent alarm on the floor.
"And it survives impact!" The Guardian commented, mimicking an athletic announcer before letting his head fall back onto the pillow.
Jamie let out a chuckle, rolling over onto his stomach and covering his head with the blanket. "I should hope so," His words were muffled by the pillow his face was currently digging into. "I throw the fucking thing every other day."
Jack smiled at the teenager's thick-with-sleep voice reverberating against the pillow. The spirit propped himself up on an elbow, facing Jamie to idly twirl a bit of his long hair between his fingers. "Tired?"
Jamie snorted. "Nah, man, I'm fine." The brunette shifted, turning onto his back and rubbing his exhausted eyes. He yawned, taking a big stretch while murmured something along the lines of "ughuu.. Fuckin... uuugh. ...early for this shit. kkekk...shhoo." before looking up at Jack. He had a dorky smile on his face and was resisting the urge to call Jamie a complete cutie.
"...Do you even sleep?" Jamie raised an eyebrow. The revelation only just occurred to him upon seeing the spirit unaffected by the morning stupor.
The Guardian shrugged. "No."
"Wait, for real?" Jamie sat up a bit. Jack nodded. "So you're awake, like, all the time?"
"I don't really need to sleep. Immortal perk."
"So what do you do when I'm asleep?"
"I dunno." He hadn't really given it much thought. "Space out... Think about you or whatever..."
"Yeah?" This got Jamie smiling. "What about me?"
"Oh, I don't know..." Jack slinked an arm around Jamie at this, pulling him closer slowly. "How warm you are..." Their eyes locked. "How perfect you are..."
Jamie pressed their foreheads together. "Hmm... go on..."
"And how you have hair that's a little too long but I like it because I can play with it." Jack ran gentle fingers through it. Jamie tilted into the touch, eyes closed and peaceful expression on his face. "And how you've got the cutest smile I've ever seen, and how I'd wish you'd show it more often. And how you've forgiven me for being an idiot on multiple occasions. And how I wish you didn't have to sleep, so I could kiss you sm'more"
"Well, I'm awake now," Jamie wrapped his arms around Jack's neck. "You can kiss me all you want." At this, Jack pressed their lips together, only to back away a second later.
"Ugh, Jamie," He said with a light laugh. "You've got morning breath."
"Oh, shut up." The brunette chuckled. "You're ruining the moment." His eyes had closed again and he pulled the spirit back. Jack gave up resisting, quickly tugging Jamie closer and falling into a content rhythm of interlocking lips and tangling tongues. They shared kisses for what seemed like hours. Jamie was attempting to distract himself from the thought in the back of his mind that he would have to get up and go to school soon. He didn't want to think about anything but Jack. He was tired of all other things. The repetitive feeling in the pit of his stomach that activated every time he thought of school and the future and responsibility was obnoxiously old. It seems all he did nowadays was worry about life after high school and stuff. He was disgusting himself.
But the future was inevitable. It would soon become the present and the present would just as quickly change to the past. Time was constantly shifting, continuously converting at a pace no one could keep up with. Soon Jamie would be eighteen. The unstoppable rotation of the Earth waited for nothing. Not the fears of a teenage boy. Not the worries of an immortal Guardian. Not even the compassion they shared could literally stop time, although their embraces seemed to. What the future held in store for them was a frightening mystery and there was nothing they could do to stop it.
There was a knock on his door. "Jamie?" His mother's voice called. "Are you going to school today?"
Jamie reluctantly ceased his kiss with Jack to answer. "Yeah, mom. I'm getting dressed right now."
Jack broke away when the teenager just went right back to kissing him. "Hey, seriously, it's like seven fifteen. You'll be late if you don't get dressed now." Jamie had slept in a simple t-shirt and sweatpants. He could very well just wear that to school, but the outfit held an air of laziness, and Jamie considered himself at least a little proud of his attire.
The teenager groaned and slouched up into a sitting position. "You just want me to take off my clothes."
The Guardian laughed. "That one was kinda transparent, huh?"
Jamie smiled but rose from the bed anyway. He strode across the room and opened the bedroom door.
"Where are you going?" Jack sat up.
"I needa brush my teeth, jeez." Jamie chuckled at the concerned expression his Guardian wore. "I'll be right back."
"I'll miss you!" Jack exaggerated his call as the teenager closed the door behind him.
The winter spirit fell back onto the mattress on an exhale. He took to staring around Jamie's room. More posters of guys in their twenties wielding guitars surrounded him. Jack thought the passion the teenager felt for these people and their music was endearing. It was nice to know there was at least one thing that made Jamie happy while Jack was gone.
