There were only three things running through Jack's mind as the teenager choked through his story. One: Jamie had tried to kill himself. Two: Jack's plan to not upset him before school had failed miserably. And three: Jamie had tried to kill himself.
No words could describe exactly how much it hurt Jack to hear this. His breath was frozen in his throat as he remained perfectly still. He stared at Jamie, the person he cared about more than anything, and felt the familiar jaws of helplessness maiming his fragile emotions. He'd failed. He didn't protect Jamie. He could have stayed, watched over the brunette and saved him from ever going through such emotional trauma. Jack hated himself. For leaving Jamie, for obeying North and the Man in the Moon, for taking his sister ice skating and for drowning in that pond. For becoming immortal and invisible for three hundred years. For meeting Jamie in the first place… because the answer was so obvious. He met Jamie. He left Jamie. He let Jamie suffer. He had no one to blame but himself. After all, he was Jack Frost; he made a mess wherever he went.
Jamie swallowed hard and his grip on Jack's hands tightened. He felt intimidated by the spirit's undivided attention. He needed to curl into himself and away from his Guardian's intense sympathy. He didn't want to talk about this anymore, but his mouth wouldn't stop spitting out words. He was crying again and wanted to slap away the red flushing his face.
"I woke up in a hospital."Shut up. Why are you still talking?His thoughts were ignored by his throat as it kept bursting with almost incoherent words. "Everything was kinda hazy and I could barely feel my arms and legs. My mom was there with Sophie and told me that she'd gone looking for me a few hours after I left the house. She found me covered in snow and rushed me to the hospital. I had hypothermia and… a bunch of other medical conditions I can't really remember. She was crying a lot. After I'd recovered she took me to a therapist and they tried to 'uproot the cause of my volatile mental condition' or some shit like that. ...Of course he latched onto my 'obsession' with the Guardians. He kept giving me all these reasons why you weren't real and why I should move on." Jamie let out a bitter laugh and ran a hand over his face. "And, fuck, I almost did just to get him to stop talking. He didn't even consider the fact that maybe it was my schoolwork driving me insane. Maybe it was the pressure of my future responsibilities that made me such a fuckingemo. Maybe it was the idiots at school taunting me day after day that made me so fucking angry!"His voice had risen and Jack had moved a compassionate hand to the side of Jamie's face. The Guardian's eyebrows were knit in concern. He gently stroked Jamie's cheek with his thumb while the teenager caught his breath. Jack felt terrible for bringing this up. The subject was obviously not easy to talk about, but he needed to hear it. Jamie felt this important part of his life needed to be told to someone who cared. Jack definitely did. Jamie wouldn't let the Guardian see this side of him if he didn't.
Jamie swallowed down his aggressive tears and attempted to calm himself. "...Maybe it's not my fault at all for believing in the only wonderful thing I've ever had in my life..." Jamie felt the force spouting words from his mouth dwindling to a stop. He was left breathless and hung his head. "It's not my fucking fault..."One last whisper and lingering silence filled the air as Jack took his cue to wrap his arms tightly around Jamie.
"You're right; it's not your fault." The winter spirit murmured. "Nobody can blame you for what happened. You're perfect, Jamie. Perfect, okay?" Jack repeated, cold tears trailing down his cheek.
"I'm not, though." The teenager choked through his sobs. Jack's embrace had once again overwhelmed Jamie with immense affection.
"Oh, shut up." Jack kissed him. "Of course you are. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You were just scared. And confused… And if there's anyone to blame for that, it's me." He pressed their foreheads together and moved his hand to the back of Jamie's head. "I never should have left you."
Jamie shook his head. He averted his eyes as their noses touched. "No, you were just following orders. It's really not your fault. I just got too attached—"
"Okay, are we really going to spend hours debating whose fault this whole mess is?" The winter spirit let out a light laugh that made Jamie smile. "…If you really want to blame anyone, it should be the Man in the Moon."
Jamie nodded after a moment. "That guy's an asshole."
"You're telling me." Jack chuckled. "Leaving me on my own for years without a single word? What kind of jerk does that?"
Jamie laughed at this. It was soft and muddle by tears, but a laugh, nevertheless. It took another kiss for Jamie to become completely unaware of the world again. He didn't register the clock on his bedside table ticking away minutes before he'd be late for school. He didn't hear the pattering of feet approaching his door until it was too late.