There wasn't much else in Jamie's room aside from various piles of clothes and papers. An old television sat in one corner of the room and an equally ancient gaming system was plugged into it, gathering dust. A desk against his wall was almost unrecognizable from under the scattered papers and books that littered the surface. A laptop sat amidst the mess. It looked barely used, by the look of dust coating the surface. Jack found this odd; a teenage boy living at the peak of the technological era with an abandoned computer and outdated gaming system. Jack had noticed a rapid increase of the use of electronics in the past seven years, faster than he'd seen any invention take hold in all his three hundred and eighteen years of existence. So why would Jamie be one of the only teenagers disinterested in it?
Jack glanced to his left, at the bedside table the alarm clock had been on. His eyes caught something silver, and recognized it as an iPod. The Guardian sat up, reaching over to examine the artifact responsible for Jamie's desire to go back home in the first place. The model was at least ten years old. Its once-shiny surface was covered in a multitude of scratches and dents. A graying pair of earphones were plugged into the device and looked near to falling apart. This thing was Jamie's most important possession?
He turned the bulky iPod over in his hands a few times before deciding to put in an earphone. Jack pressed the menu button but only got half a second to glance at it.
"What are you—" Jamie had reentered the room. He had a millisecond to register what his Guardian was doing before taking an urgent step forward. "Jack, no. Don't—Give that to me."
The spirit raised an eyebrow. "Why? I'm not gonna break it."
"That's not…" The teenager was anxiously holding back the urge to snatch it out of Jack's hand. "Seriously, just give it."
Now Jack was beyond curious. "What have you got hidden on here?" He turned his back on the brunette and began pressing buttons. "Are you afraid I'm gonna—"
Jamie dove from where he was and onto the bed, grabbing for the iPod. Jack yelped, holding the device away from his reach on instinct as Jamie's body tumbled over his. They struggled, Jamie out of desperation and Jack out of sheer confusion. Eventually Jamie finally retrieved his iPod from Jack's grip, both of them breathing heavily from the tussle. The teenager clutched it tightly as Jack stared up at him, awaiting an explanation. Jamie's legs were straddling Jack from where they fell onto the ground. His free hand clutched Jack's wrist and pinned it down. Jack's left hand was pressed against Jamie's chest, intent on pushing him off but thinking better of it once they both seemed to realize they were acting ridiculous and froze in place.
"I…" Jack saw the blush quickly rise to Jamie's face. "I don't even know how to respond to this." He attempted to ignore how Jamie was holding him down and the titillating pressure his ass was unintentionally applying to Jack's pelvis. "Wha…What actually just happened?"
The teenager broke eye contact and rose from their suggestive position. He cleared his throat, offering a hand to help Jack up. "Sorry. I just… I'm really paranoid about my music."
"…Why?" A simple question. Jack didn't sound insensitive or repulsed. Jamie saw this as a nice change. Most people didn't understand his passion for music. Then again, Jack wasn't most people.
"…I just… I love it so much, but, ah…" He didn't want this explanation to sound as stupid as it was going to. "You'd… totally make fun of me for the kind of stuff I listen to…"
"What?" Jack asked. "No, I—Jamie do you really think I'm that shallow?"
"Ah, no, just…" He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't think you, or really anyone, can understand why I love my music and stuff so much."
"Well maybe if you let me listen to it—"
"No," he was quick to reject. Clearing his throat again, he ducked his head to hide his embarrassment. "I mean, no, sorry. They're—my favorite bands and stuff—really important to me, like they're more than just idols… Like… If you didn't like their music, then I'd… I dunno… It's actually really complicated and stupid. … just… Never mind. It's stupid." He repeated and shook his head. Jamie turned and put his iPod back on the bedside table. "Sorry I jumped you."
There was a beat, Jack assessed the situation and analyzed Jamie's tone. Who was he to argue someone's passion? They'd talk about this later. No need to upset Jamie further right before school. So Jack simply moved over to Jamie, wrapping his arms around him from the back and kissing his cheek compassionately.
"Alright," His voice was soft and he took comfort in the small smile returning to Jamie's lips. "You don't have to show me yet. But I promise not to insult you or your music when you decide to. Because if you love it, it must be perfect."
"Thanks, Jack…" Jamie found his stomach doing small flips. With Jack, he was used to the sensation. As of late, the feelings of his heart fluttering and stomach twisting were rapidly increasing. Was this what falling in love felt like?
Jack let go, to Jamie's disappointment. "Okay." He stepped back. "You almost ready for school, then?"
The teenager rolled his eyes. "Yeah, almost." He grabbed some fresh clothing from his dresser. Jack had his back turned again to offer some privacy as Jamie undressed. He grabbed his staff from its place against the wall and began idling picking at the ancient bark covering it. He heard the shuffling of cloth as Jamie removed his sweatpants and replaced them with jeans.
"That was nice of your mom to offer to let you stay home, though…" Jack brought up a previous subject.
"Oh, yeah…" Jamie recalled as he removed his shirt. "She was just… worried about me, I guess. But I don't know why she isn't used to it by now…"
"Yeah? Do you often run away from home?" Jack meant it as a joke, but when silence was all he received, he turned. Jamie stood with his bare back to the spirit, rubbing fabric between his fingers. "Wait… do you?"
Jamie didn't answer at first. He tugged on a maroon hoodie and occupied his hands.
"Jamie…" There seemed to be a different question he should be asking. "Why was your mother so worried?"
The teenager's mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to piece together a response that wouldn't upset Jack. "I used to…" The words were thick in his throat. "I used to wander around the town for hours, sometimes even overnight. I don't know why… I guess I just… liked the time alone…"
Jack had his full attention. As Jamie ran another hand through his long hair and took a seat next to Jack on the bed, the Guardian was completely alert.
"Then… then I started running away for longer periods of time. Whenever I had an intense homework assignment or presentation due the next day… I guess it was like the ultimate procrastination method." He offered a light laugh at this, but Jack felt this conversation going in a dark direction.
Jamie exhaled, laying out his words so they might be at least a little comprehensible. "But I realized that half-heartedly running away wasn't enough to really… escape? I guess… So… so I started hurting myself… because the physical pain was easier to handle than the emotional shit I was going through…" Jack's hand had found Jamie's and his thumb lightly stroked it. "One time, I, uh… hah… I did the stupidest thing… It was winter and it was snowing… And that's when I'm at my worst, y'know. So I… After another one of my fits I… I grabbed my iPod and stormed out of the house… It was late. After two in the morning, I think… I dunno what I was doing… I think I was... trying to find you, or something stupid like that… I got to the pond, 'cause that's as far as my legs would let me go. Eventually they just gave in and I fell into the snow. I didn't even bother trying to get up. It was at least twenty below… But I couldn't feel the cold… All I could feel was anger… like, red hot anger that overpowered the freezing air and started searing my brain… I was so angry at… I dunno just… everything? You, the Guardians, school, my future…"
Jamie felt his throat start to seal up and fought stubborn tears to finish his story. "It was all so overwhelming and I was angry at my helplessness, above all else. Because I couldn't bring you back, I couldn't find you. I couldn't stop time or change the people who treated me badly. I couldn't help my mother when I was the source of her grief…" He paused; the next part of the story was suddenly very vivid and dangerously close in Jamie's mind. "But then I realized…there was something I could do…"
He swallowed a lump in his throat, refusing to look up at Jack's apprehensive expression. He felt Jack's cold breath so close to him, reminding him of the frigid air from that night. "I considered walking onto the ice and smashing through it… Surely that would be the quickest way… But even though my brain was boiling and anger fueled my senses like coal in a fire, my body and limbs were succumbing to the cold. My legs wouldn't move and my sweat was freezing to my skin, burning in a very different way. So I kept still… laying in the snow, listening as music lulled me into a calmer state. I felt my muscles relaxing. I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind… I knew it would be over soon… I'd never feel anger again. In fact, I'd never feel anything. I wouldn't feel remorse or regret or sadness or helplessness or confusion or humiliation or envy or guilt or fear ever again. The snow built up, covering my body and freezing away my anger. I felt a snowflake land on my nose… I was instantly reminded of you… Of that one night years ago when I first saw you and you showed me how magical the world could be. I remembered you jumping around my room, making it snow and acting so happy… I missed you. I wanted you to take me away instead of your unforgiving snow. I can remember my last thought very clearly: My only regret was I'd never be able to see you again… And that's when I blacked out. "
whoops this took way too incredibly long. i apologize i have been so distracted but mostly just lazy i blame homestuck.
i promised myself i wouldn't let homestuck consume my soul but it's doing it. its fuckin doing it.
im sorry. maybe chapter 13 won't take a whole two and a half weeks.
unlucky chapter 13 aw yeah wait what who said that.