Sophie's small figure revealed itself as she swung the door open. "Jaaamie, Mom said you hadda—"
Jamie jumped away from Jack so fast that their teeth accidentally collided upon separation, leaving both of them to cover their mouths in pain. Jack moaned through his hand and Jamie pressed his tongue against his front teeth. He was pretty sure his gums had started to bleed.
"Shit," He mumbled before turning to his little sister. "What is it Sophie?" He snapped, but she wasn't paying attention anymore. Jamie followed her gaze and felt a jolt when he realized she was staring directly at Jack. "…So you can still see him." He observed, only to be ignored again.
"You're Jack Frost!" was the first thing she said, gazing at the winter spirit in awe. Her green winter parka was long enough to cover her hands as she pointed. She looked a bit small for her age; as Jack stood he had at least two feet on her. "I remember you! Well, kinda. I was really little when I saw you first."
The winter spirit let out at laugh. "I remember you too, Sophie." He crouched, becoming eye level with her and smiling sweetly. "It's nice seeing you again."
"You're hot." She commented bluntly. Jack's smile fell from his face, unable to think of a response.
Jamie snorted at how easily Sophie was able to catch him off guard. He cleared his throat before correcting her with a dead-serious face. "Actually, Soph… he's cold."
Jack shook his head, smile unable to stay away. "Wow. Lamest joke ever." He began clapping slowly. "Right there. Take a bow, my friend, take a bow."
Jamie smirked and Sophie giggled. She swung her hands behind her back and began rocking on the balls of her feet.
"What're you doing here?" She tilted her head in curiosity. Her blonde hair fell in front of her eyes. It wasn't as messy as it was when she was younger, but still a bit unkempt.
"Well," His eyes darted to Jamie and back. "I've missed you and your brother so much I thought I'd stay for a little while." Good answer. And not entirely untrue.
"Really?!" Her face lit up. "You're gonna stay with us?!"
"Well, yeah. For a little while," Jack cast a glance at Jamie, a grin forming on his face as he watched their interaction. Jack wondered if the teenager realized the smile was there at all. "You two are my favorite people in the world, after all."
Her smile grew as she giggled again.
"What were you gonna tell me, Soph?" Jamie interrupted, remembering why she barged into his room in the first place.
"Oh yeah." She finally turned her attention to her brother. "Mom said you hadda walk me to school."
"She said I had to?"
"Well, she said if you wanted to… but I say you hav'ta." She crossed her arms.
Jamie let out and exaggerated sigh, glancing at the clock and then up at Jack. He shrugged his shoulders forward in response as if to say "You heard the lady." Jamie rose from the bed with resolve, grabbing his backpack and gesturing dramatically to the door.
"Alright, your highness," He bowed, his almost-too-long brunette bangs falling in front of his eyes. "Lead the way."
Sophie smirked at his obedience and Jack once again saw the resemblance between the siblings in an instant. The winter spirit smiled, grabbing his staff from its place on the wall and sauntering closer to Jamie as Sophie strode out the room.
Jamie stood up straight again, noticing how close Jack was. "After you, princess," The teenager quipped sarcastically, the words sounding slightly deep and growled. Jamie raised an eyebrow at Jack, grinning with the corner of his mouth. The suggestive subtlety of his expression sent a grayish blush to the winter spirit's face; now that was hot.
Jack shook off the arousal Jamie's fake-seduction technique had inevitably caused him and laughed at the joke. "I'll give you 'princess', Jamie Bennett." Jack copied his expression, giving the teenager a swift smack on the ass before proceeding out the door.
The walk to school wasn't as painful as Jamie expected it to be. The elementary school was a few blocks away and the high school was three blocks further. He was used to Sophie demanding an escort, but that didn't keep him from getting annoyed with her when she couldn't shut her mouth. But this time was more bearable. Jack was there and Sophie finally had an audience cooperative enough to listen to her nonstop blabbering.
"Where's that giant bunny guy? Did he not wanna come with you?" She was walking backwards in front of them so she could face Jack, who was strolling beside Jamie. He'd hold the teenager's hand whenever Sophie had her back turned.
"Ah, no, he's really busy." Jack explained patiently. "Easter's only a few months away, after all."
"Oh." Sophie's expression fell. "That sucks."
"But he misses you, Sophie." Jack brought her smile back. "I honestly have never seen him get as attached to a kid as he has with you."
Sophie turned back around, proud look on her face. "Well, tell him to come with you next time."
"I will," The spirit had locked fingers with Jamie again.
Sophie was quiet for most of the walk, which Jamie took to be a miracle. They'd almost made it to the elementary school when she spoke up again.
"So you guys are like, boyfriends, right?"
This stopped them both dead in their tracks. Jamie smacked their hands apart as Sophie turned around, clever grin on her face.
"Um. We're…" Jack attempted to form a response.
"What makes you say that?" Jamie asked his little sister accusingly.
"Saw you guys makin' out." She giggled, turning her back on them again and skipping slightly. "You're so weird."
"Yeah, well," Jamie kicked her backpack lightly, causing her to giggle. "You're weirder." They'd finally arrived in front of the school. "We're not boyfriends. Now get your butt over there." He nodded his head at the group of girls calling for Sophie.
She laughed. "'Kay. 'Bye Jamie, 'bye Jack!" Her blond hair flew back as she broke out into a run to meet up with her friends. Jamie shook his head but had a smile on his face as they continued to walk.
"So…" Jack spoke up after a few steps. "We're not boyfriends?"
Jamie faltered. "…No, I didn't mean… Well… I guess we are."
"You guess?" Jack looked over at him. Jamie had a serious expression on his face that made the winter spirit worry again. "What's wrong?"
The teenager didn't feel like explaining why he disliked hearing it… "Boyfriends"… The term felt too normal. It didn't seem like an adequate description of their relationship. But that was exactly what they were. They were 'dating' and were 'boyfriends' even though they A.) had never been on a date together. B.) had never had sex together. And C.) had a three hundred year age difference between the two of them. Not exactly what the rest of the world would classify as a normal relationship. "Nothing. It's just… my brain's being dumb again, I dunno…"
Jack began hovering in the air in front of him to get his attention. "No really, tell me." He was genuinely curious at this point.
"I don't know," Jamie avoided eye contact. "It just feels weird… calling you that."
"Weird." Jack repeated, an eyebrow rose in question.
"Ugh! I dunno, yes!" Jamie let out an exasperated breath. "Weird."
"Good weird or bad weird?"
"Neither! Just… weird." He couldn't really come up with the right words. "It's like… we're a thing; we're together... but… fuck it, okay? I don't know, it just feels weird calling you my…" Jamie didn't look up at his Guardian.
"Your boyfriend?" A smirk had appeared on the spirit's face.
"Shut up," Jamie grumbled, tugging at the inside of his pocket when he realized Jack was deliberately messing with him. "Yes, that."
"Oh, alright, then," Jack shrugged, slowing down a bit so Jamie could walk a few steps in front of him. "I don't have to be your boyfriend if you don't want to call me that."
Jamie let out an exasperate sigh. "No, I mean… you can still be my…"
Jack leaned closer when Jamie didn't finish the sentence. "Boyfriend?"
"Whatever! Fine!" He was getting frustrated. A simple word shouldn't bother him so much. "You're my fucking boyfriend, okay? Happy?"
Jack sighed when teasing Jamie had lost its allure. He smiled anyway, kissing the teenager's cheek in attempts to calm him down. "Yes."
Jamie let out an aggravated sigh after a beat and tightened the hood of his sweater to cover his blushing face. "I am so fucking gay." He grumbled.
"That means happy, right?" The Guardian joked, grasping Jamie's hand delicately.
"I'm gonna punch you." His threat lost its power as he broke it with laughter. They were nearing the school and Jamie felt his stomach drop at the thought of another pointless day in that prison. They approached the entrance. The courtyard was empty and Jamie realized he was actually quite late. He stared at the door, sighing with a mix of regret and defeat.
Jack stood with him and gave his hand a small squeeze. "Ready?"
Jamie inhaled deeply, closing his eyes as if preparing himself. On his exhale he looked at Jack. He stared for a second before reaching over and giving Jack's ass a slap in return, earning a "Hey!" and attempts at revenge.
"Yup. Ready. Let's go." Jamie stepped quickly to avoid Jack's reach. The two of them slipped into the lobby, the first challenge on their journey to the weekend.
screeeeeeeeeeeeeches.
sorry this chapter is shit.
it will get better i promise i just have to push past the boring parts im sorry im so terrible
(btw one of you messaged me on tumblr and it ate it so message me again please! i forgot your url D:)